Post Ur ****Y/FUNNY!

[IDMeansNothing]

Would you consider this C&F? I'm not sure where this falls...

Girl I've started seeing is new in town. Tomorrow we're going to hook up for a coffee after work. She lives waaaay out of town, and doesn't know her way around town yet.


Me- You could come into town, or I could pick you up...
Her - Can you come here, then I could follow you?
Me - Sure. Where do you want to go?
Her - Anywhere.
Me - Sooo, you'd follow me anywhere . Cool!
Her - ***Laughs hard***

I thought it was pretty good for spur of the moment.

 

[SLIKKER_THAN_AVG]

I like that it is a good spur of the moment

I would have said in response:

Her: Anywhere

Me: Anywhere huh? A girl who will follow a guy to the ends of the earth..wow do i know how to pick them or what!

 

[duke007]

This one isn't that great but it obviously showed my popularity:

Me: Write down your number for me <name>
Her: Oh sure (excited), I never get people's numbers.
Me: My phone is overflowing with numbers, see look how big it is... (I suppose i have a 'vibrator' phone too)

These two were pushing the boundaries but they worked.

Her: (Mentioning how the IT industry is in decline - my major)
Me (while laughing): Hey, I'm the best damn guy in the whole course! I'll go straight to middle management!

And a wicked neg-hit:

Her: (waiting outside the tutorial room)
Me: Why are you waiting in the hall?
Her: It's smells like BO in there!
Me: (walks in room and sniffs)
Me: It smells better in here than it does out there (indicating she has the BO)
Her: (laughing) Hey!!

Oh and one more that this kid used on my sister. You know how exciteable girls like getting rock stars to sign parts of their body?

Guy: Do you want to be signed?
Her: No
Guy: (Acting surprised) Why ever not, it's by me!

Then if she agreed maybe you could add something like, "Your a lucky girl, that'll be priceless in a few years."

 

[thejuice]

"Me like" some of this stuff...

Heres one from a while back that i still remember

Situation...

I was at work and then theres a flash from outside. It was lightning w/o the sound. Then i caught a girl from the counter looking around to see where it came from. She didnt know it was lightning...so then i say

Me: Ladies, ladies! Not to be alarmed here. It was nothing...the flash was my smile. Just be careful not to stare

She looked at me and cracked up

Another one

Situation...

She had that shakira hair thing going. So i look at her and smile...

Me: Nice hair
Her: Thx
Me: Reminds me of shakira. So you just woke up or something?

 

[Elimidate]

I was at work and then theres a flash from outside. It was lightning w/o the sound. Then i caught a girl from the counter looking around to see where it came from. She didnt know it was lightning...so then i say

Me: Ladies, ladies! Not to be alarmed here. It was nothing...the flash was my smile. Just be careful not to stare

LOL, Nice one!

Elimidate

 

[WAY2COOL]

I was walking in to the lunch room from Subway with a footlong sandwhich in my hand and this girl says:
Girl: Hey you got a footlong huh?
Me: yeah, I got a sandwhich too!
Priceless

 

[WAY2COOL]

Also if your walking next to girl stare at her for a few seconds while she walks then say, Are you serious, do you really walk like that? Be careful though its all about the delievery.

 

[topdog3853]

Here's one from the other day

Standing outside with HB#1,
HB #2 Goes walking by us to get into her car. HB #2 gets into her car and is just sitting there for a couple minutes. As HB #1 and I are starting to walk back inside she says to me "why's that women just sitting there in her car?" I say "because she's sitting there checking me out, I would put any money on the fact that she drives away right as soon as I walk inside!"

HB#1 slaps me on the arm and grins and says "your so full of it"

 

[Santos]

I'm not too good at C + F, but I have a fairly good sense of humour. How are these?

"Nice haircut, you lose a bet?"

"Hey, I like your shirt, saw a homeless guy wearing one just like it."

Last one seems lame? Oh well...that's why I don't try C+F

 

[WAY2COOL]

Say theres two girls walking towards you wait till they get close and say: "Hey there she is, How ya doin?" Which ever one responds first look at her, shake your head and say "No not you, you" and then look at her friend.

 

[ReD MaFiA]

i dont know whether it qualifies as C+F but here it is:

me and my friends were buying beer at the grocery store:

HER: can i see some ID please?
ME:Sure,but if you wanna know my name so badly you coulda just asked.

 

[ilyadaimpaler]

Hot chick from work who can barely speak English told me in Russian that her friend (also hot) thinks I'm cute. I look over at my manager (who only speaks English) and say "She says she wants to ride me like a pony"

My manager cracked up and the girl tried to deny it by screaming in the funniest accent I've ever heard: "Nooo Anaaza Guil!!!!"

 

[ReD MaFiA]

Originally posted by ilyadaimpaler
Hot chick from work who can barely speak English told me in Russian that her friend (also hot) thinks I'm cute. I look over at my manager (who only speaks English) and say "She says she wants to ride me like a pony"

My manager cracked up and the girl tried to deny it by screaming in the funniest accent I've ever heard: "Nooo Anaaza Guil!!!!"

pizdetz...

 

[htemorp]

You know what? A true master of C&F can't remember his best C&F moves. I can't remember small things that I am so used to doing, small arguements I had with my family or C&F that I am so accustom of doing. It becomes so much part of you naturally, every move is a genius, it's like peeing or napping, do u remember every detail of those?

 

[Oxide]

wow. russkii. prikol.

Nooo Anaaza Guil!!!!" =what does that mean, i didnt get it

 

[ReD MaFiA]

Originally posted by Oxide
wow. russkii. prikol.

Nooo Anaaza Guil!!!!" =what does that mean, i didnt get it

i think it means "no,another girl"

 

[Kwah]

Yeah I dont speak russian. Or heavily accented english either.

 

[Ar7]

Originally posted by htemorp
You know what? A true master of C&F can't remember his best C&F moves. I can't remember small things that I am so used to doing, small arguements I had with my family or C&F that I am so accustom of doing. It becomes so much part of you naturally, every move is a genius, it's like peeing or napping, do u remember every detail of those?

HAHA so true

 

[Spikes]

Hmm, after reading this here goes:


I was on the phone with my girlfriend and she said "This one girl I work with looks like the female version of you. She reminds me a lot of you."

So I said, "Yeah, that is why you want to have lesbian sex with her more then any other woman you've ever seen."

Her response, "Yes, of course!" (jokingly of course)

What do you think?

 

[IDMeansNothing]

Originally posted by ReD MaFiA
pizdetz...

ya punimayu pa ruski ni ochin horosho,
(I don't speak russian very well,)

so what is pizdetz?

BTW,
I can say that I don't speak a particular language in about 5 languages (spanish russian french german dutch). I worked hard at getting the accent/pronuciation correct too. It's a great attention getter with the foreign girls. If the pronuciation is spot on, it leaves them wondering how well you really do speak their language.