Plate got angry at me for seeing other women

[Velasco]

To be honest - I wasn’t so much confused by her demeanor at that point. I was actually completely turned off and annoyed and was planning my exit in as graceful a way as possible. So no matter what she had said at that point wouldn’t have changed the fact I was leaving. She clearly rethought things while in the bathroom but it was too late at that point.

why were you turned off and annoyed by her sht test? maybe because you take her comments seriously => which brought you into this state of mind so that when she was all over you after coming from the bathroom (should've been expected from her reaction to you passing her sht test), you didn't feel like fcking her anymore?

 

[Barrister]

why were you turned off and annoyed by her sht test? maybe because you take her comments seriously => which brought you into this state of mind so that when she was all over you after coming from the bathroom (should've been expected from her reaction to you passing her sht test), you didn't feel like fcking her anymore?

It wasn’t the fact she was asking. I have no problem when a woman asks. I think it’s a sign of high interest. It was her reaction to lecture me and say I’m a “wh0re” because I had slept with two other women in the past two weeks. Especially silly given her admission to sleeping with another man two days prior. I don’t have interest in fu*king someone who is going to try to control me with her vagina. If we agree to be completely exclusive because it’s what we both want then fine. But this manipulative, strong arm tactic to get what she wants is not attractive. Hence I left.

 

[Velasco]

What's the extra day have to do with this?

spend 3 days with a girl you just met (including a full entire day). it just kills the chase. she feels like she has you already has you, which you correctly intuited in your OP. i reserve full days, until at least 6+ meet and bangs. been with my girl for 2+ years and only recently went on a road trip with her.

 

[Velasco]

You're 27. When you get to be in your mid-30s, it gets tiring constantly dealing with chicks being like this.

my friend, you don't get to tell me how i should feel about anything

the game itself is very fun to me. which is why the thought of going out of friday night doesn't tire me out. maybe get your test checked? drink more water?

 

[Barrister]

Don't fall for it. It's in a woman's interest to know exactly what her Man is up to. Then she can adjust her strategy accordingly.

Knowledge is power. That's why women encourage men to be honest "Just tell me, Darling...it's okay. I'll respect you more. I promise"

Don't feel guilty about deceiving women. Women have an inbuilt deception mechanism. This is the true double standard. Women think it's okay to deceive men, but when a man uses her own tactics against her, suddenly it's a problem.

Theres some things when it comes to dynamics between men and women I agree with your reasoning. When it comes to this specific situation with plate spinning I don’t. If a woman is going to stop seeing me because I’m seeing other women then so be it. I think generally speaking these women already know you’re seeing other women. The test is more about your answer. I’m sure you’ll lose plates doing it this way. But isn’t that part of the whole abundance mindset? I’d rather have a couple of plates who were completely clear on where we stood with each other than having to keep up some facade where she thinks I’m only seeing her. That’s just me.

Your reasoning is sound. It’s just not my style on this.

 

[Velasco]

men want to spread their seed to as many suitors as possible.

women want the top guy. if you are her top guy, it kills her motivation to go out and keep looking for new dck

be the top guy and don't worry about her.

and its not just bullsht i tell myself. my girl could be banging a billion guys cuz she's very attractive. yet she chooses not to exercise her options cuz i'm the best there is.

 

[Barrister]

All i've saying is you're trying to set a standard of honesty and transparency with creatures (women) who are pathologically deceptive. All you're doing is disadvantaging yourself.

You think your honesty will be rewarded with honesty, in turn, from women. This is completely wrong. She'll be licking her lips and plotting your downfall.

I'm not judging women. They have evolved a system of manipulation that is impressive. Read the book The Manipulated Man for more details on this.

I guess at the end of the day I have some principles - and not just to this specific situation. I’m a very direct and honest person. I don’t feel like I’ve ever been put at a disadvantage by it when it comes to plate spinning (maybe in other facets of life ha). Like I said I’ve gotten positive reactions from it in the past. This one woman who gave a negative reaction just did me a favor and she eliminated herself from my rotation unless she apologizes. I know she won’t and I really don’t care.

Not a knock on what you’re saying. If it works for you then great. But I’m not going to change my approach with this.

 

[Velasco]

Don't fall for it. It's in a woman's interest to know exactly what her Man is up to. Then she can adjust her strategy accordingly.

Knowledge is power. That's why women encourage men to be honest "Just tell me, Darling...it's okay. I'll respect you more. I promise"

Don't feel guilty about deceiving women. Women have an inbuilt deception mechanism. This is the true double standard. Women think it's okay to deceive men, but when a man uses her own tactics against her, suddenly it's a problem.

wise words

 

[Barrister]

Fair enough, but I think exposing yourself to women is not a smart idea if your goal is success with women.

You don't have to lie. You just don't answer her questions directly and keep her guessing. The benefit to this is you are occupying her thoughts 100% of the time while she's trying to figure you out. This is when you get validational sex from a woman who is desperately trying to penetrate your frame.

What you are subconsciously projecting with your "I just want to be honest, direct and principled" is you actually want women to be this way. It's a classic thing that men do. They project behaviors that they want their women to emulate. The problem with this is a fundamental misunderstanding of what women actually are. Women's entire survival and sexual strategy is based on manipulation. You're bringing a knife to a gun fight if you project honesty onto women.

On the other hand - she’s not manipulating anything here. Her behavior was ridiculous and I left. Case closed. Maybe she’ll learn before she gets to the next guy. This isn’t about me projecting honesty onto her. It’a about the fact she assumes she can guilt trip me about banging two other chicks when she and I aren’t exclusive and being judgmental. No thanks.

You’re assuming I want this woman just because she’s attractive and has a vagina. If my mindset is just to fu*k as many women as possible then your strategy is almost certainly better than mine. No arguments there. But that’s not my end goal. I want to bang women, but I’ve gotten old enough and had enough women and deal with enough sh1t during my normal day I don’t need more of it from a chick who is just a plate and isn’t an LTR. That just doesn’t interest me - even if I could get some sex out of it.

 

[Velasco]

On the other hand - she’s not manipulating anything here.

But this manipulative, strong arm tactic to get what she wants is not attractive. Hence I left.

?
it's her nature to be manipulative. this shouldn't turn you off. its accepting her for what she is, rather than what we wish her to be. i know my girl tries to manipulate me. my mom. my female cousin. my aunt. my female boss. i don't get turned off. i know she's just trying to get me to do what she wants. its unfortunate for her that i'm just better at them at their own game so for me its entertaining.

 

[BeExcellent]

It's not a double standard at all.

It's easy for women to get laid. It's so easy, in fact, that it's disgusting (both men and women find promiscuous women disgusting).

It's not easy for men to get laid. It's so difficult, in fact, that men who regularly get laid are revered as Chads.

It's not a double standard when women require their men to be pre-selected. Men, on the other hand, do not find pre-selected women with battered meat curtains and thousand c0ck stare attractive. Quite the opposite.

You're falling for the gender dysphoric "men and women are the same, and should be held to the same standards" fallacy. You're comparing squirrels with tigers.

It is a double standard as you frame it.

Particularly when you are talking about very desirable people who have lots of options. Chads and HB9’s let’s say. Chads have tons of women after them. HB9s have tons of men after her. Both end up being selective and both can afford to discriminate

HB9s know they are desirable. Chads know they are desirable. Neither is going to entertain substandard sexual options. They are going to select only from those they choose because they CAN. The other 95% of people who would jump at the chance to bang them DO NOT exist. Those myriads are invisible. So the idea that beautiful women or Chads can always get laid easily is false. Not with people who meet their standard, because people who meet their standard (at or above their SMV) are rare to start with as compared to the general public.

Because people this attractive (of either gender) are so desirable other people at the same SMV gravitate to one another.

So a HB9 might have 2 Chads interested in her...never mind all the other thirsty men. They are screened out already.

A Chad might have 2 HB9s interested in him...(never mind all the 7s and 8s etc.).

So both people preselect because both have the value within the marketplace to do so.

And both are on equal footing and entitled to evaluate their preselected options who meet their criteria.

This doesn’t make the HB9 promiscuous.

Screwing any man who gives her attention without meeting a standard would be promiscuous. That’s not what I’m talking about.

Really desirable people have qualified options presenting themselves all the time.

A woman exploring her options is not automatically promiscuous. This is your shame & judgement revealing itself.

My playboy friend really is a bit of a s l u t honestly. He has days with a fair bit of frequency where he wakes up with one woman, bangs her, has a nooner afternoon session with another woman (he offices at home), and has another woman over later in the evening. So he has days where he gets laid by 3 different women in a 12 hour period.

He’s a rather extreme example, granted, but he has that level of abundance. He could care less if the girls bang other men. He prefers they do frankly. Keeps them from fixating on him and lessens his burden of responsibility if they get too attached & get hurt.

And he is utterly transparent with ALL of them. He will tell a girl she’s got to go because another girl is coming over and he shows his calendar to any woman he gets involved with. If they don’t like it they are free to go. It’s totally honest & open. They can stay or go.

 

[Barrister]

I understand, and I feel you.

Unfortunately, because of their fundamental nature, you will always be dealing with sh1t from women. This is why some men decide to go MGTOW and stop dealing with women altogether. The sh1t comes the territory, and the only way to manage it is to be smarter than her and stay several steps ahead (without her even realising it). Then you can manage her behavior with both eyes open.

What's even worse is guys in your position feel they make progress with women and get things low-drama, honest and transparent. And then BAM, she pulls some sh1t and you realise she was just mirroring you and was plotting evil the entire time. This sends guys blackpill.

I get it though. It does get tiring. I go through periods where I want nothing to do with it.

At the end of the day I love women too much to cut them out of my life. I do fairly well with women and always have. I do get irritated easily by certain behaviors and these result in me nexting. My kill count is probably much lower than it could be because of that. And I’m fine with that. Dating is a small part of my life. Like I said I only have time for 2 plates maximum. And so I want them to be good ones. And I’d rather invest my time elsewhere than with a sh1tty plate altogether.

 

[BeExcellent]

More false equivalencies.

ALL women are highly desired now. Even a HB 1 with cerebral palsy can get a Brad Pitt look-a-like to d!ck her down and probably even marry her. The problem with the HB 1 with cerebral palsy will dumped the Brad Pitt look-a-like because she "never settles for less"

Even Chads have to work to get laid. This idea that there is a layer of upper-echelon men who women just through themselves at is a lie. The Chads still have to Game to get laid. The difference is the Chad's Game produces results. Average guys still struggle, even with top shelf Game.

Comparing men and women and trying to say "hey look, men and men experience life in the same way" is trannie gender dysphoria weirdness.

Nothing I have said is untrue and name calling does not change that.

My exBF is a Chad. Women threw themselves at him everywhere we went. He is also an enormous player (employing deception to entice women). His kill count by his own estimation is over 1000. So this notion that he had to work to get laid is laughable. All he had to do was send a couple of texts to the Rolodex of women in his phone. Nevermind new women who wanted him.

My playboy friend is a Chad-lite. He has a kill count somewhere north of 500. He had a GF until last summer. He kept count of new lays (not counting his established Rolodex) after the break up. I think he’s at 40 or so since last July *new* lays...pandemic and all, and that’s even though he cleared his entire calendar for about 2 months last fall for a girl he particularly liked...

I should note that these men are 49 and 52, respectively. So they’ve had years to accumulate the kill count. And they both get into relationships from time to time.

And all women are not universally desirable. But the HB8s and up are.

 

[BeExcellent]

Chads still have to work because they still have to approach and hit-up women with proper calibrated behavior and Game.
Women, even HB 1's, just sit back and get endless d!cks thrown at them.

A woman cannot identify a man as a "Chad" unless the man presents himself to her, and communicates the frame. This is work. It's hard work.

Women turn up with their vagina. Men have to self-actualize and grow into a fully-realised Chad. Women "Just Are", Men Become. Men have a constant burden of performance.

Your supposedly ex-Chad bfs had women throw themselves at him because he "worked" himself into a position where he had communicated his value to women.

Men perform, Women select.

This I agree with. However once a man has got up that learning curve (and granted it’s a steeper learning curve for some relative to others) then it is easy.

My exBF and I would be out at clubs for example and women would approach him, touch his arms or his chest, and literally rub up against him. This happened all the time. The women would see us dance (we are accomplished Latin dancers) and they would be all over him when he went to get us drinks or went to socialize. He would always tell me he never got so much attention before we dated (I think that was flattery to a degree) but I did rep him well. We were a beautiful couple and I made him look good.

Similar is my playboy friend. He gets selected constantly (like 50 swipes a day) from women in OLD platforms. Women do not swarm him in real life like they do my exBF, but if he approaches almost nobody turns him away. And he is fearless in approaching. Which yes he had to learn.

But women develop too. I did not know I was pretty in my teens. That wasn’t emphasized in my home. Academics and achievement and intelligence and social graces were. So I didn’t understand male attention or what to do with it myself until I was 20 or so...and even then I was pretty awkward for a while. I got over it obviously. But I was never trained up to trade on my looks. My looks were always an afterthought or a bonus until I learned how much value OTHER people put on them. So that took some calibrating in my 20s.

But now people would always assume that I had been brought up knowing how to leverage my looks. Fact is I never leveraged my looks. I became the cool girl or the down to Earth girl who happened to be hot. Obviously I understand how to package that advantage now...but I never leveraged it like so many women do, and my intrinsic value within myself has never been driven by my appearance. For that reason I come across in real life as very real and genuine, which these highly desirable men find charming and disarming. Most beautiful women are very vain and stuck up about their looks. I’ve never been that way. So this is something desirable men find intriguing about me.

There are always outliers.

I think the thing that irks me about your attitude Pan is the subtle bitterness you seem to me to have about your perception of a man’s lot in the “Game”. The landscape is what it is. I didn’t create it, neither did you. Accepting the landscape (the burden on men to approach for example) will relieve you of this bitterness. Trust me. I’m perfectly direct. There are times I’ve said F it, and I’ve approached a hot guy that I liked. It doesn’t work. And I’m not afraid of rejection whatsoever...I have accepted the landscape. Being bitter about it is like fighting the tide. Utterly futile and not worth the emotional bandwidth.

Cheers

 

[Black Widow Void]

Then she went to the bathroom and came back and her entire demeanor was different. Suddenly she was feeling me up and was definitely DTF. However, I was completely turned off at that point. I told her it was late and I was going to be getting back. So I got up and left.

A lot (heck, probably most) men would have sold out their self-worth and inadvertently 'rewarded' her bad behavior with validation and attention. You didn't.

I usually roll my eyes when I see the overuse of the word "alpha" ... because it's usually used as a self 'measuring contest' toward/against other men. Real strength is setting your own terms and owning yourself... and you my friend, are an example of a man possessing self-respect.

Cheers!

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

Last night I met a woman for some drinks. We hadn’t hung out in 2.5 weeks or so. We went back to her place and she proceeded to want to know why I hadn’t texted her in that time. I said we had texted and she said “yeah because I reached out.” Then she wanted to know if I was sleeping with other women. I said I was. She then told me she had slept with someone two days prior. I said “ok - we aren’t exclusive so no big deal.” She then got really sh1tty and wanted to know “how many” I had slept with. I told her I slept with two different people in that timeframe. She then started going on and on about how she wasn’t going to sleep with a “wh0re” so if that’s what I wanted then she couldn’t see me anymore. I said “that’s fine - but I am not ready to exclusive with anyone. So if we’re done that’s OK.” She said “I don’t know I’m going to think about it.”

Then she went to the bathroom and came back and her entire demeanor was different. Suddenly she was feeling me up and was definitely DTF. However, I was completely turned off at that point. I told her it was late and I was going to be getting back. So I got up and left. She was stunned I was leaving I think. I think the plate is broken.

Maybe dumb since I could still sleep with her if I hadn’t left. It’s just exhausting having to even deal with that sh1t. Are you other DJs just not honest about seeing others and give the impression you’re only seeing them when this happens? I don’t have the energy for it.

she got hot because she knew you been with other women , you should have fooked, she was probably GUSHING. it would have been the wettest ***** you ever had, dont let **** like that get you down because tbh, the fact you had other women turned her on. remember women are backwards and competitive. she wanted to out**** those other girls.
especially if you told her you slept with other women , usually you just say something like... when im with you i dont want to talk about other girls , im with you
this gets her imagination running wild, '' how many? are they hotter than me?''
I said “that’s fine - but I am not ready to exclusive with anyone. So if we’re done that’s OK.” << FVCK YEAA

She said “I don’t know I’m going to think about it.” = DAMN HE HAS OTHER GIRLS THAT ARE SEXIER IF HE IS WILLING TO DROP ME THIS FAST , I WANT HIM NOW
only thing you did wrong here brother was let the cannon fodder frustrate you

 

[Barrister]

A lot (heck, probably most) men would have sold out their self-worth and inadvertently 'rewarded' her bad behavior with validation and attention. You didn't.

I usually roll my eyes when I see the overuse of the word "alpha" ... because it's usually used as a self 'measuring contest' toward/against other men. Real strength is setting your own terms and owning yourself... and you my friend, are an example of a man possessing self-respect.

Cheers!

Thank you — I think it was a good move on my part too. I’m not going to sell out just for a chance to bang someone.

 

[Sir FB]

This is a great thread and a subject I have struggled with as well. I want to be honest and act with integrity but my experience is that complete, immediate, overt disclosure is not always the best way to communicate with women. As I read the discourse between Pan87 and BeExcellent. I thought of something I read recently. "Asking a woman for dating advice is like asking Osama Bin Laden where the terrorist camps are".

Lastly, I think that women natively communicate overtly. By refusing to answer, or making a joke, it's quite possible that you are being completely honest, but communicating in her language. When men speak with each other, we expect overt, upfront communication. When we try that with women, we often get the response that the OP got.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

More false equivalencies.

ALL women are highly desired now. Even a HB 1 with cerebral palsy can get a Brad Pitt look-a-like to d!ck her down and probably even marry her. The problem with the HB 1 with cerebral palsy is she will dump the Brad Pitt look-a-like because she "never settles for less"

Even Chads have to work to get laid. This idea that there is a layer of upper-echelon men who women just throw themselves at is a lie. The Chads still have to Game to get laid. The difference is the Chad's Game produces results. Average guys still struggle, even with top shelf Game.

Comparing men and women and trying to say "hey look, men and men experience life in the same way" is trannie gender dysphoria weirdness.

No it isn't. I've seen hot women at clubs throwing themselves at one of my friends routinely. He has gone outside and banged several behind the dumpsters in the times I was out with him...

 

[TheNewStyle123]

@Barrister You haven't been seeing her for that long, so I think you did the right thing. I always tell women I've been seeing less than three months a flat out 'Yes. I'm seeing other girls.'

You didn't ruin a thing with this girl. She'll reach out in the next few days. I'm almost sure of it.

You acted with an abundance mindset, showed willingness to walk away (and actually did walk away).

You're a challenge to this girl. You're good.

@Barrister I'm with @Hank Moody on this one! I think you demonstrated a great abundance mindset with your willingness to walk. Plus, if you were generally turned off and not feeling it with her that night due to her actions - of course you would want to walk. I think the fact that you took action and left shows her that you won't put up with bullsh!t like that. I think in turn this may make her 'behave' a little better next time.

It's tough when it comes to transparency. I struggle with it like you. I usually approach things with full honesty, but recently I have been employing less discretion with women with positive results. It's like most guys on here will tell you - not showing your entire hand will definitely keep the hamster wheel spinning, but you don't want to be labeled as a flat out liar if she were to find out some details.

@MoMoses and @Pan87 gave me some good one liners in the past when approached with overt communication from a woman:
"That's not really the sort of question a gentleman answers" *wink wink*
"Yes, I'm dating other women. Why? Are you jealous?" or "Yes, I'm seeing other women but nothing serious"

or when she asked if you were sleeping with other women say something along the lines of "you mean just this morning? " or "are you? Why do you ask?" (that one is from @Lookatu)