Not so sure anymore

[wait_out]

The criteria are just there for show. Few women stick by their guns. My recent lay is a woman who told me to my face that she wants tall, strong guys (we're the same height, 5'8" and she was wearing high heels - she even told me how tall she felt as she walked next to me and I just laughed at it), but the real message is that she told me it's coz she wants to feel safe & protected. Guess who whispered in my ears that she felt safe & protected as she laid there on my chest breathing heavily after a couple of hours romp that night?

Bingo.

To the OP, they're honestly a lot of good advice for you in the last couple of posts.

 

[Jitterbug]

I can't understand how you would think "waving" a chick over is a bad tactic since afterall, it shows you got BALLS/confidence, and puts you above her. And again, what woman doesn't like a guy that projects that?

It didn't work for you, did it? In fact, none of your "I have brass balls" moves works.

 

[edger]

It didn't work for you, did it? In fact, none of your "I have brass balls" moves works.

You're absolutely right, I'm always the first one to admit it. At least, however, I know my job performance is up to par.

 

[Mr. Me]

The criteria are just there for show. Few women stick by their guns. My recent lay is a woman who told me to my face that she wants tall, strong guys (we're the same height, 5'8" and she was wearing high heels - she even told me how tall she felt as she walked next to me and I just laughed at it), but the real message is that she told me it's coz she wants to feel safe & protected. Guess who whispered in my ears that she felt safe & protected as she laid there on my chest breathing heavily after a couple of hours romp that night?

Exactly. It's HOW you make them FEEL. She's looking to FEEL "safe & protected", she's looking to FEEL like a WOMAN when she's next to A MAN. Superficially, she figures, as many do, he therefore needs to be taller and stronger then me. What she's REALLY looking for is someone who comes off as MASCULINE, CONFIDENT, and COMPOSED.

Not to say that there aren't women who definitely won't date shorter no matter what, just saying that it's not an absolute.

I would love to see an example of a short, unattractive guy scoring girls left right and center while utilizing the advice on this site. I doubt it

Please people, lets not compare ourselves to celebrities

So a short, not-so-good looking, scrawny guy, but one who has fame or money will get women.

Well, if money or fame can trumps looks, then why do you think being fun to be with, and confident, charming and ****y wouldn't?

I can't understand how you would think "waving" a chick over is a bad tactic since afterall, it shows you got BALLS/confidence, and puts you above her. And again, what woman doesn't like a guy that projects that?

What makes you think a HB will do the work of walking over and "opening" you when you've waved? All she has to do is stand there and guys will approach her all night. Which path do you think she's likely to take?

In a sense, isn't that like a reversal of gender roles, flipping the chick making eye contact and the guy then approaching for the guy waving and then the girl approaching? Maybe it's like expecting the girl to take on the masculine assignment? Unless she has major hots for you from the first look, why would she bother doing the work of making the approach? It's fuglies who take on the work of approaching because no one otherwise approaches them. Not so the hot babes.

Let me also ask: Does a woman making eye contact with you signal confidence and balls - or does it simply signal interest?

Now let me ask: if a girl actually approaches you and initiates a conversation/opens, does that signal balls/confidence?

So, if a girl makes eye contact, and the guy smiles, waves, but doesn't walk over and open, doesn't that signal lack of confidence?

Case closed.

 

[Duffdog]

your looks are regular.....your main problem is living in a small town and most probably most girls that you like already know you from a long time ago...
you gotta move out man, I cant stress this enough...you gotta move out or travel to the closest big city where nobody knows you and start having fun as a cool guy....if you travel to a big city to have fun then start making male friends first, that is a must. then your confidence will grow and you will feel more confortable when you start seducing women.....I lived in a small town in nc and had to travel 55 minutes in order to meet new people and nice bars/discos. travel, travel and travel

That is excellent advise. When you get to the big city (whichever one you chose) you will find that the girls outnumber the males. When I lived in a small mountain town, I never got laid or had a girlfriend even though I thought I had everything together. When I came to the city, it was a hugely different place with all these girls everywhere.

Another thing that may surprise you. You don't look that bad at all. The second to last pic in your pof profile is probably your strongest. Oh, and one other thing, I got dumped for a guy who was like you in most respects. That's right, ME-- a 230lb 6'2 athlete executive guy got dumped for a 130lb schoolteacher that drives a Miata. I have found that the more spiritual girls are not into big guys as much as you might think. Its easy to spot those spiritual girls, you can find them driving volkswagens, listening to indie music and attending yoga classes. Your size and looks should be of no issue if you are an artistic type person and you have a life. Considering you are into guitar, I would say that you have an advantage already.

 

[Colossus]

SoylentGreen--

First of all, stop comparing yourself to others. I know it's hard, but it's very self-defeating. You have your genetic cards, and good, bad, or ugly; you have to accept them and yes---even embrace them. Also I think you're blowing other guys' success out of proportion. There are very few men who are constantly getting hot tail. Even the best-looking guys have dry spells, get rejected, and get heartbroken. Dont take one guy's acute success as evidence of him being a harem-master.

Second, I have to reinforce librito's point about geographic locale. This is a HUGE factor. H-U-G-E. Never forget that dating is a numbers game. That means you have to sift through a lot of girls before you find what you're looking for. When you live in a small town or if you're far removed from a metro area, your chances of encountering new, fresh women on a regular basis drop exponentially. So do what you have to do to get into or near a bigger city. Women do not congregate in the countryside. That's where you raise kids.

You arent that bad off looks-wise. I suggest bulking up to at least 150 lbs.

Also, get off PlentyofFish. That's for bottom-feeders.

 

[SoylentGreen]

Wow.

Judging by all these excellent posts, I have alot to learn and to consider. I'm almost embarrased. Sounds like I am going to have to go back to the top of that mountain and back into the cave for awhile. I definitely appreciate all the advice and there is so much I have to think about...

What I've learned:

- dont EXPECT to get girls because I've got better game, just know that it greatly improves my odds.
- just as fame and money can override how one looks, so can certain other elements such as dhv'ing, being alpha etc
- I could use about 20lbs of muscle mass
- I need to get off plenty of fish
- I need to move to a bigger city where there are "plenty of fish" - in other words, more options
- make women feel safe and protected while being confident and masculine and they will remain interested
- learn to work with "what I got"
- don't wave girls over
- I have to embrace what makes me more valuable and better utilize it

Hmm...I'm sure thats not all I have learned from these posts, but theres a lot to digest. Thanks so much for all your help, you guys are like my virtual support group, lol, except that instead of getting over drugs or alcohol, we are here to learn how to meet women. But ultimately we are learning to become better MEN and people, which in itself, will get us the women. I like it.

Ok, into my cave I go...

 

[mothballs]

Looks like you've gotten plenty of advice, already... but I know a guy who looks a lot like you and he gets plenty of tail... and height really doesn't matter to chicks that you actually want to be around... and if it matters to you, there are plenty of girls in the 5'4" and shorter category...

 

[edger]

What makes you think a HB will do the work of walking over and "opening" you when you've waved? All she has to do is stand there and guys will approach her all night. Which path do you think she's likely to take?

You're absolutely right, all she has to do is stand there in the club and guys will approach her all night, BUT, if you wave her over, it sends her the message of: "For this guy to wave me over, he must really be something(the prize), he must think of himself as above me, otherwise, if this weren't true, he wouldn't be waving me over, so, he must be the real deal". I know if someone waved me over like that, that's what I would think.

Maybe it's like expecting the girl to take on the masculine assignment?

I see what you're saying, but then what explains the women who throw themselves at wealthy men, rock stars, and athletes? These guys probably don't even remember what it is to do an approach anymore since they get approached left, right, up, and down. So if it was really that unnatural for women to take on this so-called "masculine" assignment, then why would they be doing it?

Unless she has major hots for you from the first look, why would she bother doing the work of making the approach?

Refer to my point 2 paragraphs above.

Let me also ask: Does a woman making eye contact with you signal confidence and balls - or does it simply signal interest?

Now let me ask: if a girl actually approaches you and initiates a conversation/opens, does that signal balls/confidence?

So, if a girl makes eye contact, and the guy smiles, waves, but doesn't walk over and open, doesn't that signal lack of confidence?

Case closed.

I see what you're saying, but what differentiates me in my circumstance, is that fact that I "waved" her over, which is the key, powerful thing here..because once again, in my opinion, that little "wave" displays confidence/balls. If I had only smiled or locked eyes with her and didn't follow up with approaching her, then THAT would signal a lack of balls/confidence. Waving her over made up for having to approach her. It acted as a supplement.

 

[S.S.N. 318]

your looks are regular.....your main problem is living in a small town and most probably most girls that you like already know you from a long time ago...
you gotta move out man, I cant stress this enough...you gotta move out or travel to the closest big city where nobody knows you and start having fun as a cool guy....if you travel to a big city to have fun then start making male friends first, that is a must. then your confidence will grow and you will feel more confortable when you start seducing women.....I lived in a small town in nc and had to travel 55 minutes in order to meet new people and nice bars/discos. travel, travel and travel

Thats why im try to get out of Monroe (A.S.A.P.) and move back to Georgia, I know I will have a better chance up there anwayz. And becomin a Superstarr...Real Talk!!

 

[Tazman]

I see what you're saying, but what differentiates me in my circumstance, is that fact that I "waved" her over, which is the key, powerful thing here..because once again, in my opinion, that little "wave" displays confidence/balls. If I had only smiled or locked eyes with her and didn't follow up with approaching her, then THAT would signal a lack of balls/confidence. Waving her over made up for having to approach her. It acted as a supplement.

I would have to agree with Mr. Me on this one. Waving a chick over can be seen as passive because it's almost zero risk. If she doesn't walk over then it's no harm no foul and you avoid outright rejection.

It can also be seen as arrogant because you're waving someone over who doesn't know who you are and has no idea what your intentions are. I wouldn't like it myself, even if it was an attractive woman waving me over. I'm not going to respond to that like an obedient dog. I'd probably wave back, but I wouldn't just pick up and walk over giving validation without qualification.

 

[Mr. Me]

it [waving] sends her the message of: "For this guy to wave me over, he must really be something(the prize)

I'm saying it doesn't send that message, or that even if it does, that message is trumped and snuffed out by what she receives via the wave:

"But I'm not going to make the approach. That's HIS job. Let's see if he has the balls to follow up or does he really expect me to go over to him? Ho hum. Maybe he thinks too highly of himself."

But the proof is in the pudding, no? I mean, it just doesn't work, despite the frame you want to place on how waving shows confidence. It's almost like you wish to be adamant that waving indeed must work, because it's based on a logical reason, despite the clear lack of results.

Thomas Edison tries a thousand different types of filaments to get an electric bulb to stay lit, rather then keep using the ones that burn out quick but rationalizing that they indeed do light.

what explains the women who throw themselves at wealthy men, rock stars, and athletes?

As opposed to not making themselves conspicuous to regular, non-celebrity guys who aren't flashing wads of money? Hmmm. I'll have to think about that one until I can figure out what the difference would be.

 

[mrRuckus]

Also, get off PlentyofFish. That's for bottom-feeders.

My strategy of "leave a profile perpetually up and occasionally reel in a girl who emails you out of the blue" for zero actual work seems to work.

 

[SoylentGreen]

My strategy of "leave a profile perpetually up and occasionally reel in a girl who emails you out of the blue" for zero actual work seems to work.

Yeah, actually where I live its winter. I can't get out as much due to the snow and the weather is often freezing to the point of ridiculousness, (plus being extra thin doesn't help) so I tend to stay in more. So plenty of fish is helpful during times like these. Just last night, I got this msg after messaging a cutie to say if we went on a dinner date I would like it to be somewhere fun and with a nice ambience, like Moxie's:

"No, We don't have a Moxie's. Boston Pizza is probably the busiest place in town. My cell # is ***-****....if you feel like texting me, I have text messaging too. My msn is t***********2@hotmail.com. And finally, my name is Rhonda...lol.
Talk to you soon..."

Haha, I told her I wouldn't date anyone with a weird plentyoffish-type-of-name like "freakonaleash69" or something and so at the end she kind of laughs while telling me her name...

But yeah, thats not bad; I like the idea that I got a phone number while watching Family Guy and sitting in my pyjamas.

I put in zero effort and have a potential date next week. Sounds like a win-win situation. :rockon:

 

[darkstarrr]

I dont know if I believe in this "dj" stuff anymore.

I mean, I am UGLY. Not only that, but I am 5'4" and 124 lbs so I'm also TINY. I have a great new ATTITUDE from reading and practising the things on this site. For that I am so thankful.

BUT....I don't believe just because I think "I'm the man" or assume "she wants me" or I "neg" some hot 10/10 girl, that she will go:
"wow this ugly little man just dissed my nails, I want him now" - that just seems ridiculous. I also don't believe that being C&F will make a girl overlook my height and my looks.

Sorry to sound negative, but I have been trying these methods for awhile now and I still see guys that you would call AFC getting girls based solely on their looks.

I know of one dude who gets high all the time, has no cash, he smokes, is always asking for rides everywhere and sits around all day playing video games. He gets tons of chicks. He's tall and good looking.
Then there is another guy, me, who is healthy, works out, is responsible, financially stable, great on the guitar, has read and re-read most of this site, has a great personality and is NEVER getting chicks. I'm short and NOT good looking.

I would love to see an example of a short, unattractive guy scoring girls left right and center while utilizing the advice on this site. I doubt it. Sorry to sound negative but I talked to a large group of women last night about this and I am left to conclude that looks DO matter A LOT. Almost MORE than personality. In my opinion I'm S.O.L. no matter how good my "game" gets.

Please prove me wrong.

Hey bro. My next door neighbor is about 5'5" and he's married to an apple-bottom who's about 5'3" AND they have a cute little squirt running around. They're good people.

The guy has a positive attitude and smiles a LOT. MY advice to you to take from this site is to remember that how you can make a woman feel is just as powerful as how you look and how tall you are. Its been said before by a wise man on this site that women don't fall in love with you but they fall in love with how they feel when they are with you.

My recommondation for you is to pimp yourself out as if you are God's gift to the planet. I'm unclear on exactly how you can achieve that but by taking steps to improve yourself (gym 3-4 days a week, cologne, tanning once in a while, clean your place/car, buy things for yourself, dress nicely, maybe get massages once in a while - you will begin to feel more valuable to yourself and that will glow in your personality.

Fuck the stupid superficial whores out there. Continue to get out of your place as often as possible and hang out with different little groups of people and if you do that and the advice in the previous paragraph I promise you that it will only be a matter of time before you meet a [higher] quality girl(s) who will fit the profile of what you are searching for; maybe a couple inches shorter than you if that's what will help you to feel like more of a man and in charge like Charles in Charge.

Good luck.

 

[SoylentGreen]

Thanks Darkstarr,

I know what you mean about putting that 'glow' back in the personality.

I definitely have to work on what I guess what would be called "inner game". I am going to focus more on this aspect for awhile, in an effort to be able have the positive attitude and smile more. I have already started working out and taking protein powder and I'm eating healthier so this will help. I have a few other areas of inner game in which I can grow to like for example when people neg ME, it REALLY bothers me, but thats a different post.

I like the idea of the tan and the massage!! I deserve both and it would make me feel like a million bucks. And yeah once the home/car are pimped out and some new clothes are on my back I'll be feeling tip-top.

I'm seeing more and more that what I do to benefit MYSELF, like saving money, working out, studying communication, dressing better, pursuing my goals, or watching my body language are the same things that will build towards me getting the girl. Before I even speak to her.

 

[Darth]

Not bad-looking...actually, you look like Marlon Brando in the first pic, lol

 

[fertileTurtle]

I dont know if I believe in this "dj" stuff anymore.

I mean, I am UGLY. Not only that, but I am 5'4" and 124 lbs so I'm also TINY. I have a great new ATTITUDE from reading and practicing the things on this site. For that I am so thankful.
....Please prove me wrong.

Dude you are wrong you are so wrong and my life is proof of that. I am just like you. I am like 5'4 160 lbs, somewhat flabby, balding, high pitched voice I have to keep under control, not much money, etc. At this point in my life I am dealing with a lot of crap from my past that has caught up with me. In fact, I would party too much and did a lot of drugs and drink and spent too much money and got in trouble with the law. I was getting laid left and right. I felt like fuking Superman on cocaine. I was doing all kinds of crazy crap like stealing dude's gf's just to get them back for pissing me off, or fuking some dude's wife, just for the challenge of it. I'm glad I've had my ego shot to hell, because I realize what I was doing and my selfish mindset was wrong and I should be dead right now. I've had so many near death experiences from being stoopid, it's not even funny.So right now I'm having to deal with the self-improvement part of my life, but I can still get laid when I want to. I do have to run game and get a chick comfortable with me, but I can go to the library or a grocery store, or book store or even hit on a cashier and get a number or f-close in a parking lot or whatever too.

I have always had a great mind, but never really tried hard in school. Then I started working and did well in my business and did well when I was employed at my job, but I never really had much; just an apartment and a 10 year old truck. I ended up partying too much and went to jail a few times, and I admit I've been a complete bum my whole life, but I'm starting to change that. I've realized that I've been wrong and things are turning around for me. My whole family hates me just about right now.

All my close friends have abandoned me. I didn't realize that I wasn't really being a DJ. I was being the bad boy. My whole life that's all I wanted to be, but I found out that that is not where it's at. So, by being responsible, you are so far ahead in the game than the other loser that you don't even know it. You really need to develop that inner game. That core that tells you to persist and that you are the great catch and all that stuff. It's in you, it really is, but you have to bring it out by talking within yourself and constantly pushing yourself for more and more.

I'm currently living with a psycho for a housemate, but I'll be out of here in a few months. The point in all my rambling is that when I did have some semblance of control in my life and I did have some money and was working my way up, I got a lot more play, but I find out later through all this mess I'm going through, I found out quite a few things, but one was the importance of Inner Game. And that applies to anything in life.

You have to have the right psychology no matter what the circumstances. I'm beginning to get into the mindset that I like adversity most of the time with a few moments of triumph and then more adversity. It's like I can't live without some sort of difficulty in my way to challenge me and make me better. So 3 of the many things I've learned since I came on this site and started this whole DJ thing: 1. Adversity makes you better, so welcome it.

2. It's all about you, so you must be in control of you. Don't let anyone tell you about you. You can pick up on The What you need to improve on through communication, but in the end you have to control The Why you change.

3. Nothing is what it seems.You may look at a guy and see x and y and conclude z, but you may be dead wrong about that. The guy you said did drugs and got chicks, etc., probably dealt those chicks drugs. I know a lot of chicks, who are not worth my time (more on that in a sec), who screw their drug dealer. I know a lot of chicks who will screw me if I give them a loretab (I don't drug anymore, btw).

In fact today I saw 2 fine @ss women at my neighbor's house, who I cold have fuked if I wanted to, but I'm now in a religious stage where God is becoming more important to me, and I'm really trying to stay away from fuking and want to find a Christian girl to marry, because I think that is The Way God intended. I'm convinced, by seeing other Christians at my church and just by reasoning out the whole mess, that a marriage done God's way is better than all the promiscuous relationships in the world. I could write a book on that, but I will skip that for now, and I know I'll probably have to explain to some curious bloke why I'm still on this site with a bunch of manwhor*s.

The point is, you have to keep on persisting until you reach that point of victory. It's gonna come, but it will take time and effort. You can't tell me you can't try harder. Everyone needs to try harder. You say you're 124. Please dude, you could spend more time lifting heavy with low reps, eating twice your weight in grams of protein every day, and getting on a plan to build strength and grow muscle. You still have much more you need to do before you give up. Be of the mindset that you would rather die trying and have nothing, rather than do nothing and die not knowing what you could have had.

I know a lot of guys who get to a certain point and they just coast. Yeah they end up getting laid a lot, but are the women quality? Do they reach you at that spiritual level? Are they really on the same page with you? I know women are amazing creations. I know you can be mesmerized by a lady's look. She's like everything you have ever dreamed of. And you have this mindblowing wanton animalistic sex for like 3 days and then you're thinking she's like everyone else. I like her a lot and she's great, but I want more. It's always like that with me anyway. So there are so many different ways you can look at women and how you approach a relationship, I'm in this little corner right now, that probably no one else here is, but you can still learn a lot from the top guys on this site. They really put things in perspective when they post.

My outlook has changed so much now, I don't even want to talk to women who aren't close to my beliefs. I used to be the total opposite, but now I'm finding out exactly who I am and what I want and now I'm picky. So in the end, I think, you may end up being so particular that you will regret wasting your time with half the women you did. I don't know, but don't expect to get anywhere without paying your dues, doing your time, and taking it fully on the chin time and time again. That's life. And don't expect to do all that a not have results, because you will. Just keep at it.

And as far as the ATTITUDE. Yes you have to grow that. It will blow you up to 6 '4 in time. People who know me may not like me, but they know that you can't get into my head. If I know I'm right, no one will stop me from doing what needs to be done. See I know I have A LOT I need to improve (but nothing to prove), but I'm not going to let adversity stop me from changing. So it's good to be ridiculed. You end up learning a lot. And no, I'm never part of the status quo in any group. I love to be in the underground group always progressing and changing what everyone is so comfortable with. Humans need to learn to change and adapt. It's good for us. I'm not trying to be a complete outcast either. It's good to have report with people and to have friends who can help you out. I say friends loosely, because most people will stab you in the back when they can.

And some women have a fetish for small guys. I can't tell you how many times the tallest girl in the room acted very interested in me. Girls are much much much more hornier than guys. You just have to get them in the right mindset. And stop looking like you're fuking pouting all the time. Change the look on your face. At least look at the camera.

 

[jonwon]

First Advice:

Get off plenty of fish:
(online dating can screw you head up and is no where near has confidence building has getting out there, it's a poor mans way to attract women, get out of your comfort zone)

If your staying on, here is my second:

You write:

'Hi there...thanks for stopping in. I guess you want to know more about me so here goes:

‘I am old enough to know better, but young enough to do it again. Or should I say I'm young enough to do it often and old enough to do it RIGHT’.

I like this keep it


‘I am not going to lie, I'm pretty selfish; I like to do what I want, when I want. I am not into drama or emotional instability’.

This is cr** so many things wrong with it, get rid of it

‘I workout alot, am pretty health conscious and energetic. I am also very ambitious ‘

I like this, keep it

‘so don't be surprised if I put my goals AHEAD of you...at first anyway’.

Get rid of this it makes you sound like an arrogant bastar*.


‘or MY reality’

Get rid of this.


Keep the rest of it.

It seems your trying to too hard to be the arrogant bad boy **** the girls like, but your label of yourself is great except for the things I have asked you to remove, they make you sound like a **** who is up his own ass. You wan’t the girls to see you has a confident challenge not an ass hole.

Remove the picture of your face to the side, the one where you have a snarl, it looks horrible.
Remove the picture of you in your white jacket.
Remove the picture of you in the striped jumper.

Put the picture of you by the waterfall has your main pic.

I used plenty of fish before I had 55 people who put me on there favourites.

You’re a good looking guy but your probably too stupid to know it (no offence it’s a classic PUA put down to make you realize its in your head), you don’t take advantage of your attributes, that is your problem.

Also i would not assume you know the game yet, to me your just starting out, you made many classic mistakes.

edit-
Look at this guys profile:

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member11025530.htm

Smiling in all pics, great picture shots. Yeh he's buffed but so what he makes an effort to make him self appealing, think of like marketing, your getting people to shop around, so sell them a fuc*ing good product, your profile is half way there.

He also remains a mystery, does not give anything away, comes across has decent not an ass-hole or too try hard.

Thats the type of profile you should be aiming for buffed or not, it's just an added thing for him.

 

[The Bat]

Lot of great responses.

I will add this picture:

http://www.mitchell.derbycounty.co.uk/lion_cat.jpg

And yes, please put in some serious time at the gym. Head to Health & Fitness section and follow the routine + the diet posted in the sticky there.

Focus on making gains in the gym and on the weight scale from now on! That is your #1 priority as far as self-improvement goes.