Plate Spinning vs APPRECIATION

[guru1000]

The old IDEALOGY "You lose appreciation for what you have abundance of" rings in my head. Plate spinning has lowered my norm APPRECIATION.

My lack of APPRECIATION has also created low IL. I do not feel the HIGH anymore.

You run from what chases you. As your options grow, you find more women start pursuing you. You also find, it is harder to APPRECIATE any.

Scarcity happens to all of us. This is when you are most PRONE to APPRECIATE. With AVAILABILITY, you are least PRONE. At the same token with availability of options, in time plate spinning becomes MUNDANE. That being said, scarcity has an advantage.

Example/ Let us say you are born to love ice cream. If you were to have ice cream only once a month, your thoughts would be capitalized on that ICE CREAM DAY . You would appreciate it and love it. ICE CREAM DAY would be a celebration, a fiesta.

However if you were to have ice cream everyday, eventually it would become mundane and boring.

At the end of the day, there is equilibrium. It is a ZERO SUM GAME. If you have abundance , you have immediate gratification and loss of appreciation. If you are scarce, you SUBSTANTIALLY APPRECIATE when the drought is over.

Abundance of anything is not healthy. Moderation is the key.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I have failed at spinning plates so I am concentrating on one girl right now. Maybe that's what I need to do at this point to progress.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop treating all women exactly the same and you will be able to retain your appreciation of them; at least if they are deserving of it.

 

[ketostix]

What I find amusing or not so amusing really is the more you appreciate a girl the more she takes you for granted. It's one of the main reasons why "plate spinning" can increase females' attraction.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What I find amusing or not so amusing really is the more you appreciate a girl the more she takes you for granted. It's one of the main reasons why "plate spinning" can increase females' attraction.

I don't know man. If I get generous with my showing my appreciation the women I know try to get closer, even if they aren't a plate I'm spinning. What do you do that makes them start taking you for granted?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

My problem is appreciating them too much and then I end up in an LTR. I tried to spin but I failed miserably. I have a feeling I'm headed down the LTR path once again and I will probably get burned.

 

[guru1000]

I don't know man. If I get generous with my showing my appreciation the women I know try to get closer, even if they aren't a plate I'm spinning. What do you do that makes them start taking you for granted?

It is how you show your appreciation.

Showing appreciation out of NEEDINESS will push the girl back.

Shown appreciation from a man of character and strength will bring her closer.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It is how you show your appreciation.

Showing appreciation out of NEEDINESS will push the girl back.

Shown appreciation from a man of character and strength will bring her closer.

True, that's why I was curious about what ketostix does to make women try to take advantage of him.

 

[ketostix]

True, that's why I was curious about what ketostix does to make women try to take advantage of him.

I'm talking about the psychology of validation. Where you convey something true that's validating to a woman and once they have validation they lose attraction. I don't understand why you're questioning this. It's AFC 101 concept to not validate girls.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm talking about the psychology of validation...

No, not really. You were talking about appreciation which is an intrinsic function as opposed to validation. That's why my question to you was what specifically you were doing to make women take advantage of you when you showed appreciation. Are you saying that you were actually validating them?

 

[ketostix]

No, not really. You were talking about appreciation which is an intrinsic function as opposed to validation. That's why my question to you was what specifically you were doing to make women take advantage of you when you showed appreciation. Are you saying that you were actually validating them?

Appreciation, validation it is the same thing. You're splitting hairs and getting into semantic. I never said they took advantage of me. I said when a guy validates (appreciates) a woman she tend to take him for granted. It's simple human nature.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Appreciation is enjoying the time you spend with a woman, for what it is. Just enjoying it for that fact. As men, we should appreciate women for that reason.

Validation is placing your value as a man in a woman's hands. Most women do not want that responsibility.

As a general rule, do appreciate women for being women, and enjoy the time you spend with them. However, find validation within yourself. That's where your value as a man truly is.

 

[ketostix]

Appreciation is enjoying the time you spend with a woman, for what it is. Just enjoying it for that fact. As men, we should appreciate women for that reason.

Validation is placing your value as a man in a woman's hands. Most women do not want that responsibility.

As a general rule, do appreciate women for being women, and enjoy the time you spend with them. However, find validation within yourself. That's where your value as a man truly is.

Well I was talking about the woman's validation not the man's validation. I think the difference is in the word appreciation as in a noun and an internal thing a guy feels for a girl vs. expressing appreciation as a verb, where the woman gains validation. I was just expressing frustration that most women can't be appreciated (v.) without taking it for granted and how men can't really freely express their internal thoughts and feelings towards women. That idea sort of ties into the concept in Joekerr's thread about women not being protectors.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Well I was talking about the woman's validation not the man's validation. I think the difference is in the word appreciation as in a noun and an internal thing a guy feels for a girl vs. expressing appreciation as a verb, where the woman gains validation. I was just expressing frustration that most women can't be appreciated (v.) without taking it for granted and how men can't really freely express their internal thoughts and feelings towards women. That idea sort of ties into the concept in Joekerr's thread about women not being protectors.

OK..I'll edit.

Appreciation (for women) is enjoying the time she spends with a man, for what it is. Just enjoying it for that fact. As women, they should appreciate us men for that reason.

Validation is a woman placing her value as a woman, in a man's hands. Most men do not want that responsibility.

As a general rule, women should appreciate men for being men, and enjoy the time she spends with a man. However, she should find validation within herself. That's where her value as a woman truly is.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Appreciation, validation it is the same thing. You're splitting hairs and getting into semantic. I never said they took advantage of me. I said when a guy validates (appreciates) a woman she tend to take him for granted. It's simple human nature.

No, don't confuse your misconception with splitting hairs. That's more than likely the reason why women seem to take you for granted when you believe you are showing them appreciation. So why are you avoiding saying what you do to make them take you for granted?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I sincerely doubt that GURU has been so successful a plate spinner and has been so awash in sexual opportunities that it would inspire some introspection. Don't think this is a burn on you, but there are very few guys that have such a variety of plates to choose from or have done so for so long that it ever becomes mundane. Whenever I read or hear guys use this line it's due to them hooking up with a woman who they'd previously considered "out of their league" and they think that continuing to spin plates with her in tow is counterintuitive. This is the litmus test to determine whether you really believe in being a positively masculine DJ or if you're still an AFC playing DJ/PUA. Guy's who've killed their inner AFC don't contemplate how their attention and appreciation is perceived by women, they already know its value.

To put it bluntly, I don't think overabundance is generally the problem for the majority of guys coming to SS seeking advice.

 

[guru1000]

I sincerely doubt that GURU has been so successful a plate spinner and has been so awash in sexual opportunities that it would inspire some introspection. Don't think this is a burn on you, but there are very few guys that have such a variety of plates to choose from or have done so for so long that it ever becomes mundane. Whenever I read or hear guys use this line it's due to them hooking up with a woman who they'd previously considered "out of their league" and they think that continuing to spin plates with her in tow is counterintuitive. This is the litmus test to determine whether you really believe in being a positively masculine DJ or if you're still an AFC playing DJ/PUA. Guy's who've killed their inner AFC don't contemplate how their attention and appreciation is perceived by women, they already know its value.

To put it bluntly, I don't think overabundance is generally the problem for the majority of guys coming to SS seeking advice.

A true positive mature Masculine Man has confidence and options even in scarcity.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

..Guy's who've killed their inner AFC don't contemplate how their attention and appreciation is perceived by women, they already know its value....

Bingo! It's a readily recognized commodity. The problem (if you can call it that) is when its at a greater exchange rate than that of the other guys that they [women] encounter. They will then try purchase more than the market [the guy] can bear.

 

[MacAvoy]

I sincerely doubt that GURU has been so successful a plate spinner and has been so awash in sexual opportunities that it would inspire some introspection. Don't think this is a burn on you, but there are very few guys that have such a variety of plates to choose from or have done so for so long that it ever becomes mundane. Whenever I read or hear guys use this line it's due to them hooking up with a woman who they'd previously considered "out of their league" and they think that continuing to spin plates with her in tow is counterintuitive. This is the litmus test to determine whether you really believe in being a positively masculine DJ or if you're still an AFC playing DJ/PUA. Guy's who've killed their inner AFC don't contemplate how their attention and appreciation is perceived by women, they already know its value.

To put it bluntly, I don't think overabundance is generally the problem for the majority of guys coming to SS seeking advice.

This is one of the rare times where I'll quote RT and wholeheartedly agree with him (even though I believe in his Iron Rules). I can use myself as an example. I'm really good at developing FB's, but I've never been truly good at plate spinning.

When I tend to start dating higher quality women, I start dropping plates and it leads to my demise. Why do I start dropping plates you ask? Well because I'm actually being a good DJ to that point and they want to lock me up, tie me down in a LTR, and I see her as a good girl, and slowly commit more to her.

When I was doing the LDR, I was playing it perfectly, I gave her everything she wanted, but I was secretly fvcking like crazy here but gave the illusion of being 100% committed to her. But when I moved to be with her, I stopped spinning plates and within 6 months I was on my way of becoming the mayor of AFC'ville.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You're coming around MAC.