Omg!! Women Are So Easy It's Not Even Funny...let Me Clarify The Simplicity..

[Igetit!]

lol thx to all and maxtro....that type of attitude is like female-reppellent....

in order to have different things in your life what makes you think you would obtain them in the same mindframe that didnt get you anything???!!

it is important to try and get hurt...and keep getting hurt by rejection to a point that your humiliated...after you've faced your biggest fear then you become fearless...

its important not to care in order to keep from getting hurt...but the trick is that you dont give a **** so u wont..

im not gonna lie maxtro im pretty down too...i dont have have many girls right now...my money is low...but i did go out last night and caught ioi's and got approached a couple times but i wasnt interested in any girls 4real last night....

the ****ty part about life is that it can bring you down...way down to a point you dont want to try...but the beauty of life is that it can change!!!

it's important you seek out your abilities and what you can do...if you can have sex with one girl you can pull 10 more...

another thing women are a paradox....body ANNNND MIND!!!! how she looks to you she may not look like that to herself...the body is 2nd and her mind is 1st....guys who talk to her body will get no play because that's not the system in control...guys who talk to the mind get turned into friends because the body doesn't feel stimulated but the guy who talks expresses attraction to the body and then focuses on the mind gets the poontang...

so understand everybody goes under in the dating field...but the beauty is that...it can only get better...and if you've had any good moments in the past then you should already know you have all the power in the world to make that happen again for yourself...and it will happen...

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST POSTS I'VE EVER SEEN.

If members can't learn from this,then they simply can't be helped.

+1 rep point

 

[Maxtro]

so understand everybody goes under in the dating field...but the beauty is that...it can only get better...and if you've had any good moments in the past then you should already know you have all the power in the world to make that happen again for yourself...and it will happen...

it's important you seek out your abilities and what you can do...if you can have sex with one girl you can pull 10 more...

My issue that I keep stressing over, is that I haven't had good moments in dating. Can anybody feel good about making out with a fat girl for two weeks or continually getting friend zoned by girls who end up hating you in the end?

When it comes to real girls, I'm basically a virgin. I don't have any confidence that I can actually have sex with a girl.

maxtro....that type of attitude is like female-reppellent....

I wonder how much they can actually feel. As I said before, the Maxtro you see on the forums isn't who I am when I'm around people. I'm not negative at all and I don't complain. I usually post on here when I'm feeling my lowest. In essence all you see is me at one extreme.

Now I'm not saying I'm a super happy high energy guy but I'm nowhere close to emo.

in order to have different things in your life what makes you think you would obtain them in the same mindframe that didnt get you anything???!!

Is it really my mind frame that makes the difference? And even then I'm trying to improve my frame of mind.

it is important to try and get hurt...and keep getting hurt by rejection to a point that your humiliated...after you've faced your biggest fear then you become fearless...

its important not to care in order to keep from getting hurt...but the trick is that you dont give a **** so u wont..

This is what I struggle with the most. I'm so tired of getting hurt. I'm struggling to protect the rest of my ego. Emotionally I'm very weak. I have faced my biggest fears and been hurt by them. Honestly I'm scared. I'm so tired of rejection that if it doesn't look like I have a 70% chance at succeeding I don't even try.


The biggest problem I have with women can be summed up with this picture

Since I have very few girls in my life that I can actually talk to I feel that being friendly with them and hiding my interests is better then her finding out I'm interested which eventually means we can't talk anymore.

This school year there were two girls that I was very interested in. Shortly after Girl A (whom I've written several threads about) found out that I liked her, all hell broke loose and she refused to talk to me for the rest of the semester. Of course everything that happened was my fault but it unfortunately still reinforces the belief that letting girls know I'm into them, makes things turn out very badly. Now girls B may or may not have known that I was into her. She may have figured it out because for a couple of weeks I was trying to get her to hang out with me during our hour long break. The difference with her, is that I could still talk to her.

Anyways getting back on point, is it better to have a girl who knows you like her, hate you or being able to be freindly with a girl who doesn't know? Of course I'm only seeing it as black and white. But with my life, there hasn't been any grays.


How do you stop giving a shit?

the ****ty part about life is that it can bring you down...way down to a point you dont want to try...but the beauty of life is that it can change!!!

That's why I keep posting here. I haven't given up yet. I still have some energy, some drive.

another thing women are a paradox....body ANNNND MIND!!!! how she looks to you she may not look like that to herself...the body is 2nd and her mind is 1st....guys who talk to her body will get no play because that's not the system in control...guys who talk to the mind get turned into friends because the body doesn't feel stimulated but the guy who talks expresses attraction to the body and then focuses on the mind gets the poontang...

Could you please clarify the bolded part? I know that the concept if very important but I don't quite understand.

 

[Igetit!]

Can anybody feel good about making out with a fat girl for two weeks or continually getting friend zoned by girls who end up hating you in the end?

Maxtro,I've been waiting and waiting for you to figure this "friendzone" thing out. It's better for someone to learn something or to "get it" on their own than for someone to tell them. However,it seems from your replies that even after all you've been through,you still don't understand WHY you're "continually getting friendzoned by girls who end up hating you". So I'll just flat out tell you. You want to know why you keep getting friendzoned? It's because you approach girls as a friend. Yeah,it's just that simple. You approach them as a friend,then they respond in like manner. Your problem is fear. You want to be close to girls,but you're afraid of rejection. So your method of getting close to them is pretending to only want to be their friend. Then,when you get sick and tired of hiding your true feelings,you tell the girl how you really feel,but by then it's too late. She's already gotten used you to hanging around her in a friendly manner,then that's when she pulls the "let's just be friends" on you.

And as for these girls hating you,the reason they "hate" you is because they feel deceived....and they're right. You deceived them by pretending to be their friend for the past 8 months,then one day,you decide to switch everything up on them. They feel that the WHOLE TIME you've been around them was just a sham,just some ploy to just try to get in their pants.

That's why they "hate" you.

I wonder how much they can actually feel.

I guess as men,we'll probably never truely know and understand how much a woman feels,but if the same thing keeps happening over and over again to you,that should be a clue that you need to alter something about the way you approach.

Is it really my mind frame that makes the difference?

YES!!!Take another look at what Badmannaz said.

He said

in order to have different things in your life what makes you think you would obtain them with the same mindframe that didn't get you anything???!!

This statement is pure genious. Think about it:If you've had mindset "A" for the past 10 years,and for the past 10 years,you've been angry,frustrated,and disappointed with your dating life,then how does going into the next 10 years with the same mindset (mindset A) suppose to produce what you want? If it hasn't helped you get what you want after 10 years,then why would it "suddenly" start helping?

I'm so tired of getting hurt. I'm struggling to protect the rest of my ego.

THIS IS THE PROBLEM MAXTRO.
You say you're trying to protect your ego. How,by not risking rejection? That's the problem man. Look,without a risk of rejection,(either by the guy or the girl),there can be no dating/relationship. The risk of rejection is ESSENTIAL. And guess what? 90-95 percent of the time,it's us guys who'll have to put ourselves out there on the line.

As long as you're trying to avoid rejection,you'll keep ending up in this dead-end....and that's a promise.

This point seems to keep slipping your mind,so I'm going to say it again:

AS LONG AS YOU KEEP TRYING TO AVOID REJECTION,YOU'LL KEEP UP ENDING IN THE FRIENDZONE/A DEAD-END.

Since I have very few girls in my life that I can actually talk to I feel that being friendly with them and hiding my interests is better then her finding out I'm interested which eventually means we can't talk anymore.

Yeah? Well keep doing this Max. Keep doing what you've been doing,and you'll keep getting what you've been doing. If you have any girls in your life right now that you're friends,but who you're interested in,then I would just keep my interest hidden because it will wreck your friendship. What I'm saying is not to do this with a girl who you've just met,with a girl who you've not yet established a "friendship". In that situation,I'd reveal my interest from the getgo,as soon as possible.

This school year there were two girls that I was very interested in. Shortly after Girl A (whom I've written several threads about) found out that I liked her, all hell broke loose and she refused to talk to me for the rest of the semester.

Yeah,because you deceived her. If I had known,or thought I knew someone for a length of time,then all the sudden found out that they were putting up a front and basically being phony with me the whole time I knew them,I'd throw a fit too.

Of course everything that happened was my fault but it unfortunately still reinforces the belief that letting girls know I'm into them, makes things turn out very badly.

Wrong,wrong,wrong! Letting a girl know you like her doesn't make things turn out bad. It letting her know you like her AFTER being fake and pretending to be her friend for over half a year. Don't believe me? Then the next time you see a girl you like,let her know your interest from the getgo in a confident manner. Then watch what happens.

Anyways getting back on point, is it better to have a girl who knows you like her, hate you or being able to be freindly with a girl who doesn't know?

How about a third option. How about just not ending up in this situation in the first place? Revealing your interest FROM THE BEGINNING will detour you around both these friendzone potholes.

That's why I keep posting here. I haven't given up yet. I still have some energy, some drive.

Well having energy is good,but you don't want to be like a wheel stuck in a mudding hole. You step on the accelerator and the wheel just spins and spins and spins. The harder you press the gas,the faster the wheel spins. And not only do you not get out of the rut,but the more energy you expend,the deeper you go. Energy without knowledge just leads to frustration.

 

[Badmannaz]

i went out last night and i got rejected a couple times...i didnt care.. ;-) lol it didnt matter i was just kind of layed back...plus the guy/girl ratio was working against me and the type of venue also...lol o well...if i where u i would just start changing my life like
1.get a new job
2.get a new car
3.start working out
4.meet a new friend (guy) and make sure he's a ladies man...
5.buy new clothes

sometimes u must change your lifestyle to change your mindframe... but reading your post makes you come off like a chick...u have to learn how to not put your feelings into the dating world and see it as sport instead of the cure for your depression

 

[Maxtro]

However,it seems from your replies that even after all you've been through,you still don't understand WHY you're "continually getting friendzoned by girls who end up hating you". So I'll just flat out tell you. You want to know why you keep getting friendzoned? It's because you approach girls as a friend. Yeah,it's just that simple. You approach them as a friend,then they respond in like manner.

I got it it a while ago. I know that being friends first is not the way to go. Nothing good comes of it. That's why I've been severely limiting the contact I have with girls that I can call my friend. I'm basically in limbo with them. But I pretty much know I have no chance of doing them.

Your problem is fear. You want to be close to girls,but you're afraid of rejection. So your method of getting close to them is pretending to only want to be their friend.

And as for these girls hating you,the reason they "hate" you is because they feel deceived....and they're right. You deceived them by pretending to be their friend for the past 8 months,then one day,you decide to switch everything up on them. They feel that the WHOLE TIME you've been around them was just a sham,just some ploy to just try to get in their pants.

That's why they "hate" you.

You're 50% right. I do want to be close to girls and I am afraid of rejection. So I go the friends route because it is easier and more natural. But even then I only actually become friends with a very small number of women.

As for pretending to only want to be their friend, it's not an act. I do enjoy being their friend. I like having female friends and they enrich my life. The issue is that I suddenly become the devil when I want to eat the cake I have. It really sucks that women don't have sex with their friends. I'll never be able to understand how you can be close enough to somebody to tell your darkest secrets to but having sex with them is out of the question.

I almost feel like I'm the one being betrayed because they would rather end the friendship then let it progress to the next step. It makes no logical sense that a woman would have sex with a guy she's known for two weeks who she barely knows anything about and vice-versa, yet refuse sex with the guy who's known her for almost a year that knows everything about her. Of course the problem is that women aren't logical and nothing I do can change that.

YES!!!Take another look at what Badmannaz said.

He said This statement is pure genious. Think about it:If you've had mindset "A" for the past 10 years,and for the past 10 years,you've been angry,frustrated,and disappointed with your dating life,then how does going into the next 10 years with the same mindset (mindset A) suppose to produce what you want? If it hasn't helped you get what you want after 10 years,then why would it "suddenly" start helping?

I'm not grasping the mindset concept. What mind set do I have and what should I have?

THIS IS THE PROBLEM MAXTRO.
You say you're trying to protect your ego. How,by not risking rejection? That's the problem man. Look,without a risk of rejection,(either by the guy or the girl),there can be no dating/relationship. The risk of rejection is ESSENTIAL. And guess what? 90-95 percent of the time,it's us guys who'll have to put ourselves out there on the line.

As long as you're trying to avoid rejection,you'll keep ending up in this dead-end....and that's a promise.

This point seems to keep slipping your mind,so I'm going to say it again:

AS LONG AS YOU KEEP TRYING TO AVOID REJECTION,YOU'LL KEEP UP ENDING IN THE FRIENDZONE/A DEAD-END.

I know. Trust me I know. Without risk there can be no reward. I do take the risk, but at the point where I get completely fed up and by then I don't have a chance in hell of winning. In all honesty I've only been in the situation of having a close friendship then having it end because I wanted sex, two times in my life. Oddly enough they were both 18 year old black girls though I met the second one 3-4 years after the first. Even though both friendships ended for almost the exact same reasons, I handed both girls very differently when I was with them. I was much closer to the second and it felt like we were dating even though we weren't.

What I'm saying is not to do this with a girl who you've just met,with a girl who you've not yet established a "friendship". In that situation,I'd reveal my interest from the getgo,as soon as possible.

And that is my only option. I should have learned by now that there isn't really any benefit to being friends with a girl. Sure it's fun to have women in my life and I love the company. But since I will most likely get hurt in the end, it's just not worth it. With the new girls I will inevitably meet I need to show interest right away within the first couple of hangouts. And I need to make sure that she understands I'm into her, none of this ambiguous bullshit If it means that I'll have to spend my weekends alone, fine. At least there will be no confusion.

Wrong,wrong,wrong! Letting a girl know you like her doesn't make things turn out bad. It letting her know you like her AFTER being fake and pretending to be her friend for over half a year. Don't believe me? Then the next time you see a girl you like,let her know your interest from the getgo in a confident manner. Then watch what happens.

Sorry but telling me that my inherent subconscious beliefs are wrong just isn't going to help. It's all a learned though. When a girl finds out that I like her, she wants nothing to do with me. I didn't start having female friends until my early 20's. Every girl that rejected me from 13 to 20 I was not friends with. Of course I was an extremely quiet guy and I never talked to any of them.

Of course the answer now is to be social with girls and quickly let them know of my interest though my actions. I wish I knew this shit ten years ago back when I was still in High School. I wonder if that's why the girls I'm into are all 18-19 and fresh out of High School. I feel like I never got to enjoy my youth.

u have to learn how to not put your feelings into the dating world and see it as sport instead of the cure for your depression

HOW?!?!?!

 

[Poonani Maker]

The older women see me as "wrong" and want to "correct" me. The younger women see me as "right" and want to be seen with me. Same difference. They're both craving attention, that I don't always have time for.

 

[Cinamon]

I love feisty guys, it makes it more of a challenge, the ones i wont go for are the ones that cant stand up and fight their corner. Conflict boosts adrenalin and gives a whole new dimension to relationship or casual fun....

The number of guys i have ended up having a lot of fun with by starting with conflict... its worth its weight in gold.

 

[Badmannaz]

it's like this maxtro...u see how your thinking now...and you see how many chicks you have....ok well life is nothing but an equation

saying you'll never find what your looking for with the same mindframe is like saying 2-2=0

so in order to get one if you changed something ABOUT YOURSELF for the positive then you add one point....2+1=3-2=1

but dont excpect a different outcome if your not a different person than before..