I found this girl at our school and shes extremely shy . Too shy to even talk to girls , and when recess is crowded , she stays in her class, she looks like a very nice person , how do i start making friends with her , but not be stuck in the friend zone so that I can strengthen the relationship whenever i want ?
Please help if you're up to it !
- Thread starter keemo
- Start date
If she's that shy, it just means you need to break into her enviroment...
To avoid friendship, don't spend so much time with her..
Nice and swift.....
Introductions,
portray as the perfect gentlemen,
ask the right questions (no stalling here),
get her into an (un)offical date,
If she is as shy as you say she is, she could/should have some insecurities, use that to your advantage...
To avoid friendship, don't spend so much time with her..
Nice and swift.....
Introductions,
portray as the perfect gentlemen,
ask the right questions (no stalling here),
get her into an (un)offical date,
If she is as shy as you say she is, she could/should have some insecurities, use that to your advantage...
Introductions
============
Bring in the normal ice-breakers...
(normally by trying to identify a common link you may have)
Introduce yourself, get her name, get some initial info
The Perfect Gentleman
============
Your ****y, but your witty, strongwilled but caring etc.
You need to show your kind/good side, whilst taking care as to not hand your bulls over to her. One way I worked on, was getting them to say they'd marry me, and giving her a nickname, we've avoided the whole friends treatment just by those two actions...
The Right Questions
============
You need to ask questions that are revelant, just think of it like this, each question or topic you make, brings you closer or farther away from being a friend or potential boyfriend material. Where does she live? What is shes into? Her free time? etc.
Information which you can make use of later.
Stalling to me, are questions/topics that are made because you "can't" think of anything else to talk about...
The (un)offical Date
===========
There's millions of ways to do this, normally I always pin them down intellectually in a conversation, always hold her to her word, women totally hate it when guys are like "i told you so..." it annoys them, and if you always keep to yours, makes them attracted to you. One way I pulled off last night was...
Me: Hey Kitty (her real name is ciara, her nick is kitty)
Kitty: Still on about kitty are we "paddy", well if thats what i'm still known as then, yes this is she (i manipulated her into nicknaming me "paddy", note: i did not ask her to).
Me: Ick, calling me paddy, makes me sound like a dog, and if your kitty, you know what that means...
Kitty: No i'm not, you lie! Me food? I still don't get it...
Me: I'd have thought Dog's would never lie, and you being kitty, makes you my prey...
Kitty: Now you see, i still dont get it. All i know is that i'm obliged to die sooner and weirder than i expected. Thats depressing news..
Me: At least you aren't paying for it, ie smoking (i'm making note to the smoking, because i gave her cigarettes eariler)
Kitty: Ah yes, the cigs, I must thank you properly for that, I apreciate more than George ever would! (George is another friend of hers, Note: she's left the opening there, she needs to thank me)
Me: I'll take that as a date at Cafe Nero...
Kitty: Great, cigs = a meal? The things that must be done.. Cafe Nero sounds near haha (she's being indecisive about the ordeal, make the decision for her!)
Me: Think of it as karma, Croydon High Street (place of cafe nero), don't be late... (normally guys are late, by telling her nt to be late, is against tradtional stuff, interesting...)
Kitty: Late?! This is a first, a guy thats on time...
Me: Being late = no free cigarettes, saturday sounds sexy... (ignore her, the topic is about her not being late, and use cigarettes, it was a positive marker before...)
Kitty: I'd come prepared
and I'm college-less, you can decide the arragenment...
Me: After college and before a party, I can squeeze you in.
Kitty: Sqeezed in?!
Me: What can I say, I'm wanted guy...
Etc... we've got a date at 2, she wants to come to the party, and she wants to spend the night over....
There's other ways, I just love using sarcism and intellect to mould them into doing certain things...
============
Bring in the normal ice-breakers...
(normally by trying to identify a common link you may have)
Introduce yourself, get her name, get some initial info
The Perfect Gentleman
============
Your ****y, but your witty, strongwilled but caring etc.
You need to show your kind/good side, whilst taking care as to not hand your bulls over to her. One way I worked on, was getting them to say they'd marry me, and giving her a nickname, we've avoided the whole friends treatment just by those two actions...
The Right Questions
============
You need to ask questions that are revelant, just think of it like this, each question or topic you make, brings you closer or farther away from being a friend or potential boyfriend material. Where does she live? What is shes into? Her free time? etc.
Information which you can make use of later.
Stalling to me, are questions/topics that are made because you "can't" think of anything else to talk about...
The (un)offical Date
===========
There's millions of ways to do this, normally I always pin them down intellectually in a conversation, always hold her to her word, women totally hate it when guys are like "i told you so..." it annoys them, and if you always keep to yours, makes them attracted to you. One way I pulled off last night was...
Me: Hey Kitty (her real name is ciara, her nick is kitty)
Kitty: Still on about kitty are we "paddy", well if thats what i'm still known as then, yes this is she (i manipulated her into nicknaming me "paddy", note: i did not ask her to).
Me: Ick, calling me paddy, makes me sound like a dog, and if your kitty, you know what that means...
Kitty: No i'm not, you lie! Me food? I still don't get it...
Me: I'd have thought Dog's would never lie, and you being kitty, makes you my prey...
Kitty: Now you see, i still dont get it. All i know is that i'm obliged to die sooner and weirder than i expected. Thats depressing news..
Me: At least you aren't paying for it, ie smoking (i'm making note to the smoking, because i gave her cigarettes eariler)
Kitty: Ah yes, the cigs, I must thank you properly for that, I apreciate more than George ever would! (George is another friend of hers, Note: she's left the opening there, she needs to thank me)
Me: I'll take that as a date at Cafe Nero...
Kitty: Great, cigs = a meal? The things that must be done.. Cafe Nero sounds near haha (she's being indecisive about the ordeal, make the decision for her!)
Me: Think of it as karma, Croydon High Street (place of cafe nero), don't be late... (normally guys are late, by telling her nt to be late, is against tradtional stuff, interesting...)
Kitty: Late?! This is a first, a guy thats on time...
Me: Being late = no free cigarettes, saturday sounds sexy... (ignore her, the topic is about her not being late, and use cigarettes, it was a positive marker before...)
Kitty: I'd come prepared
and I'm college-less, you can decide the arragenment...Me: After college and before a party, I can squeeze you in.
Kitty: Sqeezed in?!
Me: What can I say, I'm wanted guy...
Etc... we've got a date at 2, she wants to come to the party, and she wants to spend the night over....
There's other ways, I just love using sarcism and intellect to mould them into doing certain things...
Kitty must have been an open girl , how about my shy one ? All i want to know is when to meet her (in recess when shes in class/library alone , etc) how to meet her (what to say) and how to give her the "lets start being friends " atmosphere , shes hardly got 1 friend , so if I try to be her friend , i would be everything shes looking forward to .. any suggestions ?
PS : thanks for the last post
PS : thanks for the last post
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
Omitshu, shut up. That doesnt help him at all.
You can go over and talk to her and see how that goes. Try to get her to laugh cause that will make her more comfortable and shell slowly open up more. When it comes to shy people, its all about them being comfortable with those who theyre around. Take a shot and see how it goes.
You can go over and talk to her and see how that goes. Try to get her to laugh cause that will make her more comfortable and shell slowly open up more. When it comes to shy people, its all about them being comfortable with those who theyre around. Take a shot and see how it goes.
Thanks , any more posts are appreciated , tomorrow is a day where its optional to come or not , for many reasons im thinking shell come , while others ofcourse will take the chance to skip school , but since we will finish earlier , i can donate me time to try and get her , ofcourse shes less guarded when there are less people in her class , so ill try to go and see what happens .
Once again ,just help me get more tips .
Once again ,just help me get more tips .
If she's in the library, odds are she's reading or researching something, so talk to her about that. Ask her if the book is any good because you might be interested in reading it. Or if you've already read the book talk to her about it. If she's researching something ask her what she's looking for, maybe you can help.
Just make sure you play it cool. You don't want it to be really obvious that you're hitting on her or she might be creeped out.
And like oak said, make her laugh and she will become more comfortable.
Just make sure you play it cool. You don't want it to be really obvious that you're hitting on her or she might be creeped out.
And like oak said, make her laugh and she will become more comfortable.
Is the only way to make her laugh is to tell her jokes ?
me : ive read this book before , its not very informative
she(obviously) : looks at me , smiles , looks at back at the book
Is there a way to make her talk even though shes embarrased ?
So far ive only got her to say her name to me , and i had to make her repeat 6 times to get it right :- shereen , haylene , maylene , ,etc,jaqueline .
IS there anyway to make her reply instead of using yes and no , or just simply asking questions , shes pretty new into the normal world . So she cant put er defenses up ,etc . Maybe i can teach her how to be confident ?? Will i be her mentor or still her friend then ?
How do i get her to start talking herself ?
me : ive read this book before , its not very informative
she(obviously) : looks at me , smiles , looks at back at the book
Is there a way to make her talk even though shes embarrased ?
So far ive only got her to say her name to me , and i had to make her repeat 6 times to get it right :- shereen , haylene , maylene , ,etc,jaqueline .
IS there anyway to make her reply instead of using yes and no , or just simply asking questions , shes pretty new into the normal world . So she cant put er defenses up ,etc . Maybe i can teach her how to be confident ?? Will i be her mentor or still her friend then ?
How do i get her to start talking herself ?
Don't ask yes or no questions and she won't be able to answer yes or no. Ask leading questons.
Back to the book example, if you've read it, "Thats an interesting book, what's your favorite part?" or if you haven't read it, "Is that book any good?" she says yes or no then you say, "What makes it so good/bad?" (depending on her answer)
You don't have to tell jokes to make her laugh. I would actually discourage you from telling them. It might not be as funny as you thought, or it might offend her. Comment on something funny that happened during class or something.
Back to the book example, if you've read it, "Thats an interesting book, what's your favorite part?" or if you haven't read it, "Is that book any good?" she says yes or no then you say, "What makes it so good/bad?" (depending on her answer)
You don't have to tell jokes to make her laugh. I would actually discourage you from telling them. It might not be as funny as you thought, or it might offend her. Comment on something funny that happened during class or something.
Ok I will use that too .
In Recess When Shes Alone In Her Class (not library) :-
Im thinking of asking her (using her name) where (one of the guys in her class) went , and she'll say she doesnt know (obviously) , so ill then ask her whether shes new here (to this school) or not , if she says yes , ill ask her if shes made any friends yet , if shes says no ill ask her if shes made any NEW friends yet . if she says yes that she made some friends (which is quite impossible) ill ask her why she stays in class by herself without these friends (ofcourse she might raise shoulders up and then down again to tell me she doesnt know) if she hasnt made friends though , i dont know what to say , so if you can , please help me in that part .
that part : what to say if she has no friends (ofcourse not "ill be your friend !") and what to say if she raises shoulders up and then down again to tell me she doesnt know why her friends dont hang out with her)
please reply .
you can also post a library example , but wont be necessary .
Sorry for asking lots o questions , im kind of new here
In Recess When Shes Alone In Her Class (not library) :-
Im thinking of asking her (using her name) where (one of the guys in her class) went , and she'll say she doesnt know (obviously) , so ill then ask her whether shes new here (to this school) or not , if she says yes , ill ask her if shes made any friends yet , if shes says no ill ask her if shes made any NEW friends yet . if she says yes that she made some friends (which is quite impossible) ill ask her why she stays in class by herself without these friends (ofcourse she might raise shoulders up and then down again to tell me she doesnt know) if she hasnt made friends though , i dont know what to say , so if you can , please help me in that part .
that part : what to say if she has no friends (ofcourse not "ill be your friend !") and what to say if she raises shoulders up and then down again to tell me she doesnt know why her friends dont hang out with her)
please reply .
you can also post a library example , but wont be necessary .
Sorry for asking lots o questions , im kind of new here
Think about it like this, opposites attract (usually). You're male, so, you need to act like a male. I know, it sounds obvious but, many of us guys don't understand that a majority of women are attracted to men who act like men. A question for you, what is it that girls usually do together with other girls? .....They hangout alot, ( usually at the mall or beauty shops) and gossip about things like (about guys that they like or that they think are hot and they discuss there problems and FEELINGS amoungst each other ( and usually about guys). Basically, what I'm trying to say is, be different from that. Be masculine about things, if you know what I'm saying. When is the last time that you've seen a group of manly and heterosexual men hanging out at a beauty shop and talking about women? Never! Yeah, manly men talk about women but, it's not in a beauty-shop, lol. Also, don't be a soppy man. You can be in touch with your feelings, but don't be soppy and feminine about how you deal with your feelings, take a manly way of handling feelings. You need to be in charge (be dominant but not domineering), be ****y and funny (bust on her, it'll make her more interested. Think about it, a lot of women don't have a sense of humor that is funny.), be mysterious and a bit unavailable, (instead of being like one of her girlfriends guyfriends and hanging out alot, be mysterious and have a life that doesn't revolve around her.) Pass her tests, (often times, a woman will test a man to see just how manly he is about handling a situation. Most of the time, when women get angry at us (no matter how miniscule the situation was), us men do the instinctual thing and apologize and beg forgiveness. Well, that's the WRONG thing to do because it gives the woman control over the situation. Most women want a man who is in control, not a man who is 'weak' and willing to do whatever she wants, you have to be a bit of a rebel is what I'm saying to you. Apologizing should be done if you feel that you might have done something extremely wrong, (depending on what you consider to be 'extreme'), otherwise, be cool about the situation.
Good Luck
Thats great , but as i said before , how do i get her talking herself (how to make her start her own topics , instead of just commenting on mine)
and more importantly whats the first thing to say or do when i find her alone .... in class for example ?
and more importantly whats the first thing to say or do when i find her alone .... in class for example ?
To be honest with you, most girls will not be aggressive to start a topic with you. Most of them expect you to lead the way and get them involved....but maybe if you do the ****y and funny etc and get her attracted, she just might attempt to start a topic.
Ok , I didnt talk to her yet (not enough confidence , even though the chances that i waste are seriosuly golden) , But now i know where exactly she will be at all times = Always in her class , not moving a metre . How would you start a conversation in this position ? I thought of this when shes the only one in her class :- (she will be known as # through out the conversation)
Me : Hey # , do you know where is (a guy) ?
# : (does the i dont know action)
Me : Ok (pauses 1.5 seconds) Are you new to this school ?(i think she is)
# : yes/no
me (if yes) : so have you made any friends ?
me (if no) : so have you made any NEW friends ?
# : yes / no
me (if yes) : -dont know-
me (if no) : -dont know-
Please help me complete this conversation , OR come up with a more convenient 1 , please . Only the first coversation would be planned , because its the difference between victory and rejection , the rest of he conversations would be smooth , and wont require planning .
Please reply .
Me : Hey # , do you know where is (a guy) ?
# : (does the i dont know action)
Me : Ok (pauses 1.5 seconds) Are you new to this school ?(i think she is)
# : yes/no
me (if yes) : so have you made any friends ?
me (if no) : so have you made any NEW friends ?
# : yes / no
me (if yes) : -dont know-
me (if no) : -dont know-
Please help me complete this conversation , OR come up with a more convenient 1 , please . Only the first coversation would be planned , because its the difference between victory and rejection , the rest of he conversations would be smooth , and wont require planning .
Please reply .