Phd

[KASHMIR73]

I'm a well developed 56 YR OLD mature man MAJOR GAME SINCE MY YOUTH and I have a woman 56 yr old with a PHD who is hot cold low self esteem possible BPD Bi Polar What to do to get consistant interaction, She push pulls and is intolerant of me and even lady friends.... Says she loves me but not often, Afraid of being hurt insecure low body image but shes fine, tired of her distancing then pulling me back in WTD?

 

[The Duke]

Here are some key points to consider:

-Her low self-esteem will always be an issue. You aren't going to get around it.

-Perhaps her hot and cold behavior is due to the fact you have these "lady friends" she doesn't approve of. An insecure woman will view every single female that is not your mother or sister as a threat to the relationship.

-Girls like this love a guy with game just like they all do, however the fact that you know what you are doing will make her uneasy at times. She knows
what you are capable of.

-You will need to offer almost constant reassurance that everything is ok.

 

[KASHMIR73]

Hmmmmmm

Well said Howiestern and extremely accurate, You validated my assumptions and reasoning, Thank you sir

 

[KASHMIR73]

Anyone else? This is fkn my life up and I feel trapped tween my heart/ love and darkness, and I cannot find a fix, Its truly awful when your heart is wrapped but your mind is zapped....Help!

 

[scrouds]

This one ain't working for you. Throw her back in the water, drop your pole back in and try again.

 

[Iceberg]

This one ain't working for you. Throw her back in the water, drop your pole back in and try again.

Agreed.

The dude's talking about having a phd and all this other sh!t going for him...why chase after some hot and cold 56 year old woman who's bi polar, etc, etc?

A hot 25 year old can get away with these games. This 56 year old is WAY past her expiration date.

The milk's gone bad, my friends!

 

[SecondHalf]

I'm a well developed 56 YR OLD mature man MAJOR GAME SINCE MY YOUTH and I have a woman 56 yr old with a PHD who is hot cold low self esteem possible BPD Bi Polar What to do to get consistant interaction, She push pulls and is intolerant of me and even lady friends.... Says she loves me but not often, Afraid of being hurt insecure low body image but shes fine, tired of her distancing then pulling me back in WTD?

How long have you been together?
What do you really want out of this?
Is this woman in academia or a "doing" job but with a high education?

Still need you to augment the profile of this woman. But personally I'm leery of women with impractical doctorates. They can often be a little out there and extremists. I've 15 years experience in this!

SH

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Kashmir,
So she Pokes holes in Donuts!....So freakin what?.....not always,but often,these people have an ability to centre their energies on one narrow field of intellectual endeavour,to the detriment of everything else....Including as you observe so eloquently,emotional development....Sadly as Academia,to appear impartial,appoints Staff on the basis of their Thesis and publications,then the Institution itself will increasingly reflect their attitudes,becoming even more elitist,favouring even narrower specialised interest groups,at the expense of a well rounded education....I lectured in Academia for 23 Years,the lousiest staff members were those with the best publications....Often,they ruthlessly exploited the Students,using them as cheap labour,grist for their Mill if you like,Expendables in their merciless ambition to learn more and more about less and less......I can see benefits for this in quite a few areas,but at the undergraduate level a well rounded Education,using as lecturers polymaths,with a demonstrated ability to inculcate knowledge would be better for the Students involved.

 

[Three]

Kashmir, it sounds a lot like BPD behavior with all that passive/aggressive stuff. I understand how it feels to have put a lot of time and effort into a relationship that's not working. That sunk cost is a real killer when you dwell on it, but if there are real issues with this woman, YOU will not be able to solve them.

If you've been with her for decades and she's the mother of your children, that's one thing. If she's someone you've been seeing for a few months or couple years, then that's quite another.

Regardless, it sounds like she's got real issues. It may help for you to speak with a psychiatrist to work out some of your own feelings. When I did this, my psychiatrist encouraged me to cut off all ties with my BPD for my own mental health and stability.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Kashmir, put an age on your profile and read the Mature Man forum rules.

 

[jhl]

Dear Kashmir,
So she Pokes holes in Donuts!....So freakin what?.....not always,but often,these people have an ability to centre their energies on one narrow field of intellectual endeavour,to the detriment of everything else....Including as you observe so eloquently,emotional development....Sadly as Academia,to appear impartial,appoints Staff on the basis of their Thesis and publications,then the Institution itself will increasingly reflect their attitudes,becoming even more elitist,favouring even narrower specialised interest groups,at the expense of a well rounded education....I lectured in Academia for 23 Years,the lousiest staff members were those with the best publications....Often,they ruthlessly exploited the Students,using them as cheap labour,grist for their Mill if you like,Expendables in their merciless ambition to learn more and more about less and less......I can see benefits for this in quite a few areas,but at the undergraduate level a well rounded Education,using as lecturers polymaths,with a demonstrated ability to inculcate knowledge would be better for the Students involved.

Scaramouche, I'm almost moved to tears knowing that you, who is in the position of power in academia, recognize the evils and the unbalanced power, and can objectively look at the situation. Everyone views the students as cheap labor...it's almost like the modern day high skilled slave labor market.....

 

[Boilermaker]

"possible BPD with a PHD"


Nice acronyms, you have some more? What does BPD have anything to do with having a PhD? ... You say it's possible, did you do the diagnosis yourself?

And our resident BPD experts tell you to NEXT her immediately. I don't know really, the reaction time upon hearing the b-word and NEXT! is around ~ 22 minutes these days.

It gets shorter and shorter

 

[KASHMIR73]

How long have you been together?
What do you really want out of this?
Is this woman in academia or a "doing" job but with a high education?

Still need you to augment the profile of this woman. But personally I'm leery of women with impractical doctorates. They can often be a little out there and extremists. I've 15 years experience in this!

SH

OK second half thanks for your reply
I want a consistdent intimate interaction, I want "normal" whatever that is now days
I want us to frow and build
She has cut me off from most if not all her friends, Her family doesnt like me she has sabotaged any chance to bre accepted, She has told others I have anger issues, I have gotten extremely upset with her cause of her hot cold indifferent attitudes then she goes Oh I love you beyond words etc etc tears cry sob etc Alligator tears? IDK
sHE WILL DISTANCE, SAY i SHOULD FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN PLEASE ME BLA BLA, THEN WE ARE GOOD TILL SHE FINDS THE LITTLEST REASON SHE FEELS CANT PLEASE ME,( sorry didnt realize caps were on) i dont want anything out of the normal things and ways two people love and what comes with that, Example: she is reluctant to consistantly say I love you, She actually feels I am in her words "the player supreme" I believe she says this because I DO treat her so well she thinks I am not genuine, she has said she doesnt believe she is lovable, and love is stupid, I think her self esteem, neg body image and self confidence is lacking and she feels if she accepts my love for her is solid and genuine she will one day find out I have side play and she will have been played and now looks like a fool, This is rediculous I am loyal and devoted when in love, She is a High school teacher 29 yrs with a doctorate in education, she has had very little experience sexually and serious relationship wise, One poster said toss her back and keep fishin, Yea I get that and have done that many times throughtout the years but as I said she is georgeous and when we are in synch it is awesome, she was my first girlfriend 42 yrs ago we hadnt seen one another for 35 yrs, We were one anothers first kiss and first BF/GF so long ago, There is just a something about her that I cherish then there is this crazy fearful easily manipulated by her so caklled friends who quite frankly I feel they envy our relationship because these women in a word controlled her she is very kind and helpful but I feel she is used often, This is the hardest relationship I have ever knoown and thrrowing her back seems a no brainer but my heart is stuck tight,,, Whats wrong with me? I have always been able to snag women easily I DO have game,well honed for 50 yrs, believe me some of us senior DJ's have super suave down pat!!!
Man this is a new day for me and I know I should just walk but she (when she puts her insecurities away) a magnetism...She fits the borderline or bi-polar mode to a T
I feel I am so above this kind of treatment and am embarrased I am having such a problem disconnecting, Masybe its cause at my age a partner in life is more important than in my earlier years,, Now I hear Tic Tock Tic Tock and am not the loner type, I want a partner to live out the rest of my time... I hear that clock and I am settling for something I struggle mightily with but the good periods are quite frankle mind blowing, Sex is earth shattering and yes at my age I can goi wall to wall action give her multiples and she leaves no bone unturned ...fascinating to listen to her views etc then she goes Mr Hyde and then "OUCH!!" TIME AGAIN.....,,, I appreciate all comments but I do realize this is my bed I have to sleep on it and any other woman who displayed these traits would have been sent packing quickly but I have dealt with this behavior for 4 yrs, Initially I thought she was fkd up because her X left her for another much younger thang , that is a nice place to visit but give up everything for a tighter package? who subsequently ditched him,Ruined his life big time! anyway I thought she was devastated by him cheating and abandoning her and if I was patient and loving she would get over her issues etc but NOPE, These issues may be why hubby left... I'm in this deep and without my boots on..

 

[KASHMIR73]

And your point is?

Kashmir, put an age on your profile and read the Mature Man forum rules.

I do not see any "rules" per se cept age 25 or older..My age is plainly visible on my post
Well I think Iqualify there, What? am I on the wrong page? category. just too old for love? game? Tell me son please....I havent ever posted before so if I am breaking a rule could you enlighten me..

 

[KASHMIR73]

BTW these are very intelligent insightful comments regarding my post,, I'll tell ya fellas, Game is all powerful but let me advise you, At my age and after midlife biological changes and all, GAME rules and regs change BIG TIME.. Be ready for this cause your youthful game MUST adjust, Older, wiser? much more experienced women will eat the youthful gamers lunch, so be ready to make the necessary adjustments as age carries you to where I am, It is a whole different balls game when you mature to the Golden times, Wonderful place to be, (I mean that) do not dread getting older n older if you have game with women or I should say kids your life game is for life a game and work in progress, I'm dealing with someone I feel is entrenched in her misery, I know this is bad for me all too oiften but man, when the heart gets enmeshed it's a true extremely difficult thing to un enmesh.. Ya know what? I think a SS type site for over 40? 50? would be killer, anyone know of one?
I should start one, A lot of your fathers are experiencing what I am, and a bunch of the young stud alpha macho to get the crotcho just doesnt fit when you are dealing with PHD? older wiser and just as capable if not much more so at the art of the game, other words PROFESSIONAL MAN EATERS,,25 yr old girly girls arent even close emotionally and possibly intellectually to spar with you guys, But when they hit middle age then you will be on much more equal ground, I'll get er done with my dillema and get on with my life, I just wanted you all's take on this... I am truly impressed with most of your comments, I read very intelligent young men, I have been reading SS for quite some time..I can tell you tho that what works now is fine, but much of it will be totallty irrelevant as you enter the age and land of reason, women with decades of experience and confidence, Games will be exposed easily so gents be a pro a wise ole sage by then and prosper....... Remember this... Age gracefully and know that wisdom genuine confidence and decades of experience will be your co pilot,

 

[Boilermaker]

Kashmir, you sound like another very wise Scara --- I hope you stick to the forums and share your knowledge with us.

I mean it.

Your prose and story telling are quite similar to our very own Scaramouche ...

Forgive my quick remark, looks like you exactly know what you're dealing with.


Welcome aboard.

 

[KofA]

If you strongly suspect BPD than forget it. I had a bit of a go with a self-proclaimed BPD, forget it. One day she was all over me then she was acting like I was bothering her when I was modestly affectionate, phew!
There are several books on the topic, don't buy them they won't help... you unless you want a new career as a therapist :crazy: