Plate comes over, refuses sex so I sent her packing

[Infern0]

She came at my place, everytime she did, we had sex except for once when she was in the middle of period. As soon as she entered she said "what's that on your neck, someone kissed you there?" I was like "Hm, no." And she went on and on. Didn't stop me from grabbing her ass and laying her in bed, stick my D out, rubbed it against her pants, but she started acting like she didn't want to. So I said to hell with all the useless games, got up, put my underwear and pants back on and told her to take her things and leave. In this moment, she started acting like a puppy, trying to hug me and touch me all over, but my mood was ruined already so I told her to pack and leave. She said the classic "you only want me for sex" and I told her "If you wanted to discuss any problems that you might have with me or our relation/communication, we could have gone out for a drink, you didn't need to come to my place." Also, today morning I sent her a text saying "I am gonna eat you up like candy" and she smiled. My gut feeling tells me I did the right thing.

Opinions?

If she start's "acting like she doesn't want to" then you back up, use some humor, change the subject off the drama crap and then it happens a little bit later on.

You set the mood, she came over, she's obviously down to hook up but you let her insecurity degrade into a "situation" then threw a hissy fit and kicked her out because she "killed your mood" (which by the way isn't a phrase i've ever heard a male say before)

I'm not being funny but from what I can make of this you lost your frame a while ago (which is why she is testing you, because she doubts your manhood) and are now down in the muck playing games on her level.

"alpha males" dont get cut and kick their girl out for not putting out if they don't feel like it, they create the situation for the girl to feel like it.

Sorry dude, but this was a fail on YOUR part

 

[AJ84]

Hot girls making all men wait is borderline unicorn in the West, I hope you know.

My position is, I will wait as long as the fastest man you slept with and not a second longer. If I find out you made me wait longer, I will simply no longer trust your interest in me as genuine.

Would women want to believe they were being used for some purpose other than genuine sexual attraction? Something interesting, I noticed when speaking with women to NEVER say "looks aren't that important" because they want to believe you chose them as anything other than every bit as beautiful as anyone from your past.

You’re right women want to be desired, but many don’t want to be used as a blow up sex doll, only there to get him off and he has zero cares about her as a person.

When you sleep with a woman, you hope that she’s with you because she’s attracted to you, not your money or connections or whatever else external factor, when women sleep with men, they usually hope that he’s with her not ONLY because of the sex. It’s important of course but some women hope that he is interested in her as a person too, not just a girl he’s sticking it in and that’s it.

Some women don’t care or course lol, I’m referring to the average woman.

 

[Infern0]

You’re right women want to be desired, but many don’t want to be used as a blow up sex doll, only there to get him off and he has zero cares about her as a person.

When you sleep with a woman, you hope that she’s with you because she’s attracted to you, not your money or connections or whatever else external factor, when women sleep with men, they usually hope that he’s with her not ONLY because of the sex. It’s important of course but some women hope that he is interested in her as a person too, not just a girl he’s sticking it in and that’s it.

Some women don’t care or course lol, I’m referring to the average woman.

This really depends on if it's a hook up or a more regular sort of thing.

If it's the former then it's really just looks and a tolerable personality, if its more than that then yeah the criteria broadens

 

[backseatjuan]

@AJ84 You talk about girls as though they are some sort of creature, an alien of some sort, that needs to build up sexual tension and get ready for sex and stuff. You making simple stuff complicated. Sure whatever, you can make him wait, but at the end of the day for a guy to know wtf he's getting it at he must have sex with you, he must live with you for a while, before he can decide if he wants a commited relationship with you. A lot of things can go wrong, and you playing games just make the man more confused and making poor decisions which in the long run will lead to sex trade, you do that and I will f you. I'm just telling you, woman which runs a game has no value and will not be looked on as anything more than a fling.

 

[AJ84]

@AJ84 You talk about girls as though they are some sort of creature, an alien of some sort, that needs to build up sexual tension and get ready for sex and stuff. You making simple stuff complicated. Sure whatever, you can make him wait, but at the end of the day for a guy to know wtf he's getting it at he must have sex with you, he must live with you for a while, before he can decide if he wants a commited relationship with you. A lot of things can go wrong, and you playing games just make the man more confused and making poor decisions which in the long run will lead to sex trade, you do that and I will f you.. Whatever, I'm just telling you, woman which runs a game has no value and will not be looked on as anything more than a fling.

Throwing insults, always mature.
If a girl not putting out on day two is seem as a game to you, boy, are you in for some unpleasant surprises.
Good luck with that.

 

[Stoic]

Saying a womans actions have the power to negatively impact your mood makes you look weak and childish. You are responsible for your mood and frame of mind at all times.

 

[Serenity]

She is a declared NPD and is spoiled as hell.

Sigh... Why do so many guys here knowingly entertain mentally ill women? Mention one single case where that worked out or was worth it! You won't find it, because it never works out.

 

[lizardking82]

If she start's "acting like she doesn't want to" then you back up, use some humor, change the subject off the drama crap and then it happens a little bit later on.

You set the mood, she came over, she's obviously down to hook up but you let her insecurity degrade into a "situation" then threw a hissy fit and kicked her out because she "killed your mood" (which by the way isn't a phrase i've ever heard a male say before)

I'm not being funny but from what I can make of this you lost your frame a while ago (which is why she is testing you, because she doubts your manhood) and are now down in the muck playing games on her level.

"alpha males" dont get cut and kick their girl out for not putting out if they don't feel like it, they create the situation for the girl to feel like it.

Sorry dude, but this was a fail on YOUR part

There was no time for that, I had to leave in about half an hour later. She knew that, told her I will be working a bit later so we only have about 45 minutes time altogether. I had another girl come over yesterday, wasn't short on time, played it smoothly, everything happened and sweetly. I don't have problems making women feel like banging, this was a specific case.

 

[lizardking82]

Saying a womans actions have the power to negatively impact your mood makes you look weak and childish. You are responsible for your mood and frame of mind at all times.

Yeah, I know we have some very stoic guys here who don't let their mood get affected by anything else other than themselves LOL get over it, things happen in life and micro or macro change our mood. If you guys think a woman in your life changing your mood is something weak and childish, so be it. People in our life have the ability to modify our moods depending on the power we give them over our moods. This girl has little power over my mood most of the time, but this time the situation was a bit specific and mixed with her behaviour, it messed with my mood for about an hour. Than it was good, I shot the pics and they turned out beautiful.

 

[lizardking82]

Sigh... Why do so many guys here knowingly entertain mentally ill women? Mention one single case where that worked out or was worth it! You won't find it, because it never works out.

Yeah, you're right. The sex was hot. She was moaning and screaming like she was getting exorcized, I kid you not. However, I will drop her off, not worth the drama.

 

[Infern0]

Yeah, I know we have some very stoic guys here who don't let their mood get affected by anything else other than themselves LOL get over it, things happen in life and micro or macro change our mood. If you guys think a woman in your life changing your mood is something weak and childish, so be it. People in our life have the ability to modify our moods depending on the power we give them over our moods. This girl has little power over my mood most of the time, but this time the situation was a bit specific and mixed with her behaviour, it messed with my mood for about an hour. Than it was good, I shot the pics and they turned out beautiful.

for sure sometimes you can't control your mood but the real skill is learning to review what happened after the fact and admit "yeah, maybe i could have handled that a little better" then do better the next time.

It takes guts to admit you were wrong

 

[backseatjuan]

@AJ84 I have not thrown an insult at you, firstly. Secondly no sex on second date is not a big deal, the most important part is for her to be genuine. Tagging a guy along for x amount of dates is before sex is not genuine, it is control.

 

[AJ84]

@AJ84 I have not thrown an insult at you, firstly. Secondly no sex on second date is not a big deal, the most important part is for her to be genuine. Tagging a guy along for x amount of dates is before sex is not genuine, it is control.

You’re right it is not good to be tagged along like that. Not arguing that and I know some women do that.
Being genuine is definitely ideal for men and women. No one wants to be tagged along with the promise of sex or a relationship etc.

 

[AJ84]

Do you believe the average women has never had casual sex?

No, the average woman has had casual sex, and some realize that it’s not the way to be worthy of his investment, and some don’t. And some don’t care anyway lol.
I’m not saying women are pure lol but I’m saying that some women don’t want to have causal no strings sex arrangements with guys. Some women want more and they know if they establish themselves as an easy lay f**k buddy it will be hard to transition that to gf. Maybe he doesn’t want anything more from her than what she establish ie casual sex. So turning the tables and sh*t testing will of course be met with frustration on his end, understandably.
It would be like a guy who is in a relationship with a girl, deciding that he wants to switch to a casual FWB situation, after a relationship has been established.

 

[backseatjuan]

It's like having a wife and all the problems of a marriage without even having sex with a girl, we got it! Get him invested with his money, and weed out the weak and poor. I can give a suggestion to your game though, you can offer to pay for half the guy's bill on your dates, that way you show him you are a serious long term relationship consideration, think about it, no other women do it, you will be different from the rest!

 

[AJ84]

It's like having a wife and all the problems of a marriage without even having sex with a girl, we got it! Get him invested with his money, and weed out the weak and poor. I can give a suggestion to your game though, you can offer to pay for half the guy's bill on your dates, that way you show him you are a serious long term relationship consideration, think about it, no other women do it, you will be different from the rest!

Hahaha I totally think women should be paying half or taking turns paying, which is how I did it with my now husband. He paid for the first date and I paid for the second and we continue to do it that way.
I mentioned this before on another thread but a girl expecting a guy to pay for everything is a red flag. No one is that special that they are entitled to that kind of treatment and if they think they are, that’s a prelude to what a relationship with them would be like.

I think we’re on the same page there.

 

[Spaz]

@backseatjuan u certainly know how to entertain a guy in a good way.

Me and my buddies are laughing at ur posts whilst drinking hahaha

Keep up the good work!

 

[lizardking82]

for sure sometimes you can't control your mood but the real skill is learning to review what happened after the fact and admit "yeah, maybe i could have handled that a little better" then do better the next time.

It takes guts to admit you were wrong

Well, with what I have seen around here, I am one of the few guys who admist his wrongs when he is wrong. I never said I handled it best, but I have to "argue" with you because there a lot of things one doesn't know about the other guy in a forum so I have to fill in. I am here to read new perspectives and get better from that.

 

[AJ84]

You understand we men are not too interested gambling on the authenticity of your journey of self growth and awareness into some pseudo born again virgin, rather we want authenticity.

I get that, and you get that women usually don’t like taking a gamble either and also want authenticity.
However when it comes to dating and looking for a relationship out of it (not to be confused with looking for casual hook ups), its impossible to avoid taking some risk.
Which sucks but that’s how it is.

 

[AJ84]

Well, with what I have seen around here, I am one of the few guys who admist his wrongs when he is wrong. I never said I handled it best, but I have to "argue" with you because there a lot of things one doesn't know about the other guy in a forum so I have to fill in. I am here to read new perspectives and get better from that.

Now that you provided more info on this woman, I better understand your reaction.