Not so sure anymore

[jonwon]

So you’ve made some changes.

But there are still some more to do.

Remove:

Tdot pic

This picture is a poor picture it makes you look bland, your so obvious serious expression resembles a snarl. This picture alone will and I mean WILL put women off your profile.


Big drunken smile pic.

The drunken smile pic is all nice and cosy, but that’s all it is – it makes you look like a simpering beta male. Take it down, this picture again will put women off your profile.

I no longer smoke.

I like this picture, why? Your relaxed, laid back, it’s a good picture of you, one of your best (if not your best). You look serious but not OTT or try hard, just a nice relaxed photo of you on the bed, it also has a mix of alpha to it.

Be more like this guy, aloof confident and not really giving a s***, but in a nice way and not a arse-hole way.

Rocking out.

This is also a good pic, it tells a story in itself, this pic is good because it can be a converstation opener, it also shows you have passions on other things in life and are not some run of the mill de-dums male with nothing going for him, except TV and the usual cra*.

Keep this picture.

The best picture is in-fact:

The waterfall picture.

You look smart, nice cloths that really suit you. You should make more of an effort to be this guy 100%, at all times. The other pictures, your clothing attire looks scruffy and does not suit your frame. Stripped jumpers are a massive no-no. The contrast between this picture and your others are staggering.

This picture also is a great conversation opener, for example:

A girl could mail you with this:

‘Hi, nice pic by the waterfall where is that? it looks like your enjoying yourself’

There you go a nice conversation opener.

Think; less is more.

I also like the one with your close up uncaptioned picture, the look is like a distant none pose type of look that will appeal to some women, who simply detest ‘beer boys’ i.e men that pose at bars with a beer in hand, this picture will appeal to those types.

Make these changes.

No one can guarantee success but you should strive to make yourself as marketable has possible.

The best thing you could do as Bat stated is pack on some muscle too, but this should not stop you from attracting women, it’s just an added bonus that will secure a higher success rate.

Now I don’t normally post here, but my advice is golden, you can count on that.

Edit- Take out the falls in back' quote, let the girls ask you the question, this is a great fall back piece for a girl if she runs out of things to talk about. Don't give them info they don't ask about since you can use it in future to fuel a converstaion, i mean you not helping the situation by giving everything away so easily, make them work for that information no matter how trivial, but do it in a fun manner and not a 'in MY world' manner.

 

[SoylentGreen]

You guys rock!! Thanks for the great advice. This is exactly the kind of feedback I was aiming for.
I no longer feel so unsure about the dj lifestyle, I realize its all about inner game and presenting your best self to women.

Although, I have yet to make a successful approach - I have only ever tried three times and one time the girl was interested but married, so I moved on - I am NOT giving up.

But with the tips and advice here on this site(and a few good books I've read), I plan on turning into an "approach machine" - I will keep my pof profile up all the while, but won't be checking it as often, but I still appreciate the comments about my pics and "about me" section.


OH, and since the day I started this thread I've gained two pounds already! I am now at 126lbs as of this aft.

I am actually making positive forward movement, I like this feeling!!

 

[SoylentGreen]

I like this picture, why? Your relaxed, laid back, it’s a good picture of you, one of your best (if not your best). You look serious but not OTT or try hard, just a nice relaxed photo of you on the bed, it also has a mix of alpha to it.

Be more like this guy, aloof confident and not really giving a s***, but in a nice way and not a arse-hole way.

*SOB* sniffle - That picture is my oldest and your description of what I look like is EXACTLY how I was THEN. I didn't give a sh!t about anything then, I was so much more relaxed, fun, and yes, confident. THIS is where I am trying to get back to. I know that if I was there once I can get there again. I just have to un-learn everything that took me out of this frame of mind, I don't know where exactly I went astray or when.

 

[SoylentGreen]

Dude you are wrong you are so wrong and my life is proof of that. I am just like you. I am like 5'4 160 lbs, somewhat flabby, balding, high pitched voice I have to keep under control, not much money, etc. At this point in my life I am dealing with a lot of crap from my past that has caught up with me. In fact, I would party too much and did a lot of drugs and drink and spent too much money and got in trouble with the law. I was getting laid left and right. I felt like fuking Superman on cocaine. I was doing all kinds of crazy crap like stealing dude's gf's just to get them back for pissing me off, or fuking some dude's wife, just for the challenge of it. I'm glad I've had my ego shot to hell, because I realize what I was doing and my selfish mindset was wrong and I should be dead right now. I've had so many near death experiences from being stoopid, it's not even funny.So right now I'm having to deal with the self-improvement part of my life, but I can still get laid when I want to. I do have to run game and get a chick comfortable with me, but I can go to the library or a grocery store, or book store or even hit on a cashier and get a number or f-close in a parking lot or whatever too.

I have always had a great mind, but never really tried hard in school. Then I started working and did well in my business and did well when I was employed at my job, but I never really had much; just an apartment and a 10 year old truck. I ended up partying too much and went to jail a few times, and I admit I've been a complete bum my whole life, but I'm starting to change that. I've realized that I've been wrong and things are turning around for me. My whole family hates me just about right now.

All my close friends have abandoned me. I didn't realize that I wasn't really being a DJ. I was being the bad boy. My whole life that's all I wanted to be, but I found out that that is not where it's at. So, by being responsible, you are so far ahead in the game than the other loser that you don't even know it. You really need to develop that inner game. That core that tells you to persist and that you are the great catch and all that stuff. It's in you, it really is, but you have to bring it out by talking within yourself and constantly pushing yourself for more and more.

I'm currently living with a psycho for a housemate, but I'll be out of here in a few months. The point in all my rambling is that when I did have some semblance of control in my life and I did have some money and was working my way up, I got a lot more play, but I find out later through all this mess I'm going through, I found out quite a few things, but one was the importance of Inner Game. And that applies to anything in life.

You have to have the right psychology no matter what the circumstances. I'm beginning to get into the mindset that I like adversity most of the time with a few moments of triumph and then more adversity. It's like I can't live without some sort of difficulty in my way to challenge me and make me better. So 3 of the many things I've learned since I came on this site and started this whole DJ thing: 1. Adversity makes you better, so welcome it.

2. It's all about you, so you must be in control of you. Don't let anyone tell you about you. You can pick up on The What you need to improve on through communication, but in the end you have to control The Why you change.

3. Nothing is what it seems.You may look at a guy and see x and y and conclude z, but you may be dead wrong about that. The guy you said did drugs and got chicks, etc., probably dealt those chicks drugs. I know a lot of chicks, who are not worth my time (more on that in a sec), who screw their drug dealer. I know a lot of chicks who will screw me if I give them a loretab (I don't drug anymore, btw).

In fact today I saw 2 fine @ss women at my neighbor's house, who I cold have fuked if I wanted to, but I'm now in a religious stage where God is becoming more important to me, and I'm really trying to stay away from fuking and want to find a Christian girl to marry, because I think that is The Way God intended. I'm convinced, by seeing other Christians at my church and just by reasoning out the whole mess, that a marriage done God's way is better than all the promiscuous relationships in the world. I could write a book on that, but I will skip that for now, and I know I'll probably have to explain to some curious bloke why I'm still on this site with a bunch of manwhor*s.

The point is, you have to keep on persisting until you reach that point of victory. It's gonna come, but it will take time and effort. You can't tell me you can't try harder. Everyone needs to try harder. You say you're 124. Please dude, you could spend more time lifting heavy with low reps, eating twice your weight in grams of protein every day, and getting on a plan to build strength and grow muscle. You still have much more you need to do before you give up. Be of the mindset that you would rather die trying and have nothing, rather than do nothing and die not knowing what you could have had.

I know a lot of guys who get to a certain point and they just coast. Yeah they end up getting laid a lot, but are the women quality? Do they reach you at that spiritual level? Are they really on the same page with you? I know women are amazing creations. I know you can be mesmerized by a lady's look. She's like everything you have ever dreamed of. And you have this mindblowing wanton animalistic sex for like 3 days and then you're thinking she's like everyone else. I like her a lot and she's great, but I want more. It's always like that with me anyway. So there are so many different ways you can look at women and how you approach a relationship, I'm in this little corner right now, that probably no one else here is, but you can still learn a lot from the top guys on this site. They really put things in perspective when they post.

My outlook has changed so much now, I don't even want to talk to women who aren't close to my beliefs. I used to be the total opposite, but now I'm finding out exactly who I am and what I want and now I'm picky. So in the end, I think, you may end up being so particular that you will regret wasting your time with half the women you did. I don't know, but don't expect to get anywhere without paying your dues, doing your time, and taking it fully on the chin time and time again. That's life. And don't expect to do all that a not have results, because you will. Just keep at it.

And as far as the ATTITUDE. Yes you have to grow that. It will blow you up to 6 '4 in time. People who know me may not like me, but they know that you can't get into my head. If I know I'm right, no one will stop me from doing what needs to be done. See I know I have A LOT I need to improve (but nothing to prove), but I'm not going to let adversity stop me from changing. So it's good to be ridiculed. You end up learning a lot. And no, I'm never part of the status quo in any group. I love to be in the underground group always progressing and changing what everyone is so comfortable with. Humans need to learn to change and adapt. It's good for us. I'm not trying to be a complete outcast either. It's good to have report with people and to have friends who can help you out. I say friends loosely, because most people will stab you in the back when they can.

And some women have a fetish for small guys. I can't tell you how many times the tallest girl in the room acted very interested in me. Girls are much much much more hornier than guys. You just have to get them in the right mindset. And stop looking like you're fuking pouting all the time. Change the look on your face. At least look at the camera.

Thanks for all the excellent points in this post. I'm totally "picking up what you're throwing down" - I respect the fact that you took the time to uplift me in this way and to try and make me feel less hopeless. Good luck with your own issues as well; and stay out of jail!! You should be able to make all the changes you need to make WITHOUT the G.O.D but good luck in getting everything back on track

Cheers!

 

[frivolousz21]

I am 5'6", going bald...26 years old.

check my myspace for a pic....I am not ugly..I am probably considered decent..but I am bald and short..Ive had sex with 40 women in my life.

and a plethora of ****ty LTRS .

Ive been on 100 dates easy...

If you want it bad enough you will find away.

 

[jonwon]

presenting your best self to women.

It's not just about women, remember that!

You do these things for you because you want a better life, the women are a bonus always will be always was, this will never change and is the fundimental truth of the dating game.


It's about making yourself to be the man you are proud of, this in turn attracts women to your world, its a self fulfulling prophecy, never do it for women, but use that as a good motivator like all things, the women is the motivation but the true gain far exceeds what even women can offer you.

Start has you mean to go on and don't be afraid of success i.e, some men fail because they don't feel worthy of being great - push those walls and grow, there is only one way and that way is forward and up.

Only you can stop yourself.

Good luck, I know you'll do ok simply because you 'want' to.

Loosing motivation is simply your comfort zone trying to suck you back into mediocrity where its safe.

 

[GQ_Confidence_1]

I dont know if I believe in this "dj" stuff anymore.

I mean, I am UGLY. Not only that, but I am 5'4" and 124 lbs so I'm also TINY. I have a great new ATTITUDE from reading and practising the things on this site. For that I am so thankful.

BUT....I don't believe just because I think "I'm the man" or assume "she wants me" or I "neg" some hot 10/10 girl, that she will go:
"wow this ugly little man just dissed my nails, I want him now" - that just seems ridiculous. I also don't believe that being C&F will make a girl overlook my height and my looks.

Sorry to sound negative, but I have been trying these methods for awhile now and I still see guys that you would call AFC getting girls based solely on their looks.

I know of one dude who gets high all the time, has no cash, he smokes, is always asking for rides everywhere and sits around all day playing video games. He gets tons of chicks. He's tall and good looking.
Then there is another guy, me, who is healthy, works out, is responsible, financially stable, great on the guitar, has read and re-read most of this site, has a great personality and is NEVER getting chicks. I'm short and NOT good looking.

I would love to see an example of a short, unattractive guy scoring girls left right and center while utilizing the advice on this site. I doubt it. Sorry to sound negative but I talked to a large group of women last night about this and I am left to conclude that looks DO matter A LOT. Almost MORE than personality. In my opinion I'm S.O.L. no matter how good my "game" gets.

Please prove me wrong.

I'll add my two cents. Social confidence. Social awareness. That was really the difference for me.

Although I'm 6"2, 180.....you think, oh, it doesnt matter. He's tall. The 90's, pre this site and others, I couldnt do anything with women. If a hot girl showed up at my door in 1996 or 99 or 01, I would have had absolutely no clue what to do.

My looks havent changed, my height hasnt changed. I've gained some more weight, but I'm not ripped, I've never worked out formally. I'm not Brad Pitt. Same skin tone as the 90's. Not super tanned or anything.

But a major difference is becoming more socially aware, more socially attractive. Girls pick up on that. It's sort of this aura about you. They can tell whether you've spent the last month on the internet every night, never getting out, this is your first time out with them (insert nervousness on your part). I think trying game/personality/reading this site without a social attractiveness is very tough.

Girls can tell when they're standing in the presence of a guy that can F** them. Big difference vs just personality or attitude. Combine that with some minimal dj skills/knowledge, and girls get pretty easy.

Pre this site, like 98, 00, I use to go on "dates", if you could call them that, with a couple girls from, like yahoo messenger. Had no clue what to do, and girls would go along, just from my personality, but it was always the friend zone. And now it's a much different reaction....so I dont think its all height or looks. Just because you're tall doesnt mean girls are jumping on you. Or that you have the confidence to go out every night.

-Looks, clothing, you can only go so far, or you end up dressing like another person, and you're not your self. Style is important. And being comfortable.

-This other stuff, cologne, vitamins. In 2000 or 2002, I ordered pheremones from a site. Suppose to turn you into a super stud. But I would still meet a girl at starbucks or something, and it would still be somewhat awkard.

Social awareness/attractivness is hard to describe. But its knowing more than a line or two. Or 5 concepts from the internet like c&f, dhv, ec. Its not just spouting line after line. But already having the end in mind. You know the whole thing.

You have to be able to take a girl with you, metaphorically. You have to be able to take her back to your car. You need an empty seat. Not just a literal empty seat, but as a metaphor. Its very different than coming from the internet and knowing a few lines or concepts (but still being scared or nervous). She knows the difference between the two.

That's the whole comfort, protection, authority girls crave. Girls pick up on that instantly, when you first meet them.

That for me was the major difference...this other stuff, kino, ec, all this stuff you read is icing on the cake.

 

[fertileTurtle]

Good luck with your own issues as well; and stay out of jail!! You should be able to make all the changes you need to make WITHOUT the G.O.D but good luck in getting everything back on track

LOL I hear yah. You know the joke about Jesus must be in jail, because everyone who gets out always says "I found Jesus in jail!!!" LOL. Me and Him go way back, but I get what you are saying. Good luck on your endeavors.

 

[russell]

i'm not gonna read this whole thread, but one thing i do know for sure is that you are not too ugly to pull chicks. get over that ****!

 

[Trader]

Let me preface this by saying that I am currently 5'5 so all of this comes from personal experience and I am going to shoot straight from the hip.

First off, you are on an equal playing field against all guys for EVERY girl, who is your height or shorter. Girls always talk about how they like a 'tall dark handsome guy' but the truth is, as long as the guy is about their height or SLIGHTLY taller, height becomes a non-issue. There are tons of hot girls that are 5'4 and shorter - in fact most girls are short PERIOD. So already, there are tons of opportunities for you where height is completely a NON-FACTOR.

Now let's talk about girls who are taller than you. Yes you are at a disadvantage but this advantage can be overcome. I'm not going to lie to you, you are going to have to put in some effort to overcome this - but man up and do it. 3 key things:#1 you MUST get muscle, muscle helps a lot as it makes you look more solid and gives you presence, which helps make up for your height. #2 dress impeccably, yes I am telling you to dress to the nines, look nice at all times #3 hair, get a trendy haircut. All of these things you should be doing NATURALLY as part of the DJ mindset - after all, a DJ treats himself with respect, so therefore he always he looks his best anyways

I have had two girls who were 5'8 and HB8 that were into me - these 2 girls were the hottest girls in my Master's program. I also had another 5'8, HB8 girl into me as well.

So the truth is, yes, you still are the Prize to be won, even at your height - because given the chance, you can naturally charm any girl, tall or short - just improve your looks slightly and you will be given that chance.

Good luck.

 

[wait_out]

It's about more than muscle, clothes and haircuts, though you can get written off very quickly by women on first impressions. Their initial stage in filtering guys is the zero defect model. Once you are really sh*t hot, you can just blow their filter up by revealing to them that it's both shallow and ineffective... But Soylent, until you have the confidence and substance to do so, you need to hang on through this stage until she starts to ask the question "who is this guy, really?"

You will absolutely clean up after that first filter IF you have strong personal qualities and a highly developed life, values and interests. A lot of guys who are tall, dark, and handsome are not much more than empty suits in the same way that a lot of attractive chicks are not more than bimbos.

Lastly, if you're not fun and positive, girls will have a hard time being around you. I deal with some pretty heavy sh*t at work but it never touches the girls I have a good time with. Keep your own issues, challenges and unhappiness out of your dating life or at least do your best. That ought to be common courtesy between men and women, really.

Don't expect to win on the zero-defect filter, Soylent, but you are hardly resigned to misery with women. Being negative will kill you on the fun and positive side (C+F is just one demonstration of this) and not powering through your existential crisis will flunk you on the 'quality man' side.

'DJ' is a limiting term by the way... you carve out your own lifestyle and that can inspire people. There is a big difference between a 5'5 PUA running routines, and a 5'5 leader who empowers and awes others. Girls will most definitely notice that in the long run.