Okay, how should I go about approaching this chick.

[MrConfidence]

You know, I've been talking about wanting to get with this girl for a LONG time and I just want to approach her and get it over with. But I'm not sure how exactly to move it on with her. Now, I've talked to this chick before a number of times, there was one time in the hallway when I asked her her name, and this one time in marching band when she actually approached me. Well now that marching band is over I have no way of talking to her except inbetween classes and at lunch. At lunch she sits with a friend, and they're usually always talking. So I guess I'm just asking how I should approach these girls and this situation. And if it fails with her, there are other chicks in school I have my eye on. Tomorrow, instead of just sittin' there after I eat, I'm going to go up to her table, and I'm going to say something. She's a senior this year, and before she leaves, I want to know if I ever had a chance at getting her.

 

[eminence]

your pathetic.

 

[MrConfidence]

your pathetic.

Nice of you to think so. However, that doesn't help me one bit.

 

[MrConfidence]

how can you not know how to go about approaching after having spent years on this site

Did you read the whole thing? I'm looking for advice on this particular situation. It's not like it's common or anything. The thread is not asking how to approach in general, trust me I know how to do that, I'm asking for information on how to approach in this particular situation. Infact, there's really no need to read anything else but this particular line:

At lunch she sits with a friend, and they're usually always talking. So I guess I'm just asking how I should approach these girls and this situation.

That's my situation. You can ignore everything else in that post, it doesn't matter.

 

[NFC]

TBH I don't think this chick is that into you. I say forget about her. And the next girl you meet and decide to have oneitisfor unleash a bunch of kino on her.. when FIRST MEETING HER! She probably lost interest from the lack of communication, and the lack of your manhood. You need to show them you are sexual bro, and don't be afraid..

 

[MrConfidence]

TBH I don't think this chick is that into you. I say forget about her. And the next girl you meet and decide to have oneitisfor unleash a bunch of kino on her.. when FIRST MEETING HER! She probably lost interest from the lack of communication, and the lack of your manhood. You need to show them you are sexual bro, and don't be afraid..

So I should just forget about her... I don't know... isn't that the easy way out? Besides, if I never approach her again I'll never know whether she's interested or not.

 

[MrConfidence]

lol. there's no specific "lunch time girl sitting at table with friends" tactics. just go over to her, say whats up, and just start a conversation about anything that you can think of. whether its something going on around you or something that happened in a class that you have together or anything. there's always something to talk about

Alright I'll try that. Since we're in different grades, the only other thing I could possibly think to talk about is asking her how things have been since marching band. Then again, I don't want to ignore her friend.

 

[Plec07]

I don't want to ignore her friend.

Do the opposite, ignore the target. Open the set and neg the target almost immediately. Don't forget a false time constraint. Use a lock-in prop to stop her wondering off and do some DHV stuff to her friend to get the target attracted to you/jelous of her friend. Once she's given you a couple IOIs then pay more attention to her and do some kino. Make plans or get her number. Fluff for a bit so she doesn't think thats the only reason you came over, then split.

That should work as from what I can tell you two never really became friends, or have pretty much not talked in a while.

 

[MrConfidence]

Man...
I'm a wuss. Couldn't gain the balls to go over to her table and talk to her.

 

[touge]

**** happens dude.. but if you do try, whats the worst that could happen? Its not like you hang out with this chick anyway... this is your only shot to actually getting to know her. Perhaps try and meet her before she sits with her friend. Eg. on the way to where she sits.

 

[BBX]

ive been on this site not even a year and went from being even more pathetic than you to hooking up with girls often and just being more confident in general.

what is it about you that cant develop out of this gay stage? snap out, you can take steps too and no one else can help with that, stop being a fag, allow yourself to make mistakes and learn.

 

[MrConfidence]

ive been on this site not even a year and went from being even more pathetic than you to hooking up with girls often and just being more confident in general.

what is it about you that cant develop out of this gay stage? snap out, you can take steps too and no one else can help with that, stop being a fag, allow yourself to make mistakes and learn.

That's what I tried to do, all day I've been thinking about how I could possibly open up to her, and her friend, then lunch time comes, and I didn't do it. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to do it, but there's this huge fear of something going wrong. The fear of going up there, screwing up, and being laughed at is to great. I think the real problem is that I'm afraid of what other people at nearby tables might think. Why is this uncontrollable fear so great?

I'm just afraid of the following happening:

I go up there.
I sit there.
The girls stare at me strangely.

I go up there.
I sit there.
I can't think of something to say/or I say something, but it becomes small talk.

It'd also be easier if there weren't so many damn people there during lunch, that only helps to make me nervous.

You guys say to talk to them like I would guys, but I have nothing to talk about with these girls. It's not like we're in the same class, let alone the same grade. And yes, to those who say I'm pathetic, you're probably right.

 

[BBX]

u should not be in the learning stage anymore, youve been here way too long. why is everything with u involve "approaching" girls? why dosent it involve meeting a girl through a friend and actually having conversations with her. Approaching girls is something that you do not need to master BUT it is rediciously great in getting confidence around girls, no matter how stupid you may look. I have come to believe with the total lack of success u have your either a troll or completely socially awkward. flame me, tell me im wrong

 

[epitome]

Look, you either do it or you don't.

If you don't, you'll always wish you had.

If you do and fail, you'll at least come away with the satisfaction of knowing that you had the balls to go in for the kill.

You obviously haven't read the Bible, there's a link on the bottom of the page.
This may help you the most at your stage.

 

[MrConfidence]

if you're in the learning stage, that's going to happen to you more than a couple times. it all comes down to what you think is worse:living the rest of your life as a loser who never even gave it a shot, or getting laughed at and rejected a few times, but improving each and every time you try and eventually becoming a social, confident man. if you're not willing to risk embarassment to change your life, then there's nothing anyone on this site can do for you

So you're basically telling me there's no point in approaching her then? I might as well not even waste my time if I'm just going to get shot down. Besides, I'm not in this so called "learning stage" but I have difficulty figuring out a good opener in this situation. Let me tell you, I could just go up there and say "Hey, ladies, how's it going?" but that would be awkward. From there, there would an awkward silence, unless I pull up some completely random topic. Seem familiar? Yes, because that's what's happened with every other damn girl I've ever approached, and I don't want to approach this girl if I'm not going to improve. You see, with friends I got a bunch of things to talk about, wrestling, classes, sports, video games, and the like. I've got nothing to talk about with these chicks.

u should not be in the learning stage anymore, youve been here way too long. why is everything with u involve "approaching" girls? why dosent it involve meeting a girl through a friend and actually having conversations with her. Approaching girls is something that you do not need to master BUT it is rediciously great in getting confidence around girls, no matter how stupid you may look. I have come to believe with the total lack of success u have your either a troll or completely socially awkward. flame me, tell me im wrong

There is no point in flaming you, so I'm just going to tell you straight out, "You're wrong".

 

[undedtom]

Perhaps "What's your name? I just gotta know who me and my friend have been talkin about for 5 minutes." Get her name and walk off.

I've always liked this one.

If it won't work why not just comment on a current event. PErhaps you could riff off the rats in that one KFC. or perhaps, if they seem to have high self esteem you could just walk by and neg them and see if atleast one of them snaps at the bait.

If none of the advice you've gotten so far will work either you are blowing this way out of proportion or you need to explain to us all the restrictions keeping you back from approaching.

undedtom

 

[MrConfidence]

Perhaps "What's your name? I just gotta know who me and my friend have been talkin about for 5 minutes." Get her name and walk off.

I've always liked this one.

If it won't work why not just comment on a current event. PErhaps you could riff off the rats in that one KFC. or perhaps, if they seem to have high self esteem you could just walk by and neg them and see if atleast one of them snaps at the bait.

If none of the advice you've gotten so far will work either you are blowing this way out of proportion or you need to explain to us all the restrictions keeping you back from approaching.

undedtom

Let's put it this way:

Now, I've talked to this chick before a number of times, there was one time in the hallway when I asked her her name, and this one time in marching band when she actually approached me.

We've talked before, I know her name already. We've already talked before. This is not an introduction, I already sort of know the chick, and now I just want to see how I can get her number. Though for some reason I doubt she even remembers me. If that's the case that babes memory has to be pretty short term. You know, screw it dude, I might just say "Hey, aren't you that Marissa girl from marching band? Hey, how you doing?" and ignore her friend who I don't know, dude, I don't want to get with her friend, I want to get with her.

The situation is this girl I've already talked to before briefly(Don't know much about her other than her name, the fact that she was auxiliary during marching band, and she used to play the piano somewhere down the line), and a girl I don't know sit at this table together at lunch, and basically talk. So even before I talk to them, I would probably have to grab a seat, sit down, and interrupt whatever they were talking about.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

(1) btw if u haven't done so yet... you not going to anytime soon... if you've been talking about it for this long... all it is is what it is... *talk*... you wont get around to it.. and then you'll make a thread coming up with a "perfect" situation for the next day to talk to her.

(2) but since you know her already, talk about how you don't talk to her much anymore and you're trying to do something this weekend... then ask for the number. you don't even have to talk to her for a long time... if she's interested she'll go for it.. if not... she wont. you won't make her change her mind. just do it.

//edit//

you're going to brush this reply off because you know i'm right about #2

and if u don't acknowledge it.. tis obvious that you're just looking for a high number of replies or whatever in that sort

 

[BBX]

dude its the same post everytime with you, u just gotta do it, apprroach her, get some practice, just do it, time and time again its the same thing i might as well add u to the ignore list, tell me when u turn it around, ill take u off

 

[MrConfidence]

stop analyzing it so much. look if you are going to approach a group (and you will rarely see HB by themselves) you are ALWAYS going to have to interrupt them. who the fVck cares?? i do it all the time, they don't care. again, stop analyzing it, just go up, greet her, and just start a conversation about ANYTHING going around you or just ANYTHING. it's not that hard man, you said you're a smart guy and i'm sure you can definitely think of something to talk about. as long as it's not something nerdy like video games it doesn't really matter just grab your fVckin nuts and do it already. if you don't do it now what makes you think you ever will? there's no magic advice here that is gonna turn u into a pimp u HAVE TO DO IT URSELF

So my little plan goes like this, get lunch, grab a chair, sit at her table. To all those haters who talk about me negatively -- they can shut up, because I don't see them even attempting to approach two chicks. Few options for openers:

Hey girls it's your lucky day.

Hey, Marissa, how's it going? Who's your friend?

That's all I can think of dude.

There's also this other chick in Chemistry named Beth, who's kind of good looking. Heard she just broke up with her boyfriend, but I don't think she'd be interested in me.