Herpes can be spread through skin to skin contact. It takes two people to have that kind of contact. Men pass on herpes too. Women don’t go around shooting herpes from their vaginas onto to unsuspecting innocent men. It takes two people to prevent an STI. Condoms don’t protect you from herpes, only no sexual contact protects you. As unromantic as it is you have to take a good look at any body part you plan to put your hands, genitals or mouth on.
It’s good that she told you. It doesn’t mean she’s a *****, it only takes one time to get it, but she was careless (not sure if I believe the transplant story). Despite how nice she is, Herpes is basically a chronic condition that will affect your sex life because you have to plan around flare ups etc and babies infected with it in urtero end up with birth defects.
So it’s a big deal. It doesn’t mean the person is a bad person, but it’s not a light decision to make.
Understandable if you pass on it.