Plate comes over, refuses sex so I sent her packing

[lizardking82]

She came at my place, everytime she did, we had sex except for once when she was in the middle of period. As soon as she entered she said "what's that on your neck, someone kissed you there?" I was like "Hm, no." And she went on and on. Didn't stop me from grabbing her ass and laying her in bed, stick my D out, rubbed it against her pants, but she started acting like she didn't want to. So I said to hell with all the useless games, got up, put my underwear and pants back on and told her to take her things and leave. In this moment, she started acting like a puppy, trying to hug me and touch me all over, but my mood was ruined already so I told her to pack and leave. She said the classic "you only want me for sex" and I told her "If you wanted to discuss any problems that you might have with me or our relation/communication, we could have gone out for a drink, you didn't need to come to my place." Also, today morning I sent her a text saying "I am gonna eat you up like candy" and she smiled. My gut feeling tells me I did the right thing.

Opinions?

 

[backseatjuan]

I want to see this thing unfold, with you not reaching out to her.

 

[lizardking82]

Yeah, I want to see that, too. Will update here if anything happens later, I am curious what other guys got to say, too.

 

[AJ84]

Not a guy but seems like she knows you only want her for sex so now she may be trying to reverse whatever casual no strings situation you both set up.

Which is hard do to if she already accepted just being a f**k buddy.

If you are not interested in her for anything other than sex, I wouldn’t change anything, continue as is and let her weed herself if she gets tired of being used. But don’t imply that it’s more than it is unless you enjoy sh*t tests.

 

[sazc]

What's the backstory to this?

How long have you been seeing her? Do you guys go out on 'dates'? Or do you just have sex?

From what you describe, it seems to me like She's not looking for just a plate situation. So I'm wondering if that agreement/insinuation was all one-sided/only in your head?

Just curious.

 

[AJ84]

What's the backstory to this?

How long have you been seeing her? Do you guys go out on 'dates'? Or do you just have sex?

From what you describe, it seems to me like She's not looking for just a plate situation. So I'm wondering if that agreement/insinuation was all one-sided/only in your head?

Just curious.

Good question. But you know how some girls don’t get that if he just sees her for sex then she’s not his gf, she’s a warm body, basically. Like they didn’t read the girl book on dating and how to avoid being used .
I’ve met dumb girls like that, heck I was dumb like that once myself.
Maybe she’s dumb or maybe he is leading her on, and she’s not putting two and two together for whatever reason. Personally, IMO, being told to get dressed and leave because you’re not putting out is a clear sign that that’s all he wants from you but let’s see if she gets that lol.

 

[Spaz]

She came at my place, everytime she did, we had sex except for once when she was in the middle of period. As soon as she entered she said "what's that on your neck, someone kissed you there?" I was like "Hm, no." And she went on and on. Didn't stop me from grabbing her ass and laying her in bed, stick my D out, rubbed it against her pants, but she started acting like she didn't want to. So I said to hell with all the useless games, got up, put my underwear and pants back on and told her to take her things and leave. In this moment, she started acting like a puppy, trying to hug me and touch me all over, but my mood was ruined already so I told her to pack and leave. She said the classic "you only want me for sex" and I told her "If you wanted to discuss any problems that you might have with me or our relation/communication, we could have gone out for a drink, you didn't need to come to my place." Also, today morning I sent her a text saying "I am gonna eat you up like candy" and she smiled. My gut feeling tells me I did the right thing.

Opinions?

"You only want me for sex" - is a pressure point to turn you around and into her frame.

Don't fall for it and counter her back into ur frame by stating ur standards.

If she can't accept then dismiss.

 

[Glassguy]

"You only want me for sex" - is a pressure point to turn you around and into her frame.

Don't fall for it and counter her back into ur frame by stating ur standards.

If she can't accept then dismiss.

I agree. And I would not have texted her first after she left.

I agree with OP but I probably would've hammered her when she started trying to make up. Smash and leave and then not initiate. I'd get what I came for before leaving and would have fvcked her like a wh0re just to make sure she got my message in terms of the "relationship".

 

[sazc]

Good question. But you know how some girls don’t get that if he just sees her for sex then she’s not his gf, she’s a warm body, basically. Like they didn’t read the girl book on dating and how to avoid being used .
I’ve met dumb girls like that, heck I was dumb like that once myself.
Maybe she’s dumb or maybe he is leading her on, and she’s not putting two and two together for whatever reason. Personally, IMO, being told to get dressed and leave because you’re not putting out is a clear sign that that’s all he wants from you but let’s see if she gets that lol.

Are they dumb? Or just misguided?

There are plenty of women who feel as if the way to an LTR, the way to hook a man, is sex. For whatever reason, no one told them to be selective about who they give their body too. To value that intimacy. Of course we know that %90 of the time that is a big #fail.

It's very possible this woman believed that, if she gave it up, he would eventually see the value in hey soul, as opposed to seeing her as a fvck toy

 

[backseatjuan]

How do you gals even picture a relationship without sex? Ok, first date it's fine, I would even kiss you in your cheek for passing my sh1t test and not fvcking -- unless you have a kid or flaked on first date, then it's meaningless, you're a fling anyways. Now second date, there has to be sex, because you are now pushing too far, there might not be a third date not just with juan, with any dude. For you to have a third date you better have a good pair and a nice ass.

I would not have texted her first after she left.

I think he texted her the morning before she came to his place. That's how I read it. That's what makes the most sense too, I can't picture him texting her that sh1t after he told her to leave.

 

[AJ84]

Are they dumb? Or just misguided?

There are plenty of women who feel as if the way to an LTR, the way to hook a man, is sex. For whatever reason, no one told them to be selective about who they give their body too. To value that intimacy. Of course we know that %90 of the time that is a big #fail.

It's very possible this woman believed that, if she gave it up, he would eventually see the value in hey soul, as opposed to seeing her as a fvck toy

Yeah maybe I’m being too harsh. I know when I was once played it was because I was dumb and ignored obvious red flags.

It’s on her if she wants to stick around despite what she may want from this guy, knowing that she won’t get it. Based on how he reacted to her not putting out, it appears he’s not interested in more than sex.

That’s the thing, sex with nothing else is of no real value to women who want more because most if not all women can get sex very easily, and when something is that easy to get there’s not a lot of value to it.

Having someone offer a relationship is more valuable for women who seek that. It’s kind of sad to see such women waste their best years on men who won’t give them what they want (a relationship), but I’m of the mind that people do what you let them do.

If a girl who wants a relationship but accepts being his plate, then she is the female equivalent of a male orbiter. At some point of him not taking it to the next level or giving her the run around every few weeks or so, it’s a choice, her choice to be used and waste her life on that guy.

 

[17 shots]

All you have to do is call them every once and a while just to talk, without trying to meet up. That way when they say dumb stuff like that you can say, that's not true, you're acting like I've never called you just to talk and check up on you... now if you can't be bothered to talk at all to the woman you're dealing with, not even for 30 mins, then that's a whole nother issue

 

[backseatjuan]

sex with nothing else is of no real value to women who want more because most if not all women can get sex very easily, and when something is that easy to get there’s not a lot of value to it.

That is a lie women tell to themselves, usually this lie is being circulated by older women with kids, or someone who does not have kids yet and is aging fast with no prospect of marriage. They love to say that they can get sex anytime they want to from practically anyone, though on practice they want and seek a valuable man that can make them wet.

Having someone offer a relationship is more valuable for women who seek that. It’s kind of sad to see such women waste their best years on men who won’t give them what they want (a relationship), but I’m of the mind that people do what you let them do..

I know it's a catch 22, all your younger years when you are highly valuable by being beautiful and having no luggage you fvcked around, and now when you have no value in you, beauty's gone, something hanging out of that shapewear, kids, now you want a relationship! You can have it tomorrow if you want to, just find capt. save a hoe, he's out there! Just be accepting, and see value in less valuable things, change your mental perspective, there is value in clinginess and neediness, be attracted to femenine men!

 

[AJ84]

That is a lie women tell to themselves, usually this lie is being circulated by older women with kids, or someone who does not have kids yet and is aging fast with no prospect of marriage. They love to say that they can get sex anytime they want to from practically anyone, though on practice they want and seek a valuable man that can make them wet.

I know it's a catch 22, all your younger years when you are highly valuable by being beautiful and having no luggage you fvcked around, and now when you have no value in you, beauty's gone, something hanging out of that shapewear, kids, now you want a relationship! You can have it tomorrow if you want to, just find capt. save a hoe, he's out there! Just be accepting, and see value in less valuable things, change your mental perspective, there is value in clinginess and neediness, be attracted to femenine men!

If she wants a masculine man with value who will compliment her feminine vibe and commit to her, that’s the man she will value over the f**kboy who just wants to ‘Netflix and chill’ and keep her as a plate.

Women who want more than to be some guy’s plate among plates will not value that over being the girlfriend of a man she sees value in. Women who want more wont see value in being used for sex, when being used for sex is like shooting fish in a bucket and very easy to get. How many stories are on this very site about some guy who got a bj or stuck it in some girl they said they weren’t really into but she’s willing? Many stories like that here. No value to a woman to be a warm hole, one up from his right or left hand.

That’s what I’m saying here, when I say women don’t necessarily see value in just sex with a guy. ESP women who want more that that. It’s not lie they tell themselves. The lie is when they think they can have a bf/gf relationship when he only sees her for sex, has other girls he dates and does things like tell her to her dressed and leave if she doesn’t put out.

At some point I would hope they would wake up and move on.

 

[sazc]

How do you gals even picture a relationship without sex? Ok, first date it's fine, I would even kiss you in your cheek for passing my sh1t test and not fvcking -- unless you have a kid or flaked on first date, then it's meaningless, you're a fling anyways. Now second date, there has to be sex, because you are now pushing too far, there might not be a third date not just with juan, with any dude. For you to have a third date you better have a good pair and a nice ass.





I think he texted her the morning before she came to his place. That's how I read it. That's what makes the most sense too, I can't picture him texting her that sh1t after he told her to leave.

It's not about 'never' having sex, it's about getting to know him well enough to feel confident that you have shared 'relationship' goals (however you define that word).

Hit it and quit it, plate, long term - she really needs to be aware of her value to the guy so that, if they go there, she has reasonable expectations.

Alas, communication will take a back seat to instant gratification and/or the hope that, of you bang him happily, he will eventually see your value and want you permanently.

 

[AJ84]

This sex by date two or three rule. Really? This is a rule for men, not women, by the way.

Women don’t go around thinking “gee, I better abide by the second/ third date rule.”

If a guy wants to dump a girl for not putting out on the second date that’s his right but it’s not something she did wrong, other than date a guy who decided to forgo potential sex because of a date rule that he basically made for himself.

Not seeing the logic in that but can see lots of missed opportunities. For every one hot girl that is dumped by a guy who is holding himself accountable to a second date rule that really only affects him, there are 20+ guys who are more than happy to excercise a bit more patient and build a bit of comfort before sex.

 

[lizardking82]

Good question. But you know how some girls don’t get that if he just sees her for sex then she’s not his gf, she’s a warm body, basically. Like they didn’t read the girl book on dating and how to avoid being used .
I’ve met dumb girls like that, heck I was dumb like that once myself.
Maybe she’s dumb or maybe he is leading her on, and she’s not putting two and two together for whatever reason. Personally, IMO, being told to get dressed and leave because you’re not putting out is a clear sign that that’s all he wants from you but let’s see if she gets that lol.

No, no. Being told to get up and get dressed is a sign that ****ty games will be "rewarded" with her leaving right away. She wanted to have sex, just wanted to lead me on so that I would go begging mode or desperate or sth. Right after I told her to take her things and leave, she started hugging me and rubbing my d1ck.

I read your other posts as well. I am not a ****boy. I gave her a fair shot at showing her values as a girl and all she did was make fights, create fuss over nothing. I will most probably drop her off and won't see her again because she is as unpredictable and unstable as the fackin weather. But stop making her dumb and a victim. She is a declared NPD and is spoiled as hell. Now that someone doesn't play her games, she's trying everything to "win".

 

[lizardking82]

Yeah maybe I’m being too harsh. I know when I was once played it was because I was dumb and ignored obvious red flags.

It’s on her if she wants to stick around despite what she may want from this guy, knowing that she won’t get it. Based on how he reacted to her not putting out, it appears he’s not interested in more than sex.

That’s the thing, sex with nothing else is of no real value to women who want more because most if not all women can get sex very easily, and when something is that easy to get there’s not a lot of value to it.

Having someone offer a relationship is more valuable for women who seek that. It’s kind of sad to see such women waste their best years on men who won’t give them what they want (a relationship), but I’m of the mind that people do what you let them do.

If a girl who wants a relationship but accepts being his plate, then she is the female equivalent of a male orbiter. At some point of him not taking it to the next level or giving her the run around every few weeks or so, it’s a choice, her choice to be used and waste her life on that guy.

I am interested in anything if you got it. If you are a spoiled brat who thinks she's entitled to a relationship, you ain't getting more than sex. Simple as that.

 

[lizardking82]

When did this forum turn into a woman forum, btw?

 

[lizardking82]

It depends really how often you f.uck.

IMO your frame can be often enforced if you will withold yourself from acting upon the urge as it shows that you are after something bigger in life (somewhat similar to sportsmen conserving energy, sexy girl or not around) and sex is just addition to your plans but it really depends.

Going after sex every time makes you look weak eventually (like well fed animal in mating season you are always ready).

When I still had frame in my former relationship I waited with escalation until my ex couldn't resist touching me and pretty much initiating or at least inviting me to initiate sex.

My friend went even further and knowing that girl is heavily after him, he ****ested her to the point she was angry on him that he doesn't want her (it was a lie, he did, it was just his game).

IMO you lost frame there, and your act was a wannabe-alpha act. Higher game requires being refined. Quality women are not into sexting. You either doing it to top SMV HB or don't waste your time sending her weak messages on FB or cell phone.

It may work if she is way below your SMV but I don't go into such relations (waste of time and resources) and you don't need much game with such women so asking on sosuave about advice is again meaningless really.

I sent her the message in the morning before she came at my place. Lotsa guys seem to be confused about that here.