Now she is pregnant

[giovannikast]

Hi
I have been dating with a girl for almost a year. she was my girlfriend for about ten months although the last three months I wanted to cut this relationship, but I didnt because the sex was great.
I wanted to end it yet I had stopped seeing her for about two weeks when she called me and told she was pregnant. It was the worst news I could have ever heared.
She has now two months I told her to abort twice in different weeks, and she doesnt want this, and told me to forget about her and the baby.
Well, I know that I dont care about her, and I dont want a baby now.What I dont like is having a link with her in the future. You guys, any advice?
Giovanni

 

[belividere]

the only advice i could possibly think of is for this to be a lesson to you in responsibility. I mean seriously what do you expect to hear? This is your own fault. Deal with it.

 

[racerX]

You cant just forget about the baby. The child will always be part of your life & you be be financially responsible for child support for the kids first 18 years of life. Talk to her & let her know that right now is not the time for you guys to have a child. I dont know how old you are, but if you want to travel, attend college, start a business in the future, it will be difficult to do if you are paying child support. And what is really annoying about child support is that the girl might spend that $$$ on herself or her new guy & not the baby. Dont let it happen to you.

 

[HHloser2]

Well you liked to bang that ***** now deal with it. Dont abandon the child.

 

[Kaine]

Don't expect any sympathy here

However I think it's selfish for any one individual to want to keep a child when the other party does not.

The child needs a stable environment where both parties are ready to give it the care and love to bring up a mentally healthy adult, as well as provide for it's physical needs.

I would do my best to reason with her, for the kids sake


Kaine.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Kaine
Don't expect any sympathy here

However I think it's selfish for any one individual to want to keep a child when the other party does not.

The child needs a stable environment where both parties are ready to give it the care and love to bring up a mentally healthy adult, as well as provide for it's physical needs.

I would do my best to reason with her, for the kids sake


Kaine.

No...it's selfish for a guy to ask a girl or woman to murder her own child just because he doesn't want to be responsible for what his choice of having sex led to. Everyone knows the risks involved in having sex and if they aren't willing to be responsible for any children that are conceived due to unprotected sex or failed birth control then he needs to keep his p*cker in his pants.

The only thing that disgusts me more than people who use abortion as after the fact birth control are men who pressure and or expect any female they get pregnant to abort. A lot of girls and women view abortion as the murder of their own flesh and blood. That's how I view it. Even if I were raped and ended up pregnant I would keep and raise the child.

 

[seabreeze]

Wyldfire,

I applaud you girlfriend! I would do the exact same thing if I were ever raped. There was a big discussion on this on the Askmen MB where I admitted this and most of the women and men disagreed with me.

Fellas, remember, the longer you have a sexual relationship with a woman the more your chances of getting her pregnant eventually. Keep that in mind and think twice.
SB

 

[TizZle]

Oh well.. Be more careful next time.
Birth control, condoms, and pull out before you shoot your wad or just don't have intercourse at all. You run certain risks when you have sex. I say man up and deal with this. A lot of women are against abortion and if she is one of them which obviously she is you can't make her get one. Make sure u get a pat test also. Here's a question that i would like to be answered.

If the woman didn't want the child but the man did could she still get an abortion without his consent if they knew it was going to be his child?

 

[TurboOverCubicInches]

1) the whole situation is your responsibility. It's happened, now you have to deal with it. DO NOT pester her about an abortion anymore. That is like playing with fire.

2) TALK TO A LAWYER!!!!! Know your rights. I don't really know how much you can do in a case like this, but if a lawyer can help ease some of the burden on you, I would do it.

3) DO NOT stay in the relationship!!!! If you really don't love her, get out of it. The child will be better off with a single mother who can find a new, responsible man in the future than with an unhappy biological father. BUT, if you have to pay support, you have to pay support. You pay to play dangerous. I would give her full custody, because if you are asking her to abort it, I think you, and the baby, are better off not knowing each other. Sure, he/she will want to know more about you as they grow older, but that is much less of a problem than if the baby is taken care of by someone who doesn't even want it.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Ugh, this is so heavy. It's things like this that make me rethink the DJ life.

 

[AverageFC]

She said forget about it. I would suggest taking her advice.

 

[Kaine]

Notice how I said individual? Whether it be the male or female.

Anyone who wants to keep a child for the sake of keeping a "life" without guarantee of it's future IS selfish.

What are you trying to prove? Are you so self righteous? Are you trying to teach someone a lesson? Only have a child when you are ready to give it the life it deserves, that been two parents and a stable home.

Even if you have the means to support it as a single parent doesn't factor in the potential for the psychological damage it has in it's future.

As an aside making babies is the responsibility of both parties in most situations. I don't know how this happened but she wasn't forced to have sex with him.

Babies don't choose to be brought up in a broken home by immature 'kids'


Kaine

 

[HKgunslinger]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
No...it's selfish for a guy to ask a girl or woman to murder her own child just because he doesn't want to be responsible for what his choice of having sex led to.

FVCKIN' A RIGHT!!!! Wyldire, will you be my new best friend?

Originally posted by Wyldfire
The only thing that disgusts me more than people who use abortion as after the fact birth control are men who pressure and or expect any female they get pregnant to abort. A lot of girls and women view abortion as the murder of their own flesh and blood. That's how I view it. Even if I were raped and ended up pregnant I would keep and raise the child.

DAYUM FVCKIN RIGHT!!!

Giovannikast, that is YOUR flesh and blood too, not some alien creature in your girlfriend, MAN THE FVCK UP!!!
You need to do some SERIOUS soul-searching, and if you can't be man enough to keep and care for your own flesh and blood then do the mother and her child a favor and leave no forwarding address!
The only thing worse than having no daddy is having a morally bankrupt daddy who views his OWN flesh and blood, his CHILD as some sort of MISTAKE!

It's time for YOU to decide. Are you a sniveling, cowardly wretch? Or are you a Man?

'Slinger

 

[PeeGee]

Get a paternity test, but other than that, the right thing to do is to start writing cheques.

Costly eh? This is why I always use a condom, even if she says she's on the pill.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

Since she won't abort it (abortion is evil in my opinion) the least you can do is be there for your child. Even if you don't want to have a relationship with her anymore you should at least visit her or call her sometime and ask about the baby and how everything is going. Remember you aren't doing this for her you are doing this for your child.

You just can't say "b|tch you pregnant? you wanna abort it? NO?? oh well see ya in 9 months"

what you can do now is work your butt off and start saving most of your paychecks. Little or no more going out with friends and wasting money on un-needed material things and 'having fun,' Save money for the child support and for the things the baby is gonna need when its born (diapers, clothing etc etc). You don't want the mom to tell your child when it grows up you didn't even buy a damn pair of socks!

 

[MacDiddy]

Because you asked!!!

Ok.... now that everyone has had their rant wrong or right, I'll offer some advice that may get you out of your predicament...

You need to pressure the girl to abort!!! Start of by getting back with her, comfort her, while slowing painting a picture of dispair if baby is had. Use NLP. Give her hope for the future, as long as she doesn't have baby... escalate the pressure.. Be a dastardly conniving schemer...

Else get her to sign a binding financial agreement absolving you from any responsibility for raising the child up... Failing that, leave the country... I'm assuming you are in a western country with tough family law courts...

Ok its all pretty cruel, but your not the first guy to have done it and you won't be the last.... keep that in mind as you make your informed decision...

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
No...it's selfish for a guy to ask a girl or woman to murder her own child just because he doesn't want to be responsible for what his choice of having sex led to. Everyone knows the risks involved in having sex and if they aren't willing to be responsible for any children that are conceived due to unprotected sex or failed birth control then he needs to keep his p*cker in his pants.

The only thing that disgusts me more than people who use abortion as after the fact birth control are men who pressure and or expect any female they get pregnant to abort. A lot of girls and women view abortion as the murder of their own flesh and blood. That's how I view it. Even if I were raped and ended up pregnant I would keep and raise the child.

Wyld, I now want you to have my babies . Seebreeze too (I am about as anti-abortion as it gets)

I agree with them both, Gio. Take responsibity.

 

[Dominus]

Adoption, maybe? Other than that, if she doesn't want to have an abortion, you better buckle down and face the consequences. Life sucks, but an uncertain life in the US (assuming you're in the US) is better than no life or a life in most places on the planet.

BTW, I seem to notice more and more that whenever I end up in an abortion argument, its the guys in favor of it, and the girls opposed. Its even more ironic when I consider that, in high school, it'd be me and my best friend arguing against abortion, and the girls screaming in favor of it.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Giovann...what can I say. You and your lover put yourselves in a pretty fucked up situation. It'll hurt, but you'll manage somehow.

My sister is 26 and living with me and my mother. We also have a 16 sister with us also. My older sister, the 26 year old has a baby who's 8 months old. It's difficult here. I can't sleep without the baby crying. I see dirty diapers in the trash everyday. She drools on my things. The baby actually peed on my bed right before I was going to sleep!

I can leave anytime I wanted, but I'm confortable finacially here. There will be a time when I leave, but the point I'm trying to make is, is that when I get upset I can't possibly be mad at the baby. It's not her fault. She dosen't know any better. *shrugs* And she's a wonderful child, watching her learn things and start to speak. It's such a miracle to see her grow...

....and I'm watching all of it when her father should be here witnessing these things. It's a damn shame.

Regardless of how you feel, Gio, it's your life inside of you ex. You can leave if you truly can't feel you can handle it. Remember that that baby will be there wether you think so or not. It's your choice. I don't feel like I'm in a position to judge. It's very grueling typing this and I'm being careful in what I say. Just...

I dunno.

To everyone else: There's no such thing as a illegitamate child, but there is a such thing as illegitamate parents.

 

[MetalFortress]

Re: Because you asked!!!

Originally posted by MacDiddy

You need to pressure the girl to abort!!! Start of by getting back with her, comfort her, while slowing painting a picture of dispair if baby is had. Use NLP. Give her hope for the future, as long as she doesn't have baby... escalate the pressure.. Be a dastardly conniving schemer...

STFU. You're a moron for trying to convince someone to have his own child killed like that.