Not Invited to Social Circle Party Because I Hit on Girls

[bat soup]

If someone told me I can come to a party as long as I don't hit on any girls, I'd tell them I'm good and not go to their party/church group meeting.

 

[Slowhandluke]

If someone told me I can come to a party as long as I don't hit on any girls, I'd tell them I'm good and not go to their party/church group meeting.

And these men and women will form cliques and take away jobs and opportunities from you. They will have the resources to go to the best schools, best restaurants, etc... One horny man cannot fight/compete with a horde of people working together to accomplish what they want. They will figuratively kick dirt in his face, and he will wonder why they can do that. He might even go to the cops, but the cops wouldn't do anything because the group is "in with" the cops.

Being in a good/valuable social circle, and girls outside the social circle will flock to you... you wouldn't need to "steal" away girls that are already in the social class.

One time, I was at a university as a TA. I graded hwk for engineering students. It was finals week and a friend of my said he was extremely busy and didn't really do a good job on his assignment. I looked at him, and I told him, it's ok..... Guess what. He did fine. I graded his assignment. Social Circle? You bet. I think that happened a few times. It's been a while since I was in college.

Another time, I went to divorce court. The opposing lawyer knew the judge.. Guess what? I was screwed. Social Circle? You bet.

Moral of the story, you want to be included into as many valuable social circles as possible. Being "alone" and without a team does not bode well... Advice for all the horny young men. Put the d**ck back in the pants. Want to get laid and can't wait? Get an escort. Or else, people of influence will steam roll over you... over.. and over.. again. Basically, they will run a train on you, and you wouldn't even notice it.

 

[kavi]

You cant blame young men tho for wanting to get laid, cos this is the message the system imparts on them.

My experience of these types of social circles is that they are generally v negative and weak and a real man needs to exist outside of them. I dont think Tate, Musk or Bezos ever cared for these types of groups.

My own exp of these types groups is that until college days the guys in them do well and have status and some happiness. After that time all the men in these groups lose status and social skills and happiness. The groups primarily being clickey and feminine, ridden by politics and alliances, subjuctates men to deferential status. Monogamy, marriage, money ie 'traditional values' links these groups to boomer values via money and jobs and respect for family via women.

I see this as an opportunity though. A guy with both masculine, social and attraction skills, can take a centre position in a group by remaining single and not becoming offically or 'emotionally' attached to just one girl. And then drawing multiple women towards himseld. Then, balancing the women close to him other women and men would enter the social group, with the centre guy in the middle but somewhat outside the group and outside of the groups main focus, which is to provide both alpha (knowledge, leadership, masculinty, attraction) and beta (financial help, support, numbers, options) males to women.

 

[Slowhandluke]

My experience of these types of social circles is that they are generally v negative and weak and a real man needs to exist outside of them. I dont think Tate, Musk or Bezos ever cared for these types of groups.

I read the biographies of both Musk and Bezos. Musk had a social circle - childhood friends, and siblings. When he helped cofound paypal, the cofounders were in his social circle. The average horny kid was not invited into this circle. Trust me. Musk was too busy trying to start paypal to worry about some kid trying to mack on his gf or causing drama. Bezo's came from the investment banking. One of his closes friends was an executive in a big investment firm - I can't remember which. When he was trying to get amazon going, his friend told him it might not be worth it, but at the end his friend invested IIRC hundreds of thousands of dollars. I think his parents also invested.

Yes, these social circles were probably run by the guys, but I'm not 100% sure. I think for Bezos; his wife probably ran it. He probably didn't have time. His ex-wife was there from the beginning trying to network and make make relationships (business) work in their social circle (I assume). Bezos was quite driven. Really type A.

At the end of the day, having connections ("its not about what you know, but who you know") -- the social circle is a big aspect of this. If a young persons only motive is to get his **** wet, he's just wouldn't get far. People like Musk, Bezos, etc.. will run these people over.. and if they wanted, they probably could take whatever girlfriend that young person has (if he even has one), and bang her, and abuse her. And give her back to the young guy... and then say, "ooh, sorry... theres a little something in her hair. Here's a kleenex..."; and the girlfriend will laugh and giggle...These high value guys will then leave, not even caring.. not even really remembering who that young person was... or even the girl. There's more important things to them.

But yeah... keep on being an idiot.. keep on trying to hit on other guys gf in a valuable social circle. Just my 2 cents.

 

[HaleyBaron]

People like Musk, Bezos, etc.. will run these people over..

Bezos and Musk are still bp nerds. Have you seen their women.

 

[SexManiac]

Bezos and Musk are still bp nerds. Have you seen their women.

yeah and the only reason they get away with women is because of their money.

 

[kavi]

I read the biographies of both Musk and Bezos. Musk had a social circle - childhood friends, and siblings. When he helped cofound paypal, the cofounders were in his social circle. The average horny kid was not invited into this circle. Trust me. Musk was too busy trying to start paypal to worry about some kid trying to mack on his gf or causing drama. Bezo's came from the investment banking. One of his closes friends was an executive in a big investment firm - I can't remember which. When he was trying to get amazon going, his friend told him it might not be worth it, but at the end his friend invested IIRC hundreds of thousands of dollars. I think his parents also invested.

Yes, these social circles were probably run by the guys, but I'm not 100% sure. I think for Bezos; his wife probably ran it. He probably didn't have time. His ex-wife was there from the beginning trying to network and make make relationships (business) work in their social circle (I assume). Bezos was quite driven. Really type A.

At the end of the day, having connections ("its not about what you know, but who you know") -- the social circle is a big aspect of this. If a young persons only motive is to get his **** wet, he's just wouldn't get far. People like Musk, Bezos, etc.. will run these people over.. and if they wanted, they probably could take whatever girlfriend that young person has (if he even has one), and bang her, and abuse her. And give her back to the young guy... and then say, "ooh, sorry... theres a little something in her hair. Here's a kleenex..."; and the girlfriend will laugh and giggle...These high value guys will then leave, not even caring.. not even really remembering who that young person was... or even the girl. There's more important things to them.

But yeah... keep on being an idiot.. keep on trying to hit on other guys gf in a valuable social circle. Just my 2 cents.

There are two types of Social groups or circles, each at one extreme end of the natural spectrum.

Female-Run Modern Social Circle: Here you get the typical type of social group talked about here, normally monogamous and run by women to keep everyone in line. Normally very traditional, boomer, 'proper', middle class, low-energy, beta males etc. These are most of the social circles that exist today. These are very egalitarian, decentralised, political, boring and useless.

Male-Run Cult/Centralised Group: The other extreme end, this is where all cults and organised religion type groups come from. A central Male lead has a kind of cult of personality, ideology and energy that everyone rallies around. These groups are the opposite of the above, centralised, unequal, heirarchical.

Both extremes above mentionedd have their problems. The ideal human social group exists somewhere in the middle with the female decentralised, egalitarian element and the male leadership, alpha, cult-like energy too. Currently most social groups in the modern world are the female run variety, so the male cult-like aspect needs to be brought into them. To do that peoples need the introduction of some ideology or system that can centralise the groups.

 

[kavi]

But yeah... keep on being an idiot.. keep on trying to hit on other guys gf in a valuable social circle. Just my 2 cents.

Lols I have never see a valuable social group like this. This is weak boomer mindset. Never call a social group without male heirarchy valueble cos it isnt.

Guys who go to social circles to hit on women to get laid are exactly the simps and orbiter you want if you are a male leader of such a group, those guys can bring money, energy and generally numbers to groups. Women love to manipulate those types of guys and love to give them hope and string them along.

Things go wrong only when the Alpha or Male energy in the group is too weak, then you have women desperate for that energy, can be taken advantage of by low-class guys just looking for hookups. The group can only prosper and be balanced when the male energy affects the whole group and therefore the group cannot be consisting of official couples.

FYI here is the socio-politicsl framework that I aim to build social groups around

http://www.newtown-cdp.org/

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Then I went to the couch and there were 2 girls sitting there. There was another girl standing. I was testing the 2 girls on the couch, both of which had BFs,

"Testing" girls which actually have BFs....... i guess they just thought they escaped you while your attention moved to the third girl, otherwise they would have had to put up with your creepy behaviour. And thats what they were talking behind your back: "thank god we got away from him, unfortunately for "Sally" on which he hit on after us, have you seen him staring at her ........".

Hitting on women with BFs is pretty much a deathwarrant in any social group. And it doesnt matter if you think you didnt hit on them..... its all about what they read into your behaviour.


On one of the rare occasions i couldnt help but find myself in a social circle-party in one of the other couples apartment, there was that one guy....... he was the only single male.

First he told the girl living in the party location to cover up her cleavage or he would bite into it. Next woman he was "testing" was my girlfriend, after that he came up to me with a "casual" conversation about what i would do to "a man" if he "grabbed" my girl from me.
An hour and a few drinks later he tried it again "ha, iam gonna steal your GF now"...... after which i told him "i dont think so" and stared him down like Clint Eastwood would have done.

Man that guy was never seen again anywhere near to one of the present people.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

Bad publicity is good publicity

 

[CollegeMan22]

A bit of an update: I messaged the girl who's running the party that it's up to her to invite me and that I'll probably be busy on that Saturday. She said "Thanks for understanding" which amounts to "F*ck off" in woman3se. I haven't talked to anyone in the social circle or asked them what happened because I don't care. I have my own individual friends that are much better.

 

[Barrister]

So I was at a house party a week ago and was having a good time and drinking. I wasn't heavily drunk, but definitely enough to get my game gears into overdrive. I was teasing girls and giving them a hard time. They were touching me and hitting my backward cap off.

Then I went to the couch and there were 2 girls sitting there. There was another girl standing. I was testing the 2 girls on the couch, both of which had BFs, asking if they did sports. They said they played badminton. Then I asked if they were winners or losers. They said losers. I pulled in standing friend and asked her too. She seemed pretty emotional and said "yeah, I'm a winner!". I proceeded to keep hard teasing her. We made heavy eye contact several times, after which I would move my arm to make her blink, telling her "you lose!". She was having a good time. One time we had a staring contest for 20 seconds and at the end she tried to make me blink but I was super stoic and didn't move a muscle. She was pretty surprised about that.

I didn't think I would pull her, but I just enjoy teasing girls. It was a fun time. When she left, I was facing away from her. She punched me in the arm and said "Aren't you going to say bye?". So she must have enjoyed my teasing.

So now it's a week later, and I hear there is a party next Saturday. But then my friend who let that slip out is immediately silent and doesn't give me any info. I see the girl in the hallway who's hosting it (I've gone out with her and kissed before) and I asked if I could come. She says "Oh, but will you hit on girls again?! There's my younger friends there and I don't want that happening". It seems like the girl crew gossiped and now they "know" about me. I didn't get to talk to her about it much more because she had class immediately after I saw her.

What's the best move here? What should I tell the host who doesn't want me hitting on girls?

OP,

A couple of thoughts:

1. Hitting on women in your own social circle can easily backfire. I think you are seeing that. And the thing is, these women are never going to stop you in the moment. Women love validation. They aren't stupid either. They know you are testing them out to see if there is interest there and they are enjoying taking the bait. The men probably don't appreciate this (assuming they were at the party) even if they don't outwardly say anything. They all go back home and immediately begin complaining to the girls, the girls complain to each other, etc. And suddenly you are "that guy" in the group that people enjoy but are wary of. I have had this experience in a social group before and it isn't pleasant. Like others have said, keep it platonic in the social circle unless it is such low hanging fruit that you have to take it.

2. Despite what I said in "1" - "any press is good press" as they say. I have had the player reputation myself and it is a double edged sword. You just experienced the negative aspect of it. But you also will get these women secretly wanting you even if they outwardly act like they can't be in the same room with you (because reputation and all). The higher your player status, the more women want you. You will, over time, increase your chances to get lays if you have this reputation.

The key is, of course, a healthy balance here so you don't lose your social circle but also that you aren't seen as "safe" and boring. Right now, your best move is to tell the host you didn't realize it was a problem and say nothing more (don't say you will go and not hit on girls and don't say you aren't going either - leave it open ended). In meantime, find something else to do during that time. Preferably fuking a hot chick.

 

[Solomon]

Apologize to the host. Limit yourself to two drinks. And stop hitting on all the girls. Sounds like you don’t know how to read a room.

^^It could be this, I know guys who get super aggressive and it makes girls uncomfortable. They get a bad rep, I use to be in a social circle with a guy like that the only reason why people put up with it is cause the guy was rich (which tells you they don't have any morals hence i went ghost)

I dont get it. You go to a party, you teased some girls a little, have a good time and suddenly you are "that guy" who "hits" on all girls and they dont want to invite you to parties.

F0ck them, they are not your friends. This is borderline alpha-ashaming, trying to turn you into a blue pill feminist beta simp. Spend your time somewhere else.

Or could be this

One thing is clear they are not your friends and don't like you, find new friends and learn to tone it down
In a club or bar you can do all that but in a social circle guard your reputation at all cost, it's very easy to ruin it

 

[jaymbrs]

Not a good advice man. I can not afford to host my own Parties. Does that means I am condemned to not getting laid? Of course not. Hosting a party requires money and we do not seduce with money on here as much as it is within the limitations of not having it.

Just because you cant do it, doesnt mean it's not good advice.

 

[The Diver]

I messaged the girl who's running the party that it's up to her to invite me and that I'll probably be busy on that Saturday

That's ^^^ funny as F: You can't reject an invitation you haven't received.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What if he's just using the social circle for sourcing easy lays? They're not his true social circle, more like an acquaintance circle that he doesn't care about? Like the quote indicates?

He isn't getting easy lays obviously from it and he is alienating himself from potential lays with his socially out of time behavior.

Social tact means something still no matter how much people want to pretend it doesn't.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's ^^^ funny as F: You can't reject an invitation you haven't received.

Talk about socially inept. That is cringe inducing.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

A bit of an update: I messaged the girl who's running the party that it's up to her to invite me and that I'll probably be busy on that Saturday. She said "Thanks for understanding" which amounts to "F*ck off" in woman3se. I haven't talked to anyone in the social circle or asked them what happened because I don't care. I have my own individual friends that are much better.

Obviously you do care or you wouldn't have messaged her. This is mind blowingly socially inept on your part. I have no words.

 

[Barrister]

What if he's just using the social circle for sourcing easy lays? They're not his true social circle, more like an acquaintance circle that he doesn't care about? Like the quote indicates?

At the end of the day it isn't worth it. Your social circle is a valuable tool in that it offers social proof. You stand to gain more women from having high social proof and looking elsewhere than you do trying to mack on the 1-2 attractive females in your social circle. And if you end up becoming a pariah as "that guy" - it is really difficult to shake that rep. It takes time and in the meantime it can hinder you with other women.

I actually experienced this a long time ago when I was in law school. Not a good experience and it took awhile before I wasn't radioactive anymore socially.

 

[lgbs2004]

In a club or bar you can do all that but in a social circle guard your reputation at all cost, it's very easy to ruin it

Why? As a man, he can do whatever the fock he wants.

Probably, one of the guys at the party got jealous and bad-mouthed him to the rest.

It's better to be seen as a sleazy player than a beta loser!