Player friend's advice differs heavily from forum advice

[GreatHornedOwl]

Now I know a lot of guys on this forum get plenty of action, but so does my friend, and his approach is vastly different.

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

 

[2Rocky]

It works for him. He is happy with the progress so don't second guess him. You might be able to glean some of his good points and apply them to your approach.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Now I know a lot of guys on this forum get plenty of action, but so does my friend, and his approach is vastly different.

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

Yep, he shouldn't change what's working for him. He likely has that confident aloofness to be aware of the bullchit and not care realizing he will get past their b1tch shields..

 

[The Duke]

Different strokes for different folks. Some like short term gains, some prefer long term gains. Good that he recognizes what works for him.

 

[cola]

Be honest, is your friend very handsome? Because if he is, it doesn’t really matter what he does.

 

[EyeBRollin]

He’s not in control. He gets sympathy and rebound pvssy if any. He’ll get destroyed in divorce court.

 

[RangerMIke]

He's really not doing anything different than I do. Women that won't go out with me I'll still keep in touch with them, I just not going to ask them out... sometimes they ask me out. Really it all depends on the situation, I have women I used to date that I'm not dating anymore, I still keep in contact... sometime they circle back around. Nothing wrong with his approach.

It really all depends on the woman and how she behave.

I never advised anyone not to go on group dates, I've done this before... it's actually not that uncommon now a days or a woman to ask if a friend can come along... especially if it is someone I just met... totally normal. If the meetup is going well, they'll usually have some kind of secret signal for the friend to 'suddenly' have someplace to go... that happens every now and then.

I have NEVER advised a man to start putting his hands on a woman first. I don't do that either, I let her come to me, but I always try to kiss them when the date is over, because that tells you a lot.

 

[bonesmahoney]

Now I know a lot of guys on this forum get plenty of action, but so does my friend, and his approach is vastly different.

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

F-ckin' righteous, first time I've come across even halfway decent info on this forum (aside from my own, of course).

Really it all depends on the situation, I have women I used to date that I'm not dating anymore, I still keep in contact... sometime they circle back around. Nothing wrong with his approach.

It really all depends on the woman and how she behave.

It's really sad how few dudes understand this.

 

[deadmasterx]

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them.

I think we can see here a true indifference mindset. Most guys would "next" by blocking and cutting off all the contact. This guy's mindset is probably "Well, if she doesn't want it (now), there are others who does. Maybe another day we can do it". Patience, indifference, true confidence.

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

Going straightly for what you want is cool, shows that you got the balls. He got a safer approach, for what I can see, where he first show his personality and get to know the woman better. I think that these PUA stuff conditioned men to be like "See hot girl > approach hot girl > communicate your interest > date > ****". For what I can see, he's more like "See hot girl > approach hot girl > get to know her better, but without hiding the fact that he's sexually interested (women doesn't want to feel that you're getting sex from them, the only way to avoid that to happen is showing interest on HER) > date > ****".

Honestly, it seems to me that your friend is truly indifferent to tests, he likes new challenges and owns himself. I'd say that this is a true alpha state of mind. Nothing shake him, nothing get him butthurt and "uh flakey testy girl next her".

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Now I know a lot of guys on this forum get plenty of action, but so does my friend, and his approach is vastly different.

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

Different things work for different people. The truth is you need to figure out what works for your personality and your style and then do that and work on perfecting it.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Girls with high IL don't flake on guys to "test" them. Though if your friend's strategy works, great. But, I'd be curious to peel away some layers: he may be banging chicks but are they top shelf or mid tier or lower? If a woman flakes on me I'm way too busy and have options so why would I chase? Just me though. Women are also programmed deep within their DNA to be more attracted to assertive guys who go for what they want in life and take the ball to hoop vs the timid type who don't. Just saying. You can't argue with nature, the law of the jungle, and 1000's of years of evolution. Still, it's good your friend even has a plan because most guys don't. Some of the recent "advice" I'm reading from guys here, mainly new members, is laughable and wouldn't work on their blow-up doll. Be careful who you listen to.

Cherry pick the best of the best in terms of advice and roll with it.

Good luck, brother.

 

[f(x)]

Different things work for different people. The truth is you need to figure out what works for your personality and your style and then do that and work on perfecting it.

This.

remember the A in PUA

Artist

 

[Bandolero]

Great for him.
Maybe he can learn from you to value his time, instead of raising someone's interest levels.
But this is for Men who want to aim higher in life.
If he is happy chasing, then he should proceed.
I know there is more to this world then women.

 

[SirBigBell]

Your friend is using the galant fighter approach to dating. The strategy is clearly working for him. It however isnt for everybody as it demands a high level of investment in terms of time, patience, tolerance, nonsense absorbency and taste for shyt tests. The majority of men have very limited reserves of those premium attributes, and so are willing to invest that full package towards only promising LTR prospects, not plates.

 

[Gstring]

@GreatHornedOwl
He is what AMS calls natural alpha male.

 

[Grinderman]

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

This vibe is probably leaking out of your sub communications......

I think we can see here a true indifference mindset. Most guys would "next" by blocking and cutting off all the contact. This guy's mindset is probably "Well, if she doesn't want it (now), there are others who does. Maybe another day we can do it". Patience, indifference, true confidence.

Voila. He's outcome independent. Goes with the flow and self-amuses at the whole process.

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

Many won't get this. The alabaster girl. The art of seduction. Stopping to smell the roses. Enjoying art. Taking your time enjoying fine wine as apposed to knocking back a cheap pinot grigio and puking down an alleyway.

Too many are willing to hop on and ravage any female with a pulse who shows interest and then drop her because she took too long to answer a text and then feel all alpha about for showing those hoes how it be done. Desperate horn bags advising young men who live with their parents to take a 3 hour round trip drive at 1am just for the chance to jump the bones of random internet potential lay (when he should be getting a job and moving out of his parents home). Men who are going through a "dry patch" being advised to fvck below their standards (dumpster dive, bang fatties and uglies ) just to satisfy their carnal drive in the process creating/adding to the delusion of these self entitled females, rather than learning to master their desires (not being a slave to their desires) saying NO to dropping below their standards, saying NO to fatties and uglies and saying NO to dropping their standards.

Patience is a virtue.

 

[metalwater]

conversation game. it usually can win, not everyone can do it. in short, it raises the girl's interest level slowly like boiling a frog. it is the typical play of the guy named 'just a friend' or the one that doesn't have a name. the way it works is that the guy that is talking the most to the girl will get the most credits. whoever has the highest credits is green-lighted.

 

[manfrombelow]

Your friend might very well be bull****ting you and you bought it.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??"

I think a lot of guys take the word 'friendzone' too literally.
There's nothing wrong with being friendly with women...
The problem arises when a guy starts to 'simp' (for want of a better word)

Be friendly by all means, but don't kiss their rear-end - don't change your likes/opinions to match theirs - and definitely don't get drawn into running around doing favours for them.
Being 'friendly' works fine for me - I'll happily chat a while, until a better prospect comes along, even if she doesn't seem too interested...
You never know, that positive impression can pay dividends at a later day.

 

[MoMoses]

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

Don't be. Your friend does a lot of things right

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

Why is this one so confusing? He isn't showing neediness and acts unfazed by girls who blow him off. How is this any different from what guys on this forum are telling you? Holding your frame and not letting a woman know she got to you are of paramount importance in the seduction process. He does this perfectly.

As for the flakes: the opinions differ. Some dating gurus say you must never accept flakes, but I disagree. It all depends on what kind of flake it was. If a girl stone cold flakes on you without even sending an text... nah, don't even consider sending her a message ever again. When a girl flakes on you by cancelling a date a few hours before meeting up.. well, just let it slide off you and act like it isn't a problem. Chances are she'll meet up the next time because she is now relieved to see you didn't turn into a insecure, needy, butthurt beta male. I'm guessing this is how you friend reacts when being flaked on.

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

There are a lot of girls I dated that I wasn't aggressive with. You don't need to physically escalate to be considered confident. By showing intent and respecting a girl's boundaries she will feel that you are an alpha and she can become very attracted to you.

Again, I don't understand why this is confusing. You really do not need to aggresively escalate to show intent and confidence. Holding firm eye contact, walking up to her with your head held high and showing her you like her and wanna talk to her is very attractive. She will give you clear signals when she wants you to escalate.

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

He isn't falling into the friendzone because he is not acting like a nice guy. He is not trying to please these girls in order for them to sleep with him. He is being authentic and confident and probably has a bit of a slightly arrogant sense of humor. Am I right?

Guys put themselves into the friendzone. He doesn't put himself in that position so good 4 him.

There is nothing wrong with befriending a girl first. It's called building rapport and can do miracles. As long as you do not hide behind a "we're just platonic friends" wall or act all shy and weak around her but instead give her masculin vibes you won't be put into a friendzone very often.

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

Again: he isn't "acting" like a player, following rules he learned or heard about. He is confident in himself and this is attractive. I do not know your friend but I'm not surprised he gets girls based upon how you are describing him. He sounds like a natural. These are the kind of men I have learned a lot from!

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

This is even a good sign she likes him. Her girlfriends probably know all about him and he will charm the F*** out of them, which will make his love interest like him even more. Kittie cats compete. If she sees her girls are into him she will shift into a higher gear and make it really easy for him.

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

Here's a tip for you that has done miracles for me.. I got this one from Australian dating coach Dan bacon: ALWAYS ASSUME ATTRACTION.

This will change your life and I reckon your friend lives by this rule aswell. When you assume the girl likes you, you will act upon it. Most if the times a girl isn't consciously testing a guy. She just really isn't that interested and hence shows a lack of interest. Where most guys go wrong is that they take this lack of interest as a given fact and they next the girl or say she's too difficult. You got to create a spark first and when you assume attraction you will handle these "tests/lack of interest" in a very confident, natural attractive way. A girl will notice that her lack of enthusiasm slides right off you and does not effect you in any way. She will start to feel a little attracted...

It wasn't a test. She really didn't think you were her type, but then you did something most guys do not do: You were unfazed, kept your cool and show a co_cky kind of humor by teasing her a bit. She still acts uninterested and you still do not care.. the interest now grows even more. See where I'm going with this?

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

Live by certain life rules. Here are a few:

Never let them know they got to you. Keep your frame and act unfazed by whatever she throws at you.
Always assume she is attracted to you
And always act like you are happy with your life. Girls want to be in this kind of life. She wants to be part of it