Off My Chest: Old One-Itis Returned To Life, Third Wheeling? Now What?

[tksniper]

An Update From The Homie

Okay, let’s make this story extra spicy and pour some more tea before I end all of the updates in this thread.

So I kicked it again with my homie the other day. He invited me for some drinks after I was done with work.

He’s actually the homie. He texted me the very next morning saying how he was hoping he didn’t offend me(although he said he really wanted the pvssy, apparently ) I told him a *little* bit of this story, not as much detail as I told you guys, and he was like “Oh wow. I had no idea you felt that way.”

I got a bit more of the story. So the morning after with the girl, he woke up to her being hit with 6 phone calls in a row from some guy. He was like, “who is that?” She was like “my boyfriend.”

My homie was shocked because he was under the impression that she had broke up with that dude. But no, she was cheating on her new BF of 1-2 months with my homie.

My homie was shocked because that was exactly what happened with his last GF: she was cheating on him with some other guy.

My homie was like: “I really feel for dude. He’s done nothing but treat her well, and she’s already cheating on him. And they’re back together.”

She then said, “It’s fine. Tbh, no matter what I do, I know he’ll try to make it work.” She also was mentioning how she needed a free place to stay so that she didn’t have to live with her parents.

Yikes.

Consensus

So at this point the answer is obvious… break it off no matter how much it hurts, and go all in, 100% on my game efforts to find women who truly want to be with me. And never get friendzoned again. Sound advice from the guys on the board.

No, 100% of your efforts should be to make yourself into someone women want to be with. At your current condition, what kind of women do you think want to be with you? Are you at your best self?

 

[tksniper]

It doesn’t matter how man women you approach or “find”, you will never be able to attract women above your current value. The solution is always to add more value to yourself. If you are extremely high value, you’d end up doing very little “finding”. Women would find you.

 

[Gamisch]

No, 100% of your efforts should be to make yourself into someone women want to be with. At your current condition, what kind of women do you think want to be with you? Are you at your best self?

YES.

100 % true. Your fat? Lose weight.
Your teeeth is messed up. Save money for a dental hygienist.
Your broke? Get 3 jobs.
You smell? Get a better hygienic routine
Your house shytty? Get new furniture
You look like a time traveler trom the 90's? Get new clothes
You ARE AFRAID TO TALK TO WOMEN? Talk to everyone!!!!

Kinda off topic

 

[Millard Fillmore]

An Update From The Homie

Okay, let’s make this story extra spicy and pour some more tea before I end all of the updates in this thread.

So I kicked it again with my homie the other day. He invited me for some drinks after I was done with work.

He’s actually the homie. He texted me the very next morning saying how he was hoping he didn’t offend me(although he said he really wanted the pvssy, apparently ) I told him a *little* bit of this story, not as much detail as I told you guys, and he was like “Oh wow. I had no idea you felt that way.”

I got a bit more of the story. So the morning after with the girl, he woke up to her being hit with 6 phone calls in a row from some guy. He was like, “who is that?” She was like “my boyfriend.”

My homie was shocked because he was under the impression that she had broke up with that dude. But no, she was cheating on her new BF of 1-2 months with my homie.

My homie was shocked because that was exactly what happened with his last GF: she was cheating on him with some other guy.

My homie was like: “I really feel for dude. He’s done nothing but treat her well, and she’s already cheating on him. And they’re back together.”

She then said, “It’s fine. Tbh, no matter what I do, I know he’ll try to make it work.” She also was mentioning how she needed a free place to stay so that she didn’t have to live with her parents.

Yikes.

Consensus

So at this point the answer is obvious… break it off no matter how much it hurts, and go all in, 100% on my game efforts to find women who truly want to be with me. And never get friendzoned again. Sound advice from the guys on the board.

Your attitude is on point and you have the right idea. I would just not mentally put the onus on women and what they think of you. Not saying don't work every day to improve yourself. But you know, build it and they will come. (Ha.) If some friendzone you, so what. Lots of ways to react to that depending on what's best for you.

Not sure if I'm making sense but we put way too much emphasis on their reactions which is bad frame. I try as much as possible to fly merrily along on my timeline and the chicks I encounter come and go. I'm easy like Sunday morning. Get in where you fit in ladies but it's my life.

As for this chick in particular, IME there can be a visceral feeling of tribal rejection when the neighborhood bike won't give you a spin. This again is simply a survival mechanism - your ego feels "exclusion" and is alerting your organism to this. Logically you know that you can get laid six ways from Sunday with other girls and it's no big deal. What I do is recognize it for what it is, thank my hindbrain for the alert and dismiss it. She sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, anyway.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I i can tell you're a real man. Being a real man isn't about your results and destination, but about your journey to get there. And that is always with ups and downs.

Something tells me you should / could do the following; I'd "little sister " her azz. Or feck that, straight up put her in the platonic fiendzone.

This woman doesn't do anything wrong. She's just not to be taken serious as wifey material ANYMORE by YOU.

I'd laugh it off at some point. I'd become bold and unapologetic at this point. Play the " i was drunk " card. The " just give me a handjob " card . Thats IF she insists to stay in my life.

Otherwise you gotta take this L like a man, turn around and walk away. There are SO MANY fascinating women out there...once you rediscover 1. The game 2. Yourself ,you'll be happy that you didn't make any crazy sacrifices for her.

You got this man. Introspection is key, and everything will get better from there.

Thank you man. This site and the community have been so crucial in the journey. Much more to come.

I was wondering though, which part of my post made you change your argument?

 

[nicksaiz65]

YES.

100 % true. Your fat? Lose weight.
Your teeeth is messed up. Save money for a dental hygienist.
Your broke? Get 3 jobs.
You smell? Get a better hygienic routine
Your house shytty? Get new furniture
You look like a time traveler trom the 90's? Get new clothes
You ARE AFRAID TO TALK TO WOMEN? Talk to everyone!!!!

Kinda off topic

This!!!!

 

[Gamisch]

Thank you man. This site and the community have been so crucial in the journey. Much more to come.

I was wondering though, which part of my post made you change your argument?

The fact you are humble and grateful throughout the thread. Makin a thread always feels vulnerable.

Ofcourse I've been in your position. People dont always understand thats when I sound "angry ", I do this to be a voice of reasoning who wishes that he would have someone tell it to him like that (or even more blunt). And it's sincerely angers me on top of that.

No man (here) should be in any position of weakness when dealing with women. It should always be strenght and abundance.

You are in the middle of the situation. Soon as you manage to take a step back and see her for what and who she really is you'll wanna slap yourself for even ...trying to get with and worshipping a really, really basic bytch.

You dont wanna know the convos I have with myself when it comes to being weak for women. Its as tough and insulting as it gets. @soulforge @Dr.Suave and many more rightfully criticized me for letting an ex of mine stay around. I needed their criticism as well to put on different glasses and see it as a bystander rather than a protagonist.

You showed great resilience and character. I love that.

 

[nicksaiz65]

An Update From The Homie

Okay, let’s make this story extra spicy and pour some more tea before I end all of the updates in this thread.

So I kicked it again with my homie the other day. He invited me for some drinks after I was done with work.

He’s actually the homie. He texted me the very next morning saying how he was hoping he didn’t offend me(although he said he really wanted the pvssy, apparently ) I told him a *little* bit of this story, not as much detail as I told you guys, and he was like “Oh wow. I had no idea you felt that way.”

I got a bit more of the story. So the morning after with the girl, he woke up to her being hit with 6 phone calls in a row from some guy. He was like, “who is that?” She was like “my boyfriend.”

My homie was shocked because he was under the impression that she had broke up with that dude. But no, she was cheating on her new BF of 1-2 months with my homie.

My homie was shocked because that was exactly what happened with his last GF: she was cheating on him with some other guy.

My homie was like: “I really feel for dude. He’s done nothing but treat her well, and she’s already cheating on him. And they’re back together.”

She then said, “It’s fine. Tbh, no matter what I do, I know he’ll try to make it work.” She also was mentioning how she needed a free place to stay so that she didn’t have to live with her parents.

Yikes.

Consensus

So at this point the answer is obvious… break it off no matter how much it hurts, and go all in, 100% on my game efforts to find women who truly want to be with me. And never get friendzoned again. Sound advice from the guys on the board.

I do have an update to the drama, apparently lol.

So her boyfriend is fully aware that she cheated on him with my homie, but he still pushed to are-instantiate the relationship, which she agreed to. She even brought him to a party where the guy who she cheated on her with was there.

I’m friends with the homie, so I ended up seeing him send my homie a bunch of angry texts. He was basically like, “keep your hands off my girlfriend.” When asked about it, the girl was like “I don’t care!”

Not to pour too much tea, but like, damn. I just wanted to share that story cause damn.

 

[rench]

This "friend" may be lying to you
Edit: didn't read thread
Op, this chick wants to ride the **** carousel and end up with u.
Ball's in ur court

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I do have an update to the drama, apparently lol.

So her boyfriend is fully aware that she cheated on him with my homie, but he still pushed to are-instantiate the relationship, which she agreed to. She even brought him to a party where the guy who she cheated on her with was there.

I’m friends with the homie, so I ended up seeing him send my homie a bunch of angry texts. He was basically like, “keep your hands off my girlfriend.” When asked about it, the girl was like “I don’t care!”

Not to pour too much tea, but like, damn. I just wanted to share that story cause damn.

This dude is a simp. What guy dates a woman who cheats on him then begs her for a relationship and gets mad at the guy who had no clue she was even dating anyone?

Why be mad at the dude? Be mad at your girl who obviously has no issue with cheating on your ass.

 

[nicksaiz65]

This dude is a simp. What guy dates a woman who cheats on him then begs her for a relationship and gets mad at the guy who had no clue she was even dating anyone?

Why be mad at the dude? Be mad at your girl who obviously has no issue with cheating on your ass.

Yeah, I had checked out of this situation, but even so, this shocked me lol