OkCupid women rate 80% of men below average..

[IndeedSir]

For those of you who haven't seen this, interesting stuff.

http://drhelen.blogspot.com.au/2011/06/vox-at-alpha-game-dont-listen-to-female.html

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

I realise this is one dating site, however it is a large one and the data looks as solid as it can for a social science. It's an interesting concept anyway.

 

[May_Day]

My sister tried Ok Cupid and even POF, she said most of the men on there are fugly. Most of the messages she got she deleted and those same dudes kept writing her back for weeks asking her to go out. I had a good laugh at some of the funny looking dudes on there. Some players go on there to score chicks but most of them are below average in looks. If you look pretty good you will even appear better when you're matched up with other men there. Average dudes go there because they can't get chicks so it's not really a big surprise when you know the deal.

 

[IndeedSir]

Is that really true? I have never tried online dating so I know nothing about it.

 

[DJFear]

80% below average?? That seems way too high. Unless of course their average is Brad Pitt look alike. Having said that, a lot of women have unrealistic expectations now days, even the less hot ones, all want their prince charming. They live in a fantasy, especially online but hey they still get plenty of attention so they can afford to be picky.

 

[bukowski_merit]

I think the #s are a bit skewed and here's why:

If a woman rates a man a 4-5 back in 2009 (it's different now; you both have to rate each other 4-5 to get the message) he would get a message saying "she likes you"....

So, the numbers can reflect that women are only going to rate guys they find very attractive as a 4-5. And what do they normally do with the rest? Probably hit 1... That's what I do... What does it matter? If you don't hit 4-5 - there's no purpose in trying to determine if they're a 1-2 or 3. In fact, there's no purpose in choosing between 4 or 5 either.

With that said - I do believe that "good looking" is what most girls set as the baseline when on OKC. They'll talk to guys that are decent enough looking to talk to; but that guy has to do work. If she's totally into a guy - she'd puddy unless he really fvcks it up........

 

[JohnnyStorm]

http://80000hours.org/blog/124-do-you-think-you-re-better-than-average

 

[Mike32ct]

Only men recognize "average" looks. Average doesn't really exist in the female hamster mind.

There's cute/hot, and there is not hot.

Calling a guy average is like giving partial credit for an exam question. Women use an all points or zero points grading system. Unfortunately, no partial credit is allowed*.

*I don't agree with this, but it is what it is.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Yeah this is spot on. Women confuse genuine interest, for genuine interest in getting laid.

They all go for the tatted muscle guys then complain about how they lie to them and play games with them. Just read their profiles, all they do is complain about guys playing games with them. It's hilarious to read when you really know whats going on. Women have absolutely no concept of what it is to earn or deserve anything.

 

[skinnyguy]

Well to be fair I'd rate 90% of POF/OKC women below average. Most of them are overweight single moms, so it's not representative of the population. Also if you think about it, guys on OKCupid are guys who can't get women in real life, so there will be a tilt toward more ugly guys on there.

SgtSplacker is spot on about how confused women are...

 

[GoodMan32]

I came across this thread. Even though the thread is a decade old, it remains a relevant topic (a woman rating 80% of men as below average)

Here's what I don't get: If the typical woman rates 80% of men (in other words, any man below an 8 on the looks scale) as below average, how is it that a lot of sub-8 men get wives/long-term girlfriends/steady casual sex/etc?

 

[saige]

If the typical woman rates 80% of men (in other words, any man below an 8 on the looks scale) as below average, how is it that a lot of sub-8 men get wives/long-term girlfriends/steady casual sex/etc?

A couple of things.
First off, she might not be attracted to him at the start, but contrary to what some of this forum thinks, I think the most important thing she’ll take in account is the personal connection/vibe she senses.

This can’t really be explained through words, but you can tell if someone has good, stable energy, almost an aura you get from them whenever they speak. On the other hand, negative and desperate energy is very easy to sniff out in a guy. You shouldn’t go in thinking you need to pull a girl by the end of the night, the goal is to socialize/have a fun time and she will follow. If you go in with the mindset “I need to get laid and find a woman to go home with me” I guarantee you she will find that energy repulsive. Even if you don’t have a lot of options, act as though you have plenty of abundance. Confidence is like a magnet.

A lot of the characteristics some of you might think work on women (negging tactics, acting hot and cold) shouldn’t be generalized to all women. They’ll work perfect on a subset of women who are emotionally unavailable and most likely traumatized for some reason.

My next point is that a guy you think is sub 7 or whatever isn’t a subjective rating. The woman might consider him just her type, a perfect 10. My boyfriend who I’ve been with for over a year as an example. My roomate for some reason told me she couldn’t see how I found him attractive at all, she said “he’s not cute and acts weird as hell.” My other friends have told me he was “classically handsome,” “very good looking,” and super nice. My point is everyone will have differing opinions on how a guy looks or acts.

Physical attraction might appear superficial but types exist, and the dude you think looks busted looks amazing to another woman.

 

[SW15]

it remains a relevant topic (a woman rating 80% of men as below average)

This study still gets talked about today on the internet.

 

[GoodMan32]

A couple of things.
First off, she might not be attracted to him at the start, but contrary to what some of this forum thinks, I think the most important thing she’ll take in account is the personal connection/vibe she senses.

This can’t really be explained through words, but you can tell if someone has good, stable energy, almost an aura you get from them whenever they speak. On the other hand, negative and desperate energy is very easy to sniff out in a guy. You shouldn’t go in thinking you need to pull a girl by the end of the night, the goal is to socialize/have a fun time and she will follow. If you go in with the mindset “I need to get laid and find a woman to go home with me” I guarantee you she will find that energy repulsive. Even if you don’t have a lot of options, act as though you have plenty of abundance. Confidence is like a magnet.

A lot of the characteristics some of you might think work on women (negging tactics, acting hot and cold) shouldn’t be generalized to all women. They’ll work perfect on a subset of women who are emotionally unavailable and most likely traumatized for some reason.

My next point is that a guy you think is sub 7 or whatever isn’t a subjective rating. The woman might consider him just her type, a perfect 10. My boyfriend who I’ve been with for over a year as an example. My roomate for some reason told me she couldn’t see how I found him attractive at all, she said “he’s not cute and acts weird as hell.” My other friends have told me he was “classically handsome,” “very good looking,” and super nice. My point is everyone will have differing opinions on how a guy looks or acts.

Physical attraction might appear superficial but types exist, and the dude you think looks busted looks amazing to another woman.

Ok, you make a good point (about how beauty is in the eye of the beholder)

I recall an alternative/punk/emo girl at my high school saying she's repulsed by a tanned/super buff appearance on a guy. In other words, she finds the stereotypical Chad repulsive.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

This study still gets talked about today on the internet.

Eighty percent of the women on OKCupid are below average. And the rest aren't much better.

 

[pipeman84]

Here's what I don't get: If the typical woman rates 80% of men (in other words, any man below an 8 on the looks scale) as below average, how is it that a lot of sub-8 men get wives/long-term girlfriends/steady casual sex/etc?

1. the woman herself is below 8 (either truly so or she sees herself as such)
2. the woman is ran through, over 25 yrs old and just settles. Having to choose between being single, continuing to play the dating game and getting dumped or being in a relationship with a guy who she sees as 'just good enough', she chooses the later. From my observations, that's a terrible place to be for a self respecting guy. Having to deal with a nagging, moody woman who doesn't love, only tolerates you and gives reluctant sex is a net negative to a man's life.

 

[SW15]

2. the woman is ran through, over 25 yrs old and just settles. Having to choose between being single, continuing to play the dating game and getting dumped or being in a relationship with a guy who she sees as 'just good enough', she chooses the later. From my observations, that's a terrible place to be for a self respecting guy. Having to deal with a nagging, moody woman who doesn't love, only tolerates you and gives reluctant sex is a net negative to a man's life.

This is one of the more common scenarios that I observed in the world around me.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Tinder Experiments II: Guys, unless you are really hot you are probably better off not wasting your…

by Worst-Online-Dater

medium.com

This is a good, classic, companion piece.

 

[Solomon]

I came across this thread. Even though the thread is a decade old, it remains a relevant topic (a woman rating 80% of men as below average)

Here's what I don't get: If the typical woman rates 80% of men (in other words, any man below an 8 on the looks scale) as below average, how is it that a lot of sub-8 men get wives/long-term girlfriends/steady casual sex/etc?

You have to remember this based on an online dating website survey which was popular at the time (OKCUPID is not as popular as it was 10 -15 years ago) In real life your personality, smile, vibe, charm, basically various other factors can make a far superior impression than a picture of you holding a dead fish or flexing half naked at the gym.

How many times have we heard the story of a cute/hot chick linking up with an average/nerdy guy in college? proximity, social circle, social proof, etc. All these give you an edge in person. With OLD the only edge you have is your looks and she can't gauge you of anything else, so hence a lot of women are going to judge more harshly online than in person. Most guys statistically are not going to cut it just of looks as most men are average looking.

I dated a former bartender/local model in 2023 for a couple of months whom I met via social circle (dinner with my millionaire buddy) this girl was on Bumble at the time and told me she would have never giving me a chance because she typically doesn't date black men(she was country club type, her parents were millionaires and Daddy bought her a nice 5 bedroom house in the city and a car)

I bring this up because a lot of guys on this site struggle with women cause their only doing OLD, yes in person dating/approaching has got tougher but you have a edge compared to 70%-90% of guys by doing so. Going out every weekend, having a social life, and hobbies improves your options and chances dramatically. The amount of men who don't have any hobbies or social life in 2024 is staggering but not in a good way

 

[Solomon]

Well to be fair I'd rate 90% of POF/OKC women below average. Most of them are overweight single moms, so it's not representative of the population. Also if you think about it, guys on OKCupid are guys who can't get women in real life, so there will be a tilt toward more ugly guys on there.

SgtSplacker is spot on about how confused women are...

This is the part that men seldom never talk about. I would be generous and say 80% of women on dating apps are not attractive at all even if you got drunk. So you have a bunch of men competing for 20% of women they deem attractive but most guys eventually settle for someone they are not attracted to on these apps or give up on the apps entirely(or pump and dump a fattie during a drought lol) While if you're a top tier guy the apps are dating on easy mode

I know this Twitch streamer who had a solid following in 2019. He had 1000 matches on Tinder, in LA. Guy was 6-foot Asian guy with a 6-pack even for LA standards he was considered a unicorn. The guy was 26 at the time worked for Amazon and was broke but he would stream himself on twitch every day going on a different Tinder date. He went viral in 2019 for going on a date with a girl who lost her shyt. Not all the girls were hot though a lot of the women he went on dates with were average-looking, some of the pretty once you could tell where of mentally (maybe it was an LA thing). He would turn the stream of once he started to clap their cheeks lol. He did end up marrying a pretty Japanese girl.

 

[GoodMan32]

You have to remember this based on an online dating website survey which was popular at the time (OKCUPID is not as popular as it was 10 -15 years ago) In real life your personality, smile, vibe, charm, basically various other factors can make a far superior impression than a picture of you holding a dead fish or flexing half naked at the gym.

How many times have we heard the story of a cute/hot chick linking up with an average/nerdy guy in college? proximity, social circle, social proof, etc. All these give you an edge in person. With OLD the only edge you have is your looks and she can't gauge you of anything else, so hence a lot of women are going to judge more harshly online than in person. Most guys statistically are not going to cut it just of looks as most men are average looking.

I dated a former bartender/local model in 2023 for a couple of months whom I met via social circle (dinner with my millionaire buddy) this girl was on Bumble at the time and told me she would have never giving me a chance because she typically doesn't date black men(she was country club type, her parents were millionaires and Daddy bought her a nice 5 bedroom house in the city and a car)

I bring this up because a lot of guys on this site struggle with women cause their only doing OLD, yes in person dating/approaching has got tougher but you have a edge compared to 70%-90% of guys by doing so. Going out every weekend, having a social life online improves your options dramatically

When I was in college, I rarely (if ever) saw a nerdy guy get with a hottie.

As for the local model you dated, you mentioned her dad bought her a 5 bedroom house. I guarantee that factoid will never hold her back (in terms of getting a partner). Yet I'm viewed as a leech/loser because my dad bought me a mere 1 bedroom place. I guarantee many a woman, no matter how attracted the woman is to my looks, would immediately disqualify me upon finding out my dad bought me my place. The double standard is unreal.