No escalation after 6 dates...

[Bluntmaster]

How do I konw if she's banging someone else? I don't think she is...

You did not answer my question though in regards on when and how to cancel on her as she asked me out for next Thursday.

I feel like telling her, "You said you are not ready... Just message me when you are ready then we'll continue seeing each other". Once i tell her this I'll also delete her off blackberry messenger. She can text or call me if she wants to, I'll still keep her number.

If she doesn't message I won't care anymore because I'll be spinning plates, already have... Got 2 numbers last night to work on. 2 for 2.

If she messages me and I'm already taken then I'll just decline seeing her.

No, just tell her "something came up I can't make it". That's it. Don't go into detail about that not ready crap.

 

[Lucifero]

I don't know how I can amp it up because whenever I try to kiss her which was probably 3-4 times out of the 6 dates it never worked so I'm thinking it will only happen when she's ready.

http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/253.htm

 

[bam bam]

We've both been clear, but her talk is cheap, no action. If I knew she did not like me I wouldn't expect results. But when you know a girl is really interested in you because they tell you, you want to expect at least something. It's been date 7 now with nothing at all. >.<

see the incongruence? Ur talking in circles which is why your confused.

 

[TIC]

First problem is that your in Toronto, which is home to the most notoriously materialistic, cold evil b*tches.

So far everything I've ever read online about people in Toronto has been negative, especially about the women. I hear its nearly impossible to make friends there or anything. Even worse than the "Seattle freeze"

You need to get the fck out of there. Nova Scotia or Sascetchawan perhaps? I'm not that familiar with Canada but I do live on the border and visit there alot. But don't come down to Detroit, you'll regret that lol.

 

[penkitten]

Okay, any way to turn this around? You gotta read my posts because then only you will understand the situation I'm in...

there was this thing about three minutes or something or the sort that i saw at a seminar a long time ago for business.

i can't remember exactly what the magical number was that the speaker was talking about... but the speaker basically was saying that within that time frame you could size up someone for business. then began talking about "heck you even do it in your personal life."

since i had been on ss, i already read all the threads basically saying the same thing , except that was applied to "how long you should take to kiss a gal or loose your chance at it. "

so the speaker came around to me and and asked me if i believed that you could size someone up that quickly... and i answered in front of at least a hundred people... "not only can i size up someone, but back when i was single i also knew within that time line if i would end up dating them or whatever."

first people gasped that i would disclose personal info about myself in front of so many folks... but then people started conversating about it and guess what? most all the women said they knew too, but only when it came to men in their personal lives. they had never thought like that at work in the business sense.

so if the basic rule of thumb is that a woman knows when she first meets you if she would be willing to kiss you, or sleep with you or whatever... it really shouldn't take 6 dates.

personally, if a girl holds out to date 3... i have to classify her as a good girl.
date 6? friendzone.

 

[wait_out]

So... were you a good girl penkitten?

 

[Jeffst1980]

Her mom has her a subscription so she gets the tickets free automatically.
I thought she was paying at first but she already has them. I'm not going to initiate contact with her anymore, cause she most of the time contacts me.

You know I found out she's on lavalife because one of the pictures she sent me I recognized. She's not that computer smart so her profile shows her most recent logon was.

I find she's logging on 3 days consecutively.
So in the car I test her...

I asked her, hey you try any of those online dating sites?
He said well "not really why".
I say, "Oh because your picture you sentme I recognized"
Her: "Oh really"?
I say, "Yes I saw you on lavalife"
She askes if I use it I said "yeah I'm on htere"
I then ask her how logn she checks online
She says "not very often"
I said, "well I saw your profile twice/thrice and found that you went online 3 times consecutively. That doesn't sound like not very often".

She said well I dunno what the big deal is, after my ex and i broke up I just made an account. I didn't meet anyone or anything.

I said well, you didn't give me straight answers when I asked you those questions... which is kinda weird. She knows it was a test and she failed...

I asked her, well whats your goal to be online, are you looking for an ego boost? She said no...

Since she is beating around the bush when answering those questions it makes me believe she's hiding a few things... tsk, tsk, tsk...

Well off to a night club, tell you guys how it goes.
Maybe I should flop on her for next Thursday and give some lame excuse so she knows I am quickly losing interest and she has to do something or else... I feel bold to do something like that now. Any suggestions on how I should do it? Day on, day before and how to say it?

Thanks ^^

Oh no...don't tell me you admitted to stalking her online...

Your main problem is that you're putting a ton of pressure on her--that's needy behavior, and being needy NEVER works. You want to maintain a cool, collected exterior no matter WHAT happens...that's what having an attractive personality is all about.

From here on out, you should just ASSUME that she isn't going to put out and only hang out with her if you genuinely WANT to. There's no point to discussing things with her, because discussing a relationship (real or imagined) is an interest level killer. You don't want to seem outcome dependent, or she'll continue to feel pressured by you.

What you should be doing (if you decide to keep seeing her) is forcing more and more compliance from her. Have her run errands for you, or help you with something, or rearrange her schedule for you. Get her to INVEST in you. Compliance is the bottleneck to getting physical; a woman that does not comply with your requests will refuse your advances.


I seriously doubt she's banging other guys; if she was, she'd never contact you.

 

[Bluntmaster]

Well OP you are all alone now. I bagged my girl last night.

Dumping her did the trick. She gave it up the next date when I took her back.

 

[bam bam]

First problem is that your in Toronto, which is home to the most notoriously materialistic, cold evil b*tches.

So far everything I've ever read online about people in Toronto has been negative, especially about the women. I hear its nearly impossible to make friends there or anything. Even worse than the "Seattle freeze"

You need to get the fck out of there. Nova Scotia or Sascetchawan perhaps? I'm not that familiar with Canada but I do live on the border and visit there alot. But don't come down to Detroit, you'll regret that lol.

haha!!!

TIC you are one funny ass person. You are 100% correct about Toronto. The thing is with Toronto is that if you have game in Toronto your game is very tight. I find Toronto to be one of the hardest cities to be consistently out on dates. I’ve traveled to a few places around the world and it shocks me how easy it is anywhere else. It feels so effortless almost un-natural to me.

I have friends that go to Vegas/L.A frequent they tell me that the attitude there is bad. But still nothing like the good old stinky T-Dot.

I don’t know what it is about this city but if your games not tight you’re going to be a chronic masturbator. Even talking to a fat chick in Toronto you get the look like what the hell do you want punk ass… Can’t you see I’m 400lbs of prime sexy meat… Take a number and wait till it’s your turn… But if you can push yourself to do well in this city then well… any other city is a step down.. My thoughts but I’m just one dude…

 

[Bluntmaster]

I seriously doubt she's banging other guys; if she was, she'd never contact you.

Huh? Girls do that all the time. She's banging some other guy and using this guy for attention / free meals.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

Well OP you are all alone now. I bagged my girl last night.

Dumping her did the trick. She gave it up the next date when I took her back.

Good job, I'm going to cancel on her the day before next Thursday.

 

[Zarky]

I still don't understand why. She's definitely not interested in you, but use her to go out to the opera or wherever the **** she wants to take you. Who cares if she got the tickets for free? Use her as a pawn, use her for meals, whatever.

The only reason not to go out with her would be 1) to get her interested in you -- the time for this is long past OR 2) to "get back" at her -- this is meaningless and childish.

Just use her. I had a female friend who got me laid by two other girls. Use her.

 

[jophil28]

Good job, I'm going to cancel on her the day before next Thursday.

Steve, you might like to try making a less dramatic statement than that. What worked for The Bluntman may not suit your personal style . Bluntman is "blunt" by name and "blunt" by nature, and he works with a particular 'no shyte' approach.
WE all have to adapt and modify "game" so that it is consistent with the best elements of our own style and persona.

However I think that you have to accept that what you have tried so far is not working too well.
If I were you I would go to the opera and make NO MOVE on her.
She knows from your previous attempts that you are hot for her and she also believes that your nutz are in her purse. She will expect you to try to kiss her again and she will reject you again. Make no mistake, this woman is enjoying this game..
So flip the script on her. Be as controlled and cold as she has been.
BE polite, be cool , but above all be aloof.
Enjoy the night, stay physically detached and go home early - I am betting that her reaction will surprise you.

 

[Romjuan]

Steve, you might like to try making a less dramatic statement than that. What worked for The Bluntman may not suit your personal style . Bluntman is "blunt" by name and "blunt" by nature, and he works with a particular 'no shyte' approach.
WE all have to adapt and modify "game" so that it is consistent with the best elements of our own style and persona.

However I think that you have to accept that what you have tried so far is not working too well.
If I were you I would go to the opera and make NO MOVE on her.
She knows from your previous attempts that you are hot for her and she also believes that your nutz are in her purse. She will expect you to try to kiss her again and she will reject you again. Make no mistake, this woman is enjoying this game..
So flip the script on her. Be as controlled and cold as she has been.
BE polite, be cool , but above all be aloof.
Enjoy the night, stay physically detached and go home early - I am betting that her reaction will surprise you.

Has anyone suggested even trying jophils move of lbjf on her? She wants to go slow? Ok, how about, " you know what, we have been really getting a long lately. I think we should be friends. ." If she asks why i thought we had something special etc? reply back " i just dont think we have any sexual chemistry. we are better off as friends." then just sit back and see how she reacts. Either way man i think shes not into you. If shes on dating sites and seeing you she is keeping her options open because you are not fitting the bill for whatever reason.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

I still don't understand why. She's definitely not interested in you, but use her to go out to the opera or wherever the **** she wants to take you. Who cares if she got the tickets for free? Use her as a pawn, use her for meals, whatever.

The only reason not to go out with her would be 1) to get her interested in you -- the time for this is long past OR 2) to "get back" at her -- this is meaningless and childish.

Just use her. I had a female friend who got me laid by two other girls. Use her.

You have some good points, I might as well keep her on the back burner and go to the opera with her. I have a date setup with a new girl the day before on Wednesday that I've met last Friday. She must be 20 or 21 as she's in college. We're going to shoot some pool. Gonna keep myself more busy and spin more plates.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

Steve, you might like to try making a less dramatic statement than that. What worked for The Bluntman may not suit your personal style . Bluntman is "blunt" by name and "blunt" by nature, and he works with a particular 'no shyte' approach.
WE all have to adapt and modify "game" so that it is consistent with the best elements of our own style and persona.

However I think that you have to accept that what you have tried so far is not working too well.
If I were you I would go to the opera and make NO MOVE on her.
She knows from your previous attempts that you are hot for her and she also believes that your nutz are in her purse. She will expect you to try to kiss her again and she will reject you again. Make no mistake, this woman is enjoying this game..
So flip the script on her. Be as controlled and cold as she has been.
BE polite, be cool , but above all be aloof.
Enjoy the night, stay physically detached and go home early - I am betting that her reaction will surprise you.

You're right that Bluntman is pure Blunt lol... I'll try what you suggested and update you on her reactions. I figure after the opera she would want to catch dinner. I'll just tell her I need to go home to catch up on a project I'm working on...

Thanks

Has anyone suggested even trying jophils move of lbjf on her? She wants to go slow? Ok, how about, " you know what, we have been really getting a long lately. I think we should be friends. ." If she asks why i thought we had something special etc? reply back " i just dont think we have any sexual chemistry. we are better off as friends." then just sit back and see how she reacts. Either way man i think shes not into you. If shes on dating sites and seeing you she is keeping her options open because you are not fitting the bill for whatever reason.

This seems quite interesting, I'll play it non physical and keep it short on Thursday and depending on that on the next meetup if there is one I'll try the lbjf method. I'm sure if I pull the lbjf on her she'll be surprised because I'll have the gear in reverse with the pedal to the metal.

 

[Iceberg]

Well I don't know if this has been brought up, but you got the girl's number 2 weekends ago and you've been on 6 dates in that period of time.

That's a problem right there. You guys are hanging out like every other day. My girlfriend of 2 years would only see me 3 times per week. And you're dedicating this amount of time to a girl who's not even kissing you.

And then you justify it with posts like this:

Remember she got out of a sh*tty relationship 2.5 months ago and said she never been cheated on so she's slowly getting back to normal.

Who cares about her life story? Frankly you shouldn't even be discussing this stuff with her anyway. If she wants to talk about past heartbreaks, she can call up her girlfriends.

If a girl wants to have sex, she will. There's no "I'm too hurt to have sex"...but there is "I don't like you enough to have sex with you." If a girl is excited about you, she'll want to take her clothes off no matter how recently she was "hurt" by an ex. Sexual attraction is undeniable. She can't turn it off just because she got cheated on, freakin 3 months ago.

But when you know a girl is really interested in you because they tell you, you want to expect at least something. It's been date 7 now with nothing at all. >.<

Well yeah. Can you blame her for not putting out? You've been on 7 "dates" with the girl and all you have to show for it is gay little internet smilies ">.<" (the fact that you even do that makes me not want to talk to you).

I've been in your situation before, where I went on 4 dates with a girl and got nothing more than makeouts. And when she texted me to go on date 5, I flaked out.

At some point you gotta be a man and know when to cut your losses. She's pretty? So what. She's non-sexual. This girl isn't worth discussing.

7 dates in 2 weeks with a girl who won't even kiss you? Come on, man.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I probably shouldn't chime in on this, because what I'm going to add to Jophil's suggestion about not making a move is the epitome seduction and competition anxiety.

Don't make a move on her, and maybe before of after the the trip to the opera you can send text back and forth to one of your buddies, pretending it's a girl. (Change your bro's name to 'becky' or 'sara' or something like that) check it every 10 or 15 minutes and just interrupt convo to check or reply to your text.

Actually have your buddy call (using a girl's name on the phone ID) and just walk off and act like you're flirting and laughing with the supposed girl on the other end of the line. (sexually suggestive jokes are a must.) Just come back from the phone call and act a bit disinterested and distant.

That'll get her super steamed and she'll probably confront you on it. Just tell her that it's a super cool female friend and she was having a crisis. If she ask tell her that you friend wouldn't want other people knowing. If she says "you're rude. i'm going home." Don't go after her. Tell her she's acting immature and a friend needed your attention when something bad was happening.

1 or 2 things could happen: She starts putting out because she knows that you're a hot commodity and that she could possibly lose you, OR she leaves thinking you're a jerk and glad she didn't sleep with you. (meaning that you weren't that big of a deal to her in the first place)

If you want this relationship to be founded on seduction and anxiety then do it. If you really believe this girl is genuine and wants to wait (not even PenKitteh believes that) I guess wait on her hand and foot.

OR you can go out and bang other chicks. Up to you.

I don't think I could ever do something like this. I would just walk away from this situation. I've done it plenty of times before. Be brave, young skywalker.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

Okay finally grabbed my balls back and deleted her off of blackberry messenger. Soon she will see I'm not on her list. Not going to pick up her calls or text if she ever contacts me.

END OF STORY

 

[Zarky]

Clearly you had a "thing" for this chick. That was your problem, and deleting her did not solve it. It will reoccur with the next chick.

Had you, however, gone out with her and just enjoyed yourself without making clumsy, rejected passes at her, and had controlled your emotions, you might have learned something that you could apply to the next chick.