No escalation after 6 dates...

[Jitterbug]

A girl I dated once described a guy who fawned over her, went shopping and did yoga (or was it pilates) without getting anything - not even a kiss - as her "Straight gay BFF". She said he's like her best gay friend, except that he's straight.

That's you, mate.

As for the "you're cute", "I miss you"... do you have Facebook? Have a look at what girls post on each other's wall & status, or on their gay friend's. That's what they text each other too.

Sorry, had to be said.

 

[Bluntmaster]

Dump that ho. I just dumped my girl who wouldn't put out after 6 dates. Left her standing alone in a parking lot and drove off.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

How about spinning other plates and keeping her on the side but will do non expensive outings? Went on another outing with her today, no kiss, I tried.

I know she's interested in me and she knows I'm interested in her as well but that whole I'm not 100% after her bad experience with the ex is just mesed up. I'm not going to wait for her, but don't want to next her either.
I figure just keep her around, but don't put as much effort as I do currently.

I'm going clubbing tonight so I plan on getting a few numbers and work on new gals. I'm sure this will give me the relief I need.

By the way, she asked me yesterday if I would like to go to a classical concert/symphony with her. I asked her if she's taking me. she said sure. She has some subscription so she has the tickets already. Its for next Thursday.

I dunno if I should go or should flop on her, and how to say it.
My friend told me just meet other women and hang out with her. Good things don't come that fast.

Will update you guys.

Thanks.

 

[Bluntmaster]

How about spinning other plates and keeping her on the side but will do non expensive outings? Went on another outing with her today, no kiss, I tried.

I know she's interested in me and she knows I'm interested in her as well but that whole I'm not 100% after her bad experience with the ex is just mesed up. I'm not going to wait for her, but don't want to next her either.
I figure just keep her around, but don't put as much effort as I do currently.

I'm going clubbing tonight so I plan on getting a few numbers and work on new gals. I'm sure this will give me the relief I need.

By the way, she asked me yesterday if I would like to go to a classical concert/symphony with her. I asked her if she's taking me. she said sure. She has some subscription so she has the tickets already. Its for next Thursday.

I dunno if I should go or should flop on her, and how to say it.
My friend told me just meet other women and hang out with her. Good things don't come that fast.

Will update you guys.

Thanks.

Is she banging anyone else? That is the question. If she is, you should dump her instantly.

I talked to mine today and we are cool again. She says she is not seeing anyone else she just wants to go slow. If I find out she is lying, she is history.

 

[scorpio1138]

I would initiate contact a lot less if I were you. Make her contact you.

And don't believe anything she says (even if you think it's the truth). I can't count the number of times I've been told one thing by a woman and gotten her to change her mind by escalation/action.

Remember what they say and what they actually do are often not the same.

 

[jophil28]

I talked to mine today and we are cool again. She says she is not seeing anyone else she just wants to go slow. If I find out she is lying, she is history.

Is this that same woman who you left behind in a parking lot ?

 

[Bluntmaster]

Is this that same woman who you left behind in a parking lot ?

Yes. She was right at her car but yes I drove off. She emailed today and explained her side, so I called her and explained mine. It was a misunderstanding.

 

[Zarky]

By the way, she asked me yesterday if I would like to go to a classical concert/symphony with her. I asked her if she's taking me. she said sure. She has some subscription so she has the tickets already. Its for next Thursday.

I dunno if I should go or should flop on her, and how to say it.

WTF, if she's paying why wouldn't you go? Chat up some other women while you're there. If anyone asks, just tell everyone that you and the chick are, "Just friends."

The only reason chicks hold out on sex is because they think they can. Read that five times.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

WTF, if she's paying why wouldn't you go? Chat up some other women while you're there. If anyone asks, just tell everyone that you and the chick are, "Just friends."

The only reason chicks hold out on sex is because they think they can. Read that five times.

Her mom has her a subscription so she gets the tickets free automatically.
I thought she was paying at first but she already has them. I'm not going to initiate contact with her anymore, cause she most of the time contacts me.

You know I found out she's on lavalife because one of the pictures she sent me I recognized. She's not that computer smart so her profile shows her most recent logon was.

I find she's logging on 3 days consecutively.
So in the car I test her...

I asked her, hey you try any of those online dating sites?
He said well "not really why".
I say, "Oh because your picture you sentme I recognized"
Her: "Oh really"?
I say, "Yes I saw you on lavalife"
She askes if I use it I said "yeah I'm on htere"
I then ask her how logn she checks online
She says "not very often"
I said, "well I saw your profile twice/thrice and found that you went online 3 times consecutively. That doesn't sound like not very often".

She said well I dunno what the big deal is, after my ex and i broke up I just made an account. I didn't meet anyone or anything.

I said well, you didn't give me straight answers when I asked you those questions... which is kinda weird. She knows it was a test and she failed...

I asked her, well whats your goal to be online, are you looking for an ego boost? She said no...

Since she is beating around the bush when answering those questions it makes me believe she's hiding a few things... tsk, tsk, tsk...

Well off to a night club, tell you guys how it goes.
Maybe I should flop on her for next Thursday and give some lame excuse so she knows I am quickly losing interest and she has to do something or else... I feel bold to do something like that now. Any suggestions on how I should do it? Day on, day before and how to say it?

Thanks ^^

 

[Bluntmaster]

Her mom has her a subscription so she gets the tickets free automatically.
I thought she was paying at first but she already has them. I'm not going to initiate contact with her anymore, cause she most of the time contacts me.

You know I found out she's on lavalife because one of the pictures she sent me I recognized. She's not that computer smart so her profile shows her most recent logon was.

I find she's logging on 3 days consecutively.
So in the car I test her...

I asked her, hey you try any of those online dating sites?
He said well "not really why".
I say, "Oh because your picture you sentme I recognized"
Her: "Oh really"?
I say, "Yes I saw you on lavalife"
She askes if I use it I said "yeah I'm on htere"
I then ask her how logn she checks online
She says "not very often"
I said, "well I saw your profile twice/thrice and found that you went online 3 times consecutively. That doesn't sound like not very often".

She said well I dunno what the big deal is, after my ex and i broke up I just made an account. I didn't meet anyone or anything.

I said well, you didn't give me straight answers when I asked you those questions... which is kinda weird. She knows it was a test and she failed...

I asked her, well whats your goal to be online, are you looking for an ego boost? She said no...

Since she is beating around the bush when answering those questions it makes me believe she's hiding a few things... tsk, tsk, tsk...

Well off to a night club, tell you guys how it goes.
Maybe I should flop on her for next Thursday and give some lame excuse so she knows I am quickly losing interest and she has to do something or else... I feel bold to do something like that now. Any suggestions on how I should do it? Day on, day before and how to say it?

Thanks ^^

Is she banging anyone else or not?

 

[jophil28]

Yes. She was right at her car but yes I drove off. She emailed today and explained her side, so I called her and explained mine. It was a misunderstanding.

One important benefit of driving off was that now she knows that you are willing to walk away (or drive away )

You da action man, eh.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

So I just got back home from the club. Picked up 2 girls I believe they are between 20-21 years old. The hotter one seems interested in me. I'm gonna spin that.

But I still need to know what to do about the one I've been dating who's not ready for a relationship.

I need to say no to her to make her know I'm walking away and less/not intersted. Any suggestions on how I can flop her for next Thursday? Do I do it on the day of or just cancel with her the day before or earlier than that? And also how to word it?

Thanks in advanced fellow DJ's.

 

[penkitten]

dear steve,
i didn't read your post...just your thread name.
i peeked at your age. you're 31.
at 31, i shouldn't have to tell you what you already know.
she is friend zoning you.

just for record .. the old saying they tell us gals growing up is this "never put out on the first date or you will look like a dirty slut. a guy wants a good girl so wait until date 3."

therefore, it's safe to say... by date 6... if you have had opportunity but she continues to say no ... she is not going to ever lay you.

 

[Bluntmaster]

One important benefit of driving off was that now she knows that you are willing to walk away (or drive away )

You da action man, eh.

I figure it pushed her drama buttons and they love drama. She is coming over tonight.

 

[bam bam]

OP what your doing isn’t working GF.

So why don’t you try some other angle at pushing you past this bump?

Try canceling a date on her be a little bit busier then usual when she tries to get a hold of you.

Clearly you never got the memo of actions are louder than words. It’s nice she’s not a flake on you but how long can you hang out in limbo?

I’ve found over the years usually confusion is cause by mixed signals on my part. Whenever I’ve been clear with my intentions I don’t encounter these confusing dilemmas.

Also try not being too fixated on getting results from the dates. You go with the flow be sexual and let things unfold naturally. Instead having calculated times to kiss or dates when you should be kissing by makes the whole ordeal feel artificial. Women have a way of anticipating that you’re trying to make a move or hesitating and you’re nervous. Deadline impose a sense of urgency on people and make us by nature tense/anxious more.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

Try canceling a date on her be a little bit busier then usual when she tries to get a hold of you.

When and how would you cancel? The dates next Thursday.

I’ve found over the years usually confusion is cause by mixed signals on my part. Whenever I’ve been clear with my intentions I don’t encounter these confusing dilemmas.

We've both been clear, but her talk is cheap, no action. If I knew she did not like me I wouldn't expect results. But when you know a girl is really interested in you because they tell you, you want to expect at least something. It's been date 7 now with nothing at all. >.<

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

I'll cancel on her but... Can I ask you guys what the best way is to cancel on her to get the best effect?

When talking about cancelling meetings with friends and people we were interested in she mentioned she never cancels on people because its rude. She knows I told her I wouldn't cancel on someone I was interested in so if I cancel that should push one of her buttons.

How would you cancel on this situation and what would you say and when would you cancel? The date is next Thursday.

just for record .. the old saying they tell us gals growing up is this "never put out on the first date or you will look like a dirty slut. a guy wants a good girl so wait until date 3."

Okay, any way to turn this around? You gotta read my posts because then only you will understand the situation I'm in...

 

[backbreaker]

if you are going on dates


6 of them

and you haven't escalated anything


then they are no longer called dates anymore. you are now just spending money to be in her presence.

 

[Bluntmaster]

I see the OP is REFUSING to answer the question of is she banging anyone else?

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

I see the OP is REFUSING to answer the question of is she banging anyone else?

How do I konw if she's banging someone else? I don't think she is...

You did not answer my question though in regards on when and how to cancel on her as she asked me out for next Thursday.

I feel like telling her, "You said you are not ready... Just message me when you are ready then we'll continue seeing each other". Once i tell her this I'll also delete her off blackberry messenger. She can text or call me if she wants to, I'll still keep her number.

If she doesn't message I won't care anymore because I'll be spinning plates, already have... Got 2 numbers last night to work on. 2 for 2.

If she messages me and I'm already taken then I'll just decline seeing her.