Please Help LONG

[FancyPants]

Originally posted by bp1974
I read maybe the first few hundred words. Once I read this, I knew you were being played by a c*cktease:

She is giving you the hook ('I am head over heels about you') to keep you interested, and at the same time she is making sure you know you're place and never do anything more than give her the attention she enjoys ('I know its tough with you being
single and me having a boyfriend but nothing can happen').

This is an immature party girl who loves unthreatening attention from as many guys as possible, and you are just the type of confused, shy Nice Guy to get completely caught up and give her exactly what she wants.

Until you get a clue and firmly walk away, there is nothing anyone can do for you.

Ok I can understand this. However later she changed her tune and siad that if we was ever alone and something got started between us she would not put an end to it. Wether this changes anything or not , I don't know. BTW Thanks for explaining your thoughts instead of just saying she is a ****tease and leaving it at that like the people who only want to raise there post count. Also thanks to Trance to.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Do a search on "attention wh0re" and you will start to understand what has been happening.

But what this girl has done to you has gone way beyond attention wh0ring.

It would be impossible to explain to you what has happened here since you understand women so little.

Do the attention wh0re search. Read some more from the bible. But these chicks, Diane and Julie, are the worst kind of women there are. Avoid these two at all costs in the future.

Since you are so succeptible to this type, you must avoid all women like this in the future as well (once you figure out what happened and begin to recognise these kind of girls in the future.)

 

[FancyPants]

Originally posted by JustDoItAlways
Do a search on "attention wh0re" and you will start to understand what has been happening.

But what this girl has done to you has gone way beyond attention wh0ring.

It would be impossible to explain to you what has happened here since you understand women so little.

Do the attention wh0re search. Read some more from the bible. But these chicks, Diane and Julie, are the worst kind of women there are. Avoid these two at all costs in the future.

Since you are so succeptible to this type, you must avoid all women like this in the future as well (once you figure out what happened and begin to recognise these kind of girls in the future.)

I have read many things on this site including attention wh0res. Because it crossed my mind and I was told

It actually does NOT sound like he was played... She would not have used THAT much work for just some selfesteem over some "random" guy.

if a girl is mimicking/mirroring your sayings and behavior she is obviously thinking about u - i dont know wgere u r getting the attention ho business from - unless u see her trying to play others

You tried to bust on her twice and she rejected you? She may not be an attention *****, but confused. She is not sure wether she wants to be with her boyfriend since she sorta likes you. I would withdraw, you cant afford to keep showing interest, or try and bust on her azz once more, seriously if you do, she will know she has yoiu in the bag and she will loose interest.

From what you've posted, I don't think she is an attention wh0re. The behaviour you described in your first post didn't suggest it. Plus she would need to be flirting with other guys for that, and you say she isn't. think she is attracted to you, and likes your attention/company, but nothing is happening due to the BF.

 

[wolfie]

I sincerely hope you aren't going to this site just so you can get with Diane.

 

[DankNuggs]

Originally posted by FancyPants
.....
I was thinking how in the world does she remeber such details from so long ago...

Best quote of the post....Obviously you see how far your reaching to prove to yourself that she likes you....She has a boring relationship, a daughter, her life is now to be lived for other people, you give her some drama and a playtoy.....


RUN, RUN like the wind....

 

[FancyPants]

Originally posted by DankNuggs
Best quote of the post....Obviously you see how far your reaching to prove to yourself that she likes you....She has a boring relationship, a daughter, her life is now to be lived for other people, you give her some drama and a playtoy.....


RUN, RUN like the wind....

I don't get this! I have read HERE before that a woman remembering little things such as this is a good sign. "if she is into you she will remember little things about you, it shows she is paying attention to you." etc etc. This also reminds me of another post I read about Kino. The person said things about Kino. Then the orig poster points out all the things in the bible about Kino. such as "makes her think sexual of you" etc etc... So whats the bottom line here? Don't listen to what you read here??????????????????????

==============================================

As you can tell I have a burning desire to understand this. It doesn't help when nobody will explain anything!! I just don't get the point why people say "she played you" but then add nothing else even when I ask WHY. I know nobody here owes me anything but I sure would really really really like somebody to point out what specificly this woman did to me. From day one of me dealing with her I was here reading the bible and posts.

Things she did that doesn't fall into an attention Hoo
1. Let me Kino her. "READ HERE!!! A woman will never let you kino them unless they are truely into you"

2. "read here" An attenion wh0re trys to get attention from as many guys as possible. Which I was the only one she did anything to.

3. Also read here.... Sharing food shows closeness and comfort and is also a Kiss test. etc etc.... She liked to share food.

4. She did things for me. Such as buy me breakfast when I told her. Did little favors for me etc etc etc etc

I can add more! Please Please Help

 

[am4591]

These "good signs" you keep mentioning...they might be good if she didn't have a live-in boyfriend and a kid by him . That changes the whole game.

"READ HERE!!! A woman will never let you kino them unless they are truely into you"

Not necessarily true--I speak from experience here. What's important is that they kino you back.

The tone of your posts is desperation. You need to get over that and quick. You're too into this girl. The best thing to do is to stop seeing her. Just cut it off. No phone calls, no email, nothing. You need to see other girls.

 

[FancyPants]

Originally posted by am4591
These "good signs" you keep mentioning...they might be good if she didn't have a live-in boyfriend and a kid by him . That changes the whole game.



Not necessarily true--I speak from experience here. What's important is that they kino you back.

The tone of your posts is desperation. You need to get over that and quick. You're too into this girl. The best thing to do is to stop seeing her. Just cut it off. No phone calls, no email, nothing. You need to see other girls.

Ok As I stated in my orignal posts!!! I have quit talking to her. I just need to know what happened. The reason why we quite talking was because My boss at work "yes he put his nose in our buisness" made up stories that he claimed she said and I said things about it and she walked. Then not long ago my boss admitted that he made the things up to JOKE with me.

Now why would the good stuff be good if she didn't have a live in boyfriend and a kid by him?????????? Another thing I read HERE!!! "woman will have another guy lined up usually before they dumb there current boyfriend"

 

[am4591]

OK...there's a difference between "boyfriend" and "guy she's living with and they have a kid". I wouldn't even think of doing anything with her in a case like this. If a girl's living with somebody, I don't even attempt anything with her. I used to mess with married women--that was a long time ago, it was a bad idea, and I don't do it any more. Same thing here. Just think of her as if she's married. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble.

Sure, you've stopped talking to her and that's good. But, again, judging by the tone of your posts ("Please please Help", etc.), you sound desperate. It sounds like she was just using you before to stroke her ego. If that's true, she's not worth your time. Trust me, you can do better than her. At least get out and meet other girls. Not just one but a lot of them. Don't take it so seriously. Have a good time with them.

 

[baracus]

FancyPants, by the tone of your messages, it is obvious that you have already decided what this woman thinks of you (you have falsely convinced yourself that she is into you), and you just want someone else to justify your belief. Sorry to tell you this, but she played with your emotions. First of all, you are shy, and I'm assuming that you're a fat boy (I gathered this from the "big guy" remark and the fact that you eat garbage--correct me if I'm wrong.) Shy, fat, insecure: men with these properties are the perfect prey for deceitful women. Now, I would be lying to you if I said that I read that long, pathetic post of yours. I did, however, skim parts of it, and have come to the conclusion that this girl enjoyed playing with your emotions, and she loved the attention (who wouldn't?). Why was she playing you? How do I know there wasn't a burning desire? Because nothing happened! That's why. If this woman really dug you, something would have happened, or she wouldn't have told you anything at all. The fact that she is "comfortable" with you, is the equivalent of saying "you have no balls, so I don't have to worry around you." Why do you think this woman would be attracted to a shy, fat man, anyway?

Of course she was nice to you fat man. She wanted to give you the impression that she likes you, so you could act all pathetic around her. I've seen her type before, FancyPants -- I was a victim of one about 10 years ago (before I dropped 50 pounds, went back to school, and got a sac). I know your pain, FancyPants; I was there. I thought this one girl dug me, I would play over the conversations in my head, and try to find things that indicated an interest: "She bought me coffee before class" (she was thinking of me, so she must like me)"; or "you look nice today, is that a new shirt? (She noticed that I bought a new shirt, she must like me alot); or "you are so funny, I love you (wow! she said she loved me); or "Hey, let's go to Six Flags--my treat" (she wants to be alone with me, yipee!); and on and on and on (yes, including those little subtle things that you believe only coules do). But mine was more confusing, fatso: she would blow kisses at me during class, and lick her lips, and she would sit on my lap. But anytime I went to make a move, she would revert back to the "if I didn't have a boyfriend" excuse.

FancyPants, I am revealing this pathetic, loser, past experience of mine so you can avoid the pain. If the girl was really that into you, something would've happened -- you wouldn't hear the "boyfriend" crap. Anyways, I have a feeling you're not going to listen. You're going to convince yourself that there were subtler things that only you two shared that indicated that she was into you (stop overanalyzing! The girl I was 'involved' with used to tell me she loved me after every meeting, and still I got nothing). How many girls have you been involved with FancyPants? My guess is that its not that many. Now ask yourself why is it that most chicks would never look twice at you, yet one (or two) are all of a sudden crazy about you?

10 years later, I'm a different man. I can see the obvious solution to this problem of yours, and so can many on this board. Being able to spot something like this comes with experience. Better yourself, FancyPants. That way you can get over your insecurites, and stop sweating b*tches like that. Work out, read a few books, eat better. Learn from this mistake and stop looking for the answers that you want to hear, but that don't really exist.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Wow...I don't think there is ANYTHING I could say that hasn't been said already but DOOD...this byatch is fukin' with your head!!!

You need to judge her by her actions and reactions to what your doing NOT by what she says. Girls will tell you a lot of things but not follow through with it. She's playing you bro, GET OUT NOW!! I know a lot of people complain that people advise to NEXT too soon, but in this case, nothing good can come out of this for you except a bad case of OBESSION-ITIS!!

This girl won't fuvk you, so that should tell you right there, that she's ****ing with your head.




PIMP

 

[FancyPants]

Baracus Thanks for spelling it out for me. Despite the fact of u calling me fatso throught the reply . I am not fat By big it meant tall. I am sorry of what happen to you. But yeah your right I do keep going over and over with this in my mind. BTW I see fat people with woman all the time. So in your case how did you know she was playing you? She bought you stuff etc was your attention worth so much to her that she was willing to pay for it?

Why do you think this woman would be attracted to a shy, fat man, anyway?

Why wouldn't she? People like fat people. Besides she is chubby and I wanted her despite the fact she was chubby, and I am not what people would call fat. I am 6' 6" 275.....

You're going to convince yourself that there were subtler things that only you two shared that indicated that she was into you

LOL your the man. I already thought about this before you even posted it.

I just don't know where I went wrong then. I never ever would say oh your so hot I need you etc.

you have no balls, so I don't have to worry around you."

I tried twice to make moves on her. I sure as HeII didn't just sit around and not try to get anything.

 

[uniassign]

I am bored, so here we go ...

I would have sex with you if I didn't have a boyfriend. This made me feel funny and I kind of acted like a dork and said I am hanging up now. So later I see her and she is smiling ear to ear and she asked me if she offended me. I told her No. This is the point where things changed between us.

Some people on this board say she is an attention wh0re, but I don't believe they exist. There is a way to get attention wh0res, you just have to have really good game.

I believe she had some sort of attraction for you, otherwise she would not have invited you to all those parties, gave you her phone number and all the other stuff that you wrote about (that I couldn't be assed reading).

When she told you all that stuff on the phone, she is testing you. Testing to see whether you are a man. She threw down a challenge to see how you would react to her being provocative.

Now, if she is really hot, then you should ignore this test, and then BUST her for going sexual on you. If she is not really that hot, then you should challenge her - tell her to put her money where her mouth is.

Since you did neither, you failed the test and her attraction for you declined.

So after I tell her that I like her she says "I am head over heels over you if I could ever cheat on my boyfriend It would be with you. I know its tough with you being single and me having a boyfriend but nothing can happen."

here comes another chance. She was GIVING you another chance. What you have to understand is that women DON'T MAKE THE FIRST PHYSICAL MOVE. This is as blantant as they get.

This is where you should just grab her and then take her WITHOUT ASKING. She mentioned that she liked BIG men, which usually mean strong, alpha cavemen types. She is testing your MANHOOD here.

You have to realise that women want the GUILT of being a cheat taken away from her. This way she can justify to her mind that she DID NOTHING WRONG. She wanted to be with you, only if you were MAN enough to take what was yours.

This time she said "If I ever got you alone and something
got started between us I would not put an end to it. I can't believe I could do this to my boyfriend but the way I have been treated lately I don't know.

See

I just said come here. She knew what I was going to do and she said NO I said come here and she said NO again and said wasn't it funner when we was just friends.

you should have shut her up with a kiss. Come here required ACTION on her PART. See, she wanted the guilt taken AWAY from her, which means you have to do all the physical work.

From then on, she is just playing around with you, because you have shown her that you are HARMLESS.

I really do believe you had a chance, but failing to be a MAN she has lost all the attraction she had in you.

 

[wolfie]

You quit talking to her - good. Now you need to stop thinking about her too. The tone of your posts suggests you still obsess about her and the situation. This is bad for your psyche and is not going to help you get other women.

 

[baracus]

Fancy Pants:
It wasn't necessarily that she bought me things all the time, I just used those few examples to illustrate. Anyways, I found out about 2 years later from a friend of hers (she didn't recognize me without the 50 pounds, with a new hair style, and with my nice clothes, so I don't have any reason to doubt what this friend said). The friend brought up how women use men, and mentioned how a friend of hers (read: the chick I was involved with) used some dork named *My name* to stroke her ego, because *My name* really liked her alot. Indeed, some really hurtful things were said (although, it didn't really hurt since I was no longer that shell of a man).

Anyways, the only way to tell the difference is through experience with different types of women. It's no surprise that you couldn't recognize what this girl was all about. If and when you get to experience different chicks, you should be able to spot it more easily. Until then, keep your guard up.

 

[Trapspringer]

Damn, I can't belive I actually read all of that but it was interesting. Pretty much what needs to be said has been said already. At first I was thinking "oh what a great respones by PR_lover" then I was like "what a great respnse by trance and Dank." Then I just saw that everyone here really has some good responses so I can't say much at this point besides the fact that it seems like you are obsessed. That was
an incredibly long post for something that happened so long ago. For you to be able to write it with such detail at this point---------

This thing with Diane has been over for months and you still think about it like it all happened last week and you guys had some sort off sexual relationship or something.
Stop trying to figure it out, man. You will continue to drive yourself nuts.


What I think is that Diane thought you were just a very nice guy, had some sort of an attraction to you but she was only trying to get over someone she was very in love with but hurt her. You represented comfort to her but you was not actually her type.

You most likely could have banged her in the beginning but be thankful you didn't because you would be really FVcked up right now. She would have only chewed you up and spit you out menatlly and emotionally. It seems she has done that to some extent.

Your post strangely parallels Frankcd's first post on this thread. I wouldn't be surprised if you were Frank but anyway, what needs to be said needs to be said. Read Frank's post and some of the replies.

 

[FancyPants]

I wanted to express what I thought was happening. Contrary to what I think people here believe I NEVER THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO LEAVE HER BOYFRIEND FOR ME!!!! Because 1 she never led me to believe that was the case also if she did leave him I could not support her like he does. What I thought was she was going to mess around with me "cheat on him" and that we was going to have a little thing on the side. And that I was a backup plan in case they broke up. What led me to think I was going to be a backup plan was When she first called me on my home phone she found out that I didn't live alone. After that she calmed down alot. Then when she quit a month went by and her friend asked me "Are you in SOME KIND of school?" Now to me I find that an odd way for somebody to ask if you are in school. Makes me think like a parent saying get off ur lazy axx and get in school if you want to live here anymore U have to be in some kind of school I don't care what kind of school just do something. Anyway I told her friend yes I am in school then all of a sudden Diane start talking to me again she called me wanted me to come over and visit her and she said start calling me and she also showed up the next day at my job for us to go to lunch together. Now when this all started her boyfriend was going to leave her. Then months later when the schoold comment was made he was going to leave her again.

 

[Fantasy]

Boy are you in love and you didn't even sleep with her. You better be glad she didn't sleep with you or you would really be a mess right about now. I would start trying to really not think about her any more. The attention she gave you is really nothing to many people who get that sort of attention and flirtation all of the time. I am assuming that you don't get that sort of level of attention very often and really distorted reality when you got it. What good is it to try and figure this out now? She is gone and you two barely had a basic friendship.

You should forget about this in a healthy way or you will drive yourself nuts.

 

[FancyPants]

Your post strangely parallels Frankcd's first post on this thread. I wouldn't be surprised if you were Frank but anyway, what needs to be said needs to be said. Read Frank's post and some of the replies.

OMG dude I assure you I am not frankcd. I am only 28 or 29 which ever I chose. I have had girlfriends I have 3 kids etc etc etc. I did read his post and I am shocked and feel real bad for this guy. Now his situation with the girl at work is nowhere near my situation is it??? I mean she never gave him her number he never spent any time with her outside of work she never told him all these things like I was told So I just don't see how I can be like Frank. Somebody Please tell me I am not like him LOL.

Now why I make such an issue about this girl is because One we was friends for about 8 months before any of this took place. And I never ever thought she would do such a thing to a person let alone a friend. Two because I am highly ticked off that my boss at work for putting his nose in our buisness and for making up the stories he told me. He is a Police Officer but He lies like you wouldn't believe almost everything out of his mouth is a lie. His lies made me say some silly things about this girl which made her run away and lastly because she did things that I have read here about being good signs that woman show you and alot of the signs where also signs that my ex's showed me before we got together.

Another thing that makes no sense is all the people saying "I didn't read that whole post" then they tell me I was played I guess they must be telepathic? And before I asked about her and I SAID!!! she was an attention ho and I was told No she is not where do I get that I was asked. One guy from that post said she was not an attention now this time he says she is?????? So I hope you see why my confusion.



I wanted to express what I thought was happening. Contrary to what I think people here believe I NEVER THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO LEAVE HER BOYFRIEND FOR ME!!!! Because 1 she never led me to believe that was the case also if she did leave him I could not support her like he does. What I thought was she was going to mess around with me "cheat on him" and that we was going to have a little thing on the side. And that I was a backup plan in case they broke up. What led me to think I was going to be a backup plan was When she first called me on my home phone she found out that I didn't live alone. After that she calmed down alot. Then when she quit a month went by and her friend asked me "Are you in SOME KIND of school?" Now to me I find that an odd way for somebody to ask if you are in school. Makes me think like a parent saying get off ur lazy axx and get in school if you want to live here anymore U have to be in some kind of school I don't care what kind of school just do something. Anyway I told her friend yes I am in school then all of a sudden Diane start talking to me again she called me wanted me to come over and visit her and she said start calling me and she also showed up the next day at my job for us to go to lunch together. Now when this all started her boyfriend was going to leave her. Then months later when the schoold comment was made he was going to leave her again. Am I correct or not?????

 

[FancyPants]

Can somebody please tell me if my theory in my last post is correct or wrong? Thanks