College!
I think everybody is apprehensive about college. Most people are
nervous, some people are downright terrified. I was excited. In my
graduating class of 750 I was the only one going to my school, which
is not small by any means. My room mate seemed cool and I was sure I
was going to have fun.
I got to my dorm early afternoon, met my room mate, and we rearranged
our room together until it was to our liking. At 4 o'clock I met
HBjoyful and her room mate, who I clicked with right away. HBjoyful
and I got along amazingly well - I sat next to her at dinner and we
talked the entire time, and she invited me to go to a party with her
and her roomie that night. On the way to the party she and I walked
alone, lost in conversation. I knew immediately upon meeting her that
I wanted to hook up with her, and as usual I set myself to the task.
After leaving the parties we returned to our dorms, and without much
difficulty I isolated HBjoyful in her room and locked the door. We
made out for a while and then went to bed. After only a few minutes of
hooking up (I like to think I'm that good) she really started to get
into it.
"Oh...wow...oh my god, matt, this is so bad."
"Why?"
"I just met you a few hours ago...and I just came in front of you. I
swear to god tomorrow I'm going to rape you."
well, swell. She offered to return the favor but I declined, citing
sleepyness. By now it was nearly 4 AM and I was freakin EXHAUSTED. We
fell asleep around five and I woke up at 7.
I don't know how many of you guys understand the picture perfect
scenario I was in. She'd made it clear to me throughout the evening
that she wants a care free, no-strings attached relationship. I
connected so amazingly well with her from the start. We both felt it.
I know we both decided a few minutes after meeting that we were going
to hook up, one way or the other.
We hooked up again a few hours ago, this afternoon, while sober. The
only problem is this.
She has had two serious boyfriend, both of whom attend this college.
One of them already hates me because he thought I was hitting on her
(we were just talking, at this point). the other one is our age and
she is still in an open relationshi pwith him. He flips out whenever
she has contact with guys and she's afraid that if he finds out about
our hooking up he'll kirk out. She's probably right, I met him and
he's a real nutjob. So is she, it turns out.
So we had an intense hook up last night and another one this afternoon
and nobody on the floor knows about it. Some guys suspect and
absolutely hate me for it, because they're fvcking AFCs and wish they
could get with her. That's just uncomfortable. For one thing, she
needs to take responsbility for her actions, and for another thing us
trying to keep it secret is a whole new level of complication that I
don't know if I'm willing to deal with.
Here is the real kicker.
I realized I'm in love with my girlfriend who I had to break up with
on tuesday. We broke up the day she left, and the day she left was the
day I realized I loved her. I don't know what to do. Can long distance
relationships work? Normally I'd say no, but my girlfriend,
HBAmazing, is the best thing to ever happen to me. I don't know what
her reaction would be if I suggested we stay together. I don't know if
I'll feel this way tomorrow - honestly, I hope I will. i called her
tonight and it was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I'll only see
her at the earliest at Thanksgiving, in 3 months. the next time I
could easily see her is June.
I guess I'm drunk and upset. I wanted to give you guys a great field
report of me living the dream but I got sidetracked. college, especially freshman year, is a time for us to all slut ourselves out and bang as many girls as possible. I am off to an amazing start. But what's the point if I can't get my mind off my now-ex-girlfriend everytime I'm with another girl?
I would love some
advice from the more experienced guys here...I'm at a complete loss
for what to do. I've been dating consistently now for almost a year,
never being truly single for more than two weeks briefly...is love
worth it? Should I take the leap and plunge into deep waters where
I've never been? I feel robbed - why did I date an amazing person for so long and only find love a day before she left me?
I don't know.
I think everybody is apprehensive about college. Most people are
nervous, some people are downright terrified. I was excited. In my
graduating class of 750 I was the only one going to my school, which
is not small by any means. My room mate seemed cool and I was sure I
was going to have fun.
I got to my dorm early afternoon, met my room mate, and we rearranged
our room together until it was to our liking. At 4 o'clock I met
HBjoyful and her room mate, who I clicked with right away. HBjoyful
and I got along amazingly well - I sat next to her at dinner and we
talked the entire time, and she invited me to go to a party with her
and her roomie that night. On the way to the party she and I walked
alone, lost in conversation. I knew immediately upon meeting her that
I wanted to hook up with her, and as usual I set myself to the task.
After leaving the parties we returned to our dorms, and without much
difficulty I isolated HBjoyful in her room and locked the door. We
made out for a while and then went to bed. After only a few minutes of
hooking up (I like to think I'm that good) she really started to get
into it.
"Oh...wow...oh my god, matt, this is so bad."
"Why?"
"I just met you a few hours ago...and I just came in front of you. I
swear to god tomorrow I'm going to rape you."
well, swell. She offered to return the favor but I declined, citing
sleepyness. By now it was nearly 4 AM and I was freakin EXHAUSTED. We
fell asleep around five and I woke up at 7.
I don't know how many of you guys understand the picture perfect
scenario I was in. She'd made it clear to me throughout the evening
that she wants a care free, no-strings attached relationship. I
connected so amazingly well with her from the start. We both felt it.
I know we both decided a few minutes after meeting that we were going
to hook up, one way or the other.
We hooked up again a few hours ago, this afternoon, while sober. The
only problem is this.
She has had two serious boyfriend, both of whom attend this college.
One of them already hates me because he thought I was hitting on her
(we were just talking, at this point). the other one is our age and
she is still in an open relationshi pwith him. He flips out whenever
she has contact with guys and she's afraid that if he finds out about
our hooking up he'll kirk out. She's probably right, I met him and
he's a real nutjob. So is she, it turns out.
So we had an intense hook up last night and another one this afternoon
and nobody on the floor knows about it. Some guys suspect and
absolutely hate me for it, because they're fvcking AFCs and wish they
could get with her. That's just uncomfortable. For one thing, she
needs to take responsbility for her actions, and for another thing us
trying to keep it secret is a whole new level of complication that I
don't know if I'm willing to deal with.
Here is the real kicker.
I realized I'm in love with my girlfriend who I had to break up with
on tuesday. We broke up the day she left, and the day she left was the
day I realized I loved her. I don't know what to do. Can long distance
relationships work? Normally I'd say no, but my girlfriend,
HBAmazing, is the best thing to ever happen to me. I don't know what
her reaction would be if I suggested we stay together. I don't know if
I'll feel this way tomorrow - honestly, I hope I will. i called her
tonight and it was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I'll only see
her at the earliest at Thanksgiving, in 3 months. the next time I
could easily see her is June.
I guess I'm drunk and upset. I wanted to give you guys a great field
report of me living the dream but I got sidetracked. college, especially freshman year, is a time for us to all slut ourselves out and bang as many girls as possible. I am off to an amazing start. But what's the point if I can't get my mind off my now-ex-girlfriend everytime I'm with another girl?
I would love some
advice from the more experienced guys here...I'm at a complete loss
for what to do. I've been dating consistently now for almost a year,
never being truly single for more than two weeks briefly...is love
worth it? Should I take the leap and plunge into deep waters where
I've never been? I feel robbed - why did I date an amazing person for so long and only find love a day before she left me?
I don't know.