No kissing on the first date?

[Canadian Idol]

Hello fellow jauns, just came back from a date and everything went great except 1 thing. ok, we went for dinner and it was great, talked about alot used everything I could think of, I was cool, funny and confident, made her laugh alot. I asked questions, she would answer I talked about 20% of the time and she talked 80% of the time, she would answer questions then ask about myself. Then we went to the movies, we held hands and she felt comfortable to move in closer so we were shoulder to shoulder, anyways movie ends and I take her home at like 1am so we hug in the car and she kisses me on the cheek and as she is getting out she says to call her tommorow at 3 when she wakes up. ok, so I want my kiss so, the only bad thing about the night I slipped up and sayed "hey, no kiss?" in a playful manner, and as she is getting out she says "I don't kiss on the first date" but call me tommorow at 3.

Ok, now my question is this... Do girls that are interested sometimes not kiss on the first date? Everything was going great, and I will be talking with her best friend over the weekend to see where I stand and whether she really doesnt kiss on the first date.

 

[StuartScott x 2]

I wouldn't have said "hey no kiss." If you wanted to, you should have just gone for it or just let it go and save it for the next date. You don't ALWAYS have to kiss on the first date. Also, you don't have to save the kiss for the end of the date, kiss in the beginning, when you see her, in the middle when you know things are going well, during the movies, whenever.

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

Sure... She very well could have been using Anti-Slut Defense... However, in my opinion, if you want a kiss, you move in and kiss her.

At least you knew you "slipped up." I couldn't imagine that she would answer that in any other way than what she said. A good C+F response would have been, "That's too bad. I can't take you out on a second date now. Second dates are for the girls who kiss on the first date." Something to that effect.

I don't think you blew it. In fact, I'm sure you're still ok. As for persuing her best friend for answers, I'd advise against it. That kind of stuff is bound to get back to her. Just assume you did great with her on the date.

I just thought of something. Take her on a second date. Right at the beginning of the date, make a bold move and kiss her, and with a confident smile say, "you owed me that." Hey... It's the second date. Her "rule" no longer applies.

But talking to her friend about whether she kisses or not on the first date is not a confident move, and when it gets back to her, she'll think you're insecure. You don't want that.

Good luck


-- Zero-

 

[htemorp]

I wouldn't call her tomorrow, keep her guessing. Plus you don't want to be following her lead already.

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

Woah. I somehow totally looked over the "she said call me at 3" part.

Yeah. Don't call her for at least 3 days, but I would suggest more.


-- Zero-

 

[1hepcat]

Originally posted by -Zero_h0uR-
Sure... She very well could have been using Anti-Slut Defense... However, in my opinion, if you want a kiss, you move in and kiss her.

Absolutely!!! I usually hate those silly forwards people (especially girls) like to send, but one girl I know sent me this forward about kissing. Here's part of it:
-- snip --
Article 3:
The Commandments
1. Thou shall not squeeze to hard.
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one.
3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.
-- snip --

Originally posted by -Zero_h0uR- But talking to her friend about whether she kisses or not on the first date is not a confident move, and when it gets back to her, she'll think you're insecure. You don't want that.
...
-- Zero-

Right on, Zero! Girls tell each other all that stuff. If you ask her friend, it's bound to get back to her and it makes you look insecure. I say don't talk to her friend.

 

[Howie Farkes]

Absolutely!

My current gf and I didn't kiss until our 3rd date (on the 4th she gave up everything )

I guess it depends in the situation, our first date was coming to a close, I felt the time was right to go for the kiss but was greeted by her cheek. Then she said "When can I see you again?" I replied "I'll call you in a coupla days." Same deal on the 2nd date too.

 

[CGE333]

I joke with women (friends) that I will have sex on the first date but not kiss on the first date- kissing is too intimate I tell them. I would say on one out of every three first dates I have gone on I have not kissed them. Most of the ones I did not kiss on the first date I still slept with within 3-4 weeks. So it doesn't really mean anything. Good job on the date.

 

[Canadian Idol]

Ok, I forgot to mention that this girl works at a local club that I go to every thursday, friday and saturday and she does coat check, so her ego is not flying out the window or nothing but whether I call her or not tommorow I will be seeing her anyways.

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

Yeah, but still don't call her tomorrow, dude.

Even if you will be seeing her. You're a busy man. Can't always take time for a phone call. Call in 3 days or so. Maybe on Saturday afternoon. Set something up for next week.

You'll be golden.


-- Zero-

 

[T.T. Boy]

Originally posted by -Zero_h0uR-
A good C+F response would have been, "That's too bad. I can't take you out on a second date now. Second dates are for the girls who kiss on the first date." Something to that effect.

-- Zero-

While this does technically qualify as C + F, it also betrays desperation. I would avoid such a remark.

 

[Quick]

Originally posted by T.T. Boy
While this does technically qualify as C + F, it also betrays desperation. I would avoid such a remark.

I agree. It's no big deal if she doesn't kiss on the first date. It's not like a good night kiss was going to do that much for you anyway. You don't want to make it seem like it bothers you at all. Lots of girls don't kiss on the first date. It's not kissing on the second date that would cause me to question her IL.

 

[Canadian Idol]

Do you think that when I talk to her next time that I should bring up my comment at all for wanting a kiss? I was thinking aboutsome possible ways to go about it.

1. Just pretent it didnt happen
2. Just tell her I only ment I wanted to return the favour with a kiss on HER cheek?
3. Tell her that I respect the fact she doesnt do that and that it takes alot to hold back on such (a great guy like myself) and must have been pretty hard to keep her rule.

 

[T.T. Boy]

Don't say anything about it, it will just make you appear foolish and AFC.

 

[HappyHobo]

LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU

what you need to learn, when going on first dates, is that girls shouldnt go for the kiss ..

YOU should!... that way you can choose if you want to give her a peck.. or some liplocking action
AFTER ALL... you gave her a great night.. made her laugh..
and listened to her YAP YAP YAP ... you SHOULD be able to choose if you want to kiss her on the lips or cheek!

If she moves in on you before you get a chance STOP HER!
dont let her kiss you.... REMINDER: Girls love a MAN who is in CONTROL of the situation
When you have stopped her ... tell her "no stop."
and then kiss her on the lips... after that say "Im only going to let you kiss me there and then *smile*"

Alot of my posts I give QUOTATIONS of how I would handle the situation... which is pretty specific then just saying.. YOU GOT TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION... so the quotations give you an idea of exactly what i MEAN.... anyway im off .. ive got a lot to do today.. hope i helped someone.

 

[Quick]

You wanted to kiss her. That's nothing to apologize for. There's no reason for you to feel bad or awkward about it. There are ways to make it into a joke, but if #2 and #3 are indicative of things you might say, please don't mention it at all.

 

[Canadian Idol]

So from what I am getting from this is...

Dont call her today, but if I see her at the club tonight just say hi and say I was busy (which I am) and that couldnt call her today because I was so busy and that I will try and call her tommorow, and dont bring up the kissing part, then set something up for date #2 next week. I am thinking taking her to play pool or get a coffee, something simple.

 

[sailorgirl]

Dont even bring up why you didnt call her today or make excuses. Just bring up plans for another date and leave it at that.

 

[Canadian Idol]

Ok thanks guys and girls. I didnt call her, and I ended up going to the club that she works at (she is the coat check girl) and I went up to her friend bartendar and got a drink, did not even talk about this girl and she never mentioned anything either. So then I am dancing with my friends and (the girl) comes out of the bathroom and wraps her arms around me and says "I thought you were suppose to call me!!!" So I told her that I got busy and that I would call her tommorow. So when I am leaving I go over to her and SHE ASKS ME WHEN ARE WE GONNA GO OUT NEXT!?!? and I was like we'll I will call u tommorow and make plans (cause she was busy and she couldnt talk very long) So she asks if she can drive my car (I have a sick integra with $2000 rims and just plain sick) anyways she asked, and I said MAYBE, (it will take more then the 2nd date to drive my car if it takes more then the 1st date to kiss this girl I will tell u that!). Anyways handled it like a pro and she ends up practally begging for a 2nd date. hopefully no more screw ups, but playing hard to get FEELS GREAT!

 

[htemorp]

So then I am dancing with my friends and (the girl) comes out of the bathroom and wraps her arms around me and says "I thought you were suppose to call me!!!" So I told her that I got busy and that I would call her tommorow. So when I am leaving I go over to her and SHE ASKS ME WHEN ARE WE GONNA GO OUT NEXT!?!?

Hell ya? You see, she had you on her mind! She was expecting you to call and she wanted you to call. She was probably thinking that night why you didn't call and all waiting by the phone! Do the unexpected, make them beg for your shiet. Keep them guessing, but give him little bit of somethin somethin every so often to keep their interests high, but keep that mystery and keep them guessing!