Power in Emotion

[Rollo Tomassi]

Have a read of this:

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/42819/whos-really-threatening-your-relationship

This article is standard Men's Fitness relationship truisms tripe that women gobble up like ice cream on a dateless evening, written by a properly emasculated and feminized contemporary male, but that's not what I'm getting at here. Have a look at the number of comments logged on this topic. When I first read this crap the comment total was 825, as of me posting this there are 1,752 and this jumps is just within a couple of hours.

Now have a read through the comments. As you'd expect, most are posted by females (as well as too many veal-boys) relating (bemoaning?) their personal experiences with infidelity and relating in intimate detail their painful, emotional associations with the rated scenarios this guy gives as potential infidelity situations.

Although this guy is fem tool dujour and, granted, we do debate our fair share of infidelity issues in this forum, I have to applaud this guy for so successfully playing on the human emotional response. Read some of the longish comments women post to see just how powerful this association is. When the author describes these circumstances that have a potential for infidelity it stimulates a response that emmulates the actual happening of the event. Naturally this guy never really touches upon the root motivations for infidelity, but he doesn't need to - the readers are already awash in the same chemical rush they experienced when they actually were in like circumstances.

I've gone into the biochemistry of jealousy in prior threads and how endorphins and dopamine prompt a circuitous emotional response that human beings can become addited to like an opiate, and I feel this is in the same vein. Women (and increasingly too many men) crave an immediate, gratifying emotional response, and when someone can give this to them they're easily manipulated. You can sell books, articles, self-help seminars, The Secret, and any number of other things you can associate with this emotional gratification.

 

[DJDamage]

I've gone into the biochemistry of jealousy in prior threads and how endorphins and dopamine prompt a circuitous emotional response that human beings can become addited to like an opiate, and I feel this is in the same vein. Women (and increasingly too many men) crave an immediate, gratifying emotional response, and when someone can give this to them they're easily manipulated. You can sell books, articles, self-help seminars, The Secret, and any number of other things you can associate with this emotional gratification.

Women crave drama!

Typical AFC's just want to make a woman happy and feel positive around him. In Actuality those are not strong emotions, they may be good emotions but a woman hungers more. Is it ever wonder why women are attracted to bad boys? the kind of guy that not only makes her feel happy but at times due to his unpredictable nature would make her cry, be furious with him, cuss him out, fear him (not hurting her physically but rather the fear of losing him) but in the end its the same old story and dance: he can't do no wrong and she always crawls back to him.

 

[STR8UP]

I've gone into the biochemistry of jealousy in prior threads and how endorphins and dopamine prompt a circuitous emotional response that human beings can become addited to like an opiate, and I feel this is in the same vein. Women (and increasingly too many men) crave an immediate, gratifying emotional response, and when someone can give this to them they're easily manipulated. You can sell books, articles, self-help seminars, The Secret, and any number of other things you can associate with this emotional gratification.

Ahhh, the Drama Drug.

More powerful than anything any pharmaceutical company has ever created. Learn how to administer the proper dose of this drug and you can have any number of females eating out of your hand....

 

[jophil28]

The "RollerCoaster" theory says the same stuff.
The "Cycle of Violence" also provides the all the emotional payoffs too . That is why so many women stay in a BAD and Violent relationship - for THE FEELINGS !! Especially during the "makeup phase".

Rollo always gives valuable insights ..

 

[Latinoman]

The author of this article is David Zinczenko. The editor of MensHealth Magazine. To put it in perspective, I remember he writing once in the Editorial part of the magazine that he was still living with his parents when he was in his late 20s or when he was 31. I am not sure as I read that several months ago. I might be wrong, so don't quote me on this.

I have been a subscriber of that magazine since the 1990s. And of all the three magazines I currently subscribe (Details and GQ being the other two)...I have to admit that I rarely read MensHealth.

MensHealth went from being a great magazine into becoming one that is full of misinformation when it comes to dating. And do you know why? Because they have several women writing the articles.

I remember several months ago one of them saying that "men that drive SUVs are sexy". LOL. Since when driving an SUV make a man sexy? Perhaps some of the sponsors are SUV manufactures.

I visited their on-line forum in the past and the "dating" forum is GARBAGE! It is the land of no one and literally run by low quality (VERY low quality -as defined by me) women members.

In essense...I don't recommend MensHealth Magazine anymore.

 

[Latinoman]

Some interesting excerpts:

#34
Dear David, I need advice on signs of a cheating husband. I am 40 and people think I'm in my late 20's or early 30's. I have been married for 7 years (3-18-07) + one year dating, and I see signs of non-interest in my husband. Just this past weekend (5-25,26,27) my husband spent those days with his buddies at the Myrtle Beach Bikers Show in South Carolina. All the guys took their wives, but he conveniently left me at home. I found out he knew about the trip since last October, but he didn't ask me to go until a week prior. We have two children, one is still in school, and he didn't give me enough notice to prepare for a baby-sitter. Also, we didn't do anything for our anniversary because he wanted to ride with "the fellas", and on Mother's Day, I got a $3.88 pack of roses from Wal-Mart. I am thinking about leaving him because this is the last of many things I have had to endure since we got married. I've had to deal with the attitudes and problems of the ex-wife, step-children, sister-in-law, mother-in-law and friends. He hangs around the worst people possible (alcoholics, drug-heads, and adulterers), and he is so gullible. He is already drinking more and it's just a matter of time for the other things to kick in. I almost had him stopped when he joined the church, but he started hanging around these people again. Am I wrong for thinking this way? Please advise.

[Note: She is NOT going to leave him.]


#68
hi. my name is Marie.i'm from Dubai. i have a boyfreind and he is in london now. i loved his and now too.we felt in love and he desided marry me, but sudenly every things changed. even he wanted hav sex with me. but now he want be alone and dont like and love me. maybe i'm thinking he doesnt love me.. bcs he doasnt show me.i love him. please tell me what can i do? i want him but i dont know how...

[Note: What a loser!]


#71
I just found out that my wife of 15 years recently messed around on a business trip with a co-worker/friend. They had been drinking and one thing led to another. She finally came to her senses, but not before things had went further that I would have liked. We have kids and a very good relationship, and she can't seem to find a reason why this happened. She says there are no feeling for this guy, and I am trying not to take this personally. As in, I am trying not to find something wrong with myself that would have caused this to happen. It is way easier to accept infidelity when it is a one time occurance, and not a prolonged affair. However, I wish I would have had this article a couple weeks ago, and I could have reviewed this with my wife. Her and this co-worker would go to lunch and I always had complete trust in her. I am glad that she told me, but the last couple days have been complete torture. I am not willing to throw away all our years on a couple hours of stupidity, and I can only hope that we can use this to make our marriage stronger. My biggest source of anger is that I had been to lunch with this guy and met him several times. He had a face to his deception, and knew what he was doing. My wife says I am being to angry at him, and not enough at her. However, I can't place my anger towards her, because I am afraid of doing irrepairable damage. I guess I am saying that my wife and I had (have?) a great relationship and talk openly, and I never thought it would happen to us. I had a bad feeling about this guy when I met him, and I wish I would have expressed my feelings sooner. Don't be afraid to express your feelings. More times than not, they will be acurate.

[Note: The BIGGEST AFC I've ever read in a serious board.]

#2648
I love my husband and I have never cheated. But the attention, repsect and romance went out the door sometime ago. I try and try but it seems to get me no where. I have a male friend that has the some kind of problem with his wife. But we are friends and have been for years. But we have never crossed that line for several reasons. He had his 1st wife do that to him and I would not. We both really have too much to lose. But in the end we are friends and always will be.

[Note: She must be ugly...and the reason she is not having sex with her friend is because he does not want to.]

 

[Vulpine]

And some of us keep have our exes as our desktop background for years after the split.

:crackup:

Wow, another douchebag article from a douchebag.

Oh man, the resoponses are a riot!

The spelling is a hillarious!

But I started to get a headache from the all the goo and chumps. The women were all like "save me, save me!" and all the guys were like, "what's wrong with me? why? save me, save me!"

It was like, in a lot of those guy's posts, you could subsitute "girlfriend" or "wife" with "boyfriend" or "life partner" and it would make a lot more sense.

But yeah, the emotion deal... 2168 posts. :crazy:
That author is obviously gunning for Dr. Phil's job.

 

[speed dawg]

#71 I just found out that my wife of 15 years recently messed around on a business trip with a co-worker/friend. They had been drinking and one thing led to another. She finally came to her senses, but not before things had went further that I would have liked. We have kids and a very good relationship, and she can't seem to find a reason why this happened. She says there are no feeling for this guy, and I am trying not to take this personally. As in, I am trying not to find something wrong with myself that would have caused this to happen. It is way easier to accept infidelity when it is a one time occurance, and not a prolonged affair. However, I wish I would have had this article a couple weeks ago, and I could have reviewed this with my wife. Her and this co-worker would go to lunch and I always had complete trust in her. I am glad that she told me, but the last couple days have been complete torture. I am not willing to throw away all our years on a couple hours of stupidity, and I can only hope that we can use this to make our marriage stronger. My biggest source of anger is that I had been to lunch with this guy and met him several times. He had a face to his deception, and knew what he was doing. My wife says I am being to angry at him, and not enough at her. However, I can't place my anger towards her, because I am afraid of doing irrepairable damage. I guess I am saying that my wife and I had (have?) a great relationship and talk openly, and I never thought it would happen to us. I had a bad feeling about this guy when I met him, and I wish I would have expressed my feelings sooner. Don't be afraid to express your feelings. More times than not, they will be acurate.

This would be a tough place to be in. However, physical cheating is an unforgiveable sin in my book. I can't reiterate it enough. It would be over, no looking back. She wouldn't even be a fukk buddy down the line anymore. She would be beneath me. However it's easy to say that when you're not in that position.

 

[Aenigma]

Ahhh, the Drama Drug.

More powerful than anything any pharmaceutical company has ever created. Learn how to administer the proper dose of this drug and you can have any number of females eating out of your hand....

Drama drug? Never heard of it. I'm guessing that it has something to do with making girls lives more "interesting". How do you use this (I really have no idea where to begin with it).

 

[azanon]

Have a read of this:

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/42819/whos-really-threatening-your-relationship

This article is standard Men's Fitness relationship truisms tripe that women gobble up like ice cream on a dateless evening, written by a properly emasculated and feminized contemporary male, but that's not what I'm getting at here. ............

Although this guy is fem tool dujour .....

I think that's a bit of a harsh review of that article. Though certainly nothing was presented that should be fully enlightening, it did provide some unique perspective with supportive reasonigs for why some encounters might not be as much of a threat as some might think, whereas other situations might be more of a threat than realized.

Also, great writing doesn't necessarily involve seeing how many words you can use that would have the average person going to dictionary.com or pulling out their dictionary on a shelf. I won't list any specific names here

 

[edger]

To put it in perspective, I remember he writing once in the Editorial part of the magazine that he was still living with his parents when he was in his late 20s or when he was 31. I am not sure as I read that several months ago. I might be wrong, so don't quote me on this.

What does that have to do with anything?

 

[Latinoman]

What does that have to do with anything?

Let me spell it out for you...if you are 31 and still living with your parents then you are a L.O.S.E.R.

 

[joekerr31]

the stats say 32% of single people 30-34% are living at home.

i dont think it makes you a loser if there are circumstances that are causing it (ie. going back to school, saving up money, etc.)

if mom is making your bed and cooking your meals, then yes, you're a loser.

i dont think its healthy to be at home at that age to be honest. but sometimes people do it to advance their lives in some fashion.

 

[edger]

Let me spell it out for you...if you are 31 and still living with your parents then you are a L.O.S.E.R.

Yep, you're a loser if you still live with your parents at 31 and you're a loser if you think not having a career is ok. Wow, what a bunch of terrible people that are hurting the world around them. Lets all annihilate them, the such no-good people that they are.

What a generic mode of thinking(that you're a loser if you're 31 and still living with your parents). Shall I say maybe you've been conditioned by American society? I'm not saying that's the case with you, but if it is, then that IS WEAK. THAT'S loserish. I don't give a F*CK what ANYONE in their mother thinks of me. They can lick my F*CKING balls. A true man doesn't give a F*CK what anyone thinks of him, and most importantly doesn't conform to the bullsh*t mindless mode of thinking that others try to instill in him. Talk about empowering men, eh.

My cousins in Italy, as well as a friend of mine from Italy, were all living with their parents till they were in their mid 30's. Europe is a whole different ballgame as far as how they think regarding this topic. You're not deemed a "loser" for living at home with parents.

Personally, I think living on your own is the way to go, not because of some mindless "consensus" that "deems you're a loser if you're 31, still living at home", but because it's nice to have your own privacy, and also having the freedom to be able to bring a chick back to your place and bang her wherever you want in the house(other than your room); on the kitchen table, on the couch, etc., not having to worry about anyone being there. But if anyone wants to live with their parents, that's their perrogative, nothing wrong with it, who am I to condemn.

 

[edger]

if mom is making your bed and cooking your meals, then yes, you're a loser.

Yes, absolutely.

As a poster here, you've got a good head on your shoulders Joekerr, I've been meaning to tell you that for a while. Your head and your heart seem like they are in the right place.

 

[MatureDJ]

I know a guy (a lawyer, BTW!) that was 52 and still living with his mother. He eventually got married and moved in with his wife.

 

[edger]

I know a guy (a lawyer, BTW!) that was 52 and still living with his mother. He eventually got married and moved in with his wife.

My dad told me once, had he never gotten married, he would've still been living at home. My father is a retired police officer and currently has a good paying job in the Federal court doing security.

 

[joekerr31]

in most places in the world many generations of family share the same living spaces.

its just in the west where we think that detaching yourself from everything equals success.

live at home, dont live at home, who cares to be honest. as long as you are enjoying life or working towards getting to a place where you do enjoy it, then good on ya.

there was a movie with matthew mconahey (whoever you spell his last name) on this very topic. it was sort of a funny movie.

 

[tmpgstx]

If your over 25 and still living at home, get off your bum azz and get a job that will financially secure your own place.

There should be no excuses.

 

[Latinoman]

Yep, you're a loser if you still live with your parents at 31 and you're a loser if you think not having a career is ok. Wow, what a bunch of terrible people that are hurting the world around them. Lets all annihilate them, the such no-good people that they are.

You are overreacting.

What a generic mode of thinking (that you're a loser if you're 31 and still living with your parents). Shall I say maybe you've been conditioned by American society? I'm not saying that's the case with you, but if it is, then that IS WEAK. THAT'S loserish. I don't give a F*CK what ANYONE in their mother thinks of me. They can lick my F*CKING balls. A true man doesn't give a F*CK what anyone thinks of him, and most importantly doesn't conform to the bullsh*t mindless mode of thinking that others try to instill in him. Talk about empowering men, eh.

Get 3 or 4 roomates. Get 3 jobs. Get couple women. Join the arm forces. Do something!

A Man should be equiped and prepared to face obstacles. Especially a man that is over 30 years old. Going back to mom is not one of them.

I would say that a man that is over 30 (heck, over 25) and still living with his mom is a man that has NO BUSINESS dealing with women. He is in essense no ready to serve his function as a man in society.

Now...if he is cripple or bed ridden...that's different.

Of course, that's my opinion.

My cousins in Italy, as well as a friend of mine from Italy, were all living with their parents till they were in their mid 30's. Europe is a whole different ballgame as far as how they think regarding this topic. You're not deemed a "loser" for living at home with parents.

You know what...I'm well aware of the European culture on this issue as I have been in Europe.

That said... we also know what happened during the Second World War. We also know who folded during the War and who fought to the end. And we know what make the U.S. the land of enterpeneurs?

And the funny and ironic thing is that IMMIGRANTS from all over the World is what made this nation a powerful one. And many of them did that by LEAVING mom and papa back in the old land.

Personally, I think living on your own is the way to go, not because of some mindless "consensus" that "deems you're a loser if you're 31, still living at home", but because it's nice to have your own privacy, and also having the freedom to be able to bring a chick back to your place and bang her wherever you want in the house(other than your room); on the kitchen table, on the couch, etc., not having to worry about anyone being there. But if anyone wants to live with their parents, that's their perrogative, nothing wrong with it, who am I to condemn.

A consensus? LOL. Dude...it is MY opinion. If you are 30+ year old...living with mom and pop. You are a loser in MY book. And you have no business dating women, because you first focus should be to be INDEPENDENT and to have some control over your own life.

If you lack that control to the point that you still depend on your parents...then you are NOT a DJ. And if you are NOT a dj...you are something else. Maybe "loser" is a strong word. Certainly AFC is more than appropriate.