Not Invited to Social Circle Party Because I Hit on Girls

[jimwho]

You blame this on advice from here and night game books. Believe me, If they're not inviting you to parties then they don't love you. If that's the case then your "trying" and the girls can smell that from across the street. If they're smacking your hat off they have low respect for you and whatever theatrics your trying.

Suggest turning down the heat and blend for a while. If you're charming and interesting then just be aloof. Don't Bragg don't talk about yourself, let them come to you and wonder what you're about. Excuse yourself from stale conversations and leave the parties early before they tank.

We made heavy eye contact several times, after which I would move my arm to make her blink, telling her "you lose!". She was having a good time. One time we had a staring contest for 20 seconds and at the end she tried to make me blink but I was super stoic and didn't move a muscle. She was pretty surprised about that.

^^^Please stop doing this^^^

 

[BackInTheGame78]

^^^Please stop doing this^^^

That sounds super lame and try hard

 

[CollegeMan22]

That sounds super lame and try hard

If it was so lame, then why did she punch my shoulder at the end when she was leaving? Why was she try to get my attention? I’m not some incel hobo desperate for girls. I have two right now. Sometimes it’s fun just playing with them. I talked to these girls for 10 min in the middle of the party and then left to talk to my closer friends in the social circle.

Yeah, I might have gamed them too much, and definitely too much in front of all of our friends. This would be better when isolated. I’ll learn from that. But I’m not gonna chop my **** off and just logic talk to girls. F*ck that, I want to have some fun with them. Read the posts of @kavi. He has something valuable to say.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I dont get it. You go to a party, you teased some girls a little, have a good time and suddenly you are "that guy" who "hits" on all girls and they dont want to invite you to parties.

F0ck them, they are not your friends. This is borderline alpha-ashaming, trying to turn you into a blue pill feminist beta simp. Spend your time somewhere else.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If it was so lame, then why did she punch my shoulder at the end when she was leaving? Why was she try to get my attention? I’m not some incel hobo desperate for girls. I have two right now. Sometimes it’s fun just playing with them. I talked to these girls for 10 min in the middle of the party and then left to talk to my closer friends in the social circle.

Yeah, I might have gamed them too much, and definitely too much in front of all of our friends. This would be better when isolated. I’ll learn from that. But I’m not gonna chop my **** off and just logic talk to girls. F*ck that, I want to have some fun with them. Read the posts of @kavi. He has something valuable to say.

Who is advocating for talking logic?

I'm just advocating for not doing lame stuff.

 

[lgbs2004]

Some guy in the party got jealous because you were doin' fine with the ladies and he wasn't

 

[SW15]

Some guy in the party got jealous because you were doin' fine with the ladies and he wasn't

I have seen that happen in social circles. Most members of most social circles have a blue pill ideology towards romantic relationships. There's a lot of scarcity mentality in the blue pill viewpoint.

 

[jimwho]

I don't think anyone here thinks you're an Incel Hobo desperate for girls. That's some funny sht right there. If anything you're talking about me right now. Been invited to a party tomorrow with people my age, Church go-ers, Dry party,
Midwest, and none of them has ever been an athlete or thrill seeker in their life. I'd rather be you right now.

I'll watch the game alone.

 

[LTG71]

I'm amongst the earliest Millennials. As I see it, Gen Z is currently accelerating all the bad social trends that became more prominent in the Millennial generation.

Millennials were the first to become socially stunted. When I was in college (2001-2005), early Millennials were using AOL Instant Messenger as a precursor to texting. It was the same general idea. It was a form of avoiding interpersonal interaction, which later evolved into text messaging and Snapchat.

Facebook was founded in my junior year of college and MySpace got really big in my senior year of college (2004-2005).

There was the sexual assault narrative on campuses back then.

In-person approaching wasn't frowned upon back then but there some cliquey behavior then too.

View attachment 9671

From this chart, you can see how long term couple formation in college started dropping off in the 2000, which is when the earliest Millennials started getting to college. From the 1970s-1990s, as more Boomers and Gen Xers went to college, they were forming more longer term relationships at college. The Boomers and Gen Xers were raised in a less technological environment and had more actual social skills. Millennials were the first large generation to get a lot of the socially stunting technologies and the woke cultural elements became stronger with them.

I know some Millennial women born in the late 1980s (the middle of the generation) who are quite socially inept. I've seen it with my friends' wives.

As a Gen Xer, I agree the lack of technology forced you to be more social. We all got Ataris in high school and it was very basic and lame. Some people had pagers, which seems so barbaric by today’s standards. We would joke, “Who’s that, your drug dealer?“ Imagine having to have change in your pocket and running around to find a pay phone to make a call, lol. We spent hours outside playing basketball, football, tag, talking, you name it, the boys and girls. There was an older girl that always wore shorty shorts where her cheeks were always on display. She flirted with all of us and even showed a few of us how to kiss. I’d probably be afraid to see her now. It was way different back then. You had to have the balls to talk to a girl face to face.

Today at work we have all these millennials and gen Z kids that walk around like zombies. Heads buried in their phones and lacking social skills. Wearing headphones all day so they don’t have to interact with others. Nobody knows how to talk, yet they all want to be promoted just for showing up and get easily triggered or offended like a bunch of little b!tches. My employer even went as far as eliminating merit based annual reviews. Because heaven forbid you reward the harder workers with more pay. Everyone gets a trophy now. Another trend is a huge majority of mid-thirties people with no partners, families or kids. One guy in our group is 30 and now has two kids. He is an outlier and seems like an odd ball for having what I would consider a normal life. What’s different with him is he and his wife have traditional values. It’s interesting to watch the feminist women his same age cringe at the idea of having kids while they don’t seem to be living a better life alone.

I‘d like to see how these trends correlate with ethnic backgrounds. I see many people with non-western ethnic backgrounds still holding traditional family values where both the mother and father are respected for their unique and different rolls they play. Here in the west, there has been a huge decline in the respect for the roles men play in society.

The graphic definitely shows how social interactions have changed with the advent of technology. Would be fun to add in trends in “happiness” between the TWO sexes over this same time period.

Sorry I went off topic. But yeah, slow your roll with this group or you will forever be labeled as “that guy”. Girls have a hive mentality and they always look after the sisterhood. You want them to give you social proof as a cool guy and not as a creep.

 

[lgbs2004]

I have seen that happen in social circles. Most members of most social circles have a blue pill ideology towards romantic relationships. There's a lot of scarcity mentality in the blue pill viewpoint.

I've seen this a million times! Sometimes the guy doesn't have the courage to approach women and doesn't accept when another guy does it satisfactorily.

Or the guy had a crush on one of the girls the op approached.

Who knows?

 

[2Rocky]

She seemed pretty emotional and said "yeah, I'm a winner!". I proceeded to keep hard teasing her. We made heavy eye contact several times, after which I would move my arm to make her blink, telling her "you lose!".

This is immature BS...Your "teasing" that you thought was charming was annoying. You probably were the loudest guy in the room and it annoyed the people around you. You gotta learn to spike the emotion but then back off. If you keep the energy level high, you have to keep increasing it to get a reaction...

Every drunk ******* thinks he's hilarious....

 

[Divorced w 3]

You are doing an equivalent of going out to the buffet with a bunch of friends and eating all the food.

Social tact goes a long way in these situations.

Stop giving off the vibe you are so thirsty you'd fvck the first girl that is interested. I mean we've all seen the dude at parties hitting on every woman there and then making out with the 350 lb whale at the end of the night since she is the only one interested in quenching your thirst.

Don't be this dude.

Bingo… would have said something similar.

the key in these situations… let life come to yoI… the absolutely best move is to just be the guy that has a lot going on and let gravity pull things into you. OP is unintentionally giving off vibe that he wants to fck everything that walks, which irritates them all bc essentially none of them feel special.

go to the party, imo, OP just be chill

 

[Gamisch]

I think the responses here are all wrong, though I could be wrong myself.

It looks to me like standard female game-playing.

Sometimes when you come across too strong, women can be intimidated, or even if it is not too strong, they will see a guy with confidence, and they will realise that you are the energy of the party, you may have done eveything good and positive, but women, due to their insecurities and game-playing nature, will attempt to block, exclude, belittle you etc.

It is very very common for women to act negatively towards guys who bring positive and attraction energy. Often times I do good and positive things and just get negative responses from women.It is just a defense mechanism for them.

This just looks like game-playing ie trying to control you and gain the upper hand in the social interaction. It makes them feel good that they have the power to exclude a confident social person from their group, that gives them power, this is the kind of low-level crap that women get off on. Using low-level manipulation to overcome your masculine confidence, the only way weaker women can win over stronger men.

You just have to be unaffected and wait it out or wait and see.

I somewhat agree . But iirc , it the men in the group were also against him coming to the next party. Yes, beta men will side with women and act feminine when they feel threatened by a another male. They'll start gossiping and all that shyte. You stir up the entire dynamic in the group. Like @SW15 always says, men in social groups try to benefit from a closed circle and play the LTR game. Kinda reminds me how most male animals will fight another male just because he exists.

Ofcourse we all know that at least 1 woman in that group considered fecking OP, but she is probably "not allowed" to openly confess this. Sooner or later a few less beta men will swipe them all away and they all will be Alpha widowed or play the men that they to shield them from other men.

I also agree that the smacking your cap is a sign of hardcore teasing. Most equivalent to the azzsmack. Literally challenging you to escalate somehow. A woman who does that wants you to isolate her. Missed opportunity imo.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Apologize to the host. Limit yourself to two drinks. And stop hitting on all the girls. Sounds like you don’t know how to read a room.

 

[SW15]

Today at work we have all these millennials and gen Z kids that walk around like zombies. Heads buried in their phones and lacking social skills. Wearing headphones all day so they don’t have to interact with others.

That behavior extends beyond the workplace for both Millennials and Gen Z. As a older Millennial who has interacted mainly with Millennial women over the years, Millennial women seem to like to wear earbuds/headphones everywhere. Millennial women were the ones who made wearing earbuds/headphones in gyms commonplace. They did the same thing with parks and paths too. This reduces their openness to being approached.

It was way different back then. You had to have the balls to talk to a girl face to face.

Now, the technology that was new in the 2000s is ingrained. There are 35-40 year old Millennials who haven't done in-person approaching ever or rarely. They initially came of age in the era of instant messengers which evolved into text messaging, smartphones, social media. They could rely on dating websites and later dating apps.

It's not odd today to be 30-40 years old and have very little in-person approaching experience.

Another trend is a huge majority of mid-thirties people with no partners, families or kids.

I have arrived in my late 30s as a never married male who has no children. My friends/acquaintances are primarily mid-30s and late-30s. Most of them are in LTRs/married. Many are starting families. I seem to be the outlier among the people I know.

No one's social circle is a representative sample.

 

[Murk]

Everything has already been said. The scattergun approach won't work in a social circle house party, you get girls guard up so they won't even want to be seen to letting you get the number/smash. Isolate the best (single) ones and target them.

Host could be a c-block, maybe you didn't flirt with her enough.

I've very glad I don't have to deal with immature scenarios like this anymore. Also co-sign hosting your own parties. I usually host at my place, my place my rules.

 

[CollegeMan22]

I just observed something else. The group chat we’re all in and plan parties/events in has went strangely silent. The assumption on my end is that they created a new one without me after the party. Then they put the new party invite in there.

 

[kavi]

Everything happening after the party looks like some kind of ****-test to me. I just think they are fcking with you for laughs.

You obvioulsly got into their heads cos they created a new group and ghosted you, instead of kicking you from the existing group. This is to make you wonder, feel bad about ourself, feel lonely, isolated etc.

IMO your best bet is to show them that you dont feel bad, were just being playful or maybe got a bit too drunk etc ie not a big deal and that you dont care n or notice the group is gone dead. They will definitely test you again to see if you are affected by their treatment. If you remain unaffected and their immature behaviour has no effect on you it will definitely raise your status in their eyes, i think they already think you are up there hence the '****-tests'.

 

[kavi]

I somewhat agree . But iirc , it the men in the group were also against him coming to the next party. Yes, beta men will side with women and act feminine when they feel threatened by a another male. They'll start gossiping and all that shyte. You stir up the entire dynamic in the group. Like @SW15 always says, men in social groups try to benefit from a closed circle and play the LTR game. Kinda reminds me how most male animals will fight another male just because he exists.

Ofcourse we all know that at least 1 woman in that group considered fecking OP, but she is probably "not allowed" to openly confess this. Sooner or later a few less beta men will swipe them all away and they all will be Alpha widowed or play the men that they to shield them from other men.

I also agree that the smacking your cap is a sign of hardcore teasing. Most equivalent to the azzsmack. Literally challenging you to escalate somehow. A woman who does that wants you to isolate her. Missed opportunity imo.

Yh but those guys being beta, not saying anything to OP but talking to the girls about him etc I mean this whole situation, OP just looks like the most Alpha guy in the party. The one everyone is talking about and testing and taking positions around.

OP went to the party and had fun and whatever. Next thing there is a whole drama/gossip etc about it, no woman got hurt or disrespected afaik, some women enjoyed the banter and energy, OP seems have brought the most energy to the party. Now everyone is talking about him and levelling against him.

AFAIK the woman know OP is the most Alpha guy there. Other men are behaving beta, both at the party, by not saing anything if OP was being anti-social, and then gossiping and **** after the party.

OP now just needs to own it and take his position as the most alpha guy out of all men there.

A good option for OP is to go even further, be more ****y-funny arrogant etc ie escalate the conflict/drama, dont back down and dont give it. If its drama they want give it to them. The women will definitely miss you being around. If nothing else this is a good life lesson for OP, when humans act threatened, weak, beta due to your male alpha energy, you just gotta intensify and go harder cos they are showing you a weakness.

 

[Vice]

Holy **** some of you guys are ****ing idiots.

Being "alpha" isn't a thing. At all. You were likely being ****ing an annoying douche, and made the women uncomfortable. This isn't that deep.

If some dude came to one of my parties and started aggressively hitting on women thinking he was "alpha", I'd ask him to leave.

Don't try to **** women in your social circle; bring women INTO that social circle you meet elsewhere as a reason to hang out further.