No results online dating

[Naughty Ninja]

Hey I wonder how many of you guys get messaged by girls first. I'm on okcupid and there is only like one message a week in my inbox. I can understand that girls would wait for a guy to message them, but what do you guys make of girls that visit your page but don't message. Worth messaging them if you are interested or can we assume that they don't want you or they would have messaged.

Some like to window shop, while others will look and not make the first move. Others will keep looking so you will see they kept looking to 'notice' them and send a first email.

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Since you don't agree with him on the looks issue, what's your theory as to why I'm not getting any responses?

My theory? You live in a city where thousands of men are signed up on that site, who are all spamming any girl above a 4 with messages. It's no fault of your own that you got lost in the shuffle. I met my last girlfriend from PoF within a week of signing up for the site. That was when I lived in a town of 30,000 people and there weren't that many dudes signed up.

Even Brad Pitt wouldn't get noticed right away if he was walking through the crowd in Times Square. Lots of luck involved with that site. Of course, that's just my theory. It DEFINITELY isn't because you don't have a pic of yourself with your shirt off displaying your ripped abs, despite what some people still attached to the status quo seem to believe.

 

[Leporello]

I have to say, i've been on the other side of this too.

When I was in the Philippines, I joined a dating site and got 3-4 messages/interests a day.

Did I respond to all the cute ones? Not really.

Did I respond to any of the ugly ones? Hell no.

So, unless you really think American girls are any less superficial than I am, there you have it.

 

[BigJimbo]

After hitting the gym for eleven months and adding 20 pounds of muscle I started getting plenty of responses on POF. Didn't even take off my shirt. All I did was post pictures of me working out. I also added pictures of me doing different activities.

Of the 35 females who contacted me I ended up going out with 14 and banging 11. That was over a 12 month period. Most were crazy, but hot. Had to bang one quickly before her 15 year old son came home from school. That was the hottest one.

So guys, add bulk. Chics dig it when you spend a few hours each day in the gym.

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

1. We can't help you unless you post a link to your profile.

2. Online dating is a numbers game. My response rate is .5 percent. Yes it's that low, but fortunately I am persistent. From that low percentage rate, I've gone out with 121 women in 2 and a half years.

3. Gyno sucks. I have a gay client that had gyno. After a year of weight training with me, he has a solid chest. What kind of training do you do?

 

[Kerpal]

3. Gyno sucks. I have a gay client that had gyno. After a year of weight training with me, he has a solid chest.

Then he didn't have gynecomastia.

What kind of training do you do?

The important numbers:

Squat around 450 (to FULL depth)
Bench around 225
Deadlift over 500

 

[Kerpal]

My theory? You live in a city where thousands of men are signed up on that site, who are all spamming any girl above a 4 with messages. It's no fault of your own that you got lost in the shuffle.

Your theory would only make sense if I was getting a lot of "Unread Deleted". But I'm not; most of my messages are "Read Deleted". So it's not like the girls are just saying "Ugh, more spam!" and deleting the messages before reading them. They read the messages, see that they aren't spam, check out my profile/pics, then reject me anyway.

 

[Zarky]

Your theory would only make sense if I was getting a lot of "Unread Deleted". But I'm not; most of my messages are "Read Deleted". So it's not like the girls are just saying "Ugh, more spam!" and deleting the messages before reading them. They read the messages, see that they aren't spam, check out my profile/pics, then reject me anyway.

Dude, read my post here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1750066&postcount=2

Online dating is an ultra-low-percentage game. Your success rate will be around 1%. It's for guys with not a lot of money but a lot of time, like myself.

Second, and this is key on POF and other sites: NEVER look at your own sent messages or whether they were read or deleted or unread or whatever. You WILL get discouraged. After every message I send I go in and delete it from my "sent" folder.

 

[Kerpal]

It doesn't matter whether I look at the message statuses. All that tells me is whether the girls even bother reading the messages before deleting them. I already know the messages aren't being responded to. I can just look at my empty inbox.

 

[Zarky]

Ok whatever. You're playing the "Yes, but" game from "Games People Play." For every suggestion somebody makes, you're giving an excuse as to why it doesn't apply to you or why it won't work. I'm not interested in playing that game. Either keep sending out emails, or don't. I don't care.

You say in the OP that you sent out 12 in a week. I send out 100 in a week. 75-80% of those are not responded to in any way. Sometimes I'll have months where I'll have a 0% response rate. Know whatcha do? Keep sending emails.

 

[Kerpal]

I'm not playing any game, I'm just pointing out why you're wrong. Again, at this rate, I'm going to run out of attractive girls in my area before I get any responses :crackup: 100 messages a week? Are you messaging the same girls over and over again?

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

I'm not playing any game, I'm just pointing out why you're wrong. Again, at this rate, I'm going to run out of attractive girls in my area before I get any responses :crackup: 100 messages a week? Are you messaging the same girls over and over again?

Yes, that can happen if you live in a small town.

Move to a big city. If you live in New York, Chicago, or LA, you will NEVER run out of women.

 

[AAAgent]

what does your message say? since you get some "read deleted" maybe its the content. your not witty enough and don't spark enough interest/curiosity in your message. dont be generic.

I don't really like the numbers game, since that in general isn't really improving anything. I've played around with messages and the ones that responded were either ones that liked my race which made it obvious, or the ones where i put in some time to create a witty response.

I only ever ONCE received a response and it was from some white girl who was some anime junkie who had a fetish for asian guys. needless to say, i didn't respond to that one.

 

[EFFORT]

Even with the gynecomastia you can still lean out and look good in a mens tank top with your arm and shoulder muscles showing while also hiding your chest issue. You can also post a picture where you lift up your tank top a little to show abs and a V-cut while still hiding the gynecomastia. Obviously its a longer term project but something to think about.

Again, at this rate, I'm going to run out of attractive girls in my area before I get any responses :crackup: 100 messages a week? Are you messaging the same girls over and over again?

Zarky is spot on about the high volume, 100 messages is light work. If you set aside time for it and do it efficiently you'll only need to do your messaging once a month and it'll only take you 2-5hours to do. I posted how I go about doing things here.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1685614&postcount=26

Cold approaching will help you tolerate social pressure, keep you witty and sharp and will get you some results in terms of lays/connections depending on how much volume your putting it.

A lot of people here will probably disagree with what about to say but its really efficient for getting lays/plates/options. If you live in a location that has even somewhat of a population, sign up on all the top online dating sites....also take into account what it is your looking for they have sites for all situations, people seeking interracial dating, dating different nationalities etc just look on Google you'll find a lot. I'd recommend taking the first sunday of the month and sign up to 4-8+ of them free and pay.

Then message every woman on the site you would have sex with or take a bj from. Use google chrome as your browser while scrolling through the women on the site and right click open in new tab when you see pictures of women you like. By the time your done you may have 100 or more tabs open thats why i recommend using google chrome since it won't crash. Then make 3-4 different copy paste messages and just go down the line alternating between the 3 (some sites don't let you keep sending the same message in a row so this will prevent that feature from catching you).

The message you send is brief and to the point, Make the subject line something in caps to get her to open it asap.... ex "THIS SUBJECT LINE STANDS OUT" .................. Then when you send her a message keep it very brief just one sentence and to the point don't waste time on being witty or crafty here....."Hey you seem like my type, write me back if your interested" ......for your profile description keep it brief as well..... "I'm new to online dating, curious to see what happens"

The reason most guys are hating online is because there not looking right in there profile pictures. Online is pure looks. If you take 6months-1year and get muscular body with a 6pack you'll be doing good online . Take a picture of your body to show off and post it as your profile picture. Then take another picture of yourself in some really nice clothes. Really spend time on making near model like pictures this is what your results will be coming from, even if your ugly you can still achieve a body that'll get you results you'll just have to put in the time. If your body isn't something you can show off then take another picture in really nice clothes. If you don't have really nice clothes then go to a clothing store and have the chick working there dress you up and get a pic just make sure to not have the tags showing and have the background against a wall so it doesn't show your in a clothing store. (for added fun tell the chick exactly what your trying to do with looking your best for an online dating pic, its usually a pretty fun time and it could get her a bit interested in you)


So after your 3-4 hours of doing this on your Sunday afternoon you would of messaged 100-600+ women depending on how many sites your on, how big your area is and what sort of standards you have. Whatever the case you've messaged a lot of women that are specifically in the market of looking for a guy. You also messaged them from the context of showing your best self in picture form with minimum conversation to show any awkwardness to blow yourself out, so you get yourself in a door where you might not have if you cold approached and came off wrong/nervous under the pressure. Compare this to the guy that went out to do 4-10 awkward/nervous hit or miss cold approaches on women that may or may not be looking for a guy. Not that cold approaching is bad, I'm just all about being efficient for getting results. Once you do your 1 afternoon of mass messaging you'll have the rest of the month and more to pursue the women that respond. Then once you get a situation setup that your happy with gf/multiple gfs/fbuddies etc you can enjoy it and when you need more go back to your online mass message blast again.

Just my thoughts on it

 

[john_trenor]

I know that the dating seen can be intimidating and harsh, but by depriving yourself from real interaction with women you’re only making things worse. Remember that weather talking on the phone or chatting on line with women, men must constantly polish their social skills. This keeps you sharp and more engaging.

As difficult as it may seam women need face-to-face interaction in order to feel attraction. It’s all about self-confidence and believing in your self. Most men in the Internet dating seen believe that their looks deprive them of having a face-to-face conversation, and posting there best picture will improve there chances of success.

The Truth is looks have little to do with attraction when it comes to a women’s psyche. It’s all about engaging women with a positive mind frame. With that in mind men have a better chance of attracting women by talking to them in person than on line. Try it out and don't give up, remember it's all about body language and confidence. Good luck, have fun

 

[Kerpal]

Even with the gynecomastia you can still lean out and look good in a mens tank top with your arm and shoulder muscles showing while also hiding your chest issue.

Nope. They are clearly visible through a t-shirt.

 

[DonGorgon]

online dating is suited for these groups of humans:

1. females
2, good looking men
3. rich men
4. gay men

If you dont fall into those groups you will have a very hard time with online dating and all dating for that matter.

 

[CoolBlue]

You already know what you need to do.

1) Stop wasting time on sites and in the gym and get yourself a side job or something. Make that money to get your surgery ASAP. It's a confidence killer and you will always use it as an excuse.

2) Go out and join activities where you will meet people, especially girls. Try yoga or dance classes or even a cooking class. If you can't attract girls after meeting them then obviously you are not attractive enough and need to go after less attractive girls. I never find a problem getting a girl interested in me whether new place I go (usually the hottest girl at that) so you just gotta meet them.

3) If you have time after all these, work on your attractiveness. Get some game, fix up your looks, work hard and build a career. Be a man, live your life well and girls will come easy to you.

 

[Kerpal]

Yeah, I'm currently saving up the money for the surgery. Planning out a consultation and then a surgery on the other side of the country while keeping it a secret is a logistical nightmare when you're a broke college student. I'm working on it though.

BTW I lift weighs because I like doing it. I'm not training solely for looks. I'd still lift weights even if it didn't give me a better looking body just because I enjoy it.

 

[CoolBlue]

Doesn't sound like your saving money plan is going on too well. Stop being lazy and get that side job. You need to make sacrifices to get ahead.