Player friend's advice differs heavily from forum advice

[Focal core]

He’s not in control. He gets sympathy and rebound pvssy if any. He’ll get destroyed in divorce court.

This

 

[bat soup]

Now I know a lot of guys on this forum get plenty of action, but so does my friend, and his approach is vastly different.

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

He's probably doing massive volume.

I have a friend like that who's on every dating site you can imagine and his WhatsApp has about 100 conversations going at once.

What he's not doing is giving all of this attention to just one girl that's giving him bs. He's got volume, so what any one girl says or does doesn't matter too much.

 

[Clamslammer]

Girls with high IL don't flake on guys to "test" them. Though if your friend's strategy works, great. But, I'd be curious to peel away some layers: he may be banging chicks but are they top shelf or mid tier or lower? If a woman flakes on me I'm way too busy and have options so why would I chase? Just me though. Women are also programmed deep within their DNA to be more attracted to assertive guys who go for what they want in life and take the ball to hoop vs the timid type who don't. Just saying. You can't argue with nature, the law of the jungle, and 1000's of years of evolution. Still, it's good your friend even has a plan because most guys don't. Some of the recent "advice" I'm reading from guys here, mainly new members, is laughable and wouldn't work on their blow-up doll. Be careful who you listen to.

Cherry pick the best of the best in terms of advice and roll with it.

Good luck, brother.

Girls do flake on guys who they have high interest in. This forum thinks girls are black and white. Girls emotions are all over the place , the day of the date a girl may feel fat or have a giant pimple on her face and does not want the guy to see her like that. Once you become really good with woman and have confidence you will realize how insecure girls are and how much power a guy holds over a girl. The girl may look confident on the surface but deep down she knows she isnt and if she gets approached by a guy out of her league besides being good looking she will get intimidated and fold.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Girls do flake on guys who they have high interest in. This forum thinks girls are black and white. Girls emotions are all over the place , the day of the date a girl may feel fat or have a giant pimple on her face and does not want the guy to see her like that. Once you become really good with woman and have confidence you will realize how insecure girls are and how much power a guy holds over a girl. The girl may look confident on the surface but deep down she knows she isnt and if she gets approached by a guy out of her league besides being good looking she will get intimidated and fold.

Agree. But it's extremely rare.

Guys who say "She cancelled the date as a seduction move" are deluding themselves. She chose someone else. It happens.

The days of "playing hard to get" are over. If a girl breaks a date, flakes, whatever, 95% of the time she has a better option, not a pimple. 5%, or 1/20, maybe she's intimidated, is having a herpes breakout, or whatever.

Women will cross mountains and drop plans and do all sorts of crazy s*it to connect with a guy she's into. She knows how rare (and getting more rare by the day) a decent guy is these days.

Let's agree to disagree on this. Good luck.

 

[Clamslammer]

Agree. But it's extremely rare.

Guys who say "She cancelled the date as a seduction move" are deluding themselves. She chose someone else. It happens.

The days of "playing hard to get" are over. If a girl breaks a date, flakes, whatever, 95% of the time she has a better option, not a pimple. 5%, or 1/20, maybe she's intimidated, is having a herpes breakout, or whatever.

Women will cross mountains and drop plans and do all sorts of crazy s*it to connect with a guy she's into. She knows how rare (and getting more rare by the day) a decent guy is these days.

Let's agree to disagree on this. Good luck.

Agree on this. Guy needs to know if she is attracted to you and you should be able to tell right away the way she looks at you. Too many guys waste their time trying to raise a girls interest level. I would rather go on a date with a girl who looks at me with lust just like I do to her. The date will be way more fun and the connection will come by easier.

 

[Medina]

So basically he keeps them in chase mode

Which is no different from the advice this forum gives

 

[Dash Riprock]

. Too many guys waste their time trying to raise a girls interest level.

Great point. With experience comes the ability to know when to fish or cut bait.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Everything about creating attraction is mimicking what works naturally.

This guy just seems to enjoy what he's doing, and that creates attraction in the ladies.

He probably comes across as being extremely congruent, which is near impossible when trying any kind of artificial game.

A needy guy put in the friend zone is stuck for life.

A guy that genuinely doesn't mind being in the friend zone can use space that space to generate some serious attraction.

Kind of like a slow burn sales filter.

I doubt he gives it much thought.

People tend to think of personality as being a non issue.

No game will work with a unattractive personality.

Little game is needed with a genuine, confident, self liking alpha type.

Every idea about game is filtered through decades of people selling game to the socially awkward.

Kind of like people who suck at acting taking plenty of classes vs. people who are natural at acting.

Or public speaking any other social skill.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@Clamslammer @Dash Riprock

The surefire way to tell a woman's interest level is this:

How does she arrive for the first date? Hair, nails, makeup done? Dress? Skirt? - High Interest

Or does she just show up in jeans and her hair pulled back? - Low Interest

* if she shows up to date #1 wearing jeans and has her hair pulled back, she pretty much figures that hanging out with you tonight is better than sitting at home alone tonight. Cut bait with this girl.

Depends on what you are doing...if I am going hiking with a woman and she shows up like that I am gonna think she is a weirdo.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Date #1 is dinner or lounge.

Nobody goes hiking on a 1st date.

I do or walk and talk dates. Or minigolf. Fvck dinner.

I like action. I'm not down for boring ass interview dates.

 

[rjc149]

Generally speaking, the way a woman behaves before you've banged her, and after you've banged her, warrant two different genres of responses.

Before: bitchy and slightly disrespectful behavior is often a sh!t test. Don't let it rattle you, keep up the charm, but know when to walk.

After: b!tchy and slightly disrespectful behavior is either a sign of lowering interest (you're being too needy), or it could be "protest behavior" if she feels the emotional connection is threatened (you're being too aloof).

Sounds like your friend's MO primarily gets executed in the "before" phase, when unshakable, good-natured confidence will eventually win most women over.

It would also help to know if your friend is physically attractive. If so, he has a wider margin of error in the 'before' phase and also in the 'after' phase (although not as wide).

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Those all involve boring interview type conversations. Walk and talk?!?

Nah, they involve moving and seeing places and doing things which lead to numerous other topics of discussion. Don't tell me you are that boring.

 

[NSX-R]

i got no time to chit chat with many women . I weigh the possibilities and always take the ones with most interest. A woman testing if i really want her by flaking on a date , considering that she already knows my very tight schedule, it means massive disrespect to me because she doesn’t respect what i do and what i represent as a person . Plus she’s too narcissistic and selfish to fall so low and do that . It’s like making a business meeting and your client cancel to see if you have interest to do a deal . That’s stupid . As soon as you come in contact, it’s screaming that you want to make a deal .

I don’t care if she’s testing me .From where i come from they say , there are countless other orange trees who are making oranges.Asking her out and do meet with you it’s her test .

Still if it works for your dude , then he should stick with it . Most likely he doesn’t value his time and even more likely women is his first and only priority. If you say otherwise then you’re lying.

 

[Velasco]

His advice differs from the usual advice on here cuz he takes the longer route to get laid. Goes in with the intention of being their friend (making it highly incongruent of him to be physically aggressive with em' right off the bat like that) -> which gives him a chance to show the girls his personality over several days/weeks through in person meets and via texts. then when he feels like she likes him enough to want to bang, he goes for the close. classic natural game.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Now I know a lot of guys on this forum get plenty of action, but so does my friend, and his approach is vastly different.

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

Good for him. How's his life going?

 

[redskinsfan92]

i got no time to chit chat with many women . I weigh the possibilities and always take the ones with most interest. A woman testing if i really want her by flaking on a date , considering that she already knows my very tight schedule, it means massive disrespect to me because she doesn’t respect what i do and what i represent as a person . Plus she’s too narcissistic and selfish to fall so low and do that . It’s like making a business meeting and your client cancel to see if you have interest to do a deal . That’s stupid . As soon as you come in contact, it’s screaming that you want to make a deal .

I don’t care if she’s testing me .From where i come from they say , there are countless other orange trees who are making oranges.Asking her out and do meet with you it’s her test .

Still if it works for your dude , then he should stick with it . Most likely he doesn’t value his time and even more likely women is his first and only priority. If you say otherwise then you’re lying.

The cost of time wasted is very real for me. Time is finite. I have so many things I want to do that an evening wasted irritates me.

 

[NSX-R]

Nobody is THAT busy.

Successful people ARE very busy . The little free time they have they prefer to use it to workout, meet with their family and close friends snd bang their women , not talk to them . The reason they don’t have time to talk is because they give 100% at what they do and not multitasking by talking simultaneously with a chick that’s 50/50 possibility to bang while at the same time doing business deals.

 

[manfrombelow]

In short, OP's friend is:

- Indifferent
- Handles his emotions well
- Centered
- Handles sh!t test from women well
- Outcome independent
- Very patient
- Abundant in mindset

So he's really not that much different than the SS way. Although it's observable that he's quite alpha naturally.

 

[Rainman4707]

Be honest, is your friend very handsome? Because if he is, it doesn’t really matter what he does.

Disagree. You can look like brad pitt, but if you act needy..women are'nt interested.

A woman would choose an average looking guy who has game. Who knows womens minds. A man

Be honest, is your friend very handsome? Because if he is, it doesn’t really matter what he does.

Disagree. A guy can look like Brad pitt, but if he dose'nt know how to keep her attracted she will choose an average guy who has game everytime. Fact.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Nobody is THAT busy.

Agreed...I am as busy as anyone and it doesn't take much time to shoot out a few texts while you are taking a dump.

Or while on a boring ass conference call.
Or while waiting for code to compile.
Or while waiting for code to check out.
Or while waiting for deployments to finish.

If someone is that busy its likely because they are very poor at multi-tasking or at optimizing their time for efficiency.