Other people trying to ruin me.

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

I have had this thread on before but I'm am really angry at this situation and want to deal wit it as soon as possible.

I live on college where there are a lot of international students coming to stay. But recently I found out there is a couple of people spreading bad news about me. One is just a nasty girl and the other is some skinny 27yr old guy.

Now it wasn't just a one off thing. There was this exchange student living next to me and even though I wasn't interested in the first place...theyv'e said to stay away from me and watch out because I am apparently a sleaze, dodgy character, player, creepy etc. This didn't happen to one girl but to a few, even my last girl I got involved with who broke things off with me without explaining.

I am really angry at the moment because I cant do my thing without thinking someone else they have convinced has a biased opinion against me and hiding it from me. I'm not about to convince everyone that I am not that person they've portrayed me to be because that would just look very insecure and wussy. I would like to project my sexuality like the bible says but I think that would just look like those 2 were right in the first place and confirm what they have said about me.

I feel like snapping his neck but I wanna deal with this in a smart way, the DJ way. I also want to stop the other girl from spreading anymore bad news about me. I know the other guy is just an AFC trying to kill off competition to make himself look like the saviour but I find this unacceptable and is a personaly attack on me. The other girl is just plain fruitcakes who faked having breast cancer to get attention. I dont know what her goal is but I dont like this "womensavers" attitude on hating on me.

I keep thinking that most people will believe what they've heard. Everyone will always believe sh*t like this because it sounds exciting.

So yes I need help because there is a lot opportunities getting cold as days go by and I want to attract them rather than chase but I can't do this while this sh*t is hanging over my head and clouding others judgment of me. I want to get girls the Dj way not a pick up artist or SS.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

What you need is respect,one way to earn someones respect is by showing the strength of your character etc and the other one is by fear,choose and apply.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Confront the people that are spreading rumors about you. Ask them why they're doing it, and try to see their side. Maybe they got the wrong impression of you when they first met you. Try to set them straight, show them how you really are. Let them know that you don't approve of what they're doing. Its slander.

If you cut off the source, you'll stop the flow. Once these liars have been stopped, you should find that people will think of you normally again. As for those that have already been told these lies, I guess there isn't a whole lot you can do. If they are sheep that can't make their own judgements about you, you probably don't wanna mess with them anyway.

 

[Phyzzle]

I cant do my thing without thinking someone else they have convinced has a biased opinion against me and hiding it from me.

Whoah, WHOAH, how do you ACTUALLY KNOW these people are spreading any rumors at all??

even my last girl I got involved with who broke things off with me without explaining.

So? It happens to all of us. That doesn't mean there's some vast conspiracy against you.

I think it's all in your head, dude. Nobody's saying anything about you.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Oh yea I forgot to mention...2 girls actually told me how these ppl tried to convince them and tried to turn them against me.

The other girl told me that she and my girl (ex) was approached and told " let me give you a piece of my advice, stay well away from him because he is not a very nice person" and this ex of mine decided to take that advice and I am not sure what else she was told. But that was old news and im over her.

It is not a conspiracy if 2 or 3 girls have relayed the information to me. and they all sound the same as well coming from the same person.

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

Whats your connection to those two?

 

[Yuriy777]

...
I feel like snapping his neck ...

Just make it look like an accident.

Disclaimer: I do not advocate murder.


…But, accidents happen. lol
Now I need more coffee, excuse me.


I liked GloriouslyInsane's advice with how to deal with the situation. Although in my opinion you need a little bit of both.

 

[Phyzzle]

The other girl told me that she and my girl (ex) was approached and told " let me give you a piece of my advice, stay well away from him because he is not a very nice person" and this ex of mine decided to take that advice and I am not sure what else she was told.

Sounds like the other girl was BSing. She just wanted to give some reason for the dumping.

Try this Ruby: walk up to some girl you don't know, and say "break up with that guy you're dating. He's not nice." See if she actually listens to you. She won't.

Heck, even your female friends that you know won't listen to you if you say that.

Women constantly end up sleeping with the guys everyone can see are "not nice".

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

I mean she just stopped seeing me and didn't say anything or used some sort of excuse. My ex and the girl spreadin sh*t eventually became friends (fake friends of course) and I never had anything to do with them afterwards.

Girls band up together and stir up a cause they think will empower women. Just because im better than their average person doesnt mean they have a right to knock me off just to look good. I hate people like that. Always wanna be on top.

Get this....If you are seeing someone who appears to be mysterious and someone said..."my advice? stay away from that person for your own good hes not a very nice person" you would at least change a bit of your perception of that person.

To the other guy I will have to eventually confront and find out why he tells other girls to stay away from him.

I am not sure about the other girl spreadin sh*t about me...if she has already told 3 girls I kno, who knows who else she has told.

I have a question though, if a total stranger girl was told to stay away from me because I am apparently some player or something along those lines, would that actually work towards my favour? Like would it spike their interest or curiosity?

 

[Phyzzle]

I have a question though, if a total stranger girl was told to stay away from me because I am apparently some player or something along those lines, would that actually work towards my favour?

Yep.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

nice then....how do i play that part?

 

[Phyzzle]

First, how do these people meet the people you date?

Do they see the girl coming out of your apartment and run up to her?

How does it turn out that they start talking to girls you know?

 

[flexion_]

Your scenerio is a bit "odd". Listen, stop getting sucked into drama that doesn't exist. People don't talk behind your back infront of you... LOL

Who gives a crap if some international exchange student doesn't like you? Do you think you are so special that you are the only person in the world that women are picking fun at? They talk about everyone so stop taking it so personally.

Be a fun happy person and disassociate yourself from the opposite. You make you happy not everyone else.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

yea tru that makes a lot of sense...come to think about it..there was this guy who absolutely f*cked his girl over pretty bad ad treated her like sh*t and she was actually a really good girl...no matter how much we were tryin to convince her he was a bad person (for a fact not just opinion) she still comes back to him even though she knows logically shes goin to get pumped in the head pretty bad.

wat he did was just smile and act like nuttin even happened

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Update: I found out more girls have been told to avoid me. They've been told "Oh he just wants to get into your pants, He's a try hard and desperate. Just stay well away from him". This was from a new girl so she is just passing on the message. So far I have had over 5 girls who told me "Dude there a lot of smack being said about you"

This has got to stop. I've had my car vandalised (everyone knows which car I drive) I dont know if it had connection with other people who think they are doing a favour by squashin the "bad guy" (Some AFC got really offended when I spoke how this HB was just a user because it was the truth and everyone knows and that burst the obsession bubble he had for her)

I've have to admit I like to approach people and if there is attraction then I would bump it up. But some people have even started walking away because of stupid sh*t when they dont even know me personally. It's just a waste of time to turn off the sexual communication and revert to the "Nice Guy" who never attracts people just to disarm other people.

Im really good friends with everyone on my block and a lot of other places. I am a reasonably good looking lad who never made enemies on my college and I can say I have a cool, attractive personality (thanks sosuave). I have fooled around with a sh*tload of women this year compare to the haters here who see me as competition. I never thought rumours and other sh*t spread around could cause trouble in this day and age.

I have also heard from other guys accusing me of trying to steal "their" woman when I've been good friends (platonic) with these girls long before they even knew them. They are simply jealous cause of the fact that these girls like to spend time with me. SO they try to spin some stupid story about me to take me out of the picture. The thing that makes it worse is that I'm that person who looks most likely to fit that image.

I really wanna confront these people and cut off the source. But I dont really know how to. Heres a couple of things I could do.

1. Direct: Go directly straight to the source and calmly confront what their problem is. Maybe in front of their friends or something

2. Iindirect: Just ignore and show people that A LOT of people desire to want to be with me and want to hang out. To win friends and influence people. To show that girls naturally come up to me and do their thing.

Let me know

 

[blinkwatt]

People talk smack because they are jealous,no other reason. You know the best thing to do in response to smack talking?...IGNORE IT! Anyone who talks smack about you isn't worth your time at all.

Second best choice-You can go up to anyone who you know 100% for sure that was talking "smack" and confront them. "Hey (name) what is this that I hear you are saying (such and such)?" Most of the time they will shut up and stop there because they are shocked that you confronted them.

 

[DJ4Life]

hey man, i had the same **** you are having now a couple years ago back in hs

it all started because this lame ass believed some rumor, and thought that i stole his girl, when in fact his girl dumped him first, then met me and we started hitting it out

he was the jock and had quite a lot of friends in school, so it wasnt hard for him to start talking crap about me and spreading it around

i know exactly how you feel, when you walk down the corridor, see people looking at you and wonder if they are thinking **** about you, and because of that you are too scared to even talk to them as well

yes you can confront the ***** and bastard that started it, but it doesnt make much difference usually, they are scared sh*tless in front of u, but when you are gone they just carry on spreading crap behind your back

what i did, and the only thing you can do now, is estbalish yourself closer to your group of friends, make your relationship stronger, and just carry on in your life

even if you wanna game, it's the time to lay low, and dont appear too eager to change what people think about you either, because it will just backfire

you need to create a new reputation for yourself slowly through classes, helping people out, be the smart guy, ace in exams, etc, and if the rumor is damaging you again, go behind your close friends, they are your social shield

it takes a while, but eventually when you can show people what a nice guy you truly are, that f*cker will just make a fool out of himself when he keeps on saying sh*t about you that no one believes anymore, and then with your new and popular reputation you can have your revenge on him

 

[Taker]

I take it you don't have many close friends there, coz if you did your friends would be backing you up saying 'wtf no he isn't wth are you talking about?'.

I would just say try to make friends with some of the more cool and outgoing people and they'll back you up.

 

[JJMcLure]

Definitely confront the people doing it. It might not stop, but until you do, they either think 1) you don't know they're doing it, so they have free reign to continue 2) you're too pvssy to stand up to them, so again they continue and even escalate it.

People only believe rumors if they either don't know you, or noone they know knows you and has an opposite opinion to provide. It's really about networks and cliques. If the rumor mongers are in tighter than you, then their view is going to prevail. Unfortunately, most people don't have independent minds and will go with the group think so that they are not alienated from the group themselves.

If someone doesn't know you, they only have what someone is told you to go on. If you actually meet them and show something different, that will generally prevail. However, if their close circle is against you, unless that person is the "leader", they're still going to maintain distance.

That said, unless your college is really small, there must be plenty of other chicks around who have never met these two, so your options can't be completely shut off.

If this guy is skinny, you surely have nothing to be afraid of. Better to have this sh1t in the open than on your mind and going on covertly.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Yea when I hear sum fresh crap goin on around then I have all the facts to lay out in front of them and confront them in a mature way.

The main girl who spreads crap about me is a very confident type but nonetheless a total bltch who can lie through her teeth. Once she lied about having breast cancer to gain attention. Argh if I was a woman then........lol nevermind ha

The other guy is a skinny lad. He's 26 and an endurance runner. I can beat him using pinky finger. There's no challenge in beating him up. Plus I dont want to get kicked out of residence in college. I've never had any beef with him before but he's just a wanabe hatin on competition. I feel like just stranglin him as a reaction and because the way I was brought up violence was the answer in conflicts. But now I am trying to learn better and control myself.