Online dating experts, I need your help

[zekko]

See this is why we were all jesting you for already imagining having kids with her. This is so typical of us men, one smile from a woman and we start planning retirement with her.

Despite what I said earlier, I was afraid this might happen. I've never tried OLD, but everyone says the flake right is very high.

Maybe she got scared off by Dave's comments about her body, maybe she didn't want to show up and feel like she was being judged.

 

[bigdave17]

Despite what I said earlier, I was afraid this might happen. I've never tried OLD, but everyone says the flake right is very high.

Maybe she got scared off by Dave's comments about her body, maybe she didn't want to show up and feel like she was being judged.

I texted her "I hope I didn't scare you off by the gym talk. You don't have to be perfect to be attractive for me"

 

[zekko]

I texted her "I hope I didn't scare you off by the gym talk. You don't have to be perfect to be attractive for me"

Don't lie to the poor girl
No, but seriously, maybe you shouldn't have brought it up in the first place.

 

[bigdave17]

Don't lie to the poor girl
No, but seriously, maybe you shouldn't have brought it up in the first place.

I agree

although she's on a calorie diet plan herself, she brought that up to me and i just gave her some advice. I was extremely encouraging/positive and I told her I"m sure she's beautiful in real life

 

[spinich]

Sorry to hear Dave, and won't even say told you so. Dave I have been harsh on your bullsh*t but tell you this as someone who's been around awhile longer than you. Don't look for excuses or explanations. She got a better offer, period. Don't do the Dave thing and analyze the crap out of this. It will just result in more of the self doubt that riddles your head. Not about pictures or anything else. Just a case of a woman with options. So stop with the self doubt. Become outcome independent and say oh well. Done deal. And for Dogs sake do NOT re contact. It's done. Let it go as her words mean nothing! Good luck next time.

 

[bigdave17]

Sorry to hear Dave, and won't even say told you so. Dave I have been harsh on your bullsh*t but tell you this as someone who's been around awhile longer than you. Don't look for excuses or explanations. She got a better offer, period. Don't do the Dave thing and analyze the crap out of this. It will just result in more of the self doubt that riddles your head. Not about pictures or anything else. Just a case of a woman with options. So stop with the self doubt. Become outcome independent and say oh well. Done deal. And for Dogs sake do NOT re contact. It's done. Let it go as her words mean nothing! Good luck next time.

good point

 

[HankHill]

I texted her "I hope I didn't scare you off by the gym talk. You don't have to be perfect to be attractive for me"

Don't say stuff like that. I would've said 'no worries, let me know in the future when you're ready to date again, take care.' then NEVER text her again. If she has any real interest she'll be back, might be a week or three months, doesn't matter...if she doesn't get back then she didn't have much interest beyond getting the validation through texting.

Lessons to be learned:

1. Just don't bring up her physical appearance at all. Period.
2. Minimal chit-chat before the first date unless you know what you're doing. You don't.
3. On a date ask questions, show interest and let her do most of the talking, again this is so you don't put your foot in your mouth and blow it.
4. Don't invest in a woman unless she invests in you first, women change their minds in seconds (as you just found out).
5. Keep hunting.

 

[lamath]

Don't say stuff like that. I would've said 'no worries, let me know in the future when you're ready to date again, take care.' then NEVER text her again. If she has any real interest she'll be back, might be a week or three months, doesn't matter...if she doesn't get back then she didn't have much interest beyond getting the validation through texting.

Lessons to be learned:

1. Just don't bring up her physical appearance at all. Period.
2. Minimal chit-chat before the first date unless you know what you're doing. You don't.
3. On a date ask questions, show interest and let her do most of the talking, again this is so you don't put your foot in your mouth and blow it.
4. Don't invest in a woman unless she invests in you first, women change their minds in seconds (as you just found out).
5. Keep hunting.

Num 4 is most important imo

 

[bigdave17]

Don't say stuff like that. I would've said 'no worries, let me know in the future when you're ready to date again, take care.' then NEVER text her again. If she has any real interest she'll be back, might be a week or three months, doesn't matter...if she doesn't get back then she didn't have much interest beyond getting the validation through texting.

Lessons to be learned:

1. Just don't bring up her physical appearance at all. Period.
2. Minimal chit-chat before the first date unless you know what you're doing. You don't.
3. On a date ask questions, show interest and let her do most of the talking, again this is so you don't put your foot in your mouth and blow it.
4. Don't invest in a woman unless she invests in you first, women change their minds in seconds (as you just found out).
5. Keep hunting.

Do you think I blew this? She texted me just 24 hours ago that she was excited to see me

She volunteered all the info on her body to me, I didn't ask her what shape she was in. I should have avoided the gym conversations all together

 

[HankHill]

Do you think I blew this? She texted me just 24 hours ago that she was excited to see me

She volunteered all the info on her body to me, I didn't ask her what shape she was in. I should have avoided the gym conversations all together

I have no way of knowing since I don't know what the exact conversation was word-for-word over the past several days. But frankly it doesn't even matter what HER reasons are @bigdave17 just stick to the plan to minimize any self-inflicted damage.

This is a fairly common occurrence on OLD which is why I don't invest my time chit-chatting even after they give me their ph#s (which I don't ever ask for). That way if they cancel or such it's not even a blip on my emotional radar. If they want to invest and chat I'll respond but no more than twice a day, usually only once before I go to bed.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I know, I already admitted that I want to meet someone so badly that I find myself falling very fast

The weird thing is she texted me 18 hours ago that she was very excited to see me. What changes in a day?

Dude she wants you to fall for it again. Have some self respect.

 

[Music_czar]

Your solution to online dating:

1. Post your best pics

2. Mass email bishes

3. Go out on dates till u find a girl willing to bang

4. When u get tired of online dating make new friends and increase your social circle.

 

[bigdave17]

I have no way of knowing since I don't know what the exact conversation was word-for-word over the past several days. But frankly it doesn't even matter what HER reasons are @bigdave17 just stick to the plan to minimize any self-inflicted damage.

This is a fairly common occurrence on OLD which is why I don't invest my time chit-chatting even after they give me their ph#s (which I don't ever ask for). That way if they cancel or such it's not even a blip on my emotional radar. If they want to invest and chat I'll respond but no more than twice a day, usually only once before I go to bed.

its a common occurence to plan a date, message for about a week and then flake a few hours before?

its not like we were messaging for a month

 

[bigdave17]

I went back on the dating profiles and I barely see anybody i like. The 10 or 15 girls I like, I'll send them a message, maybe 3 will read it and ignore, the other 12 won't even read the message

This chick was far from perfect. She was 20-30 lbs too big and lived 50 minutes from me, but even with that, I'm still incredibly disappointed because it's so hard to find a replacement for her

 

[HankHill]

hahaha on behalf of all the women I apologize they're not forming lines nude for you to take your pickings as you walk around with calipers measuring their body fat percentage and sharpie'ing their bodies with 'pass' 'fail' stamps.

You have to be patient and persistent. Welcome to the real world big guy lol

 

[bigdave17]

hahaha on behalf of all the women I apologize they're not forming lines nude for you to take your pickings as you walk around with calipers measuring their body fat percentage and sharpie'ing their bodies with 'pass' 'fail' stamps.

You have to be patient and persistent. Welcome to the real world big guy lol

I just want a good looking, normal, somewhat intelligent ethnic chick. How is this so much to ask for?


I would date a light skin classy black girl, would date middle eastern, latin, italian, greek, french, etc...

 

[HankHill]

I just want a good looking, normal, somewhat intelligent ethnic chick. How is this so much to ask for?

So does every guy...what's your point?

I would date a light skin classy black girl, would date middle eastern, latin, italian, greek, french, etc...

Good! Keep looking...and in between work on getting laid.

 

[bigdave17]

So does every guy...what's your point?



Good! Keep looking...and in between work on getting laid.

Online dating is incredibly frustrating. Scoured like 15 pages of profiles and found maybe 5 chicks I like... Something like this is exactly my type but what are the odds of her even reading my message?

I don't meet women in my normal daily routine and cold approaching is crazy hard

 

[spinich]

Dave, take a breath. You are being Dave. That will not work with the type of woman you think you deserve. Hate to tell you, but you don't deserve squat. Remember OLD is a woman's playground. They make the selections. Doesn't have to be logical. It is the female prerogative, which they exercise without thought or looking back. You have been relegated to her "oh him" file. No matter how special you may think you are, top .0001 percent in looks, money, personality, ect take this rejection as a reality check! If you were a power lifter it would be like you are doing a first bench of 600 lbs without warm up. You will hurt yourself, and that's what you continue to do by living in a fantasy land that supports your fragile ego. Stop it! Get some experiences under your belt with women whom you may think are subpar. Success builds success! If I were to venture a guess of why she flaked, it was that your neediness and desperation reeked in your texts. Women will bolt if they smell desperation. She did, and she did. Lick your wounded ego, learn from it, and start dealing in the real world with real women, not that fantasy woman you imagine you deserve. Sorry, but it just doesn't work that way in the real world.

 

[bigdave17]

she said "now is not the time to go on dates" and I find she is active again browsing plenty of fish - just now she is logged online


Why don't women tell the truth? It's like I'm not a retard, I smell bullsh*t


Why message me for a week, make plans and cancel last second like a A**hole?