Older man says he is no longer interested in dating

Joined
Aug 22, 2024
Messages
41
Reaction score
20
Age
39
So, what's yours?
Have two or three children with my wife (7 years younger than me) and raise them until they will become self-sufficient, have my own business fully covering my needs (this will need a lot of work but that's my dream and already some plan in motion), enjoy family gatherings when I will get old. I plan to work to some extent until my health will allow me to. So nothing extraordinary I guess - nothing stupid either.
 

FlirtLife

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2023
Messages
499
Reaction score
253
He seems to be SEAMaxxing
If you watched the video, he gave up on relationships before moving to SEA, and wasn't initially interested in dating.

He is ugly. He is getting his looksmatch back in the US.
If you watched the video, you'd know he isn't in the US.

Not sure what he is expecting. He is old and looks old - therefore his matches are old too
If you watched the video, you would know he wasn't matching old women.
 

FlirtLife

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2023
Messages
499
Reaction score
253
The video is well worth watching IMO. Whilst it doesn't say anything revolutionary, it's thought-provoking and well put together.
Yes. I’m wondering if some even watched it.
The younger guy commenting mentions "society-wide **** test", which I enjoyed. He also drew an interesting comparison between young guys claiming they are "going their own way", when in fact any chance to get laid, and they'll take it. The older guy in the video has other priorities in life than women, and has already been married and raised kids.

I wound up watching that video, and a couple others. In the U.S., he already had two grown children and had given up on getting married / having further relationships. Only after moving abroad did he feel revitalized. He was able to do more with the same budget. Years after he moved, he only tried dating after noticing guys his age and older were doing it.

Some people claim his girlfriend was a gold digger. Is a typical gold-digger technique to bring your mom and two friends to the first date? And then ignore the guy you want to use for his money? He actually gave up on her, because of her lack of interest. She was even insulted when he offered her cab fare (tricycle in the Philippines) for the ride home. Gold digging doesn't match the facts, at all.
 

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
1,173
Reaction score
1,056
Age
46
The younger guy commenting mentions "society-wide **** test", which I enjoyed. He also drew an interesting comparison between young guys claiming they are "going their own way", when in fact any chance to get laid, and they'll take it. The older guy in the video has other priorities in life than women, and has already been married and raised kids.

I wound up watching that video, and a couple others. In the U.S., he already had two grown children and had given up on getting married / having further relationships. Only after moving abroad did he feel revitalized. He was able to do more with the same budget. Years after he moved, he only tried dating after noticing guys his age and older were doing it.

Some people claim his girlfriend was a gold digger. Is a typical gold-digger technique to bring your mom and two friends to the first date? And then ignore the guy you want to use for his money? He actually gave up on her, because of her lack of interest. She was even insulted when he offered her cab fare (tricycle in the Philippines) for the ride home. Gold digging doesn't match the facts, at all.
Right. I also don’t know how he “escaped reality” or what’s wrong about doing what works with one’s own SMV.
 
Joined
Aug 22, 2024
Messages
41
Reaction score
20
Age
39
There is no workable “serious” relationship or marriage that is a charity. There is a transactional component, and if there weren’t, households would fall apart. That doesn’t mean there isn’t romance and lust.
Reproductive-age female lust after average looking 68y old guy? We aren't talking about George Clooney type of guy here. Ask 30y old woman whether she finds average looking 68y old guy attractive and tell me what you have found out. I bet the answer will be somewhere between "Yuck" to "Ewww".

Apparently this guy’s path works for him.
For now his beliefs are not in check.

Do you think someone who moves out of Manhattan or Los Angeles to a more forgiving area is escaping reality or dealing with reality? Is a “5” marrying a “4” instead of seeking supermodels dealing with reality or escaping it or facing the music and leveraging what he has. Of course another option is to be womanless.
5 marrying a 4 is entirely natural. If you are 5 in looks (btw he is slightly above average looking 68y old male, so he is not 5/10, most likely 3.5/10 in looks tops now, taking age under consideration) and you want to marry supermodel, it is called fantasy or a transaction (if you have enough $$$ or mix of $$$ and fame or social worth) because your game and looks will not carry you on forever. Reality will always chase you. That guy being 3.5/10 went for like 6/10? 6.5/10 and half his age? This means troubles buddy. Maybe not now, maybe not in a year, but eventually it means inevitable breakup or getting cucked (it will end this way or another).

If I would be in this guys shoes I would
- keep contact with my family, children and friends (if any) - so no SEA other than fun trips if this is his preference
- if no family (like already mature children btw. ex-wife does not count) therefore no worrying about the future of children (I'm the type that considers it important) - then try to find ok looking, elegant, around 50, perhaps 50+ female that is not only after his financial assets (single, no children) and enjoy her companionship from time to time or just abstain from looking for any LTR (if that would fail) whatsoever and just pay-for-fun from time to time (but keep those expenses in check) and pursue hobbies instead

He kind of went YOLO and overboard with it/with "do as you please" mentality - alas it seems for him it doesn't really matter at this point - perhaps he decided to do not agree with being past action-time and his options were limited so decided to SEAmaxx how the OP called it - alas I do not envy the eventual burdens and outcome (as already mentioned, that female is with him on a contractual basis only, child will not change much - if he thinks otherwise, he does not understand SEA females mentality)

There is no workable “serious” relationship or marriage that is a charity. There is a transactional component, and if there weren’t, households would fall apart. That doesn’t mean there isn’t romance and lust.
Yeah, but there's a relationship with good foundations where you and your female partner both exchange interest built on somewhat similar attraction levels for each other bodies, minds and souls (which is somewhat even, even if you are slightly more about her looks and she gets slightly more high about your career prospects or your intellect than your body) while he has entered basic-level (therefore transactional) relationship where he exchanges his material assets and abilities connected with them for her interest and access to her body (because he would probably still prefer interesting conversation with attractive western female interested in him other his usual convo with Philipinian wife and she would prefer body of young male other his body in case she could keep his assets for use but exclude him). This is why it is called "transactional" and standard relationship is standard (btw. term "expensive car" does not mean that "car" is for free - hope you see the logical fallacy in stating that "all relationships are transactional" - because we sure know it - except the levels of transactions and the bond based on them is entirely different - that's why we have terms like "golddiggers" used for some type of ppl.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,544
Reaction score
4,346
Reproductive-age female lust after average looking 68y old guy? We aren't talking about George Clooney type of guy here. Ask 30y old woman whether she finds average looking 68y old guy attractive and tell me what you have found out. I bet the answer will be somewhere between "Yuck" to "Ewww".



For now his beliefs are not in check.



5 marrying a 4 is entirely natural. If you are 5 in looks (btw he is slightly above average looking 68y old male, so he is not 5/10, most likely 3.5/10 in looks tops now, taking age under consideration) and you want to marry supermodel, it is called fantasy or a transaction (if you have enough $$$ or mix of $$$ and fame or social worth) because your game and looks will not carry you on forever. Reality will always chase you. That guy being 3.5/10 went for like 6/10? 6.5/10 and half his age? This means troubles buddy. Maybe not now, maybe not in a year, but eventually it means inevitable breakup or getting cucked (it will end this way or another).

If I would be in this guys shoes I would
- keep contact with my family, children and friends (if any) - so no SEA other than fun trips if this is his preference
- if no family (like already mature children btw. ex-wife does not count) therefore no worrying about the future of children (I'm the type that considers it important) - then try to find ok looking, elegant, around 50, perhaps 50+ female that is not only after his financial assets (single, no children) and enjoy her companionship from time to time or just abstain from looking for any LTR (if that would fail) whatsoever and just pay-for-fun from time to time (but keep those expenses in check) and pursue hobbies instead

He kind of went YOLO and overboard with it/with "do as you please" mentality - alas it seems for him it doesn't really matter at this point - perhaps he decided to do not agree with being past action-time and his options were limited so decided to SEAmaxx how the OP called it - alas I do not envy the eventual burdens and outcome (as already mentioned, that female is with him on a contractual basis only, child will not change much - if he thinks otherwise, he does not understand SEA females mentality)



Yeah, but there's a relationship with good foundations where you and your female partner both exchange interest built on somewhat similar attraction levels for each other bodies, minds and souls (which is somewhat even, even if you are slightly more about her looks and she gets slightly more high about your career prospects or your intellect than your body) while he has entered basic-level (therefore transactional) relationship where he exchanges his material assets and abilities connected with them for her interest and access to her body (because he would probably still prefer interesting conversation with attractive western female interested in him other his usual convo with Philipinian wife and she would prefer body of young male other his body in case she could keep his assets for use but exclude him). This is why it is called "transactional" and standard relationship is standard (btw. term "expensive car" does not mean that "car" is for free - hope you see the logical fallacy in stating that "all relationships are transactional" - because we sure know it - except the levels of transactions and the bond based on them is entirely different - that's why we have terms like "golddiggers" used for some type of ppl.
I agree. Although dude does live his best life, let's not fool ourselves.

We've all been with women with obviously lower smv and yet even those women will act the fool and display the worst features of female nature. You can be a 7 dating a 5 and yet she can break up with you due to all the familiar reasons.

I've been with women significantly older but in positions of power( male gold digger). Being a man at that, getting a wet hole in front of you ,while she is willing to give you the world still isn't enough to KEEP you around. Now imagine that from the female POV...

This whole SEA escape route thing is the western men's joker for decades. And even that one is crumbling.
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,589
Reaction score
8,454
I'm just going to be happy for the guy. Good for him.

What some of you guys don't get is you can find the perfect woman, perfect SMV match, and still wind up having problems and breaking up/seeking divorce. There are no guarantees.

There are also cultural differences in the Phillipines that change this case some, many we may not be aware of. Divorce being illegal in the Phillipines certainly has an effect.

I'd rather enjoy life with a good woman and accept the risks that come with it than sit on the sidelines. I know I can always find me another one if the current one doesn't work out. And I just might end up like this guy in 15yrs. No big deal.

Some of you need to live a little more. Stop thinking of 100 reasons why you shouldn't do something and 100 reasons why you should.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,544
Reaction score
4,346
I'm just going to be happy for the guy. Good for him.

What some of you guys don't get is you can find the perfect woman, perfect SMV match, and still wind up having problems and breaking up/seeking divorce. There are no guarantees.

There are also cultural differences in the Phillipines that change this case some, many we may not be aware of. Divorce being illegal in the Phillipines certainly has an effect.

I'd rather enjoy life with a good woman and accept the risks that come with it than sit on the sidelines. I know I can always find me another one if the current one doesn't work out. And I just might end up like this guy in 15yrs. No big deal.

Some of you need to live a little more. Stop thinking of 100 reasons why you shouldn't do something and 100 reasons why you should.
You do have a point there
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
3,661
Reaction score
3,125
Location
California
If you watched the video, he gave up on relationships before moving to SEA, and wasn't initially interested in dating.


If you watched the video, you'd know he isn't in the US.


If you watched the video, you would know he wasn't matching old women.
What I’m saying is he would be getting the old, fat unattractive looksmach if he were back home.
 
Top