Post Ur ****Y/FUNNY!

[rben69]

Hmm, let me think.

I've used alot at work when a hot chick comes through the checkout, and have got some good reactions, too bad I can't really ask them out when I'm working

ME: Hey, how about you work here and I can go home
HER: haha, I'll be right.
ME: But, you can wear this tie, it will look good on you, but not quite as good as it does on me.

Sometimes I ask if she has a job and say she should get one here, I say "You know the best thing about working here, you get to work with me" that usually gets a big smile and a laugh.

Once to a girl who works at another supermarket,
HER: You've just come to see me haven't you.
ME: Well, I know it makes your day when I come through.

That's all I can think of now.

-Ben

 

[calvran]

Me and a girl are observing a man in a big, lifted, black truck, and commenting about the diminutive size of his penis.

Me : "You know, I drive a pretty small truck. Guess what that says about me?"

 

[Bonhomme]

Good one, 2N Turbo

Gotta remember that one!

One that's golden for me is the following (the hotter the gal, the better it works): (G = gal, B = Bonhomme)

G: I've seen you around

B: That's one of the oldest pickup lines in the book.

 

[ryan killa]

Yes, htemorp, I agree, I can not think of more than 2 great c/f

thing's I've said, and I've had some damn good ones.

Just a question fellow Juans:

This may seem dumb, but: Do you ever have off days where you

can rarely pull off c/f, and others where you are just pulling off

c/f like it's your job? I have this sometimes, need to be more

consistent sometimes

 

[ryan killa]

LOL

rben69, I'm a cashier too! Man, I got to use a few of those. I'll be

thinking of you when I release a few of those

 

[numlock]

this thread is killer!! keep em coming

post neg hits too!

 

[thejuice]

htemorp, a c/f master does not only remember a few...

Some responses get used so often because the situations are very common sometimes. I dont need to post examples because im sure you know what these common situations are. Its like a computer program where you see something and that something triggers that c/f response

Of course, yes, there are those rarer situations where you dont have a response ready...and thats when your c/f ability really shows. If youre creative enough and have the balls...then you can be great at it

So to sum up what im saying, a c/f master should remember most of the responses to common situations but must be able to be creative and make some up when the situation requires it

 

[WatchMeWalk]

This one I did while talking to my ex oneitis who is dating an AFC boyfriend. I bought a concert ticket off her and she owed me some change.

Her: I owe you a dollar.
Me: You can buy me a beer.
Her: OK
Me: Better yet, get your BF to buy me a beer. That would be awesome.

She was floored with that.

 

[rben69]

Thanks Ryan Killa, have fun with them, glad I could help

Something else I remember, it's not really C&F, but its busting their balls, a cute chick come through with her dad and when he put in his pin number for his card she was looking and I was going "Watch out for her, shes trying to get your pin, don't give her your card, she will steal all your money" she liked that and was smiling heaps.

And another one, I wouldn't really recommend using this on a total stranger unless shes flirting tons or something...

I used it on a girl I was friends with at school and don't see much anymore and she loved it. I said to her "Hey, I hope you haven't stolen anything, do I have to frisk you?" She cracked up and smiled and now everytime I see her she says something about me frisking her. And last time I saw her she was asking how my gf was going (maybe wanting to know if im single, which I am now) and saying that I better not frisk her because my GF might get mad. A women who works me said "I think she has the hots for you".

Maybe, but I don't care that much.

-Ben

 

[Escalade]

Me and a girl were jokin around when she tries to be C&F

Her: I'm a gift from god to mankind.

Me: No, your more like the card that came with the gift.

 

[bludb0i]

this has to do community service for her school had to go find a place to do it for. I told
Her: I have to do community service for this school program. But i don't know where to sign up.
Me: you can come to my house clean my room and do my laundry and i'll sign you off.
Her: yea right (while giggling
Me: come on i will sign you for more hours than you done, any other place wont do that.

 

[Solja J]

Here is one that is not funny, but if the girl like you she'll probably laugh.

Say you're at a resturant and just before you leave you ask her if she has pen and paper. You respond telling her you're about to give the waiter/tress a tip!

 

[ceekay]

..got back in town after a meet and we're at the baggage claim

her: Are you gonna take me home?
me: Yea, I'll take you home. We can turn the lights down, put on some Jagged Edge and crack open that bottle of Moet I've been holding onto.

 

[isotope]

when you are at a place where you owe money, to a hot girl:

Her: "the price/cost comes to XX.XX$."

YOu: "Damn, thats a little expensive. Maybe you and I could work out a little arrangement to repay my debt..." [grin if you want to be subtle. Gesture at your crotch, if you want to be blatant.]

 

[SamePendo]

This isnt C&F..

I know, this isnt C&F, but it goes with the vibe...

her: (talking about something.. lets say she talks about school)
me: Yeah, I also cried when Bambi's mother was killed! It was sooo sad! Its probably the saddest scene in movie history. (this is said like it was part of the conversation, you say this appassionately, semi-sad, and serious).
And you nod, saying with your body "yeah, very very sad when she died" , and wait to see her reaction, dont make it clear that you were joking until she says or does something in response to what you said.

Oh and if you dont find it funny:
!!

 

[Miles Davis]

I don't think there is anything more fun than being ****y+funny/playful with chicks who can't speak much english

Two new spanish speaking girls came into work the other day, and I couldn't help myself to stop with the ****y funny. They were lovin' it.

Eventually...

Girl1: Do you have girlfriend?
Me: Si! Mucho mucho!
Girls: <both start laughing and saying something to each other in spanish>
Me: Do you have girlfriend? (lol)
Girl1: Noooo! <starts rubbing up against me>

They were talking about some girl they know named Margarita...
Me: Mmm. Margaritas. I bet she tastes good.
Girls: <laugh> So your girls, they bad girls?
Me: Yes but after uno, dos, tres margaritas..... MUY MAL SENORITAS!
Girls: <cracking up hysterically>


They wanted to go out for drinks this weekend with me. Maybe I can get a threesome

 

[Miles Davis]

Girl and I were at this carnival and playing skeeball (ahh reminds me of being a kid)

After we're done,
Me: That was a lot of fun, wasn't it? Now I am going to let you experience balls of a more sophisticated level.
Her: <smiles> Well I'm not sure if I'm ready for that
Me: Well, it don't get much more basic than mini-golf
Her: <floored, and that weird sound girls make when they get flustered before they start to punch you>


Part of being ****y+funny is gauging her response to alter your next one. The "Her" part in the Me: Her: Me: sequence is crucial to your success with this. What always works for me is to put in an outrageous spin on things so that, not only it's is C+F, but it's so out there to her that it will floor her, and make her think that you weren't thinking in sexual terms at all!! (but you were )

 

[meh]

I was on (Away) mode on MSN.. and some chick goes

Her: so why are u away?

me: so ppl like u dont message me
me: ill have to make a rule from now on
me: u can only message me if u want some form of sexual contact with moi
me: heh.. ill prolly get twice the amount of messages

 

[little_brown_bear]

how bout this?

she says i got a boyfriend.
then say that's great i got a girlfriend, if all works out we can get them together so they're both off our backs;-).

 

[GirlCrazy]

Here's one I like to use on my female friends in public places.

Her: *she says something*

Me: (really loud) No I won't have sex with you. Stop begging me, the answer is NO.

It's funny to watch all the heads turn and the friend usually turns beet red.