pLaYtHiNg's Improvement/Discovery Journal

[pLaYtHiNg]

1) Don't sleep around... Don't move in with a guy...

Got this in the bag. I've very selective and willing to take my time with guys... which obviously weeds out the ones who are only interested in sex.

2) Do try to be feminine often... Granted, I really wish SOMETIMES she would lighten up a bit (she swears the day I get to take her camping will be the day she kills herself)

I've already canned the potty mouth in an attempt to become more feminine... Do I have to can camping as well? I absolutely LOVE camping. I know this is just one example, but I am having trouble figuring this out... is her resistance to the idea of camping feminine? Or is there more to it?

I am pretty eager to camp when the opportunity presents itself... does that make me less feminine??

3) Controversial one: Do be intelligent... I want her to have her own intellectual interests and pursuits. Read books.

Interesting! How controversial is intelligence in a woman? I consider myself very intelligent, college educated and well-read, but am finding some aspects of life are foreign to me, like understanding men. I can see how my naiveness = unintelligent to some people, but am confident that those who get to know me will learn quite quickly that this isn't the case. Is being intelligent unfeminine to some guys? If so, why?

...I'm not looking for a woman who can out drink and out cuss me. I don't care if she wears jeans, as long as she knows how to put on the little black dress.

This hits painfully close to home, but I'm excited to know it and improve upon it! I grew up with 2 brothers and all their friends... Then pretty much became a loner. I never really learned how to be a "lady". I'm elated that eliminating these things are also extremely easy and almost effortless! (Well, swearing is something of a habit... but I don't think it will be that difficult to eliminate).

Read the posts here about bad behavior by women-learn what not to do.

Check!

One last thing,women LOOOVE drama,men don't...

I totally agree here. Most women I know can only handled in small doses because they are so energy-draining to be around. I'm really not one for drama, either. I'm pretty laid back, but if I'm confronted I'll stand my ground. I definitely don't allow others to use me as a doormat.

ETA: Thanks to the Time Machine, this thread has come to the surface. It's very informative... Although I don't plan on getting rid of my piercings, (and I actually do want at least one more tattoo), how do men perceive these things on women? Are they necessarily unfeminine, even in moderation? (I currently have one tattoo, and 9 piercings - 6 of which are in the ears).

 

[prairiedog24]

I absolutely LOVE camping. I know this is just one example, but I am having trouble figuring this out... is her resistance to the idea of camping feminine? Or is there more to it?

I am pretty eager to camp when the opportunity presents itself... does that make me less feminine??

Yeah I do too. My family has always loved the outdoors. I would have laughed if somebody told me I'd ever be in love with a girl that said that to me. I don't think the issue is camping itself, it's just that she's pretty forceful about being a girl. To her, camping is a guy thing, so she wants none of it.

That specific example isn't a good one given that if she persists it will eventually be a TURN OFF given that it's an activity that I'd love to introduce her to, but it's an example of how she is guarding her femininity to a sometimes silly extreme.

I'm not really good at picking out all the little things... I never grew up with sisters. But I know this girl has me where she wants me despite our completely opposite backgrounds.

Is being intelligent unfeminine to some guys? If so, why?

Not to me. But I haven't been around enough of the dating scene guys to really get a sense of it.

To me though, you should really be pretty equal in education. I wouldn't consider dating a girl who didn't finish college regardless of her body. We'd just have nothing in common.

 

[STR8UP]

I really think "successful" needs to be defined.

C'mon now.....you know there is only one kind of successful for women- and that is landing a man who will fulfill her needs. Sex that doesn't lead to more= FAIL.

1.) If a woman is very attractive, she is bound to overlook men who are 'average' if you will, (and may very well be 'quality men', at that, who would have a greater appreciation for her attention). It is even possible that average, well-meaning guys would be too intimidated to even approach her.

I agree with you in theory, but in reality EVERY woman is shopping for the best complete package she can land.

What you are essentially saying is that an "above average" man can't be "quality". As much as you might **wish** that you could be attracted to the more "average" guy, it just isn't in your genetic makeup.

This needs to be articulated a little bit better but I can't wrap my head around it right this moment, so.....

2.) Instead of successfully finding "love" and "intimacy" within her relationships, she may only find herself the "trophy", highly-regarded "arm candy", but not much else.

Again, this is assuming that an attractive man cannot have other good qualities. This almost sounds like a rationalization for settling for a guy who isn't as good looking as you would prefer.

Just as (well not JUST AS, but similar to) the way that a man will be more sexually attracted to a more beautiful woman, a woman is going to have more potential to "love" a more attractive man to a higher degree. It's a subconscious thing and it sounds "shallow", but that's the way it works.

I am quite sure I know what you mean by "feminine" women will be more appealing, but could you please give examples of feminine qualities a woman may possess that would increase her value? I, for one, am usually not very lady-like. I'm willing to admit that, and I'm also willing to explore the ideas of embracing more femininity in my life.

I wish "I know it when I see it" would be a sufficient answer, but I know it wouldn't be so here are a few-

- Always dresses like a lady. No sweat pants and old t-shirts.

I absolutely LOVE hitting up brunch on Sunday here downtown, when all of the women are out in their little sundresses and sexy shoes. Yumm....

- Has feminine interests.

I know quite a few women that I would never take seriously, despite their looks, simply because they get into football. Some guys might disagree with me, but a chick that chugs beer and yells at the t.v. is a total turnoff for a lot of guys.

- Doesn't want to *be* a man.

This is where modern feminism has all but destroyed male/female relations. They have managed to convince women that for some reason women get a raw deal in a more traditional gender role. Watching a ball busting female attorney in a court room makes my skin crawl....

- Carries herself like a lady.

This one is tough to put a finger on but arguably the most important. It's a culmination of all of the traits that make a woman sexy. Western women today wear baseball caps, express themselves loudly, and compete with men for the CEO position.

I'm not saying that women shouldn't be able to do these kinds of things, but they shouldn't complain about not being able to find a good man if they choose to live a more masculine existence.

American women love to shame men for liking foreign women, when what they SHOULD be doing is taking notes. Western chicks have this absurd notion that men want a slave, when in reality we are only looking for a partner who COMPLIMENTS us, as opposed to one who tries to compete with us and BE LIKE us.

I agree with you, women are indeed rewarded with attention for unfeminine behaviors. I just keep thinking of the Carl's Jr. commercial where the girl grabs the sandwich from her boyfriend, takes a bite, looks at him and says, "Pull my finger." While funny, not even I would go that far![/SIZE]

The question is "How far DO you go?"

While most any reasonably attractive woman can find a man who will accept her for who she is even if she doesn't carry herself in a feminine manner, the less feminine your behavior, the more you are limiting your pool of men, especially the desirable ones.

Bottom line- all things equal, the guy who makes your pu$$y wet will choose the woman who is more feminine than you are.

I am very interested in discussing the traits that increase a woman's value to men.

The list is a mile long, but it centers around adopting a more traditional gender role. A man wants to be a man, and women certainly want him to be a man.

Does this mean that you have to be repulsed by camping and fishing, and decline an invitation to the Superbowl party? No, but as I have mentioned, men generally don't like it when women are more passionate about traditionally masculine pastimes than they are. You don't have to be prissy to be feminine.

Make any sense?

 

[sodbuster]

Two things that problems with women are if they have power, they tend to abuse it and if they are intelligent, they seem to want to always prove it. When I get home[as a dentist], I don't want to "compete" with my wife[now ex] who was a CPA. Infact, I had her in MY office and she didn't listen there. I told her,"damn it woman, HERE I know more than you do"

I don't have a problem with intelligent women, just their attitude[I actually prefer intelligence, I'd just like to be able to have the ability to be right and be considered smarter than the table washers in the mall]. When I was just divorced, was on match-one woman said "I am an intelligent woman and men who can't deal with that need not reply- she wore her intelligence like a badge of honor for all to see. I didn't reply,not because I don't like intelligence, but I didn't want to deal with the attitude.

 

[cola]

Speak for yourself buddy..

^^ Speak for yourself buddy. This whole thread is a bunch of bs. Not the thread starters posts but the follow ups. Not only is what I'm reading riddiculous it shines through how moronic the average is on this site.

Plaything listen lady..
Nothing is more sexy than a woman who is unappolagetic for there independent demeanor.
All this crap about being more "feminine" is bs. I hate whiney *****y feminine whomen. I love girls I can watch the football game with.
I loooove tattoos and piercings like nothing else on a female.
All these people preaching femininity clearly are intimidated by women with masculine traits. I on the other hand love them and know lots of men who do.
As for your looks please..
Your fine girl

And **** that femininity is attractive..
The men who say that can't handle aggressive women and so they want whiney drama queens..
Women that are career driven goal oriented and like sports are the ****.

Not to even mention the troubling finacial times why would you want a housewife now a days? It was a song and the lyric went "there's nothing that's more sexy than a girl that WANT but don't NEED me" very true ..

 

[STR8UP]

Oh, man....I'm rolling on the floor now....:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Intimidated by a woman with masculine traits, huh? More like repulsed, as any real man would be.

You are either 1) a 15 year old kid, 2) a woman 3) a hopeless AFC 4) a closet homo.

Didn't I say about this being posted in the wrong forum?

If all you wanted was multiple responses and validation, this is the place for it, and in that case then the guys who cried "AW" are right. She's new so I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Now run along and play cola. Come back when you've sprouted a few hairs on your sack.

 

[cola]

Oh, man....I'm rolling on the floor now....:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Intimidated by a woman with masculine traits, huh? More like repulsed, as any real man would be.

You are either 1) a 15 year old kid, 2) a woman 3) a hopeless AFC 4) a closet homo.

Didn't I say about this being posted in the wrong forum?

If all you wanted was multiple responses and validation, this is the place for it, and in that case then the guys who cried "AW" are right. She's new so I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Now run along and play cola. Come back when you've sprouted a few hairs on your sack.

Thanks for the insults.
I'm 19. There's nothing "afc" about me I'm far from average not frustrated and never been a chump. I'm not a woman and I'm straight as an arrow.

1st we tell these poor misguided ****ers that you should walk up to a girl and make fun of her and other forms of childish procrastination before we attempt to get her number.
Now we belittle a woman who has any sense of competitiveness in there being.
I'm not saying I'm attracted to masculine traits like..
Farting around me
Or chewing with your mouth open
I mean masculine traits like having a mind of your own
Having pride in your looks and not seeking validation from others
Competitiveness

If you don't value that in a woman than your not looking for a woman..
You just want a barbie doll who you can tell to get pretty and be your arm candy which essentially makes YOU the attention *****

Yeah your str8up alright..
Str8up insecure
Later *****

Funny how I said no names "which I did on purpose" and you were the one to come flame me.. further proving my point that your insecure

 

[sodbuster]

Well cola, I'm 50 and I HAD the independant woman[code for PITA] for a WIFE,not some hit it and quit it girlfriend. I don't want it again. Do you really want her telling you how to run your buisiness when you make 4x what she does? do you want her to "compete" with you with everything at home when you've spent the whole day competing with the world? Have you ever been married? Know what it takes to make a happy marriage?Ever even lived with a girl[mom don't count]?

The OP is looking for a serious relationship,probably leading toward eventual marriage-you don't know sh1t from shoepolish about any of that. A man looking for a wife he can be proud of isn't looking for a pierced woman with a tramp stamp. He's looking for a partner,not a rival at home.

I was comming in long before you were coming out.listen to us or not at your peril.

 

[cola]

Well cola, I'm 50 and I HAD the independant woman[code for PITA] for a WIFE,not some hit it and quit it girlfriend. I don't want it again. Do you really want her telling you how to run your buisiness when you make 4x what she does? do you want her to "compete" with you with everything at home when you've spent the whole day competing with the world? Have you ever been married? Know what it takes to make a happy marriage?Ever even lived with a girl[mom don't count]?

The OP is looking for a serious relationship,probably leading toward eventual marriage-you don't know sh1t from shoepolish about any of that. A man looking for a wife he can be proud of isn't looking for a pierced woman with a tramp stamp. He's looking for a partner,not a rival at home.

I was comming in long before you were coming out.listen to us or not at your peril.

Your exs problem was that she was a *****.
Has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.
I'm saying I don't want a ****ing barbie doll who's going to stfu and do what I tell her
And I don't know **** from shoepolish..
But I know what I like in a woman..
And its not a playmate with **** for brains that tolerates any kind of treatment because she's "feminine".. and I like tattoos it doesn't make her a ****ing tramp it makes her a individual who expresses herself through her body.
I have a lot of tattoos am I no good as a husband one day?
Am I a gang member or a robber?
NO
So stop being judgemental that's probably why your single now

 

[sodbuster]

that isn't what we are talking about either. We want the brains without the attitude that usually comes with them[too much TV watching-ever notice how the men are putzes and their wife saves the day,women believe that sh1t]. Men are all about competition. Women shouldn't be.

When you sign on the line, independant becomes I can do whatever I want and you can't stop me. Bluejeans become sweats,sweats become her bedtime attire[no more baby dolls to bed]. Long hair gets shortened,short hair becomes a buzz cut[it's easier] and the next thing you know, you are living with what looks like a "bull dyke".

The barbie dolls you don't like,with no mind of their own seem to develope one when they know they can take half your stuff. We are probably looking for the same woman[other than the tats],but some of us are allowing for the slippage that happens after she isn't on her best behavior and you are married to her/dated her for years. A woman who is worried about how she looks will always look better than one who doesn't care about them.

 

[prairiedog24]

. We are probably looking for the same woman[other than the tats],but some of us are allowing for the slippage that happens after she isn't on her best behavior and you are married to her/dated her for years. A woman who is worried about how she looks will always look better than one who doesn't care about them.

Exactly. I HATE slippage, in men too (although it helps my skinny dude cause when the girls I like see buff jocks turn to blubber in a few months after getting engaged) No chance I ever allow myself to get pudgy, or stop taking care of myself. I do it for myself, and not just to attract a woman while I'm young.

I want a girl that's the same way. The one I'm cuckoo for right now dresses up because SHE wants to feel pretty for her OWN benefit. Not to snag some guy. I like that. I know that, like me, she'll keep herself up as she gets older for herself at least, if not for my benefit.

If I were to ever marry this chick, I might not like the amount of money that gets spent on beauty products and clothes, but hey... one bridge at a time! :nervous:

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

To her, camping is a guy thing, so she wants none of it.

Ahh... I've never really had a sense of what's a "guy" thing and what's a "girl" thing. I guess those lines were kind of blurred as I grew up. It's a unique point of view, in my opinion, but it also makes me think this is a bit closed-minded.

I wouldn't consider dating a girl who didn't finish college regardless of her body. We'd just have nothing in common.

I don't agree with this, but I respect your opinion.

Sex that doesn't lead to more= FAIL.

I agree, and not being one who could easily cope with this scenario, is the exact reason I am not promiscuous. I have always had the relationship first, then the sex.

What you are essentially saying is that an "above average" man can't be "quality". As much as you might **wish** that you could be attracted to the more "average" guy, it just isn't in your genetic makeup.

Not necessarily, but my general thoughts are that if a man is A.) Successful, B.) Looks Nice, and C.) Has Options he is more likely to Not Commit/Cheat, Abuse/Neglect, and take others for granted, as in his mind they can easily be replaced if they don't respond to his liking. I'm not saying that's ALL successful men, but perhaps a majority of them.

- Always dresses like a lady. No sweat pants and old t-shirts.

Uh oh. Hehe I'm actually wearing sweats and a tee right now! LOL

- Has feminine interests.

I already know that this is something that I cannot change, as I will not imagine getting rid of my less feminine interests, or think of ones I could gain? Like sewing/knitting? Oh forget it! The most feminine thing I do is customize My Little Pony dolls! Even then they're not feminine!

- Doesn't want to *be* a man.

Well, I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a man, and actually spent the better part of my last relationship as a sort of domesticated woman. LOL! I was content, but I can't say very happy...

I don't think a ball-busting female attorney is trying to be a man, she is trying to be an attorney! What are some of the things some women do that lead you to believe they are trying to *be* a man?

You don't have to be prissy to be feminine.

This is a relief. Actually, after reading this... I am not sure I have any feminine qualities at all, other than being female! I'm going to have to take a hard look at myself.

...I didn't reply,not because I don't like intelligence, but I didn't want to deal with the attitude.

I know exactly what you are talking about... I have met a number of women with ego and an almost self-righteous confidence. That attitude is almost like an obstacle in getting to know someone truly.

Nothing is more sexy than a woman who is unappolagetic for there independent demeanor.

I really like this. This is me.

Didn't I say about this being posted in the wrong forum?

Aren't the majority of the other improvement journals within this forum? I wasn't sure where to post, even when I initially came here... there is no real 'intro' forum like on other sites.

I am going to keep an open mind regarding everyone's opinions and I do appreciate ALL of them. I can understand what Cola is saying, underneath it all he is telling me to just be myself, or forget anyone who doesn't like it.

"I mean masculine traits like having a mind of your own
Having pride in your looks and not seeking validation from others
Competitiveness"

This is GOOD advice, for anyone.

...He's looking for a partner,not a rival at home.

I agree. There is a time and place for being independent and also understanding of your partner's needs.

I'm saying I don't want a ****ing barbie doll who's going to stfu and do what I tell her

How many guys here are actually looking for/want subservient women? I can understand the initial attraction, but that's where it ends.

Men are all about competition. Women shouldn't be.

Why shouldn't women be? Life itself is all about competition... for males and females alike... Darwin suggested that only the fittest survive, and to survive you have to be competitive. Even though it is no longer a life and death situation with humans nowadays, that primal urge to compete is still within us.

If you are referring to competing with your partner, I agree to an extent. Working "with" your partner is probably a better way to observe it. "Healthy" competition is... well, healthy!

 

[Maxtro]

C.) Has Options

He is more likely to Not Commit/Cheat
Abuse/Neglect, and take others for granted, as in his mind they can easily be replaced if they don't respond to his liking. I'm not saying that's ALL successful men, but perhaps a majority of them.

This intrigues me on a couple of levels.

First of all, what do you mean by has options? Does that mean there are other girls he can get as well? How do you even know a man has other options? What if your the only girl he can "get" at the moment, does the fact that he has no other options make him less attractive?

Why did you combine commit and cheat in the syntax of "Not Commit/Cheat" So a man who can get other girls is less likely to commit and less likely to cheat? Is it even cheating if you are not committed? I would expect a man that has options to be seeing more than one girl a week.

A man who does not have options is more likely to commit and less likely to cheat. Being able to cheat kind of requires being able to get other girls...

Of course I may be completely misunderstanding what you mean by options.

 

[sodbuster]

As far as competition ie with your mate. How will you handle it when I beat you in chess, in income, in an IQ test etc.? Will you take it like a man? Or will you run off and pout. If competition with me causes you to pout and lose interest in sex, do I win and go without or lose and have to listen to "I am woman, hear me ROAR"[as sung by Hellen Reddy-good grief, Tina should have done that song] It's a lose/lose situation for a man to compete with his wife

 

[STR8UP]

I don't agree with this, but I respect your opinion.

I don't agree with this either. I didn't finish college, but I can guarantee you that I am smarter and more talented than about 98% of the population. This goes even more for a woman. She doesn't need a piece of paper to prove her "value", and I would much rather talk to a chick who has traveled than one who is highly educated.

]I agree, and not being one who could easily cope with this scenario, is the exact reason I am not promiscuous. I have always had the relationship first, then the sex.

Although I would agree that women are judged harshly based upon their PERCEIVED sexual history, if you are withholding sex you are likely missing out on some opportunities. If a woman made me wait i would assume she isn't interested and I would be outa there after a month or so. You have to strike a balance (honing your acting skills doesn't hurt either).

Not necessarily, but my general thoughts are that if a man is A.) Successful, B.) Looks Nice, and C.) Has Options he is more likely to Not Commit/Cheat, Abuse/Neglect, and take others for granted, as in his mind they can easily be replaced if they don't respond to his liking. I'm not saying that's ALL successful men, but perhaps a majority of them.

This is part of the reason why women cheat.

I'm not saying YOU cheat, but what happens with a lot of women is that they will settle down with the guy who WILL settle down with them, a "provider" guy, then they will seek out the high grade baby batter from the guy who "has options".

You are correct in that the more desirable man is more likely to exercise his options, but that's part of the game. Hot women are the same way.

Well, I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a man, and actually spent the better part of my last relationship as a sort of domesticated woman. LOL! I was content, but I can't say very happy...

I don't think a ball-busting female attorney is trying to be a man, she is trying to be an attorney! What are some of the things some women do that lead you to believe they are trying to *be* a man?

Women don't actually want to BE men.....they want all of the perks of being a woman and the perceived freedoms of being a man, but they don't want any of the drawbacks and responsibilities of being male.

I don't care how physically attractive a woman is, watching her go at someone's throat in a courtroom cuts a minimum 3-4 points off her number.

The bigger point here is that women who take on jobs like that are not generally the kind of woman I would want to have a meaningful relationship with. I don't want a pit bull, I want a kitten.

]This is a relief. Actually, after reading this... I am not sure I have any feminine qualities at all, other than being female! I'm going to have to take a hard look at myself.

I don't know you but from the way you write it seems that you are at least modest and agreeable. These kinds of traits go a long way toward your score. With the way so many women are these days just being "nice" can get you points.

I know exactly what you are talking about... I have met a number of women with ego and an almost self-righteous confidence. That attitude is almost like an obstacle in getting to know someone truly.

This is 80% of attractive women in America.

Aren't the majority of the other improvement journals within this forum? I wasn't sure where to post, even when I initially came here... there is no real 'intro' forum like on other sites.

You are taking advice from teenagers. You won't get as many replies on the mature board, but they will be better quality.

I am going to keep an open mind regarding everyone's opinions and I do appreciate ALL of them. I can understand what Cola is saying, underneath it all he is telling me to just be myself, or forget anyone who doesn't like it.

Didn't we already talk about this? Being yourself is only a good thing when it gets you what you want.

I know I had no place giving women OR men advice when I was 19. Or 25 for that matter. It's reassuring to be validated, but consider the source.

I agree. There is a time and place for being independent and also understanding of your partner's needs.

I don't take you as a ball busting man hater, so you probably have a little more leeway in your "tomboy" tastes.

How many guys here are actually looking for/want subservient women? I can understand the initial attraction, but that's where it ends.

We don't. It's a total fallacy. Kids like cola, afc's, and feminists would have you believe that, but it's BS.

Why shouldn't women be? Life itself is all about competition... for males and females alike... Darwin suggested that only the fittest survive, and to survive you have to be competitive. Even though it is no longer a life and death situation with humans nowadays, that primal urge to compete is still within us.

If you are referring to competing with your partner, I agree to an extent. Working "with" your partner is probably a better way to observe it. "Healthy" competition is... well, healthy!

You are missing the point. This is where women are completely misguided. Women are (by nature) designed to perform certain tasks in the context of relationships and raising a family, and men have a complimentary set of traits that they are specialized for.

Nobody wants to hear it, but this is why sh!t is so screwed up today. Instead of competing for and complimenting a man and his strengths with her superior communication and nurturing skills, women are trying to compete against men on the business front and on the sexual front.

Women should be competing with other women for the best quality man, and men should be competing with other men to secure resources to be able to land the best quality woman.

Women won't acknowledge this because they see it as a personal threat, but it's pretty much a death sentence for the perpetuation of the species.

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

First of all, what do you mean by has options? Does that mean there are other girls he can get as well?

Yes, that is exactly what I mean.

How do you even know a man has other options?

You can just 'tell' if that makes any sense. I know it's vague, but indicators (to me) are, he has a lot of chic friends, even FWB, an active social life, and noticing other women's reactions to him while in public situations.

What if your the only girl he can "get" at the moment, does the fact that he has no other options make him less attractive?

NO! Absolutely not! I have dated a few men whose options, shall we say, were limited, perhaps to only those with an open heart and a non-superficial or materialistic personalities. Some would say a lot of mean things about them, but I choose to see the positive in people. They are not what would be considered "conventionally" attractive, but had kind hearts and great personalities.

Why did you combine commit and cheat in the syntax of "Not Commit/Cheat"

Men who are aware of their options, are less likely to "settle" for just one girl, and even if they do, are more likely to cheat. I read once somewhere that men cheat for this very simple reason: Because they CAN. I pretty much believe it. It's in a man's genes (Ha, "jeans" Ha Ha Ha) to pursue as many options as possible. I do understand that, despite wanting a monogamous partner for myself someday.

Is it even cheating if you are not committed?

No. If both parties understand and agree to non-exclusivity then it is not cheating.

A man who does not have options is more likely to commit and less likely to cheat. Being able to cheat kind of requires being able to get other girls...

I agree, and yes is basically my belief for now. It makes sense, however there are always exceptions to the rule.

How will you handle it when I beat you in chess, in income, in an IQ test etc.? Will you take it like a man? Or will you run off and pout.

What? Is there no other option foreseeable? How about a woman who can and does casually accept that a man can be better then her at some things, and inevitably, she is better then him at others?

I would much rather talk to a chick who has traveled than one who is highly educated.

I agree... actual life experiences are lessons not learned through textbooks. While I do think education is important, I also know a lot of college educated idiots.

if you are withholding sex you are likely missing out on some opportunities.

Yes, I think I just learned this one the hard way, recently. I have no regrets though and maybe in the future, this idea will have another chance to surface.

but what happens with a lot of women is that they will settle down with the guy who WILL settle down with them, a "provider" guy, then they will seek out the high grade baby batter from the guy who "has options".

You know, for the longest time I couldn't see this, but having had my eyes opened for me, I do see this now. Not only is it in bad taste for the woman in particular, but I am also beginning to understand and experience how it effects the rest of us, no matter our reputations.

Another thing that was on my mind earlier was the media. The media tends to idealize a woman who is attractive, competitive, (within "men's fields" so to speak), and even "ball-busting". I see a lot of hero-worship for the Goddesses of the big screen, so I was wondering what you guys think of this before I discuss my thoughts on Roissy's 16 Commandments.

I've already begun reading (excerpts from)The Manipulated Man, I am anxious to discuss this as well.

 

[sodbuster]

well, my EX was a feminazi,she just hid it well.until after the wedding.Then she had to try to "prove" that women are superior every chance she got. Win or lose, I lost. YOU may have your head on straight,but most don't-why I don't like a competetive woman. She is playing in a mans game with womans emotions. It may seem foreign to you[with brothers],but the generalized rule men have will affect you,so learn it. IF you are with a guy awhile and can show you can be competetive with a mans emotions[not being pissy if you lose]. He will be interested-she's different. BUT start out being feminine and gradually show him the rest. When we first meet you, we think she's as good as she's going to be-she's out scouting.

When we meet a competition driven woman, we wait for the inner femanazi to show up. Cook?clean?kids? I'm important at my job-"I" don't have time for any of THAT. If in marrying you, we get to add to our workload and raise the kids[about the only reason a man should marry] in exchange for sex[we can get THAT at the corner bar],we don't seem to do well in the deal.

Her job made 1/4 of what I do working MORE hours than I did. When she did the week long buisiness trips, I'd have to make sure I was done with my last patient in time to pick up the kids from daycare[we aren't done here,but I need to leave?] Finding daycare,staying home when a kid was too sick for daycare[or bringing them to my personal office-couldn't go to hers,she's"important"],getting up in the middle of the night with a sick kid because she was too tired,cleaning the house[I work too] etc.,etc.,etc. Then getting divorced because I wasn't "in love" with her and didn't "treat her right"[I didn't like the grouchy roomate-was like living with another guy]. I even told her she could quit work when she was complaining about it-if she treated me better[she just couldn't do that[be dependant on a man]

Give me a woman who will cook,clean raise the kids and be a woman partner. If she wants to go back to work after the kids are older-fine,but I don't need my life to be harder when I'm with you. I make enough money,what I need is time. If you are working at a c-store instead of making my life easier,don't want you and your "career"

 

[AAAgent]

I guess since im a male i see it from a different perspective. For the whole wanting to be better in a relationship perspective i don't think its too hard for women. Most women are decent partners( i think) its their men that don't know how to keep them. So as long as you don't b!tch and whine about sports, hanging with the boys, and aren't boring in bed i think your pretty much okay. What can you really do wrong when the man's supposed to be in charge.

The only bad thing about being female that you can work on is to control your emotions better. A lot of females always get tricked by the suave guy that just hits it and quits it. Most people that actually are generally into a female will go through to the end, so the more you hold out the better your protecting yourself.

There's not much else i see to being a female and under 30. All the guys come swarming at all times of the day. Rich and ugly, good looking and poor, and sometimes when your lucky a rich and good looking guy will brush by. I'm personally more attracted to how a woman presents herself than her looks. Sure she could be hot as well and have a hot ass bod but you know what i'd walk right by that piece of meat for a quality girl.

Guys don't only look good without their shirts on and the same goes for girls. If your beautiful or have a great body, just because you clothe yourself properly or put on minimal make-up doesn't hide those things. The more you show-off the more you attract people and that includes those weirdos, etc. I'll give you an example here:
A girl with huge boobs where's a baggy t-shirt because she doesn't want to emphasize her boobs so she can fit in....but you know what, people still see that she has huge boobs..
Just like a guy that is jacked with alot of muscles, baggy clothes can't hide his body either.

So if your hot sh!t, or something along those lines, nothing wrong with dressing up once in a while to make yourself feel good but what's the point in showing off. You know your hot sh!t, everyone else does too. By emphasizing only your looks or body, it basically seems like that's all your offering to the rest of the world.



I'm also attracted to women that have their sh!t together. Women that can party hard without losing control, can handle their own work/problems, and pay for their own sh!t. That's a major turnon. Most guys naturally want to be dominant but when you start to take away their responsibilities(or their daily courses of action: making the money, making all the decisions, etc.) instead of just being another piece of meat i see them more as an equal.

Another reason why a strong independent woman is attractive besides the qualities stated above is because if she can take care of all her baggage without complaining it makes me feel like if i were to choose her she'd be able to take care of me as well even if i became baggage.

I can only give my personal opinion on what makes a good female so don't take this as a general statement.

 

[fertileTurtle]

I hate the size of the font, but am glad to know you are at least using pink as a girl. I was pyssed to think that some dude was using that gay color.

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

BUT start out being feminine and gradually show him the rest.

Good to know!

So as long as you don't b!tch and whine about sports, hanging with the boys, and aren't boring in bed i think your pretty much okay.

Pretty easy stuff, here.

The only bad thing about being female that you can work on is to control your emotions better. A lot of females always get tricked by the suave guy that just hits it and quits it. Most people that actually are generally into a female will go through to the end, so the more you hold out the better your protecting yourself.

This is the same basic idea I use. It's really just common sense... if they like you, they will stick around. Some guys here don't agree with with-holding, many saying that a woman who won't put out by the 3rd date is 'wasting' their time. (Of course, if your only mission is to achieve sex, then they are right).

About controlling your emotions, how do you mean? I keep thinking of my brother's wife... she is a total lunatic. She cries and gets hysterical over the most trivial things. (For example, my brother and sister recently wanted to shop at WalMart alone... my sister is visiting him and they hadn't had time to breathe without her being RIGHT THERE). My brother's wife got hysterical when they wanted to shop without her. She even gets jealous when my brother holds his 3 month old niece)!

By the way, I've let him know about this site, so hopefully he'll get rid of her.

I hate the size of the font, but am glad to know you are at least using pink as a girl. I was pyssed to think that some dude was using that gay color.

I had to increase the font size to make the pink color a bit more easier to read for some folks. I personally don't have any issues reading it, but some people do.