ONE YEAR FROM TODAY - I'm Getting Married

[Big-J]

Re: ILL tell you why..?

Originally posted by tiburon
"2. Why Marriage, Why now (not as in now with this girl, now as in now at 23 years old)? How is marriage going to make this relationship any different than what it is, with the exception of a big ceremony, 2 rings, and saying "I do"? If you've both got feelings and chemistry this strong for each other that you both feel you can get married, you could also be together without being married for about 2-3 years."

The kid is in love and therfore blinded.....pretty simple!


Tiburon ..there is no other rational explanation

Well the point I'm getting at here, is that people have gone 10 years without getting married, and had a kid. If they would have gotten married, what would be different about this? Nothing besides the ceremony, and rings.


BTW these questions are the kind of questions that gets you to think .

 

[iqqi]

Gio, I think you are confident enough and secure enough to make this decision. You are not getting married to someone you met last month. You are not rushing the marriage because of some insecurity. The ONLY thing I think anyone is concerned with is your age.

But that, everyone, is a personal choice. I personally wouldn't get married at this age. PERSONALLY.

Gio is a smart ass dude. He is intelligent, he has wisdom. And maybe this marriage will end. That won't mean he has lost. The real question, and the only one really worth considering, is would you still marry her if you knew it could end?

Because ANY marriage could end. There are no guarantees in love, at all. No amount of time will give you a guarantee.

Gio is a smart man. Let's be confident he can make his own decisions. He is not being blind or irrational.

 

[Sting]

Originally posted by iqqi
Gio, I think you are confident enough and secure enough to make this decision. . . . And maybe this marriage will end. That won't mean he has lost. . . . Gio is a smart man. Let's be confident he can make his own decisions. He is not being blind or irrational.

Iqqi,

Gio is a very intelligent man, and apparently possesses sufficient wisdom to have evaluated what he considers to be the critical issues involved with marrying his now-fiancé. Yet at the same time, and in response to my initial post to this thread, Gio has admitted that he was curious regarding the inevitable negative viewpoints that would result from his making an announcement on this message board.

With all that said, my advice concerning continuous evaluation and re-evaluation of a decision to get married would apply regardless of Gio’s age. Indeed, it would be of even more importance to a person who was considering a second, third or fourth marriage. Likewise, you are correct in pointing out that if Gio’s marriage fails, he is not forever doomed to walk the earth as a divorcee. Nevertheless, I am of the opinion that divorcees (male or female) are like single mothers. The fact that their marriages didn’t survive is indicative of a flaw in their decision-making or relationship-maintenance abilities. Consequently, regardless whether Gio is smart or wise, he must consider whether his fiancé shares those same qualities. In other words, is she getting married to Gio for the same reasons Gio is marrying her? My supposition is that her reasons are likely not the same, save for her “love” for Gio. In making this observation, my intent is not to criticize love as an emotion that blinds a person, but rather that it has a tendency to color a person’s viewpoints as to issues that require rational consideration.

 

[Big-J]

Originally posted by iqqi
Gio, I think you are confident enough and secure enough to make this decision. You are not getting married to someone you met last month. You are not rushing the marriage because of some insecurity. The ONLY thing I think anyone is concerned with is your age.

But that, everyone, is a personal choice. I personally wouldn't get married at this age. PERSONALLY.

Gio is a smart ass dude. He is intelligent, he has wisdom. And maybe this marriage will end. That won't mean he has lost. The real question, and the only one really worth considering, is would you still marry her if you knew it could end?

Because ANY marriage could end. There are no guarantees in love, at all. No amount of time will give you a guarantee.

Gio is a smart man. Let's be confident he can make his own decisions. He is not being blind or irrational.

I respect the fact that he's smart intelligent and wise, but, that still does not stop people from making mistakes, or rushing into things. Why is it because of age? Because at 23 you still have the rest of your life to look forward to, he's still hasn't gotten into his career, he's still in school, etc... I'm not saying he SHOULDN'T marry her, I'm saying he should rush into marrying her.

He wouldn't be so much curious at reading the negative comments, if he wasn't looking for things he may have missed, due to him being somewhat blinded.


And you said:

"Because ANY marriage could end. There are no guarantees in love, at all. No amount of time will give you a guarantee."


Any marriage could end, but at the same time, they SHOULDN'T end. That's why IMO Marriages are becoming more a novelty than a commitment. I mean "until death do us part", or some say it "as long as you both shall live", is not a part of your wedding vows for nothing.


Although I, personally don't plan on getting married until I'm in my 30's. I've got too much to experiance, and too much to do as a single man before being ready to settle down with one woman in a major lifetime commitment.

 

[Big-J]

*bump*

wanna see Nova's response

 

[DIESEL]

Re: Re: Re: Re: lol

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
I agree, to a point. Since I've been on this site, I've read many of your posts, but as you say, I don't know you from anyone on the street. Now if someone was to tell me, "Hey, see that guy over there? He posts on a website called sosuave.com. His username is DIESEL." Am I then invading your privacy?

Or, for a closer example, say a friend of yours is on your computer, with your permission, and an Instant Message pops up and says, "Hey, is the Black Bull from the girlproblems.com site?" Your friend says, "No, sorry," but then gets curious about a site called "girlproblems" so he checks it out and reads some of your posts under the Black Bull username. Is he then invading your privacy?

you realize Gio, this would make a great law school hypo, right?

 

[Sting]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: lol

Originally posted by DIESEL
you realize Gio, this would make a great law school hypo, right?

Yes, it would, although I found law school to be like working extremely hard -- for free. What law students will find is that their entire way of thinking, almost of existing, will be forever changed by the experience.

 

[Bungo Pony]

Woah! Just saw this thread and read the whole thing. Congrats Gio!

I'm just guessing that you've read my "wedding" thread and my thoughts on the whole thing. If you haven't, it's here:
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30068

Lots of mixed emotions coming from the others. There are a lot of excellent points being raised, but Gio's the one who has to go through the experience to get the full feel of it. HE has to be the one to get married and experience the positives and negatives of it. Life is full of experiences and risks. Gio is one to learn from these experiences as he has done with his past GFs. This is a major experience, and Gio is going to get full subjection to it. Whether the marriage fails or not, he's going to come out with some excellent experiences and gained knowledge.

Regarding the whole "she reads this site" issue; if she's offended by what you're telling a bunch of guys on the internet with stupid aliases (ie Bungo Pony ) and has no respect for your morals & beliefs, you shouldn't even be considering marrying her.

As far as the child issue goes, we battled that one out when Gio started dating her (and even before if I remember correctly). Gio getting married doesn't change my view on SMs, but I'm not going to discourage him from life experience.

BTW Gio, I'm sending you a PM.

 

[Gipper]

Holy $hit, I'm stunned.

How's it going Giovanni? Long time, no post, at least for me. Congrats on the engagement; I hope you're happy, but it sounds like things are going well. It what it's all about, right?

Where's the bachelor party?

Gipper

 

[Pancho]

Okay...i know this thread is old, but I havent been on this site for months (ive been busy guys!!!), and I just wanted to comment.

I think Gio is wrong in the head. Any person who gets married before the age of 65 is. I say, get married at 65, have kids at 66, so before they are teenagers, your in the ground and dont have to worry about them.

Anyhow, congratulation.

What scares the hell out of me, is that i met my current girlfriend within about a month that Gio did. God......and i just realized that maybe shes been giving me hints. Hold on guys, ill be right back, i have to go break up with her......

Pancho

 

[Matt ala Casanova]

Hey GC,

It's been a long road and I am happy for you. This is truly an example of what it means to become a DJ, weed out all the sh!t bags that come along the way and then finally meet that one girl that is perfect!

Thanks for all you have done for this community and for me!

Congrats and goodluck with her!

M.A.C.

 

[Jake Steed]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
The only thing that was mentioned that I had not given due consideration to before I proposed was the incident where she came to this site and read some of my posts, which happened in the very early days of our relationship and was such a non-issue that I hadn't thought about it in some time.

If it was such a "non-issue", why did you frantically delete all of your posts?

Jake

 

[Paradox]

Damn! Am I the last to ring in on this one?

Congrats buddy! I am very happy that you found the woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

I hope Sosuave has helped in some small way.


Hey, good to see you Jake.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Jake Steed
If it was such a "non-issue", why did you frantically delete all of your posts?

Jake

*sigh*

I guess it doesn't matter how many times I say this, nobody's listening... but I'll say it again anyway. I DIDN'T delete "all my posts". I deleted posts from, like, four threads. These were all posts that dealt with her, and no, at the time I wasn't sure that it was a good idea for her to read that stuff. Everything contained within those posts, however, she now knows.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Gipper
Holy $hit, I'm stunned.

How's it going Giovanni? Long time, no post, at least for me. Congrats on the engagement; I hope you're happy, but it sounds like things are going well. It what it's all about, right?

Where's the bachelor party?

Gipper

Gipper, old friend... it's really great to see you posting again.

Bachelor party arrangments have yet to be made.

 

[WestCoaster]

Hate to say it, but a HUGE mistake

I have a lot of friends a few who married at that age -- only one is/was (some divorced) happy with because basically he didn't date at all until he met the wife he married. Frankly, she's not very attractive or that nice either.

Your 20's is a great, great time to be single, to see what you really like. I know you have a job, amenities, etc., but please, slow the 'f down!

Trust me, at 30 you'll be thinking, what the he-l did I do!

I wish you well and nothing but the best, but history, facts/figures, etc., are not on your side.

Then again, your gunslinging attitude is to say screw the facts and figures.

But I don't care how mature someone is at 23, you're a completely different person at 33 or even 30. As a (divorced) professor once told me: Why did I divorce the woman I married at 21? Because we were two different people at 31.

Good luck!

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Aye GC..congratulations bro. I've read many of your posts, and, its obivious that you're an asset to sosuave and the other DJ's here.

I haven't been on here as much as the other guys giving you props, but hey, I'm down like all the other DJ's here spotting the 20's for the bachelor party and lap dances.

I have to ask...prenuptial agreement? You going with one or not? Reasons for or against?

Congrats again GC

 

[STR8UP]

Re: Hate to say it, but a HUGE mistake

Originally posted by WestCoaster
But I don't care how mature someone is at 23, you're a completely different person at 33 or even 30.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

A lot of this has to do with the way your ciew of the world changes in your mid 20's. I can honestly say that I noticed a marked change in myself around that time. You definitely ARE NOT the same person at 23 than you are at 33.

In hindsight I would have been SCREWED and REGRETTING EVERY MINUTE of settling down in my early 20's.

Hell, at 31 I have some doubt that I would be ready....there is just too much of this big wonderful world I would love to see before I have to deal with a wife bent on picking out a house with a white picket fence for my dog, cat, and 2.3 children.

Life is short....

 

[tiburon]

YOU KNOW WHAT>>>

I UNDESRTAND EVERITHING SO FAR....

GIO IS IN LOVE...
GIO BELIEVES HIS FIANCE LOVES HIM
GIO IS MARRYING A WOMEN WITH A KID
THE FATHER OF THE KID IS VIOLENT AND SMOKES DRUGS
GIO DEALS WITH THE FATHER AND KID SITUATION IN OCASSIONS
GIO'S FAMILY AND FRIENDS THINK GREAT OF HIS FIANCE
GIO PREVIOS LTD WAS WITH A SLUT WHO CHEATED
GIO THINKS HIS FIANCE IS AN AMAZING WOMAN
GIO BELIEVES THERE WAS NO INVASION OF PRIVACY FROM HER
GIO IS 24
GIO IS NOT FINISH WITH SCHOOL
GIO THINKS GETTING MARRIED WILL HELP WITH SCHOOL COSTS
GIO HAS NO PROBLEM WITH BEING A NEW FATHER TO THE KID
GIO IS GETTING MARRIED IN A YEAR.....

BUT , THE ONLY THING I DONT UNDERSTAND....IS WHY THE HURRY?
WHY MARRY WHEN YOU CAN BE TOGETHER FOR SO MUCH LONGER AND SEE IF YOU TRULY ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER AND NO RISK SO MUCH A DIVORCE?

ANYONE? GIO?LOL

TIBURON ..IAM OUT

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Re: YOU KNOW WHAT>>>

Tiburon, I don't know what it is, but somehow you manage to make even LESS sense when you leave your caps lock on.

Originally posted by tiburon
GIO IS IN LOVE...

Yes.

GIO BELIEVES HIS FIANCE LOVES HIM

Yes.

GIO IS MARRYING A WOMEN WITH A KID

Yes.

THE FATHER OF THE KID IS VIOLENT AND SMOKES DRUGS

Not positive if he's still using. He claims he isn't. It doesn't really matter, he's never around anyway.

GIO DEALS WITH THE FATHER AND KID SITUATION IN OCASSIONS

After the court case, as I've said repeatedly, the "father" has had basically no involvement. His parents are the ones that pick her up and drop her off when it supposedly "his time".

GIO'S FAMILY AND FRIENDS THINK GREAT OF HIS FIANCE

Yes.

GIO PREVIOS LTD WAS WITH A SLUT WHO CHEATED

I don't know what an "LTD" is, but yes. That was also about two years ago.

GIO THINKS HIS FIANCE IS AN AMAZING WOMAN

Yes.

GIO BELIEVES THERE WAS NO INVASION OF PRIVACY FROM HER

There wasn't, and we've been completely through that.

GIO IS 24

No, Gio is 23. Gio will be 24 in October and a few months shy of 25 when he gets married.

GIO IS NOT FINISH WITH SCHOOL

That's correct.

GIO THINKS GETTING MARRIED WILL HELP WITH SCHOOL COSTS

I don't know where the f*ck you came up with that. I never -- NEVER -- said that. Some of you guys need to really work on your reading comprehension skills. Let's go over it again, for guys like Tiburon who are apparently in the cheap seats.

• My fiance is transferring next year to a closer college which happens to be more specialized in what she wants to do.
• It is a "Christian" college, whatever the hell that means.
• Christian colleges have certain rules.
• One of these rules concerns campus housing -- if you're unmarried, you have to live in the campus housing or with your parents. If you're married, you can live wherever you want.
• We will be married at that time.
• This is just one reason out of many -- aside from the main reason -- to get married now.
• This will not make college costs cheaper, and I never said it would.

GIO HAS NO PROBLEM WITH BEING A NEW FATHER TO THE KID

Correct.

GIO IS GETTING MARRIED IN A YEAR.....

Less than a year, now.

BUT , THE ONLY THING I DONT UNDERSTAND....IS WHY THE HURRY?

Somehow, I doubt that's the only thing you don't understand.

WHY MARRY WHEN YOU CAN BE TOGETHER FOR SO MUCH LONGER AND SEE IF YOU TRULY ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER AND NO RISK SO MUCH A DIVORCE?

Well, it was a tough decision... we weighed all the reasons for it and all the reasons against it. In the end, there were 112 reasons for getting married now and 112 reasons for waiting. But then I thought and thought and thought and finally realized that getting married now would really bother Tiburon, so that's how we made that decision.

Of course, I'm just giving that version to you, because everyone else is fully capable of reading how I answered that question much earlier in this thread.