Older man says he is no longer interested in dating

[MatureDJ]

He seems to be SEAMaxxing, and discusses how older women in his old home state of Indiana are usually "40 to 50 pounds overweight", "with tattoos" - and that older men just lose interest in sex with "unattractive partners", and if they haven't dated in a while, they have "low confidence".

 

[DJ Novice]

The quality of women in the 50+ age bracket isn’t that great.

 

[The Duke]

He seems to be SEAMaxxing, and discusses how older women in his old home state of Indiana are usually "40 to 50 pounds overweight", "with tattoos" - and that older men just lose interest in sex with "unattractive partners", and if they haven't dated in a while, they have "low confidence".

So why do you think he agreed to have a kid with his Phillipino girl that he made his wife?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

He is ugly.
He is getting his looksmatch back in the US.

 

[Manure Spherian]

So why do you think he agreed to have a kid with his Phillipino girl that he made his wife?

I saw that video a few days ago because I’m subbed to that channel. If I recall correctly I think he was describing other men besides himself who lose interest. I think he sounded reasonable in the video.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Not sure what he is expecting. He is old and looks old - therefore his matches are old too (which is natural, for at this age you should be more about keeping your quality of life high in terms of health, money but also family life - meaning he should be already past the chasing tails stage unless divorce, death of LTR female partner etc.)

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

He is old and looks old

He also sounds old. Tired, depressed, bored. At a certain point in life, I guess the effort of securing a life partner no longer feels that necessary anymore. Sex becomes 'too much effort'. You start to prefer your own company.

Personally, I prefer the post-divorce solitary part of my life and I'm looking forward to the time when I don't need to take care of my teenage children anymore. However, women seem think I'm good company, so I probably won't have to 'survive' my retirement 'alone'.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Not sure what he is expecting. He is old and looks old - therefore his matches are old too

Did you watch the video? He didn’t express an expectation of anything.

 

[Westminster]

Did you watch the video? He didn’t express an expectation of anything.

The video is well worth watching IMO. Whilst it doesn't say anything revolutionary, it's thought-provoking and well put together.

 

[Manure Spherian]

The video is well worth watching IMO. Whilst it doesn't say anything revolutionary, it's thought-provoking and well put together.

Yes. I’m wondering if some even watched it.

 

[SW15]

I did watch the video and it touches on a lot of different points.

This is a 55+ man discussing the experiences of 55+ men who have found themselves single after a divorce. Rarely is he discussing the experience of the life long single male. The 55+ men of today are Boomers and and Gen X'ers who grew up in a different world than Millennials. I'm an older Millennial with a Millennial worldview. Few Boomers and Gen X'ers are life long singles, though this will change when more of the Millennials get into their 50s. However, the majority of older Millennials (1980s born ones) have gotten married and many have young families now and are starting them. With that said, there is more childlessness and more life long single males among Millennials than predecessor generations.

55+ men who grew up in a Western nation had a healthier sexual marketplace than the Millennials that came of age circa 2000 and later.

His own experiences and the men he talks to are men who grew up with the blue pill ideology of getting traditionally monogamously married. These are men who were born in the late 1940s - late 1960s and were really coming of age as Second Wave Feminism (1960s-1980s feminism) was starting to take hold. They grew up to believe in the example of sustainable marriages as their GI Generation parents (1910s-early 1920 births) and Silent Generation parents (late 1920s - 1945 births) had lower divorce rates. The GI Generation that raised most of the earlier Boomers stayed married (whether they were happy or not is another discussion) and the Silent Generation had a better track record in marriage than successor generations. Things started to change for the Silents, especially the later ones. The Silent Generation was the first generation to use the birth control pill (between 1960-1965, almost no Boomers were old enough to be on birth control) and they were the earliest no fault divorces of the 1970s USA. From 1970-1975, most Boomers were either in new marriages and not unhappy yet or too young to actually be married. In the 1970s, the Gen X kids of the first wave of no fault divorcee Silent Gen parents were called 'latchkey children'. In general, both Boomers and Gen X'ers grew up with a healthier notion of marriage from the sustainable marriages of their parents. Whese these Boomers and Gen X'ers reached adulthood in a changing sexual marketplace due to the Sexual Revolution/Second Wave Feminism, they soon learned that the model of adult romantic relationships they had growing up was far less realistic. While most of them could find girlfriends and even wives (the rise of incels didn't start until Millennials), they might not have been able to keep those marriages together "til death do you part". Boomers and early Gen X'ers experienced a good deal of divorce. A failed marriage has a good chance of shattering a blue pill ideology.

Men find youthful looking female bodies most attractive. This is what tends to give men erections whether they are in their 20s or 50+. Women's bodies become less exciting to look at as they age. Even an in-shape 40 year old woman doesn't have as nice of a body as a 22 year old college senior with a normal range BMI. For older men looking to date again, finding a woman who is attractive isn't going to be easy as he'll have to choose from women near his own age. That statement is more true for USA/Western men staying in their Western home country. Some men choose to try to solve this problem by going to Asia or Latin America where they think they have a better chance of getting a substantially younger woman. This is a smaller subset of older men as most older Western men end up staying in their Western country. I rarely talk about Western men going to Eastern Europe, Asia, or Latin America for mating purposes because I don't personally have experience with it.

Guys in their 50s/60s dating women near their own age have to deal with blended families. These older men typically had their own children in their own earlier in life marriages and then the women in their 50s/60s often have teens - early 30s children. Depending on the age of the children, it's a pain in the butt. A 50 year old woman might still have a 15 year old who is still living at home and an 18-24 year old who still might have some level of dependency on their divorcée mom and could even still be living at home. That's not a fun experience for a 50 or 55+ man to deal with. Blending households with adult children who are mostly independent is also not a fun experience for older couples. It's not fun for the older couple themselves and the adult children on both sides tend to not like it too much either.

 

[The Duke]

I saw that video a few days ago because I’m subbed to that channel. If I recall correctly I think he was describing other men besides himself who lose interest. I think he sounded reasonable in the video.

Its mentioned at the 10:27 mark.

He had a baby with his wife when he was 68. Here's one of his vid's where he talks about it.

 

[The Duke]

Here is his fiance, now wife. He talks about how they met. They met off some Phillipine dating site.

Their first date she brought her mom and two friends!

 

[SW15]

He had a baby with his wife when he was 68.

I could not imagine starting with a new child at 68. Men can do this because we don't have a biological clock.

There are some practical considerations that function like a biological clock though. Most middle aged + men can't attract a woman young enough to bear children for him. Also, there are also the considerations of staying employed, retirement planning, and staying alive which can impact the decision to have children later in life.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Most middle aged + men can't attract a woman young enough to bear children for him.

The majority won't be able to attract them, but you'd be surprised how many fertile women would want a child from a man who fathered children before. Old age is not like it was decades ago.

and staying alive which can impact the decision to have children later in life.

There are no guarantees that you'll live to a ripe old age, so once you pass 55, you stop worrying about that. Sure, you might die before the kids become adults, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't father more children. Life is fickle and you might live longer than you figured. Or your life may get snuffed out before you reach retirement.

 

[Westminster]

The majority won't be able to attract them, but you'd be surprised how many fertile women would want a child from a man who fathered children before. Old age is not like it was decades ago.


There are no guarantees that you'll live to a ripe old age, so once you pass 55, you stop worrying about that. Sure, you might die before the kids become adults, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't father more children. Life is fickle and you might live longer than you figured. Or your life may get snuffed out before you reach retirement.

Well put.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

I could not imagine starting with a new child at 68. Men can do this because we don't have a biological clock.

There are some practical considerations that function like a biological clock though. Most middle aged + men can't attract a woman young enough to bear children for him. Also, there are also the considerations of staying employed, retirement planning, and staying alive which can impact the decision to have children later in life.

Lets be more specific. First we need to define middle age. I always found it odd as meaning in your 50's...who lives to over 100?

However I can share from personal experience. I just turned 45 when my son was born, my wife was 30. I was a total gym rat and competed in bodybuilding and trained in MMA until my mid 50's...56 to be exact. I still weight train today. No drugs, no alcohol.

I was pretty vigouros except at age 60 I had a massive seizure while training and actually died a couple of times and was brought back. My son was there when it happened so it was pretty traumatic for him.

Now at 62 I am definitely feeling my age. Having a 17 year old son is great but I could not imagine chasing a toddler around at this age. And I still invest a tremendous amount of time in my son. He is a pretty elite wrestler so I was doing his S and C (Strength and Conditioning) until pretty recently and I still drive him across town to the best wrestling club in the city. This Saturday I have to get up at 6:30 and go to his Super 32 tournament all day. Until his sophomore year he was a big football player and when younger did tons of sports...so that all required a ton of investment.

So the point is kids are a huge investment. And even after turning 18 you still need to pay for college so you need to make money util they are 22.

I am not sure if I would want to have kids any later than 50, and even 50 would be extremely demanding.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Its mentioned at the 10:27 mark.

He had a baby with his wife when he was 68. Here's one of his vid's where he talks about it.

No offence but the guy is just bending the hypergamy by going where his actual value is vastly inflated (Philippines), then going transactional-marrying path (his money Vs her youth) and popping kid while reaching almost 70. When his child will be teenager, it will use paper towel to clean up his butt probably or his trophy-wife will just leave him at retirement home hoping "it will go quick since now on".

I mean if someone thinks the game or bending hypergamy this way is the way to live in 2024' then sure, be my guest but my opinion is that younger wife may be too young (you need a partner, not a money sink / temporary trophy), there's time for parenting and there's time for enjoying other aspects of life (for example building value for others - at least for your family and children - where value is not only about money but also about guiding others through life).

Sure you can do a video how well you do with women in third-world country (or even Africa where you can have woman for whole night for food, sweets or basic luxury products) but it's not like your SMV skyrocketed. It always seemed to be some sort of escape from brutal reality when guys do things like that (I do not judge young guys going there for temporary fun, it may be great way to spend holidays) but going transactional marriage path at this age and popping kids? Looks like poor retirement plan.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Looks like poor retirement plan.

So, what's yours?

 

[Manure Spherian]

No offence but the guy is just bending the hypergamy by going where his actual value is vastly inflated (Philippines), then going transactional-marrying path (his money Vs her youth) and popping kid while reaching almost 70. When his child will be teenager, it will use paper towel to clean up his butt probably or his trophy-wife will just leave him at retirement home hoping "it will go quick since now on".

I mean if someone thinks the game or bending hypergamy this way is the way to live in 2024' then sure, be my guest but my opinion is that younger wife may be too young (you need a partner, not a money sink / temporary trophy), there's time for parenting and there's time for enjoying other aspects of life (for example building value for others - at least for your family and children - where value is not only about money but also about guiding others through life).

Sure you can do a video how well you do with women in third-world country (or even Africa where you can have woman for whole night for food, sweets or basic luxury products) but it's not like your SMV skyrocketed. It always seemed to be some sort of escape from brutal reality when guys do things like that (I do not judge young guys going there for temporary fun, it may be great way to spend holidays) but going transactional marriage path at this age and popping kids? Looks like poor retirement plan.

There is no workable “serious” relationship or marriage that is a charity. There is a transactional component, and if there weren’t, households would fall apart. That doesn’t mean there isn’t romance and lust.

Apparently this guy’s path works for him.

Do you think someone who moves out of Manhattan or Los Angeles to a more forgiving area is escaping reality or dealing with reality? Is a “5” marrying a “4” instead of seeking supermodels dealing with reality or escaping it or facing the music and leveraging what he has. Of course another option is to be womanless.