Here's my story. Started dating this HB 7.5-8 when she was 26 for about six years and the first couple of years were pretty good but then the sh!t started hitting the fan more and more. She was good and sweet in the beginning but it always seemed to me she was craving attention from other males. Always with the happy hours after work, clubing and always alot of male orbiters. Always push/pull situations. WTF? Told her politely that it simply won't fly with me and broke up with her over that and her inability to keep her word in general alot of time, only to have her crying at my door step asking for another chance. Gave her plenty of chances and the change has of course been only for a few weeks or months. It would start back up nice and then she would start making excuses for her actions and tell me that my standards for her are much higher then other couples and she feels caged. Classic bullsh!t, of course. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too!
Her background is an abusive father and a manipulative mother that was never there, constantly moving from one city to another. Was raised by grandparents, then tossed to relatives and friends and basically thrown out on the street went she was 16. Really not her fault. Mine is a stable family, loving, religious, never witnessed my parents arguing etc. All in all, a good upbringing. I had my own business, did good with it and now I am studying engineering and have plans to start a family and my own engineering firm. She is an engineer as well.
So during this last break up I found out that she has cheated on me last year. Never even bother to use protection and then I slept with her unknowingly. Don't know to this day if I have something or not!!!! Was very dissapointed about the whole thing. Surprised that I was not pissed. I have never been a chump so I have always been able to pull really hot girls, so I guess that's why I just said "**** it and move on". I started working on myself, improving and doing my own thing.
Three weeks ago, I see her in my city by accident and text her to come over and talk. She does. So I lay it on her how I am not pissed, just dissapointed that she cheated, tell her that I am tired of all the bs that has been the last 6 years and ask her if she wants to finally calm the f*** down (now that she's 30) and start doing it properly. She agrees again (of course), and I propose to her. She's all happy for the first day and then she starts laying it on me that she has doubts and that all her friend and family are telling her that she is making a big mistake and she will regret it blah blah. I take time and calmly explain to her how friends and family don't know sh!t about all that's going on and that only buys a little bit of time with her, but that's it. She keeps the charade up about how her heart is telling her she's doing the right thing but her mind is telling her otherwise.
First week of being engaged, she goes out and finds herself a part time job(doesn't need it at all, just for fun) that would keep her busy in the weekends, even tho we had made plans. We are invited to my sister for thanksgiving and she says she can't make it because of her new job. Simply told her that if she doesn't make it, engagement is off and not to bother trying to ever come back.
We planned on me going over to her this weekend and enjoying ourselves(after all, we're f***ing engaged and that should be the best time of our lives), going out and visiting the airspace museum(for which I got tickets already), and maybe some restaurants. Now I'm thinking that maybe it is not such a hot idea. Why reward bad behaviour?
I have this HB 8.5-9 living here close to me, same culture, good girl, 2 years younger, likes me and ready to settle down. I am thinking of pusuing her but my heart is still stuck with this other one. My plan is to wait till thanksgiving and see how it plays out with the LTR and then give the other one a full shot at it.
What's your guys' take on it?
