ok i give up. i finally kiss her,she says it was a mistake and stupid.buyers remorse?

[drift king]

ok so this girl i been making multiple threads about i finally kissed her tonight.

the date started ok convo was light hearted and fun. then i made mistake of talking about my ex's and about the arrangements of how we conducted things like it wasn't appropriate for her to see other people and she got annoyed thinking i was making terms of what we can and cannot do and we're not even in a relationship. she then goes on to say 'we're different people' i knew that was the death of me. i shouldn't have said what i said cos she'd be thinking that we're not compatible and it wont happen.

she was really affectionate today, holding my hand kino'ing everything seemed to be going well.

then we moved location and went to the local bar, we had a booth, she started to go on about how going past this border i.e. kissing is important that we either go past it or we do not continue. she denied that what i said at dinner is what caused her to feel this way.

she said 'tomorrow we'll know whether we're going to on or part ways.' i paniced saying 'why do we need to part ways rather than just try and see how it goes?'

was she stringing me along all this time?

we finally kissed, she was controlling the kiss too much, i dont know how much of it was cos of alcohol, we kissed twice, then when i went for a 3rd she goes 'no it was a mistake! it was stupid we wont' be together'

i was like 'huh???' admittedly i let her control the kiss and i didn't put enough feeling into it, i was just so stunned and surprised that it finally came plus i was in a wrong position that i was uncomfortable.

everything was all good up till then, then the next 20mins was me questioning her what was wrong and why she felt we wouldn't be together..

what the hell went wrong?? was it cos the 1st kiss wasn't special enough and she tels everything from that??

 

[slaog]

You've been told that she wasn't that interested in you so it was waiting to happen.


Shes using you as an ego boost or something. She has little interest in you but when shes in the mood (ie when drinking) she likes some male company. When she isn't drinking she doesn't want to know. She has little regard for your feelings and thats why she keeps stringing you along.


Its got nothing to do with the kiss. You're an AFC with bad oneitis for this girl and she sees that.


Move on and learn the lessons and in a short time you'll be grateful for the experiance if you have learned from it.

 

[drift king]

but today prior to the kiss there was no drinking at dinner, i didn't try to kino her like i normally do. she kino'd me. she gave me all the affection i was looking for prior to this date that i was looking for. it seemed as if i'd turned the corner.

was she really not that interested in me, im sure the kiss must have caused that?

it wasn't perfect i didn't put any feeling into the kiss, i was just shocked that it finally happened after so long.

could it be buyers remorse?

she did show me all the affection today on the date i was looking for and i didn't initiate any of it. the mistake was when i started setting out all these rules from previous relationship when we only started going out and it annoyed her you could see in her mind that it wasn't going to work.. and i was backtracking. as soon as she said 'i think we're different people' was the problem.

i told her we couldn't be friends. she kept asking me so if we kiss and it doens't work out we cant be friends? i said 'no, under no circumstances'

she tried to be like 'tomorrow is the day we kiss.' when i pressed further she meant that it was the day we'd either kiss or not and that be the end of it.

is there anyway at this stage after her thinking about it and me giving up not pursuing anymore and being amicable and pleasant to her that she might actually realise she missed out?

i just dont understand why she thought it was a mistake.. was she just toying with me all this time?

 

[Warrior74]

who cares why, if she's not feeling you, she's not feeling you. You'll never really know why, accept that. Drop her cold turkey, go meet someone else, move on.

One of the main problems I see on this site is the constant need to know why a woman acts the way she does. After a while, I quite caring about why, and only about what. If she does what I want then we are good, i could care less why she does it or not. If she's not acting right, she can get the hell on from round here.

 

[drift king]

WTF???? now she texts me asking me if i still wanna meet up tomorrow and that she still wants to kiss me???

is this a test?

i feel like if i respond yes she'll change her mind in the morning after sleeping on it. if i dont reply now she'll change her mind.

how should i respond?

if i say yes she'll probably take it as a sign she can have me any time she wants.

do i have to be strong and not cave in?

 

[Warrior74]

What do you want? How do you feel about the whole situation? Do you feel manipulated? Do you feel she's testing you, playing games?

Throw some ****y and funny at her and see what happens. Stop taking her serious. Consider her already nexted in your mind so just say what ever off the wall sh*t you want to say to her.

Tell her she can come see you, if she buys you something to eat and takes you to the movies.

 

[drift king]

i feel as if like she didnt intend to kiss me and felt bad cos she let herself go too far, but then realised that the kiss was good and still wants to do it.

why would she tell me that we wont be together then tells me this?

is she toying with me? seeing if i'll put up with her BS?

i wouldnt' be surprised if she changes her mind in the morning.

do u think shes manipulating me?

 

[Warrior74]

I think you are overthinking it. I don't think you are having any fun.

 

[drift king]

yeah im not. but is this a test?

or a guilt trip thing?

i still really like her. buti cant overlook the fact she said 'we wont be together' it was a mistake etc.. could it just be an instantaneous response?

its like as if she wants closure she can have me anytime she can. i shouldnt be surprised at her

 

[dj_china]

respond to her with a specific date suggestion, thats it

"2012 at 9pm see you there"

 

[drift king]

too late. i agreed. she's really got me. tho i used warriors thing about her buying me food and taking me to the movies.

then i told her to meet me outside class tomorrow and we'll talk then. is the likeliness she'll change her mind in the morning?

 

[rocksoff]

just laugh at her whenever she opens her mouth and tell her she needs to work on her kissing technique before even thinking she could be with you

 

[YogurtSlinger]

Maybe you had bad breath. Did you have any onions in your dinner?

 

[Joe Stud]

let her chase you... be aloof, confident, ****y & funny. look good, smell great

 

[drift_king]

i think all of this behaviour is spurned out of me from day 1 telling her we could not be friends, her constantly trying to maybe keep me around as a friend and me telling her i'll walk away and not talk to her again. she cant bare to not have me in her life so this whole kissing thing is something she feels she can compromise on to keep me in her life while she strings me along till shes bored of me.

im gona just try to bang her now, im gona go pick up other girls. my social proofs have fallen through. when i go see her in break later today should i mention about the disrespect she's shown me?

what major points should i note to her?

 

[Warrior74]

Dude. You been on here all day obsessing over this chic? Seriously? GTFO!

 

[jophil28]

im gona just try to bang her now, im gona go pick up other girls. my social proofs have fallen through. when i go see her in break later today should i mention about the disrespect she's shown me?

what major points should i note to her?

Dude, you just do not get it. You post like a whiny woman who is infatuated with some badazz .
For the last time- she is TOYING with you.. read the following and believe.

Young women, who behave like her, divide men up into two groups. The first is the fawning Beta group. That would be guys who act like you who endlessly try to "understand" woman and their ambiguous behavior. Your willingness to question her and and almost beg and plead for explanations gives her the frame and so she continues to be mysterious and unavailable because it works for her as attention seeking behavior.
However guys like you are also being used for target practise. She is honing her skills at attracting males so that when "the one " comes along she has a good shot.

The second group is a tiny collection of Alpha badazzes. A guy from this group is who she really wants. And that is not you.

You have been given good advice here and you have ignored it. You continue to want to 'understand' nonsensical behavior instead of just walking away from it.
The guy she really wants to fukk is the guy who will make her chase him because of his indifference to her games and his unwillinness to be dangled by her juvenile tactics.
IF you want to increase you chances with her ( you have only a slim chance left) stop talking and start walking - AWAY.

 

[drift_king]

all the advice im getting is too late by the time i get the reply it's already moved on..

the situation is now that she offered to take me for dinner and movies on sunday i said i was joking about that and that the answer was yes to see her tonight. she tells me 'hmmm.. i'll give u a rest from me tonight plus i have a lot of studying i need to do that i cant put off any longer. wanna meet on sunday?'

i called her after this telling her i wanted to see her today but can only give her 1/2 an hour of my time and that its really important.

is it not important i confront her on why she suddenly changed her mind from being 'we wont be together..' and 'its a stupid mistake' to 'i still wanna kiss u'

am i really f-ing it up by tryna see her today?

i feel i need to capitalize on this moment while everything is fresh, by the time sunday comes she could have changed her mind given how quick she changed it last night.

on the flipside i could f it up tonight if i make the wrong move. do i need to confront her on why shes suddenly changed her mind and wants me now?

i think shes just afraid of losing me completely that the kiss forced her into action which was what i was told to do to see if she puts up or shuts up.

this action has forced her to decide if she wants to be with me or not. but i cant let slide how she literally ditched me and suddenly decides to have me back. should i not say something about this??

im gona restrict it to 1/2 hour cos i need to help my buddy wing tonight cos he had a 1itis prob too and needs to go sarging. she knows i pick up girls with this buddy, is it unwise to let her know thats what im doing tonight aftetr seeing her?

 

[Warrior74]

all the advice im getting is too late by the time i get the reply it's already moved on..

the situation is now that she offered to take me for dinner and movies on sunday i said i was joking about that and that the answer was yes to see her tonight. she tells me 'hmmm.. i'll give u a rest from me tonight plus i have a lot of studying i need to do that i cant put off any longer. wanna meet on sunday?'

i called her after this telling her i wanted to see her today but can only give her 1/2 an hour of my time and that its really important.

is it not important i confront her on why she suddenly changed her mind from being 'we wont be together..' and 'its a stupid mistake' to 'i still wanna kiss u'

am i really f-ing it up by tryna see her today?

i feel i need to capitalize on this moment while everything is fresh, by the time sunday comes she could have changed her mind given how quick she changed it last night.

on the flipside i could f it up tonight if i make the wrong move. do i need to confront her on why shes suddenly changed her mind and wants me now?

i think shes just afraid of losing me completely that the kiss forced her into action which was what i was told to do to see if she puts up or shuts up.

this action has forced her to decide if she wants to be with me or not. but i cant let slide how she literally ditched me and suddenly decides to have me back. should i not say something about this??

im gona restrict it to 1/2 hour cos i need to help my buddy wing tonight cos he had a 1itis prob too and needs to go sarging. she knows i pick up girls with this buddy, is it unwise to let her know thats what im doing tonight aftetr seeing her?

dood. She's telling you to slow down. Slow down. You don't need to be in such a big hurry. You were good with what I gave you, but you got all eager. I don't think you ****ed it up, but you need to slow it down man. It's seduction, not speed dating. Now stop obsessing over this girl, go do your homework, or what ever it is you have to do, or like to do, and give her a PHONE CALL (not a text) on Sunday. Crawl out of her ass and let her miss you and worry about you. Easy bro. Good luck.

 

[Blank]

You really need to stop following her bee line of emotions so closely and stick to your own path.

The difference that makes the difference is indifference.

Stop being so damn reactive to everything she says and does. Why are you refusing to be friends with her anyway? That makes you seem needy. Girls never respond well to the "its all or nothing" speech.

You've received a lot of good advice from some of the most highly rep'd guys on this site. Start using it to your advantage.