mylastbreath
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2010
- Messages
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I have major mental barriers concerning women and I need people with experience (doesn't matter how old you are) to help me get passed them. Please don't criticize or ridicule me. What I'm about to write is deeply personal and affects my overall happiness in life. It may sound stupid and you may wonder why this stuff bothers me. But it bothers me and I will never be able to love women and accept who they are and what they've done and enjoy them when they're with me.
This is a long read, and I'll really appreciate decent responses. Please feel free to respond to my entire post, or pick apart certain pieces you feel most qualified to talk about. I have to be graphic because that's what goes on in my head.
Basically, whenever I become interested in a female, the following thought processes begin to emerge in my mind. As time progresses, I become bitter and sabotage my success with the female by becoming needy, jealous, or mean.
I hate thinking about a female's sex life, but I always do. When a girl mentions an ex or current boyfriend, I first feel myself getting angry and then depressed. I imagine all the sex she's getting. I think about her ****ing in different positions, allowing her BF to *** in her mouth or on her face. When I first see a pretty girl, I think about my approach and how I should proceed to get a date. But always, these vile thoughts creep into my mind. She's pretty and pretty girls don't sit around without having some type of relationship with a man. Sometimes, I don't even approach and I may have a thought like "she probably got ****ed real good last night, so why would she even want to hear what I say this morning?". Or if I do approach, go out on a date, I think of something like "well, we just started dating and we're not having sex so I know she's getting it somewhere else".
I also compare the number of times I've had sex and imagine the number of times a girl I want to date have had sex. See, I never been in a LTR. I've slept with 30 to 40 girls but only had sex with each of them once or twice. A girl my age (mid-20's) most likely had sex at least 1000 times which includes long-term relationships, one night stands, and f*ck buddy arrangements. I hate the fact that almost every girl I will ever be with has had sex more times than me. Even if I date the youngest girl by law, she probably did it more than me. I'm not even including blowj*bs and handj*bs girls give out.
Sometimes these thoughts are so strong, the instant I see an attractive women, I start thinking about these things. I absolutely hated one job because this really attractive female was talking to co-workers about how she wanted a baby and her husband modified his work schedule so they could f*ck more. She didn't say that, but everyone knew why the husband changed his hours. So, I'm sitting there thinking about her leaving work with that nice ass of hers to go home to her husband. They'll eat dinner, then he'll f*ck her and c*m inside her while she holds her pelvis up so nothing will come out. Then they rest and do it again. Meanwhile, the following day she comes back into work looking sexy as ever with fresh c*m in her vagina probably from a 'before work' f*ck. And I have to sit across from her knowing she ****ed and moaned only hours before and I'll never be the one giving it to her. I remember after hearing her having the conversation about trying to become pregnant, I was mean to her the rest of my time there.
I hate how pretty college girls can study so hard but still make time to f*ck like rabbits with their boyfriend. Meanwhile, their main excuse given to a guy they don't like is "All I do is study and sleep. I don't even go out anymore". I don't care what statistics say, but I think 90% of college girls f*ck at least once per day.
There's one thing I never understood and it's the reason why I get bitter, needy, or jealous when dealing a female. When a female has a boyfriend for a long period of time and they had sex hundreds of times, in dozens of places, all the while he's putting his seed in her pu55y or she fully submits to him by swallowing his c*m...how can she really get over him? It's very common for girls to **** their exes even while in new relationships. The problem is almost every attractive girl has been in at least one LTR and been porked a million ways by her ex-bf and done all kind of nasties with him. That just doesn't disappear when she meets a new guy. Deep down inside, I don't want a girl unless I'm her first lover or the first man she has sex with on a long-term consistent basis. Any other circumstance, I feel second best. But I know dating and meeting women is incredibly hard and meeting a girl who doesn't have a extensive sexual history is very rare.
I know all of the above is the reason why I don't keep a smile on my face. It's the reason why girls aren't attracted to me because they can feel my dislike for them. Every time I'm around attractive females, instead of just enjoying their sexuality and beauty, I'm agonizing over how much sex they get . I'm thinking about them ****ing their BF or **** buddy and I tell myself she's already satisfied. She's not looking for more d*ck. And then I see hot high school girls knowing they probably getting it more than me.
Anyway, I know that I'm obsessed with females and their sexual doings. I think this obsession started when I found out girls (and not just porn stars) really do freaky stuff and love wild sex. Another reason why I'm obsessed because I never had a girl so into me that whereas ****ed me. I had sex, but the girls didn't find me hot that they wanted more and more. I fuc*ing hate that. Will I ever make a female so hot that she wants to **** me, or will I never be that kind of man?
I know that most men don't care (or don't let it bother them) about a woman's sexual history. And some guys even love to hear about a woman's previous sex life and the freaky things they did. I don't want to go to that extreme, but I just want to not care anymore. I want to focus on the fact that I'm ****ing her now and I don't care how many times her ex shot his load in her or on her.
Can I get to this level of not caring? Anybody else felt the same way as I do (maybe not to this extreme)?
Do you think an HB7+ ever goes more than a week without sex? A month? Would you be willing to bet a billion dollars that the HB7+ sitting on the train got ****ed within the past 72 hours? There's definitely a difference between a good looking guy getting laid and a female getting laid. A guy could be good looking and go years without sex. I doubt any pretty female has gone years without sex.
This is a long read, and I'll really appreciate decent responses. Please feel free to respond to my entire post, or pick apart certain pieces you feel most qualified to talk about. I have to be graphic because that's what goes on in my head.
Basically, whenever I become interested in a female, the following thought processes begin to emerge in my mind. As time progresses, I become bitter and sabotage my success with the female by becoming needy, jealous, or mean.
I hate thinking about a female's sex life, but I always do. When a girl mentions an ex or current boyfriend, I first feel myself getting angry and then depressed. I imagine all the sex she's getting. I think about her ****ing in different positions, allowing her BF to *** in her mouth or on her face. When I first see a pretty girl, I think about my approach and how I should proceed to get a date. But always, these vile thoughts creep into my mind. She's pretty and pretty girls don't sit around without having some type of relationship with a man. Sometimes, I don't even approach and I may have a thought like "she probably got ****ed real good last night, so why would she even want to hear what I say this morning?". Or if I do approach, go out on a date, I think of something like "well, we just started dating and we're not having sex so I know she's getting it somewhere else".
I also compare the number of times I've had sex and imagine the number of times a girl I want to date have had sex. See, I never been in a LTR. I've slept with 30 to 40 girls but only had sex with each of them once or twice. A girl my age (mid-20's) most likely had sex at least 1000 times which includes long-term relationships, one night stands, and f*ck buddy arrangements. I hate the fact that almost every girl I will ever be with has had sex more times than me. Even if I date the youngest girl by law, she probably did it more than me. I'm not even including blowj*bs and handj*bs girls give out.
Sometimes these thoughts are so strong, the instant I see an attractive women, I start thinking about these things. I absolutely hated one job because this really attractive female was talking to co-workers about how she wanted a baby and her husband modified his work schedule so they could f*ck more. She didn't say that, but everyone knew why the husband changed his hours. So, I'm sitting there thinking about her leaving work with that nice ass of hers to go home to her husband. They'll eat dinner, then he'll f*ck her and c*m inside her while she holds her pelvis up so nothing will come out. Then they rest and do it again. Meanwhile, the following day she comes back into work looking sexy as ever with fresh c*m in her vagina probably from a 'before work' f*ck. And I have to sit across from her knowing she ****ed and moaned only hours before and I'll never be the one giving it to her. I remember after hearing her having the conversation about trying to become pregnant, I was mean to her the rest of my time there.
I hate how pretty college girls can study so hard but still make time to f*ck like rabbits with their boyfriend. Meanwhile, their main excuse given to a guy they don't like is "All I do is study and sleep. I don't even go out anymore". I don't care what statistics say, but I think 90% of college girls f*ck at least once per day.
There's one thing I never understood and it's the reason why I get bitter, needy, or jealous when dealing a female. When a female has a boyfriend for a long period of time and they had sex hundreds of times, in dozens of places, all the while he's putting his seed in her pu55y or she fully submits to him by swallowing his c*m...how can she really get over him? It's very common for girls to **** their exes even while in new relationships. The problem is almost every attractive girl has been in at least one LTR and been porked a million ways by her ex-bf and done all kind of nasties with him. That just doesn't disappear when she meets a new guy. Deep down inside, I don't want a girl unless I'm her first lover or the first man she has sex with on a long-term consistent basis. Any other circumstance, I feel second best. But I know dating and meeting women is incredibly hard and meeting a girl who doesn't have a extensive sexual history is very rare.
I know all of the above is the reason why I don't keep a smile on my face. It's the reason why girls aren't attracted to me because they can feel my dislike for them. Every time I'm around attractive females, instead of just enjoying their sexuality and beauty, I'm agonizing over how much sex they get . I'm thinking about them ****ing their BF or **** buddy and I tell myself she's already satisfied. She's not looking for more d*ck. And then I see hot high school girls knowing they probably getting it more than me.
Anyway, I know that I'm obsessed with females and their sexual doings. I think this obsession started when I found out girls (and not just porn stars) really do freaky stuff and love wild sex. Another reason why I'm obsessed because I never had a girl so into me that whereas ****ed me. I had sex, but the girls didn't find me hot that they wanted more and more. I fuc*ing hate that. Will I ever make a female so hot that she wants to **** me, or will I never be that kind of man?
I know that most men don't care (or don't let it bother them) about a woman's sexual history. And some guys even love to hear about a woman's previous sex life and the freaky things they did. I don't want to go to that extreme, but I just want to not care anymore. I want to focus on the fact that I'm ****ing her now and I don't care how many times her ex shot his load in her or on her.
Can I get to this level of not caring? Anybody else felt the same way as I do (maybe not to this extreme)?
Do you think an HB7+ ever goes more than a week without sex? A month? Would you be willing to bet a billion dollars that the HB7+ sitting on the train got ****ed within the past 72 hours? There's definitely a difference between a good looking guy getting laid and a female getting laid. A guy could be good looking and go years without sex. I doubt any pretty female has gone years without sex.