No, we can't just be friends!
- Thread starter Angstrom
- Start date
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
Even then the woman you might want to have sex with may have friends you may want to have sex with and who may want to have sex with you...
This discussion has made me think.
I've had some female friends in the past. Even though they werent all very goodlooking, if they asked me, I would surely have sex with them. Because I thought i could have sex with them wasn't the main reason for these friendships. I was a bit lonely back then and I needed some companionship. When I became more and more popular I spended less and less time with my female friends, and eventually, I stopped seeing them.
This happened because going out with male friends is way more fun and it feels better talking to them because they are of the same gender.
I see loads of friendships between genders where the woman, or the man feels more for the other. I see a lot of guys going out with their female friends just because they hope to bone her someday. But I see some male-female friendships that work out quite well.
I guess someones friendship with a girl is okay if you can be sure of 2 things:
1) I would say no if she asks me to have sex with her.
2) She's not physically interested in me.
I've had some female friends in the past. Even though they werent all very goodlooking, if they asked me, I would surely have sex with them. Because I thought i could have sex with them wasn't the main reason for these friendships. I was a bit lonely back then and I needed some companionship. When I became more and more popular I spended less and less time with my female friends, and eventually, I stopped seeing them.
This happened because going out with male friends is way more fun and it feels better talking to them because they are of the same gender.
I see loads of friendships between genders where the woman, or the man feels more for the other. I see a lot of guys going out with their female friends just because they hope to bone her someday. But I see some male-female friendships that work out quite well.
I guess someones friendship with a girl is okay if you can be sure of 2 things:
1) I would say no if she asks me to have sex with her.
2) She's not physically interested in me.
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
If u want be friends with a woman and dont want to have sex with her for whatever reason then make sure one your friends has f*cked her first
jakeyboy
Master Don Juan
-claps- well said mate.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
Evolution of the RAFC to DJ
First comes the AFC who pines for the female friend who is not interested. After hanging out with her and listening to her stories of jerks she's been dealing with, he finally gets the nerve to try to date her but, alas, she is not interested: "I hate to ruin our friendship," she says.
As the guy starts to recover from his AFC condition, he will have none of that: "sorry, but our friendship is ruined," he angily says to her. She's a bit sad for losing a friend, but doesn't feel any great loss... after all, her heart is elsewhere. The guy overcompensates fo his wussy ways and becomes a bit of a jerk: he starts getting laid more, but also is disliked by many women for being such an azzhole at times.
Then, sometime in the not too distant future, the guy finally finds his groove: he no longer has difficulty getting dates or getting laid -- it's just a matter of choices to make, between bachelorette #1 and bachelorette #2, and the quality of all the bachelorettes continues to increase. He settles down a bit, and is truly unfazed by the whims of the women he deals with. He takes no crap, but doesn't lash out, either. "It's your loss" is implicit when he calmly, but firmly nexts a gal who gets out of line. He develops precision-grade interest level detection ability every bit as powerful as a sought-after woman's wuss detection ability.
At that point, "LJBF" is not an issue. He knows even the Don Juan of all Don Juans will not be desired by all women. If he sees that a woman is not available or not attracted to him, he can usually see that before wasting his energy on her, and makes his own decision as to whether or not she is a good friend for him based upon what he wants in a friend. The Don Juan no longer has to say "no, we cannot just be friends."
First comes the AFC who pines for the female friend who is not interested. After hanging out with her and listening to her stories of jerks she's been dealing with, he finally gets the nerve to try to date her but, alas, she is not interested: "I hate to ruin our friendship," she says.
As the guy starts to recover from his AFC condition, he will have none of that: "sorry, but our friendship is ruined," he angily says to her. She's a bit sad for losing a friend, but doesn't feel any great loss... after all, her heart is elsewhere. The guy overcompensates fo his wussy ways and becomes a bit of a jerk: he starts getting laid more, but also is disliked by many women for being such an azzhole at times.
Then, sometime in the not too distant future, the guy finally finds his groove: he no longer has difficulty getting dates or getting laid -- it's just a matter of choices to make, between bachelorette #1 and bachelorette #2, and the quality of all the bachelorettes continues to increase. He settles down a bit, and is truly unfazed by the whims of the women he deals with. He takes no crap, but doesn't lash out, either. "It's your loss" is implicit when he calmly, but firmly nexts a gal who gets out of line. He develops precision-grade interest level detection ability every bit as powerful as a sought-after woman's wuss detection ability.
At that point, "LJBF" is not an issue. He knows even the Don Juan of all Don Juans will not be desired by all women. If he sees that a woman is not available or not attracted to him, he can usually see that before wasting his energy on her, and makes his own decision as to whether or not she is a good friend for him based upon what he wants in a friend. The Don Juan no longer has to say "no, we cannot just be friends."
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dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
"The only woman you should ever be friends with is your girlfriend.
If you're already friends with a woman, either date her or don't talk to her anymore unless you're a masochist."
Im sorry but I just dont understand this train of thought. Would anyone care to clarify?
If you're already friends with a woman, either date her or don't talk to her anymore unless you're a masochist."
Im sorry but I just dont understand this train of thought. Would anyone care to clarify?
jakeyboy
Master Don Juan
dearsappho
what the guy means, or how i interpret it as
"The only woman you should ever be friends with is your girlfriend.
you seduce her first, (note that you were never really considered friends), when she proves her worth to you, and you guys are in a relationship, you can let your guard down and share things you normally would with a friend.
If you're already friends with a woman, either date her or don't talk to her anymore unless you're a masochist."
when you are attracted to a woman, and you didnt make your intentions known, she thinks you're just a friend, you shouldn't let yourself get hurt by continuing to be her friend. either try to date her, or if she LJBFs you then tell her "sorry, i've got enough friends" then walk away.
its no use being a woman's friend when you're attracted to her. it hurts.
hope i've managed to answer your question mate.
what the guy means, or how i interpret it as
"The only woman you should ever be friends with is your girlfriend.
you seduce her first, (note that you were never really considered friends), when she proves her worth to you, and you guys are in a relationship, you can let your guard down and share things you normally would with a friend.
If you're already friends with a woman, either date her or don't talk to her anymore unless you're a masochist."
when you are attracted to a woman, and you didnt make your intentions known, she thinks you're just a friend, you shouldn't let yourself get hurt by continuing to be her friend. either try to date her, or if she LJBFs you then tell her "sorry, i've got enough friends" then walk away.
its no use being a woman's friend when you're attracted to her. it hurts.
hope i've managed to answer your question mate.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
Another way to look at it
But you're both losing if she would truly make a good friend.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
Another way to look at it
But -- even looking at it from a purely cynical, self-interested point of view -- aren't the absolute best men the ones with the most attractive female friends?
After all, who but the man who gets enough action to be satisfied wouldn't be bothered?
Is it not easy for a man who's stuffed with pizza to ignore a plate of fresh hot nachos?
Food for thought...
If you can't handle it, then by all means keep your distance.
But -- even looking at it from a purely cynical, self-interested point of view -- aren't the absolute best men the ones with the most attractive female friends?
After all, who but the man who gets enough action to be satisfied wouldn't be bothered?
Is it not easy for a man who's stuffed with pizza to ignore a plate of fresh hot nachos?
Food for thought...
interesting thought bonhomme!
although, i do admit it hurts. he has a point. its good to have a lot of female friends .. attractive ones, but that can often turn into trouble.
they get drunk.. hence tey get honry, something happens. n then you're ****ed. its happened to me ..lol
its just personal pref i guess. g00d point.
cheers
although, i do admit it hurts. he has a point. its good to have a lot of female friends .. attractive ones, but that can often turn into trouble.
they get drunk.. hence tey get honry, something happens. n then you're ****ed. its happened to me ..lol
its just personal pref i guess. g00d point.
cheers
interesting thought bonhomme!
although, i do admit it hurts. he has a point. its good to have a lot of female friends .. attractive ones, but that can often turn into trouble.
they get drunk.. hence tey get honry, something happens. n then you're ****ed. its happened to me ..lol
its just personal pref i guess. g00d point.
cheers
although, i do admit it hurts. he has a point. its good to have a lot of female friends .. attractive ones, but that can often turn into trouble.
they get drunk.. hence tey get honry, something happens. n then you're ****ed. its happened to me ..lol
its just personal pref i guess. g00d point.
cheers
Lover or aquaintence...
Lover or aquaintence...
Think of woman friends this way. If you are already involved a woman, how easy is it to be just friends with another. You know hanging out ,talking, going places.
More chances than not , your already girlfriend will be pissed off if she found out.Women are very territorial about their men. And anyway this friend already knowing you're involved with someone else will probably make a play for you without you even caring. Its all about getting what you can't have. I look at women as a lover or an aquaintence. There is nothing wrong with having one of those because in essence you're always being a gentleman to all women that deserve it. So don't waste your time on something thats a waste of time. Go out with as many as you can and you choose the best one. Remember we are the good catch and a good catch is hard to find.'
Lover or aquaintence...
Think of woman friends this way. If you are already involved a woman, how easy is it to be just friends with another. You know hanging out ,talking, going places.
More chances than not , your already girlfriend will be pissed off if she found out.Women are very territorial about their men. And anyway this friend already knowing you're involved with someone else will probably make a play for you without you even caring. Its all about getting what you can't have. I look at women as a lover or an aquaintence. There is nothing wrong with having one of those because in essence you're always being a gentleman to all women that deserve it. So don't waste your time on something thats a waste of time. Go out with as many as you can and you choose the best one. Remember we are the good catch and a good catch is hard to find.'
disciple
Senior Don Juan
The funny thing is that Angstrom is right about the qualities of a friend and a girlfriend.
The qualities that you want for each are virtually the same in terms of personality and the only difference is that with the girlfriend there is the sexual attraction part of it.
I only have casual friendships with women (workplace, school, etc.) and I even though we may only be friends, I never allow myself to become one of their "girlfriends".
You guys know what I mean.
I don't let them sit and tell me their problems all day or how some other guy is doing them wrong or bash all men in my presence or any of that sh*t.
The reason most men can't just be friends with a woman (especially an attractive one) is because they act like dogs around them instead of cats.
Dogs look for affection and attention, cats don't, although they appreciate it if you give it to them.
Dogs tend to beg and wait for someone to toss them a treat, cats don't.
Cats are independent and can take care of themselves.
Dogs are much more needy.
Cats are not really tamed or domesticated and never lose their natural instincts.
Dogs will obey and can be broken in, especially if they think they will eventually be thrown a treat.
Women prefer men who act like cats as lovers and sex partners.
Women prefer men who act like dogs as pets, servants, and girlfriends to cry on when a real man breaks their heart.
The qualities that you want for each are virtually the same in terms of personality and the only difference is that with the girlfriend there is the sexual attraction part of it.
I only have casual friendships with women (workplace, school, etc.) and I even though we may only be friends, I never allow myself to become one of their "girlfriends".
You guys know what I mean.
I don't let them sit and tell me their problems all day or how some other guy is doing them wrong or bash all men in my presence or any of that sh*t.
The reason most men can't just be friends with a woman (especially an attractive one) is because they act like dogs around them instead of cats.
Dogs look for affection and attention, cats don't, although they appreciate it if you give it to them.
Dogs tend to beg and wait for someone to toss them a treat, cats don't.
Cats are independent and can take care of themselves.
Dogs are much more needy.
Cats are not really tamed or domesticated and never lose their natural instincts.
Dogs will obey and can be broken in, especially if they think they will eventually be thrown a treat.
Women prefer men who act like cats as lovers and sex partners.
Women prefer men who act like dogs as pets, servants, and girlfriends to cry on when a real man breaks their heart.
DjDreamer
Master Don Juan
LoL
I don't think it can get any more simpler or clearer than that...
What sort of man is the friend of a woman that thinks, "you're not good enough for me to have sex with"? Now that's just a total lack of self respect and what woman wants a man that has no self respect?
MightyMate
Master Don Juan
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Im friends with girls which are preety but i only wanan have sex from time to time. The others i only say 'hi' when isee.
typical
Master Don Juan
I gotta give this a bump aswell, excellent post !!!
It's an alright post, But you can Have female friends. THere are benefits to having them. Use them as wingwomen, just be friends with them they'll introduce you to their hot Friends. You meet more women and get a good recommendation etc.
Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.