NorwegianDJ's journal of personal growth

NorwegianDJ

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Thinking

MrP said:
Read it, it seemed good. Can't go down own her tho. and you have to fix the link.
So yeah, I've been quite busy lately. HB Cloud (I feel that name is getting odd, but it fits) came over again on sunday, fun times, fun times. I still suck in bed. My dad seriously walked straight past my HUGE window while we were doing it. He didn't see us tho, so I went over and closed them. She was turned off after that. I tryed the "come here" motion, OMG. Sh1t is intense. I got bitemarks (bruises) on both of my shoulders and neck. Just sayin'
I gotta admit I love cuddling. She doesn't want to get feelings for me etc, but I handled it good. Really went from her saying that we can't see eachother anymore to her coming over during this week.
I really had some funny **** to tell, but I forgot. I think this post is gonna be more about some recent thinking that I've done.

I don't get the point in keeping this journal anymore... I can't see how this will help me. I won't be able to see how I have progressed from reading blurry information on how I get one girl, or what grades I get, or how much I lift, which I already have a journal for. I think this just boost my ego. Why wouldn't it? I'm telling succes stories and ****, for random people on an internet forum. Look at HPRJ, he is insane with girls, but he's got a huge ego. Look at his journal, it's insane, but it doesn't really help him much at all; only boosts his ego.
So I might stop posting here, maybe I'll give some updates at times. I don't see how people can get inspired either.
Journals are for motivation. That's it. But motivation for what? Getting girls? Doing well in school? I don't need this for that.

On a different note, I've done a lot of different thinking lately, some realizations, but mostly things I know, or maybe it's small blindspots being filled.
This is gonna be messy. I might write this during the afternoon, or just straight away. There will be no order and really just a lot of stuff in my mind.
I'm over halfway on dvd 3 of the blueprint, it finally starts going deep and telling me some new stuff. Really, in the end it's not about doing this and saying that, it's about being. You wouldn't think that RSD; how you get women, would have anything to do with spiritual stuff would you? The Power of Now, by Tolle is what I'm specifically refering to. The blueprint approaches the same topics. It's all about finding yourself, be congruent with your core... Living in the moment, let the present control the past and handle the future when it comes your way. Being present doesn't mean to sit home and play computer games, because thats the best short-term fun you have available. It means doing whatever you need to do with dedication, to be present, to fully concentrate on what you are doing and do it properly. I don't even know If I'm fully in the moment, but right now I am. I don't know how to stay there. Atleast when I recognize that I'm not present; I am present.

Really, this pick-up stuff can get you off on the wrong foot if you don't watch out. You basicly change your reality and do what a dude tells you gets you women. You feel that you have to go into pick-up mode to get women. You need good clothes. You feel that it's not you to be sexual. This is true, to some extent. The "You" that Im talking about here is your ego, your socially conditioned self. It is only when you connect with your inner self, your real self; cause your ego has formed a second self in you. This is the way to real confidence. I'm not quite sure how to explain how you get there yet. It basicly involves you own goals and values. Achieve it. Don't you ever think about yourself in 3rd person? I find myself doing it a lot. I don't know if this has anything to do with what I just explained, but I think it does. If I look at myself in a mirror, I talk to him, not me; but it seems normal (cause I am talking to my other self(?)).
Girls. I finally realized that they don't matter for your confidence and succes, all of that. They are simply fun, amusing and that stuff. They are entertainment, but saying that is wrong. They are great and all, BUT THEY WILL NOT MOVE YOU ANYWHERE CLOSER TO YOUR GOALS. Unless if you have a goal to **** as many as possible. Can you tell me what kind of goal that is? That's right, it's an ego-boosting goal. It's counter-intutive. Exactly what happens to many who get good with women; they start seeing that, and define (in lack of a better word) a part of their sense of self on that. Eventually, they will not get any women, and now they HAVE to get a girl, because they always do that. Now they are outcome dependent. Their ego screws them over. Do not define yourself by external factors. I sounds valid.

Thinking about it, society really has made an AFC breeding-ground. Endless mental-stimulation, ego stimulating things everywhere, no need to step out of your comfort-zone. Just live the perfect life. Get an education, work and earn money, so you can retire at 60. Then you finally die at the age of 80, and realize that you fcking wasted your life; but they don't tell you that. Don't get me wrong, society is great, but you have to make it work for you.

Money, looks.. Romance,, clothes, all of it. LIMITING BELIEFS. How do you know it matters? Tyler claims that it all is bull****, I agree, to an extent. Romance, of course is an obvious failure. Money made sense when he explained it. You turn into a provider instead of a lover. Of course there are amalies (or whatever way you type it, a small % of people) who like money and stuff like that. But looks.. I honestly disagree with him. I don't know how it is for adults, but he makes sense. As looks change with time. A hot guy or girl isn't the same now as in the 60s. Go figure. But teenagers... I don't know what it is, but I've come up with a plausible theory. I think that, like social conditioning, they have been told to love hot guys from all angles. All girls at my age cares about looks. It can have something to do with value too, as being seen with someone hot will give you more social value; which are girls #1 priority. Not that it's really much harder for someone with average looks. But I think it's a must not to be fat in highschool. I partly take that back tho, cause I knew a really cool kid back in norway, he was dating one of the hottest chicks in town for a year. Long story really, doesn't fit in here. /Thinking session over.
Don't be scared to reply, it's just a frikkin' forum.
 
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MrP

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Up in there.
DJ_Hero said:
I say keep the journal going, maybe just include social interactions or focus just on writing stuff that's happened with girls. I can't find the quote right now but I remember Pook saying something about the benefits of keeping a journal so you can look back at your old self occasionally to see how much you've changed.

It's great to see you're figuring this all out, bro. We are very, very lucky (some might think unlucky because it may cause you to overthink) at being exposed to all the stuff of this site and from RSD. Some guys only found it in their thirties and it's changed their life immensely. I just know my life is going to be fucking awesome as a result of all this.

And yeah, about the whole looks thing, I'm a bit skeptical aswell. Some girls I know are fucking in love with guys that never even spoke to, it's crazy! Tyler says looks don't matter at all but I have to disagree, it can really help to get a foot in the door with a girl. After that initial meeting though, I don't think looks matter that much unless you're absolutely hideous.
One thing I learned after The Blueprint is that if you over-analyze everything as being caused by your ego it can really mess you up. You should keep the journal going. Posting what you have accomplished is not feeding your ego unless your exaggerating or too reactive to what people say back. Just do this to keep track of your journey and not lose sight of your goals.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Yeah, you both make good points. I'll just change the format of the journal. I'll make it a bit less personal, bit more detailed on my game and stuff that actually helps when you look back at it.
Sosuave definately changed my life. I know that. But I know myself that I don't overthink, I'll post it here whenever I do it. I think that is one of the advantages I have. Situational confidence, what I think I wrote something about in the start of MrP's journal.. Could be another journal. Anyways, when I'm with one girl, I'm very present and outside my head. But in school, I'm a lot more in my head, but slowly improving.
I'm recalling back to the first party I was on here in SA, man, I've never been more outside my head. That's the party I met HB Cloud at.

It was supposed to be about 300-400 people showing up, but it was far away from where most people hang out, so only ~150 showed up. In the beginning I was very much in my head. I would be with the few people I knew and partly participate in the convo's. After a while, as more people arrived, I started greeting them and socializing. This is the first time I had alcohol really, drunk 3 glasses of punch. Equals about 2 shots I think. Eventually I greet this guy and he introduces me to his group of chicks. (Was about to write female chicks haha). Only 1-2 were 7s, so I just pumped my state a bit with them and just fluff talked. Made statements. I love to make people guess where I'm from, and then I give them a hug (reward) when they finally guess it. I tend to tease them a bit too for failing to know where it is. So eventually we go inside. I'm having a hard time recalling the sequence of events here... Maybe I was a bit tipsy. I remember seeing a chick walking around with her two guy friends, and thinking that she was hot. Her guy friends are actually really cool!
I started walking around and aproaching different groups of people, I pretty much spent almost all the party doing this. AA was completely gone. I honestly can't remember how I hit state. I think the alcohol helped, but only to keep me a bit outside my head (aproach anxiety). I see the hot girl again, but now she's with her 9th grade friends. 4 of them. I think thats when I first talked to them. I remember nothing of what is said. But pretty much the first things I talked to everyone about was which schools, country etc. Just expand from there. I eventually extract the hot one somehow. I figured out her name, which was HB Cloud. She describes me at that party as "Coming out of nowhere, being everywhere and when she for some reason didn't see me for a long time, she got mad." Go figure. I remember talking to this cool black dude, with HB Cloud. I understood about half the things he said. I hate accents, mostly. This might also be the first time I talked to HB Cloud... I remember holding her around the waist by both hands, and he asked if we were BF/GF. I instantly replied with "No, we're married, for 7 years. And we have a son. But we can share her, She's totally into that stuff!" They cracked up.
To be honest, my verbal game was NOTHING, it didn't even matter. Tyler said something about, when you have high value, it doesn't matter what you say, vice versa.

After this I jumped from group to group, just socializing. I was so in state that when I walked around, I would scream like a wolf. When I talked to them, it was mostly statements and stupid **** I said. I gave hugs instantly, just thinking **** you, "kino escalation". I remember seeing a dude I know from school, standing by the fence with a group of 5 chicks. I walked up to them, the chicks not seeing me. I put my shoulder under the ass of the one who seemed hottest and picked her up. They were all like "WTF!?". With a non-serious voice I said "I am gonna rape you now". I literally carried her to a house, and decided that I shouldn't. Would probably been a good close, they were laughting their asses off.

I danced quite a bit too. I suck, but I've learnt that it doesn't matter so much, as long as your not in your head. I'm gonna learn how to dance tho. Danced with some chicks, but they were boring, so I danced with everyone really. Dub-step btw. I remember the world cup music dub-step version playing, turning around and seeing HB Cloud making out with a random dude. For some reason I went completely out of state. Like seriously, I just felt all the energy just draw out of my body. I went outside and almost fell asleep in the wet grass. Recovered to normal state later and just chilled with people, was kinda boring after this. Got some numbers.

So I hope that someone learned from that. I tryed to write about game-specific things and stuff like that. Maybe I can look back and remember how I got into state etc by looking at this, cause I keep forgetting more of it by the day. But I weren't drunk or anything, nor dizzy.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Today's leg workout was a little failure. Started of squatting and feeling a pain in my knee. I got some help and figured I were doing them wrong. I did my sets with light weight (45 kg) and tryed to find a good form, which I believe I almost did in the end. Either feeling it too much in my knees or back, I'm getting ther. Deadlifts.. I hate deadlifts. I don't feel much in my hamstrings, I feel it in my knees afterwards, and my forearms aren't strong enough to do more than 2 reps with more than ~60 kg. But I still have to do them, I guess they are still valid. I might be doing them wrong. I've been lucky to not have injured myself more and gained so much with such poor form. I thought I had good form. Thank god for the supersets, as my legs are DONE after them. If any of you are doing calf-raises and not doing strip-sets: DO IT. Strip-sets are a must on calf-rises. Still figuring out form on crunches. I find myself getting a bit inconsistent results. I think I got the form down.
On fridays I'm thinking of doing something like:
Bench press, superset flyes.
Squats, superset on that quad machine.
Deadlift(?), superset leg curl.
Bicep curls, superset EZ bar reverse-grip 3x.
Crunches w/5kg.
Sounding good? Also I'm possibly seeing a physio for my rhomboids (It's a muscle, not STD or disease).
 

NorwegianDJ

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Small update, 19th November.

Playing a concert tonight, gonna be fun.
Grades seems to be improving.
Chick flaked. It was an obvious flake, but it's still cool. Not quite sure how to react tho.
I'll go deeper into all of this later.
Weekend is going to be awesome. I'll make it awesome.
 

NorwegianDJ

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MrP said:
How did she flake on you? Did she just not show up?
No, was talking to her on facebook. She asks for directions and that her friend is coming etc. Later I tell her that her friend most likely can't come because they don't sell tickets anymore. She responds saying that she can't come either. She gave a valid reason, but that doesn't matter. I know she flaked, because she asked for directions just 15 minutes earlier, and you don't make plans on the same time as something you've already planned.
I'm pretty sure she did it for some reasons. She doesn't want to get attached and she's shy, hence not coming cause of her friend not getting in.
I hate flakers, but I wouldn't have had a problem with this hadn't it been for me paying for her ticket. I don't know how to handle that aspect of it really. She's kinda poor, so I told her she owed me, but to surprise me.

I'm still figuring out my problems. She will cancel any plans for you if your value is high or higher than her plans. I don't feel like writing really. I'll do it later.

Grades are improving. I think I actually can get above 3.5 GPA. Gotta do homework today, so I can do stuff tomorrow.

Concert was fun. Played well, got some possible prospects going in school, as they now see me in a different way. I suppose I don't have to explain the social dynamics going on here?
Also there was this little, cool 8th grader that wanted my name. I've seen him around before. Talked to him on facebook later. He's kinda odd. It's like your definition of AFC. low self-esteem, want other peoples opinion of him etc. I wanna mentor this kid. Kinda. Atleast show him the blueprint and talk some **** into his head. But on the other hand, I've seen too many friends walk away from this when I show them. They just refuse to accept it. Attacks their ego; their sense of self.

Gonna work out, do homework and go to a 30 seconds to mars concert today. Gonna be fun.
 

Athos

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Dope journal man.

I realized that I hadn't made some clear cut goals in mine and that I need to do that.

It's so awesome you're learning this stuff at 15. Imagine yourself when you're 18 man. ****ing plaaaaayah.
 

AlexLefty

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Athos said:
Dope journal man.

I realized that I hadn't made some clear cut goals in mine and that I need to do that.

It's so awesome you're learning this stuff at 15. Imagine yourself when you're 18 man. ****ing plaaaaayah.
haha yeah lucky bastar d,
I hella wish i learned this sh1t earlier
 

NorwegianDJ

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Athos said:
Dope journal man.

I realized that I hadn't made some clear cut goals in mine and that I need to do that.

It's so awesome you're learning this stuff at 15. Imagine yourself when you're 18 man. ****ing plaaaaayah.
Thanks guys. You guys are still young tho. The shame is that I didn't really act on my knowledge before now. All of us that have been here a while should know that knowledge doesn't alone lead to confidence and results. 1st hand experience is required.

I like the sport analogies; you don't learn to play football by reading about it, figuring out all the techniques and learning the rules. Most people get good in football by playing it. Every day, with trail and error. And best of all, it's fun. Because it's not just about winning, the fun is when you play the game, in the moment. The feeling of accomplishment comes afterwards, when you win. If you lose, you still learned a lot and had fun.

Gotta go, cheers guys! I'd also like to answer ANY questions that anyone might have. I've realized that the journal is mostly for you. It can only help me to an extent. Which means I'm here to help.
 

SPEAK

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Athos said:
Dope journal man.

I realized that I hadn't made some clear cut goals in mine and that I need to do that.

It's so awesome you're learning this stuff at 15. Imagine yourself when you're 18 man. ****ing plaaaaayah.


hell ya man I started this sh1t a year ago last month and I have come so far! Your high school career will be a blast!
 

NorwegianDJ

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SPEAK said:
hell ya man I started this sh1t a year ago last month and I have come so far! Your high school career will be a blast!
You are right about that Speak, you have come immensly far. People that have reached the bottom often do much better when recovering than other people. I suppose you have much more motivation and drive. Your doing well speak. And yes, I hope that it will be. At my current school it certainly won't, just not enough students. I'm hoping to move to USA next year and go to a big school, but the system is so random. You can't even pick your town. You could end up in a tiny farmland in nowhere. I suppose I'm taking that risk. I'm not sure if it's possible, but maybe you can go to a family you know? Would be sick to join one of you guys in USA :D

I have no clear picture of what I'm gonna write about. I'm kinda sick, so I'm tired.

A general update since last time... Not much has happened, exams are coming up, parties are closing in, vacation, fun. I gotta get more friends.
Lets see. HB Cloud has most likely flaked on me. She's not fun to talk to anymore, and stuff. Also she said maybe when I asked her if I could expect her to meet up next time. It's basicly a no. I'm over her, I actually had some feelings for her, but they were just me being kinda needy for a GF.
Still haven't given up on her yet, as I know I can get with her later. Gonna ask her to come watch harry potter with me and some friends on friday, we'll see if she says yes.

I've injured my arm and leg. Was walking to class with a couple of friends of mine, and we were trying to grab ledges(?). Kim tells me to touch one, and I go for it. On my way down we realize that I was gonna land in a hole. It was quite hilarious to be honest.

Wanted to do some corrections on my last posts. I went to a 30 Seconds to Mars concert, it was insane! Sadly, we had seats. Concerts are much more fun if you hit state. I know that I would have if I were in the crowd by the stage, it is so much more intense there. I eventually stand up and go stand in front of all the seats. Much more fun, made people sitting participate, hit like a small state. Good band.

Also, when I said that I never really took action on this knowledge before now, it is true to an extent. At the time, I thought I took action, but in reality, I was just too scared to do ****. I did some of course, when the oportunity presented itself, but never major things. I got confident in my skill when I were alone, but not with people. Over time I evolved past that. I think that in the beginning, it really is about taking those first steps and acting in spite of fear. Acting in spite of fear is always important, but the fear will decrease.
I feel kinda lucky, because when I'm one on one with girls, I often feel completely natural. Situational confidence I suppose.

I've watched to DVD 9 or 10 in the blueprint, it's really good. I've learned a lot of new stuff, but nothing groundbreakingly new. Just deeper.

I like the analogy I posted, I made it up btw.
Today I went to the gym, doing my leg-day. 15 minutes into the workout I felt that I couldn't continue. I was tired, sick and felt hungry, but I kept going. NEVER QUIT. The feeling of quitting is just horrible. Trying feels much better. Accomplishment feels great, especially when working out. I finished all my excercises, with new "records". I now squat 68 kg as my 5RM. I pretty much improve in everything, both due to strength increase and better form.
I gotta recommend working out, just do your research first. I did, and I have now gained 7-8 kg's in 3-4 months.

Run out of things, sorry for my writing style today, I'm tired. I should be studying or something, but I'm gonna laught my ass of reading two step's field reports instead :)
 

NorwegianDJ

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Ah guys, I'm boooooored! I'm sick and have been lurking here all day. I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE HERE, make some noise! Make me laught, you fvckers! :D

Alright, so I thought I should make a post, but I'm too.. lazy and bored to make a proper one. So I decided to add a facebook convo. It's between me and this HB 7. She's practice material and good for spreading social value.

I like to do roleplays on facebook, so last time we talked, se was a gangster and I was a pimp/jigallo. I'm not really good at this, but I can keep the frame.

So, yesterday: H = Her You = Me.

Her
so do u like boys or girls?
[You]
Im a jigallo
[Her]
ur my FAV jigallo :)
btw imma just call u that form now on
[You]
You make me feel like an object :(
You just want my schlong...
Her]
hahah u are one to me
now GET ON UR NEED *****!
haha XD
[You]
You gotta pay 60% first
[Her]
for what?
***** i own YOU! dnt ****ing tell me what to do
[You]
hahhahha
[Her]
get on ur needs and do ur job ur dirty lil ***** <3
[You]
I don't do jobs online
[Her]
well then sumo?
ill give u the money up front

So sumo is a party coming up in a week. I cut out the last part of the convo, quite uninteresting.
Today:
Her
my fav jiggalo!
[You]
Yes, that would be me
How is my favorite soon to be costumer doing?
Her]
haha very good
do u like my states?
check it out
im ( hoping to be ) talking about u HAHAHAH KIDDING!
SKIPPED A FEW LINES
[Her
gay
[You]
your gay
[IHer
i like boys
but i hear u go both ways?
haha
[You]
you must have good connections..
[Her
with boys yes
where r u from?
[You]
I think you are bisexual really. It all makes sense now
[Her
and why do u think that?
[You]
6:18pm
no reason.. Im psychic, I can sense it.
[Her]
o kool
well im not i like boys
obsessed
[You]
Hahahha, you just cant get enough
[Her]
i knoooo :)
[You]
sounds fun
so are you getting satified, or are you sexually frustrated?
[Her]
hahaha
well atm im the second one u said lol
[You]
haha, poor girl
[Her]
i kno :(
but i hope that will change at sumo
lol
but no more randoms lol
sick of them
hbu?
u gana get some ass at sumo?
[You]
I'll see what happens
all the girls just wanna hook up, I just wanna have fun :D
[Her]
hahahhaa ur such a ***** lmfao!
hah
X
[You]
hahah, you dont know anything about that yet!
[Her]
ew?! ahaha XD
[You]
Whaaaaaaat?
[Her]
**VAGINA
[You]
I dont like the word vagina, its too... scientific
we should make a codeword for vagina
[Her]
ogmogmg yes!
[You]
what about...
[Her]
..?
[You]
sheep :D
"I love sheeps"
[Her]
haha kk
whats penis?
[You]
information!
[Her
hhaha ;)
[You]
so.. "you can take in a lot of information at once?"
[Her]
haha sure
lol i g2g bio.... gotta study lol AND FRENCH! **** MY LIFE!!!
byee x
[You]
Exams are a *****
cya x

This post was god damn long. Almost took the whole page. Removed a couple of smilies. I NEVER use that tongue thingy. So I guess I put that up there if anyone wants to see what style I use online and need help with that. Also I'm BORED, REPLY! Lets see if anything new has happened on the Hs forum :)
 

Funk

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Sup NorwegianDJ, i'm new to this forum. I'm going to keep track of this thread cause it seems interesting since i'm around the same age (16).
 

NorwegianDJ

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Funk said:
Sup NorwegianDJ, i'm new to this forum. I'm going to keep track of this thread cause it seems interesting since i'm around the same age (16).
Cool man. There's quite a few journals here, and most of us are around the same age. Feel free to stalk them.
I suggest that you read the DJ bible on the bottom left of the page, as it is essential reading for newbies, or everyone really. But it's basic. If you wanna go deeper, then check out DJ_Hero's sig. If you wanna go really deep, then get the blueprint de-coded. And go out and apply of course, cause confidence isn't gained purely on knowledge, 1st hand experience is required.
 

Funk

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NorwegianDJ said:
Cool man. There's quite a few journals here, and most of us are around the same age. Feel free to stalk them.
I suggest that you read the DJ bible on the bottom left of the page, as it is essential reading for newbies, or everyone really. But it's basic. If you wanna go deeper, then check out DJ_Hero's sig. If you wanna go really deep, then get the blueprint de-coded. And go out and apply of course, cause confidence isn't gained purely on knowledge, 1st hand experience is required.
I've read most of the important stuff i need to know in the DJ Bible, and i'm watching blueprint de-coded also. I'm thinking about starting a bootcamp next week when i'm ready.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Funk said:
I've read most of the important stuff i need to know in the DJ Bible, and i'm watching blueprint de-coded also. I'm thinking about starting a bootcamp next week when i'm ready.
That's good, ask any questions you have.


So my weekend has been relaxing. Didn't do much at all. Did some homework, studied (very little), watched the blueprint etc. Been sick.
Was planning to go watch harry potter on friday, but not surprisingly people flaked. SA has to be a contry of flakes. Cornflakes. I'm cereal guys, super cereal.
As for HB Cloud, she is completely out of the picture, she has been on the edge for quite a while.
Went to watch RED (Retired Extremely Dangerous) with my parents instead, fun movie.

I'm halfway through dvd 17 now, much good stuff is popping up. Getting some a-ha moments. I can finally see some of this in real life. People are looking for external validation all the time! It's sad. I've seen people letting almost strangers decide upon their identity.
I really like what he says about self-fulfilling prophecies, it is so TRUE. He really explains and put Pooks "As you think, you shall become" to life. Good stuff.

Exams are starting tomorrow, so I wont post much. I would have posted more if it wasn't for that damn 10 post per 1440 minute rule.

Lots of parties coming up, I'm gonna dominate them, atleast the ones I'm allowed to go to. I fully trust my ability to have fun and get girls at parties. It's like I draw state from the environment, and suddenly I'm the "cool guy". Alcohol helps this too, but I don't want to rely on it.
First party is this friday. I will achieve greatness. I'm gonna try the "challenges". Atleast the spinhug, thumbwar, slaps to makeout. It's all about starting out without sexual intent. At parties like this (~300) and less, the chicks will recognize you. So you just start out socializing and GIVING tons of value. Be fun, positive, high energy and everywhere! Of course you kino and flirt, but don't go for makeouts unless you can correctly calibrate and recognize that she is ready for it. After a while this gets easy, cause the social proof will do it's work, and girls are there to hook up. Of course you have to take ACTION, lead, escalate, isolate and escalate.
I'm gonna put this to action on friday, FR will be here.
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
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My story

BPH said:
I'm around your age and I read a few entries of your journal...

My question is how you started achieving this? Because unlike you I'm still a virgin and haven't been to any high school parties.
Aah man. I wouldn't have expected such a question. I guess I have accomplishments. How I got here huh? Long story bro. So let's see what we can find here...
It wasn't like I was a social freak, but I wasn't on the top of the food chain. I was that guy that was just there. At times I were fun, at times I were picked on. I really didn't have a harsh childhood at all. Had a few people I considered good friends, being with people in school, etc. But I were bullied a bit. I had a weak reality and people knew that they could mess with me, and I never really had much respect. I also had a real GIRLY voice. People used to ask if this was my sister when I answered the phone. I still to this day remember this cool guy telling me that I would need two "voice-changes" to get a normal voice. Surprisingly I have a real dark(?) (kinda low) voice now, huge adamsapple(?).

Soo.. After 7th grade I met this chick that I had been talking to on MSN. The fun part is that I had no idea it was her, I thought I had never seen her before. It was at a family birthday party. Yeah you guessed it, this girl is like my cousin or whatever it's called. She's like the daughter of the sister of my older brother's wife, so it's not real family. So at the gathering, I'm just having tons of fun, playing with her older brother and shooting the sh1t. I've always been good with kids, so I were having fun with the kids. I remember caring about what she tought, so at times I tried to act cool. She was like a 7.. 6.5 btw. Nice boobs and body tho. I remember throwing water balloons or something on her. It was fun really.
To make it short, she contacted me on MSN later, I had no idea it was her untill later. We like fell in "love" over MSN and I finally met her and she was my GF for 2 months. We didn't do much, not so much making out. She sucked anyways.

8th grade commenced and it was pretty much the same over again. I started having more respect though, but a few kids would boss with me. There was this one jerk that had good "confidence", but he relied on validations. He's probably the most fake dude I know. Got in some huge drama sh1t with him, clearly made me a bit thougher. So I now had some haters at school. I think it was at about this time that I found SS. I decided to google something like "How to get girls".

Upon finding SS, I just SOAKED in the information. I read EVERYTHING. I stayed on the computer about 2-3 hours a day, reading all the material. I read all the posts on the main forum, all the fvcking HORRIBLE articles on the main site etc. Eventually I found Pook and fingers. They had really good advice. I remember reading Sammo's post and other motivational stuff and thinking that I'm gonna be the sh1t. I was gonna get women and stuff, but just not right now. Maybe later you know. The motivation wore off as soon as I stepped outside the house.

I continued living my life almost as usual. Being a newbie, I started using some of the "material". In way's that weren't "dangerous" of course. I started focusing on eye contact, body language and what I were saying. It's good to internalize this, so I guess I would recommend to do it, but do other stuff too. Girls didn't really act different towards me, they all liked me, but I was a friend of course. I didn't act through my own intentions etc. I remember thinking I was such a DJ and sh1t. I started to like this girl in my class, and I was afraid to even speak to her! My sister of course told me to "just be nice to her". Smart girls eh?

I continued reading on SS, but it's all the bad stuff. All the ego satisfying things. I read pick up lines, routines, what to do when this and that happened. All the useless sh1t. The trouble is that I have no idea when I "flicked the switch"... I think what happened is that I took some action. I don't remember what, but I think I did very small things every day, kinda. It's all about taking that action and acting despite of fear.
It didn't happen just like that though. It was a time process. I SLOWLY gained confidence.

There is a piece missing here, somewhere along this and the next part I learned to be indifferent, and positive. Maybe I read it.
Of course I didn't do it. I was positive though.
I eventually changed schools, because my school was so boring. My new school was much smaller, but it was more challenging. The IB system.
About 4 months later I remember going to this "teenclub" in town, it's a small place by the way. I think I were doing the bootcamp. You can probably check my posts and find it there. It was like week 2, where you say hi to 20 people.
Anyways, I walk there with my 2 friends, and I managed to get myself AMPED for this. We start talking to people on our way there, and I make it a point to introduce myself to everyone. It just snowballed. I started talking to everyone, introducing myself all over the place. We managed to get a group of like 10 girls sitting by our table, and I were sitting on it. I remember a girl just directly telling me "I got a boyfriend" in a pissed tone. I answered immediately with something I'd read on SS like "Doesn't he allow you to socialize?" It was a no-goer though.
I continued introducing myself to everyone, just standing by the door, greeting people. It didn't take long before I was know all over the place. Girls started getting interested, feeling my abs and sh1t. I loved it of course, but my game wasn't that good. Keep in mind that I was in STATE. Even though it was my first time, everyone has good game when in state. I even had 2 girls making out in front of me. I was scared to escalate though, so I didn't get anywhere.
I learned very much this night.

Fast forward to february, and I'm on a lock-in. Again - party, and taking action. If your smart, then you know why I'm so comfortable on parties and not so much on other places right now.
So It's this huge thing and I'm having a good time. I'm self-concious though, and it kinda ruins my night. At like 3 AM I finally make myself go on the dancefloor with my friends. It was filled with hotties. In the beginning I'm very self-concious, cause I SUCK at dancing. This chick sets me up with her friend, and I go at it. I fail and keep dancing. I finally hit state after hopping around like a maniac with my friends. I start dancing by myself and it actually goes really well. I dance with some chicks and stuff.
Then, suddenly she's there. The perfect 10. She starts dancing with me, and I'm like "OMGTHISISINSANE!!" I remember thinking that I had to remember this because it was so out of my reality. I start getting a bit self-concious again, and we stop dancing after a song or two. I keep dancing really good after this, basic stuff.

What I learned from that is that it's all about having fun and the mindset. If you are in state, everything is cool.

There isn't much I can think of after this. I take some chances in public etc, I'm not afraid to make a fool of myself sometimes, it all depends on my mood. In this period I had a lot of chicks I had a "thing" with, but it never got anywhere. I had now got my kino skills polished. Again, just don't think about doing it, just do it.
However I'm not able to get with ANY of the chicks I'm with, and there were quite a few. I missed tons of opportunities to get laid etc. I didn't even kiss any of them. ---A great way to go for kisses are by saying "I really wanna kiss you right now." Of course it must fit, but it's good. Of course its mostly better to just kiss her.

I learnt that I wasn't acting through my own intentions, so I weren't sexual at all. One of the key differences between success and "failure". Also I were afraid of making a move. One thing that has happened to me so many times that it almost makes me cry is that I didn't make a move. I waited too long, thinking I had the situation completely in control. It doesn't matter how much control you have, the girl will leave. I learned the hard way. Rejection is ALWAYS better than regret guys.

Summer vacation rolls around, I pretty much do what is written above. I've gained more confidence now. I remember once grabbing a girl by the hand, and she being receptive, even though I thought she was out of my league (looks). The only league there is is your level of "game". How centered you are. Pure self-esteem.

I moved to South-Africa. I'm quite the confident guy in the right setting.
I start school and stuff, feel a bit alienated. I find my group that I hang out with in school. I'm never really a part of the group, I'm kinda just there. Even now, but I'm getting there. I also know the whole school and have more friends.
I started working out. I had been researching weightlifting and that stuff for a few months now, and had decided to do this. DO IT!

The real gamechanger was for about 2 months ago. I had a really motivational moment and decided it was time for change. I have followed it up, but not as hard as I wished I did. I think I need some friends that I can do it with, it's easier. Some activation energy.
The rest is really in this thread. I stepped up on that party, hit state and stuff went real well.

Continued ---->
 
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