drift_king
Don Juan
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Should I cancel tonights meet up then?
Warrior74 said:
ok i give up. i finally kiss her,she says it was a mistake and stupid.buyers remorse?
- Thread starter drift king
- Start date
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
Blank you are a true example of a keyboard jockey. Great advice you give about putting yourself in the friend zone lol moron!Blank said:
Jayer, I know your still bitter about me making you look like a jackass on pugs thread, but get off my d*ck.Jayer said:
To the OP, when you use the "let's just be friends" line on a girl, you're taking it out of her arsenal. It drives them bonkers and it's f*cking hilarious.
She's just one girl, it's no big deal really. But by playing the "No! we CAN'T be friends because I have feelings for you! I couldn't handle that!" card you're basically telling her that you don't have an abundance of women in your life and that letting her go is more than you could bare. Bad news.
If you we're out approaching, pulling numbers and seeing multiple girls than this one just wouldn't matter and you'd stop coming off needy. You should start approaching and seeing other girls. This problem will solve itself.
drift_king
Don Juan
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well i didnt cancel, i knew she had something to do in the afternoon and she texts me to tell me 'hey i dont think i'll be back by 8, do u have time later? or tomorrow?'
see i was going to cancel on her but wasn't sure so i sent 'im busy tomorrow, and between 8.30 to 10.30pm but i could see u after that for a bit.. otherwise lets meet on sunday at 6', i realise now i shouldn't have caved in so easy wanting to meet up with her after she 1st texted me. i see it makes me look weak that she can pull me one way then another and i'll come running. i think the reason i accepted was cos she responded so quickly after our date however if she left it a couple dates or the next day i'd be less willing (hopefully) to meet up. i obviously faux pas'd when she responded with that she'd take me for dinner and movies on sunday (i cant be bought..) plus this gives her what she wants, my attention for 4 hours talking and plus also if i have to restrict my kissing cos she doesn't deserve it, this gives her what she wants cos she may just want the good feeling and ego boost of having me around hence why she asked me if i still wanted to meet up?
she knows that once we aren't seeing each other i wont speak to her anymore, i'll say hi but i wont give her my attention. she knows this cos i did this before during the 4 weeks we didn't talk and i think cos shes more emotionally invested now she couldn't bear the thought of me not giving her attention anymore.
my dilemma? whether she wants to be with me or just is keeping me around for an ego boost and good feeling.
however if she isn't, when i see her sunday i need to withdraw myself a bit, but she also needs to make it up to me. what sort of things does she need to do to make it up to me? buying me gifts taking me to dinner, monetary stuff doesn't mean sh1t.. dont i need some sort of emotional response or gesture to show shes geuniely interested in me?
would sleeping with me be valid? although i think her sleeping with me for the 1st time would make her resent herself and me that it was used as a bargaining tool to keep me around.. i know girls use sex as a weapon and bargaining tool however in this case i think it may backfire.
see i was going to cancel on her but wasn't sure so i sent 'im busy tomorrow, and between 8.30 to 10.30pm but i could see u after that for a bit.. otherwise lets meet on sunday at 6', i realise now i shouldn't have caved in so easy wanting to meet up with her after she 1st texted me. i see it makes me look weak that she can pull me one way then another and i'll come running. i think the reason i accepted was cos she responded so quickly after our date however if she left it a couple dates or the next day i'd be less willing (hopefully) to meet up. i obviously faux pas'd when she responded with that she'd take me for dinner and movies on sunday (i cant be bought..) plus this gives her what she wants, my attention for 4 hours talking and plus also if i have to restrict my kissing cos she doesn't deserve it, this gives her what she wants cos she may just want the good feeling and ego boost of having me around hence why she asked me if i still wanted to meet up?
she knows that once we aren't seeing each other i wont speak to her anymore, i'll say hi but i wont give her my attention. she knows this cos i did this before during the 4 weeks we didn't talk and i think cos shes more emotionally invested now she couldn't bear the thought of me not giving her attention anymore.
my dilemma? whether she wants to be with me or just is keeping me around for an ego boost and good feeling.
however if she isn't, when i see her sunday i need to withdraw myself a bit, but she also needs to make it up to me. what sort of things does she need to do to make it up to me? buying me gifts taking me to dinner, monetary stuff doesn't mean sh1t.. dont i need some sort of emotional response or gesture to show shes geuniely interested in me?
would sleeping with me be valid? although i think her sleeping with me for the 1st time would make her resent herself and me that it was used as a bargaining tool to keep me around.. i know girls use sex as a weapon and bargaining tool however in this case i think it may backfire.
Prodigy746
Master Don Juan
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you are an idiot
SchoolBoy
Don Juan
Alright I'll tell it to you like it is, and it ain't gonna sound pretty. but you're obsessing waaaay too much over this! Your "inner game" isn't there at all. You're obsessing over every little detail of what you should or should not do. You're letting her actions dictate your emotions and on top of that you're asking for advice on how to deal with EVERY LITTLE THING. Let me tell you something, if you're afraid to lose her then you've already lost her. It seems that you are not enjoying this at all. And isn't the whole point of getting women is enjoyment?? If you're not happy doing this then STOP!!!! Acting like a total AFC on this board posting about every little detail, and acting like a PAU to her (when you're actually not doing that anyways) won't make it anything better even if you do attempt to get with her. You're being played.. Now next her and move on! Take this nexting and moving on as a sign of your first step in becoming a real PAU.drift_king said:
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
Lol you have got to be the biggest dillusional clown on this board. You clearly have no real experience with women what so ever. Again you are making up your verbiage that wasn't even stated in this thread. Just thank God you aren't a lawyer man lol I guess trying to pretend you actually have some kind of DJ Guru value gets you through your days. Fortunately for me I have a life outside of this forumBlank said:
So where the hell does it say "No! We can't be friends because I have feelings for you! I couldn't handle that!"??? Of course that's terrible advice but the OP isn't stupid enough to phrase it like that.
Voluntarily putting yourself in the friend zone is absolutely AFC advice that comes from people with no experience. Try reading Rollo Tomassi's thread on the Friend Zone. Your dumb bvitch ass could possibly learn something.
Jayer, I let out a huge sigh after reading this post. You sir, are sad.Jayer said:
I probably will check out that thread though, it might have something of value in it.
To the OP the"No! We can't be friends because I have feelings for you! I couldn't handle that!" line came from what you were subcommunicating when you said you couldn't be friends with her. That's the message she got, that's the message women get. I know this because a few of my female friends have told me this.
Anyways, suggesting to just be friends to a girl will confuse the hell out of her and make her chase you. They are losing their source of ego boosting, they'll try to show you that they're good enough to be your girl and start qualifying themselves like crazy. It just says all the right things about you. David D featured this technique in one of his programs, he's big on the "critical counter-intuitive".
I did this to one of the girls I'm seeing in the very beginning when we first started seeing each other. I introduced her as "just a friend" to another friend of mine while we were at a party. We ended up making out that night and let me tell you, it was damn funny hearing her qualify herself like crazy as girlfriend material over the next week or so.
In conversations we were having she would drop stories that included how she was good at controlling herself with guys when she's drunk at a party and she as a bf, how she is NOT a slut and doesn't just hook up with guys (we were talking about dorm life and what happens when your roomate is with someone), etc. Without knowing pua material, I wouldn't of known what this was but it's her attempts at qualifying herself and it's ALWAYS good when a girl is qualifying herself to you.
drift_king
Don Juan
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well i think u guys are all right about her.
it's so f'd up. she's sucha flakey scatter brain.
i was suppose to see her today at 9pm and i confirmed this on friday even tho i offered a friday night time too, yet she chose sunday.
i even text her last night after she text me that i'd see her tomorrow. she's on her period and had so much on today i can't believe she forgot to see me!!
people stop talking to her cos she cancels all the time and forgets plans etc..
i was so angry with her when i finally got hold of her cos when i called at 9pm i couldnt get through.. stupidly i even went down to the cafe where she was studying next to her dorms but i didnt see her but she was there. if i had looked properly i would have noticed her studying.
i can't believe she forgot, after everything that happened on thursday you would think she'd make it up to me, she has me by the balls.
do u think me walking away is really going to make a difference?
if i had only seen her on friday in the aftermath of the incident than everything would be good, i wouldn't be disrespected or anything.
the meeting after i made her come out was so bad, i was so p1ssed with her i kept saying to her how could u forget? i text u last night that i'll see u tomorrow.
she had no answer and was pulling the 'i dont think i want to be with him anymore cos i get angry and it could happen again'
i cant walk away, she knows this, and im getting f'd about.
can i demand that she kisses me or i expect her to kiss me if we're seeing each other or will just be pushy as well?
she wants me around, my attention etc but i cant force her to kiss me if she doesn't feel it. my angry reaction today turned her off. we're suppose to see each other for a movie tomorrow night at 7pm.
im such an idiot.
it's so f'd up. she's sucha flakey scatter brain.
i was suppose to see her today at 9pm and i confirmed this on friday even tho i offered a friday night time too, yet she chose sunday.
i even text her last night after she text me that i'd see her tomorrow. she's on her period and had so much on today i can't believe she forgot to see me!!
people stop talking to her cos she cancels all the time and forgets plans etc..
i was so angry with her when i finally got hold of her cos when i called at 9pm i couldnt get through.. stupidly i even went down to the cafe where she was studying next to her dorms but i didnt see her but she was there. if i had looked properly i would have noticed her studying.
i can't believe she forgot, after everything that happened on thursday you would think she'd make it up to me, she has me by the balls.
do u think me walking away is really going to make a difference?
if i had only seen her on friday in the aftermath of the incident than everything would be good, i wouldn't be disrespected or anything.
the meeting after i made her come out was so bad, i was so p1ssed with her i kept saying to her how could u forget? i text u last night that i'll see u tomorrow.
she had no answer and was pulling the 'i dont think i want to be with him anymore cos i get angry and it could happen again'
i cant walk away, she knows this, and im getting f'd about.
can i demand that she kisses me or i expect her to kiss me if we're seeing each other or will just be pushy as well?
she wants me around, my attention etc but i cant force her to kiss me if she doesn't feel it. my angry reaction today turned her off. we're suppose to see each other for a movie tomorrow night at 7pm.
im such an idiot.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
drift_king said:
Drift King: When your confused about a girl your dealing with, only judge her ACTIONS!! No matter how sweet, how cool, how sexy her words are..... they don't mean $hit, unless she validates them with actions.
You keep analyzing specific moments (ohh should've agreed to Friday instead of Sunday...oh shouldn't have got upset with her....etc etc), thinking those moments made a difference in the dynamic of your relationship with this girl. That's your first error....The reality is, this girl NEVER had romantic interest in you, like you did/do for her. Your a side thought at best in her day to day activities, while she is the center of your universe.
She now see's you in your fully blown desperation and how badly your freakin' out over little insignifcant matters and its completely turned her off. However like most girls, they'll keep the source (you) of attention going, and as long as you are foolish enough to keep playing her game, you'll continue to be frustrated....
Think of "the regular" at the strip-club who goes and pays the stripper he's gotten close to ridiculous sums of money each week. He then gets infatuated with her, thinking he has a chance with her. She calls him "sweetie" or "sugar" etc (notice again those are words) to get his hopes up that he might be able to bang her or date her eventually. But when the time comes she's no where to be found, or busy or sick etc. You get the idea.
If you want to get better with women, use this situation as a learning experience and break away from this mess.
1) Cancel your plans with her for Monday, tell her you'll call her later
2) Don't call her for a while and start focusing your YOU
3) Go meet new girls and go out with your boys
PIMP
drift_king
Don Juan
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i didn't set up the date with her for monday, she set it up. does that make a difference?Pimp-sicle said:
she feels bad for forgetting today HOWEVER is she just using me for attention again?
she's coming to my room to watch a movie. if there's any sexual connotation that should happen it will be then however the fact we kissed once and she freaked out, then texts me an hour later saying she still wants to kiss me.
she texts me the day after cos i would have thought she changed her mind after sleeping on it and she hadn't she still seemed interested. however she may just wanted my validation and attention by responding to her text.
i told her to buy me dinner and take me to the movies, she agreed, but that doesnt mean sh1t cos she offers to pay when we go on dates sometimes.
then on sat night she texts me asking me what im doing, a test again to check up on me, i made the mistake of responding within an hour rather than waiting till the next day (i.e. sunday where i could have sent the confirmation time for today) its like the fact i succumbed to her so easily just cos she said she still wanted to kiss me has sealed my fate.
is the fact shes coming to MY room to watch a 'movie' mean absolutely jack sh1t?
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
as many people know here, I am a recovered drug addict. I say that to say that, drug addiction has alot to do with AFCism.. actually it's the same thing.. AFCism is nothing more than an addiciton of reaffirmation from women.
There is this.... gray period when you are ****ing up, and you know you are ****ing up, but you still somehow think this drug thing can work out... I can atually not empty my bank account and use and have fun and not get in trouble, and say the hell with life... but at the same time, you know you are ****ing up and are smart enough to try to do something about it, but not yet whipped enough to where you are willing to COMMIT to do something about it.
An addict, usually hits a point, like i did.. where you get what i call that just right ass whipping.... the one good enough to where it is clear in your head to whenever someone gives you some advice on what you need to do next, you hestiate before saying I don't want to do it, and take the advice, beucase you don't want to feel waht you have felt.
That's exactly what that OP is going though. he knows he is clueless. But he hasn't had enough pain yet to do anything different. he still thinks he can get the result (the girl) without putting in the hard work that we demand of him to get there, so he looks for an easier way.
Until you hit that just right ass whipping from a girl, you will continue to crash and burn. And when you hit that point, we will be right here with open arms, ready to help you become a better man with the laides. But right now you aren't open to anything resembling Djish informaiton. the only thing you want to know is a quick fit how to **** this girl, like a recovering addict wants to know how do I get out of THIS PARTICUALR drug charge. But you don't want to make a complete change in the way of your thinking
There is this.... gray period when you are ****ing up, and you know you are ****ing up, but you still somehow think this drug thing can work out... I can atually not empty my bank account and use and have fun and not get in trouble, and say the hell with life... but at the same time, you know you are ****ing up and are smart enough to try to do something about it, but not yet whipped enough to where you are willing to COMMIT to do something about it.
An addict, usually hits a point, like i did.. where you get what i call that just right ass whipping.... the one good enough to where it is clear in your head to whenever someone gives you some advice on what you need to do next, you hestiate before saying I don't want to do it, and take the advice, beucase you don't want to feel waht you have felt.
That's exactly what that OP is going though. he knows he is clueless. But he hasn't had enough pain yet to do anything different. he still thinks he can get the result (the girl) without putting in the hard work that we demand of him to get there, so he looks for an easier way.
Until you hit that just right ass whipping from a girl, you will continue to crash and burn. And when you hit that point, we will be right here with open arms, ready to help you become a better man with the laides. But right now you aren't open to anything resembling Djish informaiton. the only thing you want to know is a quick fit how to **** this girl, like a recovering addict wants to know how do I get out of THIS PARTICUALR drug charge. But you don't want to make a complete change in the way of your thinking
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
You've committed so many cardinal AFC sins in this thread I hardly know where to begin, but,..
I sincerely doubt you'll take any of what I'm about to explain to you and put it into action, but just for the benefit of others who might read this too, NEXT! Stop for half a second and ask yourself this; what would be the best situation I could think of that I'd want to have with this girl (not a woman, she's a little girl)? Is this even possible now? Does she even have the capacity for it? Am I even capable of it? If you honestly think about that, you'll see what I'm on about here. Any relationship you could possibly have with your "peck on the cheek" girl is ALREADY compromised. You're already familiar and comfortable to her - anti-seductive. You overtly negotiated terms and conditions for intimacy - anti-seductive.
Yes. This girl firmly owns the frame now. You haven't been decisive, confident and with every progressive sh!t test you fail she owns you that much more. You are the feminine submissive and she's in the dominant masculine role. How did this come to be? You've based your entire interaction with this girl by negotiating her desire. You are done. Eject now and start over. If you don't you will only get worse.drift_king said:
Seriously, all of this crap is about a kiss? What is this, an episode of Hannah Montana? You and she are socially retarded, and I mean that in the clinical sense, not as an insult. Both of you are relying upon adolescent social skill because each of you have yet to mature into social adults. Your ONEitis is a prime indicator, your first option of negotiating her intimacy is another, and your applying some cosmic significance to a kiss is one as well.drift_king said:
I sincerely doubt you'll take any of what I'm about to explain to you and put it into action, but just for the benefit of others who might read this too, NEXT! Stop for half a second and ask yourself this; what would be the best situation I could think of that I'd want to have with this girl (not a woman, she's a little girl)? Is this even possible now? Does she even have the capacity for it? Am I even capable of it? If you honestly think about that, you'll see what I'm on about here. Any relationship you could possibly have with your "peck on the cheek" girl is ALREADY compromised. You're already familiar and comfortable to her - anti-seductive. You overtly negotiated terms and conditions for intimacy - anti-seductive.
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
Absolutely correct advice Rollo. I hope the OP adheres to this and doesn't follow the other LJBF crap BLANK suggested...Rollo Tomassi said:
testsinner
Don Juan
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u should have kissed her when u guys 1st met up and than took her somewhere private your home/ her home to bang her
ur mistake was u brought up about ur past girls 1st
ur insecurities she sees it
u should have asked her about her past love and than tell u about urs but keep it short like u dont give a rats a$$
ur mistake was u brought up about ur past girls 1st
ur insecurities she sees it
u should have asked her about her past love and than tell u about urs but keep it short like u dont give a rats a$$
Blue Phoenix
Master Don Juan
Holy mackerel! Is this Drift King a troll or what??? This guy is being drowned by the call of the siren. Actually this girl is probably not even a Siren. He´s being played by himself.
If you can´t control your feelings or feel "clouded" simply PULL BACK. If you´re under attack and don´t know what to do do not shoot back, hide until the dust settles down, then you get out.
If you can´t control your feelings or feel "clouded" simply PULL BACK. If you´re under attack and don´t know what to do do not shoot back, hide until the dust settles down, then you get out.
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
lol your dillusional responses still make me laugh congrats! Yeah it isn't very far from yours.... you advocate being friends and he actually has a clue about what LJBF means in terms of the opposite sex. You are a complete tool and a moron :moon:Blank said:
CarlitosWay
Master Don Juan
I'm just getting over a chic I really like, that I messed up on (thought to much with my heart and not my head )...drift king just move on....I'm sure she has cute friends or very easy to meet up other girls at school. FFS you sound young as hell. MOVE ON!!!
I'm staying good friends with this chic though just for social values only. I pretty much had to pound out the feelings I have now and just not give a ****. Difference between guys like you and some of us driftking is the ones moving forward are realists.
I'm staying good friends with this chic though just for social values only. I pretty much had to pound out the feelings I have now and just not give a ****. Difference between guys like you and some of us driftking is the ones moving forward are realists.