Plate Stood Me Up

[EyeBRollin]

I'd say you're not ready for a LTR anyway. LTRs are for two people who compromise and help each other become the best version of themselves; not you who apparently purposefully doesn't give her attention, nor she, who simply doesn't turn up when she says she will.

You should know how juvenile the behaviour of both of you sounds.

A woman can not help me become the best version of myself. That journey is mine.

As for LTR, why get into one that is not on my terms?

 

[RangerMIke]

Im eagerly waiting for that post, to see if she comes back or not. He said the last one didnt.

I'm with you on this. Based on what he said about her actons, her attraction wasn't high enough for her to come back.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm with you on this. Based on what he said about her actons, her attraction wasn't high enough for her to come back.

What about her actions over the last three months was low interest?

 

[sazc]

What about her actions over the last three months was low interest?

D-OH! summbunnys gettin a lil butthurt!

you DO care!

 

[EyeBRollin]

D-OH! summbunnys gettin a lil butthurt!

you DO care!

We established this. She was qualifying for LTR. Wasn't completely sold on it yet.

 

[sazc]

We established this. She was qualifying for LTR. Wasn't completely sold on it yet.

sorry, things get lost in translation when typing (esp on this site) Bummer. Whatcha gonna do then?

 

[macallik]

As for my intentions with this chick.. I don't automatically move lays into the booty call department. Most of my consistent plates are qualifying for LTR. At this point I was 80-85% sold on her has a girlfriend. She showed (past tense!) consistent behavior, was flexible, giving, fun, etc. The yellow flag was her inconsistent commitment to healthy lifestyle. A long term woman is someone I intend on gaming successfully leading to marriage. I was monitoring that through the entire courtship.

So, to answer a few questions, I hadn't put her into the booty call only category at that phase in time. If she comes back sniffing around, that's where she'll be. She's out.

Prior to the last interaction, you treated her like a plate, but the last interaction (essentially insinuating you don't want to hang out if sex isn't involved) is booty call status.

She wasn't asking for exclusivity, she was asking for more attention. That is when it becomes your responsibility to have a conversation that says why you can or can't do that.

Additionally, the girl is calling and texting you incessantly so obviously she is interested. Clearly you are interested in her to some degree as well or else you would not have written this post. I guess why are you more willing to spend time checking and responding to this thread instead of one text to the girl prior to her flaking? Is it fear of rejection? Is it hoping to come across as indifferent/aloof? Is it something I am overlooking?

How many hot millennial women have you dated? P.s. it's a million times easier on the ego to think she left because you didn't want her, shows how little you understand the male.ego(understandably).

TBH sazc has the most sound advice in the thread based on my personal experience. You can't expect a woman with a decent amount of self-esteem to just be strung along indefinitely. Also, given the current dating climate, she has probably already experienced the situation previously and knows to cut ties early on now. I am not insinuating that OP should get into a relationship if he doesn't want one, I am saying that he needs to better communicate his interest/intentions with his plates if he wants to keep them in his life.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

ugh, hate women like that. it baffles me how they think men are so stupid that they can toss you out one week and you'll take them back a few weeks later. it's extremely disrespectful behavior to try and play with a man

Because men ARE that stupid. Women are too. People have so little self-esteem that they will take back hurtful people.

Of course she left. You treated her like a c-m dumpster. When you had the opportunity to reassure her you didn't use it.
She wanted some sort of emotional connection and there wasn't one. THAT is why plates drop off. Geezus, we talk about how women are all about the feels. In the next breath we talk about making them work for affection and spinning plates.

F-ck as many women as you want but if you want them to stay (and that's a big IF) then they want to know you care about them. That means more than regular saturday f-ck.

 

[RangerMIke]

What about her actions over the last three months was low interest?

Her actions indicated she had high interest but she was not acting like a woman in love. Women who are in love with you can't get enough of you... they bug the crap out of you and want ALL your time. They text you constantly and get sick when they are not around you. If you are looking for a LTR only agree to relationships with women acting like this, otherwise you are settling.

 

[sazc]

Her actions indicated she had high interest but she was not acting like a woman in love. Women who are in love with you can't get enough of you... they bug the crap out of you and want ALL your time. They text you constantly and get sick when they are not around you. If you are looking for a LTR only agree to relationships with women acting like this, otherwise you are settling.

I am in love with my boyfriend and I do not act like that. Just saying.

 

[BeTheChange]

Her actions indicated she had high interest but she was not acting like a woman in love. Women who are in love with you can't get enough of you... they bug the crap out of you and want ALL your time. They text you constantly and get sick when they are not around you. If you are looking for a LTR only agree to relationships with women acting like this, otherwise you are settling.

That's sounds more like a BPD.

 

[sazc]

That's sounds more like a BPD.

I was going to suggest that his description of a woman in love sounded like a very insecure female. But I don't like casting such a wide net of judgment.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Seems kinda hypicritical to be annoyed because a woman treated you just like you wanted to treat her, or are you pissed because she did it first.

Yup, what a *****. She must have been BPD. Obviously found another man already. [sarcasm].

 

[The Duke]

RangerMike- the type you described tends to be needy, insecure, jealous, co-dependent, and have low self-esteem.

That behavior you described should be considered a major red flag for long term potential.

That's why I like strong/independent women that everybody puts down so much! You don't have any of these issues of them being up your azz all the time.

 

[RangerMIke]

I am in love with my boyfriend and I do not act like that. Just saying.

Bullsh!t and you know it, the intital stages of romantic attraction is limerence and it is completely normal in initial romantic situations, if you didn't react like this with your boy friend I am afraid to tell you that you will lose interest in him and move on.:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

Without this phase effective long term bonding is difficult to create. If you are looking for a long term relationship and your girl is not acting like this your chances of making the LTR work will be difficutl if not impossible.

 

[RangerMIke]

That's sounds more like a BPD.

You don't know what BPD is. It is among the most over-used descriptions of female behavior on this forum. Limerence is a short term bio-chemical response in human beings and it's completely normal. It does not last, therefor it can not be considered a borderline personality disorder. BPD is a chronic condition.

 

[RangerMIke]

RangerMike- the type you described tends to be needy, insecure, jealous, co-dependent, and have low self-esteem.
That behavior you described should be considered a major red flag for long term potential. That's why I like strong/independent women that everybody puts down so much! You don't have any of these issues of them being up your azz all the time.

No wonder so many people on this sight do not understand women... truth is most of us apparently don't understand normal human behavior.... This is how women in limerence behave... Men in limerence act like clueless creepy stalkers. Eventually we all settle into attachment when this 'lust' period subsides which is always does. If you are with a woman who is not acting like this when you first start having sex, then your chances are building a lasting attachment is low.

 

[wifehunter]

Walk

 

[sazc]

Bullsh!t and you know it, the intital stages of romantic attraction is limerence and it is completely normal in initial romantic situations, if you didn't react like this with your boy friend I am afraid to tell you that you will lose interest in him and move on.:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

Without this phase effective long term bonding is difficult to create. If you are looking for a long term relationship and your girl is not acting like this your chances of making the LTR work will be difficutl if not impossible.

uhhh, okay... firstly, im not 12. secondly, 2 years and happy. I guess i'll tell him we're doomed..... lol

 

[RangerMIke]

uhhh, okay... firstly, im not 12. secondly, 2 years and happy. I guess i'll tell him we're doomed..... lol

One said you were 12 and no one said your relationship was doomed. But if you never went through limerence with your current BF science says the chances the relationship will fail goes up dramatically. Sorry that is a fact, it is an important part of the bonding process.

Congrats on 2 years, but I have underwear older than that.