OLD - Agreed Upon Meetup, After Some Drag Time

[SH03C]

Update -

I sensed a bit of hesitation upon asking for a 2nd date on Tuesday night. I made the decision to be direct and clear about my thoughts on that. Now I’m concerned this may backfire. I know some DJs would say I made the right move by asserting my standards, but I’m interested in hearing whether I went too far overboard. Refer to image.

As always, any and all perspective is appreciated.

 

[RobbyDog]

Update -

I sensed a bit of hesitation upon asking for a 2nd date on Tuesday night. I made the decision to be direct and clear about my thoughts on that. Now I’m concerned this may backfire. I know some DJs would say I made the right move by asserting my standards, but I’m interested in hearing whether I went too far overboard. Refer to image.

As always, any and all perspective is appreciated.

You need to show us the previous messages to provide context

 

[SH03C]

You need to show us the previous messages to provide context

Full convo attached.

 

[RobbyDog]

I don’t see where there was any real hesitation…she simply asked an innocent question about the timing of a show. It’s totally normal for women to hesitate a bit too. As another member here put it perfectly—women are a Rubik’s cube of emotion and indecision. You are being over sensitive to possible rejection, which unfortunately will become a self fulfilling prophecy. You need to be confident enough in yourself to push through this. Your replies were way out to lunch and I can see why she’s confused.

After her question, I would have said (and you can still say):

“I’d like to take you to XXX show on XXX day at XXX time. Let me know how that sounds and I’ll make arrangements to pick you up.”

her response to that dictates your next move

 

[SH03C]

I don’t see where there was any real hesitation…she simply asked an innocent question about the timing of a show. It’s totally normal for women to hesitate a bit too. As another member here put it perfectly—women are a Rubik’s cube of emotion and indecision. You are being over sensitive to possible rejection, which unfortunately will become a self fulfilling prophecy. You need to be confident enough in yourself to push through this. Your replies were way out to lunch and I can see why she’s confused.

After her question, I would have said (and you can still say):

“I’d like to take you to XXX show on XXX day at XXX time. Let me know how that sounds and I’ll make arrangements to pick you up.”

her response to that dictates your next move

So I did apologize, in a sense. Probably a weak move.

Should I expect to hear back again?

 

[RobbyDog]

Who knows if you’ll hear back. It’s not looking promising TBH

The ball is firmly in her court now anyway.

 

[Bigpapa]

So I did apologize, in a sense. Probably a weak move.

Should I expect to hear back again?

man … you shooting yourself in the foot multiple times in a row

that was a sh1t test from her end , and you failed it

 

[SH03C]

man … you shooting yourself in the foot multiple times in a row

that was a sh1t test from her end , and you failed it

I did actually think that at the time. Unfortunately I was too hyped up off preworkout and post exercise adrenaline and so I let it get the best of me…

 

[SH03C]

Final Result. See image.

Learned a great deal and have you guys to thank. Appreciate all the advice. Admittedly I got oneitis after being out the game for so long.

Funny thing is I’m not some ugly pleeb. I just don’t do too well in social environments. Also make 120k/yr, though dont mention that to these chicks.

In any case, drinking the sorrows and looking to the future. Sucks now but will get better with time and experience.

 

[biggoal]

Final Result. See image.

Learned a great deal and have you guys to thank. Appreciate all the advice. Admittedly I got oneitis after being out the game for so long.

Funny thing is I’m not some ugly pleeb. I just don’t do too well in social environments. Also make 120k/yr, though dont mention that to these chicks.

In any case, drinking the sorrows and looking to the future. Sucks now but will get better with time and experience.

Sucks, but gotta move on. I see a lot of these post from OLD the last year or so on sosuave and other sites people with OLD oneitis and freaking out when no second date. It's because of scarcity. I'd be more butthurt about wasting money over paying for their meal and no second date than not actually getting a second date. I think it's because OLD has tanked why you're seeing all these posts.

Before Covid I'd be talking to 3 people at one time. On weeks with good streaks maybe 7 people.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Final Result. See image.

Learned a great deal and have you guys to thank. Appreciate all the advice. Admittedly I got oneitis after being out the game for so long.

Funny thing is I’m not some ugly pleeb. I just don’t do too well in social environments. Also make 120k/yr, though dont mention that to these chicks.

In any case, drinking the sorrows and looking to the future. Sucks now but will get better with time and experience.

You're in a scarcity mindset if you have to drink in order to get over the rejection. You need a mentality change. You make 120k a year. You're already a high value man. You're in the financial bracket that most women are looking for. Some criticisms of your texts... You over validated by telling her "amazing person". She didn't donate half of her savings to charity, or run into a burning building to save some animals. That was over validating. It showed neediness. Then by showing impatience due to being direct (read pushy) as far as forcing her hand on making a choice, that showed neediness. Then going back and explaining your actions to her is putting you in her frame of trying to validate yourself to her. More neediness.

I wasn't surprised to see that she rejected you. You made the interaction with her too confrontational, and heavy/serious.

 

[SH03C]

You're in a scarcity mindset if you have to drink in order to get over the rejection. You need a mentality change. You make 120k a year. You're already a high value man. You're in the financial bracket that most women are looking for. Some criticisms of your texts... You over validated by telling her "amazing person". She didn't donate half of her savings to charity, or run into a burning building to save some animals. That was over validating. It showed neediness. Then by showing impatience due to being direct (read pushy) as far as forcing her hand on making a choice, that showed neediness. Then going back and explaining your actions to her is putting you in her frame of trying to validate yourself to her. More neediness.

I wasn't surprised to see that she rejected you. You made the interaction with her too confrontational, and heavy/serious.

Yep, many mistakes and it’ll be good to learn from them all. Had I presented the proper 2nd date formula (Let’s meet xxx @ xxx during xxx) I would have not gotten insecure about her follow up question to the offer and she would have been presented with a yes/no question. I would have not gotten concerned about her follow up and this would have never lead to where it is now.

 

[RobbyDog]

You’ll get there my friend.
The theme I see throughout this thread is you’re so worried about making a mistake…you’re so concerned with the outcome. You have to get to a place where you don’t care so much about one woman, then you won’t overthink and make mistakes.

You placed so much value on this woman, and even basically said you didn’t feel good enough for her. A woman NEVER wants to feel like she’s “above” her guy. Women have this sixth sense about them where they can SMELL insecurity in a man. I believe this sense was developed thousands of years ago, when mating with the wrong man could literally mean death.

 

[biggoal]

You're in a scarcity mindset if you have to drink in order to get over the rejection. You need a mentality change. You make 120k a year. You're already a high value man. You're in the financial bracket that most women are looking for. Some criticisms of your texts... You over validated by telling her "amazing person". She didn't donate half of her savings to charity, or run into a burning building to save some animals. That was over validating. It showed neediness. Then by showing impatience due to being direct (read pushy) as far as forcing her hand on making a choice, that showed neediness. Then going back and explaining your actions to her is putting you in her frame of trying to validate yourself to her. More neediness.

I wasn't surprised to see that she rejected you. You made the interaction with her too confrontational, and heavy/serious.

The money thing is a problem too. if you're using that as a big attraction point then you're attracting gold diggers. The upside is those women are typically better looking of course. The money thing should be an accessory to attracting women, not your main selling point. You can tell on OLD though. So many women are openly gold diggers when you read their profiles.

 

[DonJuanjr]

The money thing is a problem too. if you're using that as a big attraction point then you're attracting gold diggers.

I never suggested for him to use it as an attraction point. I mentioned it so he'd realize that he's a high value male in the eyes of women because of that. Regardless of whether they know it or not.

 

[SH03C]

I’m thinking I should potentially apologize to this girl for the way I came across via text. I’d like to know whether it is something to consider. As a person I think it’s important to own up to your mistakes but of course I don’t want to come across as desperate or needy.

That said, would appreciate any input on whether I should take this route. Attached is a draft of my apology to her, as well as our most recent text exchange. Thanks guys, would tip you if I could!

 

[Chuck Taylor]

I’m thinking I should potentially apologize to this girl for the way I came across via text. I’d like to know whether it is something to consider. As a person I think it’s important to own up to your mistakes but of course I don’t want to come across as desperate or needy.

That said, would appreciate any input on whether I should take this route. Attached is a draft of my apology to her, as well as our most recent text exchange. Thanks guys, would tip you if I could!

This ship's sailed. Abort mission. Danger, Will Robinson. You've texted her far too much, and she's no longer 'feeling' anything for you. She's 'thinking.' That's no good.

I am ordering you not to text her any apology - or anything ever again. But, you're probably going to anyway.

 

[RobbyDog]

You owe her nothing. Delete her number and pursue other women.

 

[Chuck Taylor]

You owe her nothing. Delete her number and pursue other women.

Don't frame it like that. HE messed up and drove her away.

She wasn't the problem here. He was.

 

[RobbyDog]

Don't frame it like that. HE messed up and drove her away.

She wasn't the problem here. He was.

No argument there, but there’s no sense in him dwelling on his mistakes. The important thing is to forget about this one and move on.