Please, i need help overcoming this very powerful mental barrier

[mylastbreath]

I have major mental barriers concerning women and I need people with experience (doesn't matter how old you are) to help me get passed them. Please don't criticize or ridicule me. What I'm about to write is deeply personal and affects my overall happiness in life. It may sound stupid and you may wonder why this stuff bothers me. But it bothers me and I will never be able to love women and accept who they are and what they've done and enjoy them when they're with me.

This is a long read, and I'll really appreciate decent responses. Please feel free to respond to my entire post, or pick apart certain pieces you feel most qualified to talk about. I have to be graphic because that's what goes on in my head.

Basically, whenever I become interested in a female, the following thought processes begin to emerge in my mind. As time progresses, I become bitter and sabotage my success with the female by becoming needy, jealous, or mean.

I hate thinking about a female's sex life, but I always do. When a girl mentions an ex or current boyfriend, I first feel myself getting angry and then depressed. I imagine all the sex she's getting. I think about her ****ing in different positions, allowing her BF to *** in her mouth or on her face. When I first see a pretty girl, I think about my approach and how I should proceed to get a date. But always, these vile thoughts creep into my mind. She's pretty and pretty girls don't sit around without having some type of relationship with a man. Sometimes, I don't even approach and I may have a thought like "she probably got ****ed real good last night, so why would she even want to hear what I say this morning?". Or if I do approach, go out on a date, I think of something like "well, we just started dating and we're not having sex so I know she's getting it somewhere else".

I also compare the number of times I've had sex and imagine the number of times a girl I want to date have had sex. See, I never been in a LTR. I've slept with 30 to 40 girls but only had sex with each of them once or twice. A girl my age (mid-20's) most likely had sex at least 1000 times which includes long-term relationships, one night stands, and f*ck buddy arrangements. I hate the fact that almost every girl I will ever be with has had sex more times than me. Even if I date the youngest girl by law, she probably did it more than me. I'm not even including blowj*bs and handj*bs girls give out.

Sometimes these thoughts are so strong, the instant I see an attractive women, I start thinking about these things. I absolutely hated one job because this really attractive female was talking to co-workers about how she wanted a baby and her husband modified his work schedule so they could f*ck more. She didn't say that, but everyone knew why the husband changed his hours. So, I'm sitting there thinking about her leaving work with that nice ass of hers to go home to her husband. They'll eat dinner, then he'll f*ck her and c*m inside her while she holds her pelvis up so nothing will come out. Then they rest and do it again. Meanwhile, the following day she comes back into work looking sexy as ever with fresh c*m in her vagina probably from a 'before work' f*ck. And I have to sit across from her knowing she ****ed and moaned only hours before and I'll never be the one giving it to her. I remember after hearing her having the conversation about trying to become pregnant, I was mean to her the rest of my time there.

I hate how pretty college girls can study so hard but still make time to f*ck like rabbits with their boyfriend. Meanwhile, their main excuse given to a guy they don't like is "All I do is study and sleep. I don't even go out anymore". I don't care what statistics say, but I think 90% of college girls f*ck at least once per day.

There's one thing I never understood and it's the reason why I get bitter, needy, or jealous when dealing a female. When a female has a boyfriend for a long period of time and they had sex hundreds of times, in dozens of places, all the while he's putting his seed in her pu55y or she fully submits to him by swallowing his c*m...how can she really get over him? It's very common for girls to **** their exes even while in new relationships. The problem is almost every attractive girl has been in at least one LTR and been porked a million ways by her ex-bf and done all kind of nasties with him. That just doesn't disappear when she meets a new guy. Deep down inside, I don't want a girl unless I'm her first lover or the first man she has sex with on a long-term consistent basis. Any other circumstance, I feel second best. But I know dating and meeting women is incredibly hard and meeting a girl who doesn't have a extensive sexual history is very rare.

I know all of the above is the reason why I don't keep a smile on my face. It's the reason why girls aren't attracted to me because they can feel my dislike for them. Every time I'm around attractive females, instead of just enjoying their sexuality and beauty, I'm agonizing over how much sex they get . I'm thinking about them ****ing their BF or **** buddy and I tell myself she's already satisfied. She's not looking for more d*ck. And then I see hot high school girls knowing they probably getting it more than me.

Anyway, I know that I'm obsessed with females and their sexual doings. I think this obsession started when I found out girls (and not just porn stars) really do freaky stuff and love wild sex. Another reason why I'm obsessed because I never had a girl so into me that whereas ****ed me. I had sex, but the girls didn't find me hot that they wanted more and more. I fuc*ing hate that. Will I ever make a female so hot that she wants to **** me, or will I never be that kind of man?

I know that most men don't care (or don't let it bother them) about a woman's sexual history. And some guys even love to hear about a woman's previous sex life and the freaky things they did. I don't want to go to that extreme, but I just want to not care anymore. I want to focus on the fact that I'm ****ing her now and I don't care how many times her ex shot his load in her or on her.

Can I get to this level of not caring? Anybody else felt the same way as I do (maybe not to this extreme)?

Do you think an HB7+ ever goes more than a week without sex? A month? Would you be willing to bet a billion dollars that the HB7+ sitting on the train got ****ed within the past 72 hours? There's definitely a difference between a good looking guy getting laid and a female getting laid. A guy could be good looking and go years without sex. I doubt any pretty female has gone years without sex.

 

[YAboi]

stop basing your happiness on women, stop basing your happiness on women, stop basing your happiness on women

Not all women are getting fuked round the clock, Not all women are getting fuked round the clock, Not all women are getting fuked round the clock


Accept the way things are and play to win, Accept the way things are and play to win, Accept the way things are and play to win

Stop comparing yourself to others (in this case womens lay counts), Stop comparing yourself to others (in this case womens lay counts), Stop comparing yourself to others (in this case womens lay counts)

Some of these chiks are livin their lives and doin other stuff apart from sex you shud be too, Some of these chiks are livin their lives and doin other stuff apart from sex you shud be too, Some of these chiks are livin their lives and doin other stuff apart from sex you shud be too


Some guys have never touched a tit while you have fuked 30-40 women,
Some guys have never touched a tit while you have fuked 30-40 women,
Some guys have never touched a tit while you have fuked 30-40 women


Your expectations are just unrealistic,Your expectations are just unrealistic,Your expectations are just unrealistic

You are too obsessed with the poon relax, You are too obsessed with the poon relax, You are too obsessed with the poon relax


You shud just accept that times change and now women are excercising their sexual options and you shud just look to get what you can from them while looking out for yourself and learning to be less judgemental.

This is an issue that a shrink cud help you out with cos it seems like there is a deeper meaning or significance as regards to your feelings about chiks and your expectations. Seems like you might feel out of control of your life and want to micromanage every single detail of your life and the way the world unfolds in front of you.

Well bro, guess what? you can never control the world but you can control yourself. My advice, chill out and probably get some help from a shrink cos you seem like a control freak and are bordering on sociopathy.

 

[underoath777]

Pick up "Sex God Method" by Daniel Rose.

My personal opinion is that if those 30-40 girls you fvcked came back for more, you'd be confident and not have the feelings you are feeling.

You are insecure with your sexual performance.

Now that we've extablished this, get that book, and actually, there is a thread here with advanced sexual techniques.

Once you learn some new schit, you'll feel more confident, and when you fvck the next girl and have her come back for more, then you will get rid of most of these feelings, I'm sure.

 

[Phat]

Theres nothing wrong with your way of thinking, you just see things the way they really are. Why dont you try to destroy these girls relationships, or talk to these girls and see what you can get from them. You make this sound more complicated than it is, just stop giving a fuuck and worry about your self.

 

[mylastbreath]

For the guy that mentioned seeing a shrink...I can never do that. Unless there's a true problem with my brain that only meds could keep under control, I know that this is something I can fix on my own.

The foundation of my insecurity with females and sex is that a woman receives and a man gives. A man doesn't take anything after having sex with a woman, but a female literally receives a part of that man. I'm trying very hard to ignore who a woman has been with, but if I'm seeing a girl...it's hard for me not think or care about who she gave herself to in the past.

 

[YAboi]

For the guy that mentioned seeing a shrink...I can never do that. Unless there's a true problem with my brain that only meds could keep under control, I know that this is something I can fix on my own.

The foundation of my insecurity with females and sex is that a woman receives and a man gives. A man doesn't take anything after having sex with a woman, but a female literally receives a part of that man. I'm trying very hard to ignore who a woman has been with, but if I'm seeing a girl...it's hard for me not think or care about who she gave herself to in the past.

A shrink will not give you meds for this but could help identify the underlying problem and also the fact that you paid to see one would actually motivate you to see this through(this being fixing your problem)

What you need to realise is that the mind and thoughts are the most powerful tools a human being has because they control every human function we have.

Its simply your thought patterns man, so if you say you want to fix this on your own, I would advise you to listen to the advice being given to you in this thread and realise the faulty thinking that is causing you pain ( and no you don't necessarily have to visit a shrink, but do realise that its your thoughts that are the main culprit of the way you feel but they are being triggered by an external event). Seriously man, you are a posessive control freak, that is all (no offense intended but the truth can be abraisive at times). Think outside the box, you have fuked lots of chiks and girls fuk lots of guys so don't label and hate them because they find it easier ......

Learn how to block out those thoughts you are having

 

[Johnny_Kage]

Stop thinking so much and get a hobby. Girls have sex. It happens.

JK

 

[mylastbreath]

stop basing your happiness on women, stop basing your happiness on women, stop basing your happiness on women

Not all women are getting fuked round the clock, Not all women are getting fuked round the clock, Not all women are getting fuked round the clock


Accept the way things are and play to win, Accept the way things are and play to win, Accept the way things are and play to win

Stop comparing yourself to others (in this case womens lay counts), Stop comparing yourself to others (in this case womens lay counts), Stop comparing yourself to others (in this case womens lay counts)

Some of these chiks are livin their lives and doin other stuff apart from sex you shud be too, Some of these chiks are livin their lives and doin other stuff apart from sex you shud be too, Some of these chiks are livin their lives and doin other stuff apart from sex you shud be too


Some guys have never touched a tit while you have fuked 30-40 women,
Some guys have never touched a tit while you have fuked 30-40 women,
Some guys have never touched a tit while you have fuked 30-40 women


Your expectations are just unrealistic,Your expectations are just unrealistic,Your expectations are just unrealistic

You are too obsessed with the poon relax, You are too obsessed with the poon relax, You are too obsessed with the poon relax


You shud just accept that times change and now women are excercising their sexual options and you shud just look to get what you can from them while looking out for yourself and learning to be less judgemental.

This is an issue that a shrink cud help you out with cos it seems like there is a deeper meaning or significance as regards to your feelings about chiks and your expectations. Seems like you might feel out of control of your life and want to micromanage every single detail of your life and the way the world unfolds in front of you.

Well bro, guess what? you can never control the world but you can control yourself. My advice, chill out and probably get some help from a shrink cos you seem like a control freak and are bordering on sociopathy.

I feel very inadequate when I'm in bed with a woman that's done the deed hundreds or thousands of times. And that's gonna be almost every female I sleep with. Which means I will be feeling inadequate all the time unless I get a grip on these feelings.

It's really hard not to base your happiness on women especially when all other aspects of your life is going right.

 

[mylastbreath]

Stop thinking so much and get a hobby. Girls have sex. It happens.

JK

Getting a hobby won't fix anything. In my opinion, that will be ignoring the problem or putting a band-aid over it.

I'm sure that every man has felt similar to how I'm feeling. But most men can enjoy a woman despite who, where, and how she ****ed in the past. I want to be this way. I want to go out to social situations and just enjoy women and not think about sexually liberated and wild they are.

 

[YAboi]

Getting a hobby won't fix anything. In my opinion, that will be ignoring the problem or putting a band-aid over it.

I'm sure that every man has felt similar to how I'm feeling. But most men can enjoy a woman despite who, where, and how she ****ed in the past. I want to be this way. I want to go out to social situations and just enjoy women and not think about sexually liberated and wild they are.

Then its as simple as thinking in exactly the way you mentioned that other guys do in this quoted post


Thats the point, just think to yourself about how much better the sex will be because she is experienced and if you feel inadequate compared to them, just see it as being a learning experience for you when you bang them. Don't get pissed off cos they F more easier than you , why not just laugh at them and talk to yourself about how you will tame the wild girl in bed.

I think the problem is that you feel like these girls should be having equal amount of sex that you are having and not more but as we know the world isnt fair and so just accept it and focus on how you can get as much enjoyment for yourself as possible ( as i have already mentioned in the thread).

Oh one more thing, THINK ABOUT THIS; WOULD YOU BE AS PISSED OFF IF IT WAS YOU THAT WAS HAVIN ALL THE SEX AND THE GIRLS WERE THE ONES FRUSTRATED? THE ANSWER IS NO

There my friend is where your problem lies, you want all the power, hence why I call you a control freak.

Learn to laugh at bad situations ( just laugh in your head and say,''lol, these damn hos F around so much, I will just bang them and look for new ones'' OR better still look for girls who you think don't F around so much and seduce those ones.

 

[mylastbreath]

And I should read the "Sex God" book because I'm probably not rocking a chick's world enough for her to become attached to me?

 

[mylastbreath]

I downloaded that book skimmed through it, and I already know what my problem is...

I'm "The Perpetual Lovemaker"

*Intelligent and level-headed
*Doesn't take many risks
*Ask for permission during sex
*Not a bad boy

So I made sure not to be a nice guy in all other parts of my life, but I'm a ****ing nice guy in the bedroom. Thinking about my sexual past, I feel like a dumb beta male. When I get a girl in the bedroom, I should dominate her (not Ted Bundy dominate) and have my way with her. Let her see I'm a powerful man.

It's funny...this may be my problem and why I feel a certain way to females. Since I'm Mr. Nice in the bedroom and afraid to *** in a chicks mouth or get really dirty with her, when I think about guys doing it to her and she loves it makes her seem dirty in my mind.

It's all coming together more quickly than I expected.

I always been told porn isn't real life. Women really don't like that stuff. Of course, quadruple gang bang isn't the norm for females...but females do want a man to take complete control of her and treat her like a dirty little wh*re. Since I "made love" and never ****ed a girl, I get pissed when she doesn't return for more. Then I get depressed when I think about chicks having all kinds of sex and loving.

Even though I'm confident...I'm not dominate. I don't like to dominate people (men or women). But now I see in all aspects of interacting with a woman, she wants domination. I need to not give a **** what she thinks if I tell her I think she's hot and I want her to be with me...and I need to **** her like crazy in the bedroom and not wonder if this position is okay or am I going to hard/fast (yes, I thought this stuff).

So that's why I get jealous and hate-filled when women talk about their past relationships or sex acts. Because I never did those things and women didn't want a return visit.

 

[2crudedudes]

I was dating a chick who's 5 years older than me. She was married, and she is a mother. She's had more partners than me. I'm your typical AFC (with the main exception that I'm changing that, as we speak), so my sexual past isn't too diversified.

Thoughts like this came across my mind. ALL. THE F*CKING. TIME. Its insecurity. Its the feeling of being inadequate.

The problem is that you're thinking from her experience, not yours. Every time I thought about some dumb sh*t that may or may have not done with one of the other guys she was with, I completely forgot about what I did with other chicks. In my mind, she was "ahead" of me, and I felt like I could never get passed that.

That relationship is over now, but those thoughts still linger, because I still have feelings for her. But it doesn't even matter now. She's gone. So with that, all those feelings of inadequacy have to go away too.

I will meet girls. And they will have had sex. But then again, so have I. Remember YOUR past conquests, not hers. You're thinking too much. As am I. I feel for you, because I see myself in your position. But its not healthy.

Its not healthy man. Don't think about it.

 

[mylastbreath]

I was dating a chick who's 5 years older than me. She was married, and she is a mother. She's had more partners than me. I'm your typical AFC (with the main exception that I'm changing that, as we speak), so my sexual past isn't too diversified.

Thoughts like this came across my mind. ALL. THE F*CKING. TIME. Its insecurity. Its the feeling of being inadequate.

The problem is that you're thinking from her experience, not yours. Every time I thought about some dumb sh*t that may or may have not done with one of the other guys she was with, I completely forgot about what I did with other chicks. In my mind, she was "ahead" of me, and I felt like I could never get passed that.

That relationship is over now, but those thoughts still linger, because I still have feelings for her. But it doesn't even matter now. She's gone. So with that, all those feelings of inadequacy have to go away too.

I will meet girls. And they will have had sex. But then again, so have I. Remember YOUR past conquests, not hers. You're thinking too much. As am I. I feel for you, because I see myself in your position. But its not healthy.

Its not healthy man. Don't think about it.

So just think about what I've done?

 

[SchoolBoy]

You need to understand the world is the way it is. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

It seems that you still have a mind of a child. Angry that the world doesn't fit the way you see fit.

Women will indeed have multiple sex partners, and may have sex well over a couple thousand times before getting married.

It's either you accept it like a man, or cry about it like a child.

I'm not judging you, I'm telling you like it is.

I think you're brave for being so honest, and that's the first step to re-framing yourself. You realize there's a problem and you're willing to fix it.

Think using your logical brain; does it really matter how many times a guy fvcked a chick? Does it in anyways change things? No it doesn't..

It's all in your mind. You have some twisted psychological beliefs that must be re-framed before you even begin this DJ stuff.

The problems you have most likely stem from past trauma. It's not something that you're going to be able to solve by reading a book or getting a new hobby.

You have to change yourself as a whole. You're way of thinking; you're psychological beliefs. Because right now, you're core beliefs is your own enemy.

I can tell you from experience, you can't control others, but you can control yourself, and that's what really matters.