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Jester

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im glad i wrote this down last night or i would have forgotten about it.


Would you have chosen your girlfriend or boyfriend if he or she didnt look attractive to you? If you say you would anyway, you really cant because thats one more of those FACCCCTS, that we judge mates(both men and women), by their physical features. You knew whether you would go out with that person within 3 seconds of meeting them(unless they were totally retarded in their personality).

What do you think it is that sparks that phenylethylamine high anyway? Its the way the person looks and your time spent around them!!! How many girls out there have crushes on tom cruise or bad pitt just from seeing them in a move?!?! Or for men brittany spears?

What if your girlfriend put on 50 pounds. And that once porn star look alike girl is now a big tub o lard. Would you still feel so strongly about her? Would your eyes still light up with excitement you saw her waddling down the hallway?

I know the answer....you do too.
 

JSH

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But its about whats on the inside :D
 

LikRetsam

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Unfortunatly Jester, the same theory applies to everything about the chick. If she wasn't confident, I would drop her. If she wasn't attractive, I would drop her. If she was excessively insecure, I would drop her etc etc etc.

But here's my question for YOU. If you were with a chick for 15 years and you truly considered her your soul mate, would you drop her because she started getting old and losing her mid twenty look?
 

MetalFortress

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"just because you will be unhappy doesnt mean u didnt keep the relationship.

Youre perspective is that the girl is your source of happiness, and thats rather pathetic, especially coming from someone whos fighting tooth and nail with some of the most experienced members of the HS forum. The girl is NOTTTTTTTT a source of happiness my man, and in a monogomous long relationship. You are by definition tied down. But theres more than that, if youre in a relationship like that, msot of the time she is going to want to have kids. You may or may not want kids, but that means you gotta get a steady job that pays well buddy. Oh yeah, she wants a house with a white fence too, a nice safe $30,000 minivan.

It doesnt mean it failed, it just means thats all it can be."

Uhh, no. Being single is about 10,000x better than being in a crappy relationship. But not all relationships are crappy. But your mistake is thinking that all relationships will turn to crap. But what about those that stay great relationships? Come on, consider the whole picture for once. Just because a relationship is not going to be my main source of happiness doesn't mean it can't be a source of happiness AT ALL.

Oh, and what if she wants to have kids? So, I DO TOO. She wants a nice house, well crap, ain't it amazing that so do I. You act like it's some big deal, that without a wife men would just troll around living in a trailer, pretending to be rich when they go out to pick up chicks.
 

Jester

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Originally posted by MetalFortress


Uhh, no. Being single is about 10,000x better than being in a crappy relationship. But not all relationships are crappy. But your mistake is thinking that all relationships will turn to crap. But what about those that stay great relationships? Come on, consider the whole picture for once. Just because a relationship is not going to be my main source of happiness doesn't mean it can't be a source of happiness AT ALL.

Oh, and what if she wants to have kids? So, I DO TOO. She wants a nice house, well crap, ain't it amazing that so do I. You act like it's some big deal, that without a wife men would just troll around living in a trailer, pretending to be rich when they go out to pick up chicks.
quoted from my original post "Be FREE from the chains of infatuation, follow your dreams! Be the musician, race car driver, astronaut, fire fighter, cop, marine, professional paint ball player, whatever!"

hey dude if thats your dream man, have fun. I suppose i just assumed nobody wanted to be like that.

I just dont see how you could ever participate in anything you know is false.....or why you would even want to when you know its BS. One thing i should correct in my post tho, perhaps you can be happy in a relationship, even until the end. AS has been said already, if you dont know about it, it cant make you sad. But now you do know. So what gives.
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Alexis Zorba

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All you have to offer is pseudo intellectual psycho-babble and an overreaction to a bad experience.
Instead of criticizing "pseudo intellectualism" just read between the lines. I am sure you are a smart guy. If you can understand their post why stop to criticize their writing style? Personally I enjoy their "pseudo-intellectual bull crap".(quoted from LuvMyArmyMan). It is much more insightful than most posts on this board. Matrix and Jester do provide their reasons for believing what they believe. Contrastingly many of the guys (and girls) in these forums do not.



And no Alexis we are not DJs. Different people have different approaches to it, to some it means a mindset to others a concrete set of things that they want to be. Is this wrong, no but you cant make generalisations.
What exactly do you mean?

What if your girlfriend put on 50 pounds. And that once porn star look alike girl is now a big tub o lard. Would you still feel so strongly about her? Would your eyes still light up with excitement you saw her waddling down the hallway?
No, she would no longer be attractive to my eyes. The easy thing would be to break-up with her. However, if I had been with her for a long period, a period in which I learned to appreciate other qualities that she possessed, I wouldn't drop her immediately. I would try to comprehend the reason for which she gained 50 pounds. I would drag her ass down to the gym to workout with me. I would put her in shape again. If she refused to do that well... that is proof that she didn't appreciate me as much as I appreciated her. So she wouldn’t deserve my effort and I would dump her. If she refuses to look attractive then she doesn’t love herself. And if she doesn't love herself why would I love her?

Alexis Zorba
 

MetalFortress

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Originally posted by Jester
quoted from my original post "Be FREE from the chains of infatuation, follow your dreams! Be the musician, race car driver, astronaut, fire fighter, cop, marine, professional paint ball player, whatever!"

hey dude if thats your dream man, have fun. I suppose i just assumed nobody wanted to be like that.

I just dont see how you could ever participate in anything you know is false.....or why you would even want to when you know its BS. One thing i should correct in my post tho, perhaps you can be happy in a relationship, even until the end. AS has been said already, if you dont know about it, it cant make you sad. But now you do know. So what gives.
The problem here, jester, is that you think your opinion is fact. You only think it's false. Just because you know the scientific reason why the feelings happen doesn't make them false, it just makes you a little more knowledgeable as to why it happens, and your pessimism accounts for the rest. Knowing why it happens making it false is like saying that reading the Bible (not DJ) makes God false. And if that's not what you're saying, then you're really being confusing. You only think that monogamy is lies and chains. You have provided no proof of your standpoint, only opinions.

Alex:

"If you can understand their post why stop to criticize their writing style?"

Because it annoys me, that's why. It screams "HEY, LOOK AT ME, I'M AS SMART AS ALL OF YOU BUT I'M GOING TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK LIKE A GURU"
 

LuvMyArmyMan

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You know what, BBB? i hate it when people give old dead white guys a ton of credit because they THEORIZED about life. he was a philosopher. (oh and it wasn't on purpose that i capitalized it in that one post) SO WHAT? the fact that you rule your life based on THEORIES proves that you know little about living life in reality. These theories do not apply for everyone, there are always exceptions. And for you to accuse everyone to living in a cave, is ignorant. To tell a couple that has been together for decades that they're living in the dark is ignorant.

Just because you havent had a good, solid realtionship doesnt mean you can criticize anyone else who is in one.

BBB, you talk of marriage as though it is a religious institution. It isnt. It was, but there are a ton of non-religious folk who get married.

personally, i dont call intellectuality spating theories from a set of movies aka the matrix and some dead philosopher. who was most liklely a homosexual. adn youre probably not even understanding what he origionally meant, or applying it to the wrong set of ideas.

You might have never said them Jester, but it reeks of implication. I’m convincing myself that you are wrong? I have known for AGES before your pessismistic post that i was not living in a “cave” and that not all relationships are destined to fail. Its not our faults that youre just a bitter teenager pissed off because his previous girlfriend turned out to be a psycho.

Do you know what happened to a friend of mine? She and her bf have been going out for three years, and having sex for two of those years. Just recently, her bf told her that he only has sex with her to please her, and he feels embarassed that he has been doing it, SINCE THE DAY THEY FIRST HAD SEX. Do you think that she’s a bitter pessimist because this happened? No. She’s trying to fix it.

You might have not said all girls cheat, but you implied it, and said that all girls are sluts. I never EVER want to be with another man other than my boyfriend. And you know what? I had the opportunity to be with another man last night, at a party, but i didnt, because i’m better than that.

When you say that all women want to be with another man, given the circumstances, that makes you look like someone who was cheated on, and therefore your bitterness translates to = all girls cheat. The fact that you think you can JUDGE the ENTIRE female population is BULLSH1T. Not until you have talked to and known EVERY FEMALE KNOWN TO EXISTANCE, past and present and future, then you can make that judgenment.

Of course the thought might cross one’s mind at times, but there is a thing called self-control. The fact that you believe that women have no self-control is very 15th century. Stop living in the past!

the fact that you judge ALL couples is very ignorant too.

JSH, whats wrong with what you call “indoctrination”? you are bound to get influence from something in your life, whether it be your parents, peers, church, the Bible, the coutry, the law, your teachers, professors, the media, where you live,. etc. You cant live completely uninfluenced life or else you’d be a hermit. living completely alone. When someone chooses something based on religious reasons, it means they are choosing to follow that belief. You make it look like someone chooses for them. And whether it be God or the church, you make it seem as though saving your virginity for your spouse is a bad thing.

What does that whole looks and attractiveness thing have to do with anything? Way to go off-topic.. If your S.O. gains weight (pregnancy NOT included) and you feel uneasy about it, you talk to them about it! you say, hunny, i think we need to talk, i’ve noticed that you’ve gained some weight. Are you depressed about anything? Lets go start working out more and get back into shape”. Chances are they’ve noticed the weight gain too and will want to get rid of it. And saying that you wont be attracted to them anymore and would not continue the relationship because of the weight gain, is SUPERFICIAL, SELFISH, and SHALLOW That being said, thank God youre not in a relationship right now. You wouldnt know how to treat a gf with dignity and respect if you didnt respect her feelings. Chances are, youre getting old and fat too, and how would you feel if your girlfriend or wife of several years broke up with you because “you were getting a little chubby and wrinkly” thats the whole part of getting old.

I suppose i just assumed nobody wanted to be like that.

you have to be one of the most ignorant people imaginable. Did you honestly think that EVERY man wants to be single for the rest of his life? Come on, man! You know whats really f*cking funny? My bf, he wants all that too, but he’s still gonna go out and do what he wants to do. Hes in the army, and he wants to go to Kosovo and will go even if he isnt signed up to go. I dont want him to go AT ALL. is that gonna change his mind? NO. he wants to go to barber school and start a barber shop. Its a great idea, just not what i had in mind but he’s still gonna do it, no matter what i want. I want to go to grad school and if he wants to get married before i’m done, then too bad.
I wanna finish grad school before tying the knot. its all about mutual aggrements and respecting one another’s lives.

I just dont see how you could ever participate in anything you know is false.....or why you would even want to when you know its BS.

I think that from Metal’s previous posts that he thinks the OPPOSITE of this belief. Its a BELIEF, not a fact. Its YOUR belief, in fact, and saying that everyone does or should believe it is ignorant and naive.

You are so young, you need to go out and experience the world for yourself. go to college, and discover that *shock* people dont think the same way as you!
 

JSH

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As i said, indoctrination is not a bad thing, but you do have lots of superficial choices, like whose indoctrination to take. You are allowed your own opinion and it does not need to be justified, but personally i would not want to hold to a 15th century bloke(who was meant to abstain and had children)'s spurious interpretation of a collection of writings from 2000 years before that.

Secondly, what was wrong if Plato was gay, in fact it was likely that he had gay lovers, It was accepted that when adolescent yiou would take older male lovers and then when a mature man you would impart that knowledge to younger adolescents. In fact it was considered more pleasurable than purely copreating. If you can't take instruction from Plato, then why take it from people earlier than him.
 

LikRetsam

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Originally posted by Jester
quoted from my original post "Be FREE from the chains of infatuation, follow your dreams! Be the musician, race car driver, astronaut, fire fighter, cop, marine, professional paint ball player, whatever!"
That is your opinion. Why would I not want to get infatuated?

it's 10 000x better to be single than to be in a relationship that is crap but it is 10 000x better to be in a great relationship than single IMO.

All my relationships ever have been good since the age of 4 (Yes, I was pimpin at 4 years old. PM me for the glorious story of how I kept 2 girlfriends at once at that age). I have experienced bad relationships, where the girl sent out about 5 red flags a day but it was still fun and I still learned ALOT from it. Why I put up with all the red flags? I was infatuated. Is that bad? not necessarily. It was fun to be infatuated and let myself go down to "AFC" level just for the heck of it. I was not blind to what was going on and to the fact that I could get much better poontang but that was fun. It felt great.

Infatuation is fun.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Best friends? NAY

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The problem with the theory that under some circumstance you will want to **** someone who is not your g/f, b/f, etc. is that anything could occur underany circumstance, under another circumstance you could never have the want to **** anyone else.

Half the matter in the universe could suddenly become antimatter and everything would cancel everything else out, but it hasn't happened, and it most likely won't. The odd's you will want to **** someone else is alot more likely almost infeneantly times as likely, but anything could happen at anytime, but don't count on it.
 

The Antichrist_Star

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I had some long, drawn out "God" complex, allegory filled post that I was going to write out... but you know what fuck it...

Lighten up everyone... and do what makes you happy.
 

LuvMyArmyMan

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i dont know, i just threw that out (about the whole gay thing).

but who cares anyways, its an allegory. i dotn think i'm in the dark about my relationship, and i know for a fact that anyone in a good, successful (lol matrix) relationship would agree. Those NOT in good, successful relationships would beg to differ. Its all a matter of perspective . Its always going to be biased.
 

Jester

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my post is defunct, im going to rework it and repost the idea with new and real evidence more in depth theories and less ambiguity.


thats why i love you guys, you force me to do things better. props to the djs and djuana.
 

UltimateScoundrel

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I would have gotten my two cents in earlier, but I've been on vacation.

Since I'm on my new simplicity kick, let me throw this out there.

Women fulfill two need in our lives, companionship, and sex. If you have a friend to share your experiences with, and you're getting laid, all is well.

If you happen to have a friend who is a girl, who you'd like to ****, why not simplify and fulfill your needs with one person.

If you don't need a companion because you have friends or enjoy being alone or have a dog or whatever, then all you need is sex.

Or...

If you're getting laid, enjoy masturbating, or touch farm animals, and you don't need sex, then all you really need is a friend.

When you are in either situation, a "relationship" is not necessary.

However, if you lack both, a "relationship" probably looks like a great deal.
 
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