I realize I'm appearing defensive here, so I apologize in advance - it's not my goal. I'm just going for full clarity... and I understand your perspective, though I'm honestly unlikely to be convinced to just walk away now.
Little things that leave me with optimism are how she acted the last time we saw each other. When we came down to talking about it, and she seemed set on holding to her decision, I didn't push - just stayed open and honest - I said "it's been a great time, I've enjoyed being around you, you're a great girl". And she was tearing up and telling me "please don't say that, as that seems so final and I don't want to think I won't see you again." I said "hey, we talked about that a bit then - we'll stick with what you said earlier. I'll see how I feel after a few months, and if my thoughts haven't changed, I'll get in touch" (and this was what she had indeed brought up earlier in the conversation). Her relief was visible and she hugged me extremely tight, I pulled her in for a kiss, she said "Thank you, that makes me feel so much better about this."
There was no misreading how she was - she was depressed considering any of this, and wants me to get in touch with her - her relief was very evident when I said I would get in touch again if I think it's a good fit. It's odd in that she's still set on her decision, I believe that part of it is her not wanting to go back on her decision so quickly (after a week), and she mentioned that at one point... that it wouldn't feel right to go back on it so quickly, and she thinks I'd lose respect for her. Especially when put into context, I was much calmer and showed little emotion through both interactions, just calmly expressed my opinions, while she was very emotional.
Anyways: just trying to clarify how that is. I've met her friends, and got along very well with them, my wing was also there and they thought he was a blast, great funny guy. He's also 32, so in their age range.
... But after saying all that, I'll take your words into consideration here. I, just straight up being honest, don't want to just walk away at this moment, as I don't see it as a done possibility, but that does not mean I should avoid considering it. The point of her parents is a very good note. She is a very conservative girl in general, though she has liberal tendencies in economic terms. Tolerant, but conservative, she's friends with atheists/agnostics without criticism.
As it is, my plan is not to put any focus on her - I'm meeting other girls, I'm focusing on school, focusing on work, setting up my business plans for when I graduate, spending time with friends (most of my friends are 30+... which has weighed in my favor with L), and in a month's time I'll re-approach - taking note to guard my feelings in the situation of it going poorly. And if I end up hurt... so be it. Sometimes a person has to learn lessons the hard way, and I'm accepting that possibility now. I've been hurt before, I can take the pain, especially as I know that I'm not going to be worse off if it goes poorly (be a bummer, but life's not all fun and games). I'll just get back in the game, better than before.
theres always hope as long as you're not from the shallow end of the gene pool.
