I posted on here a few weeks ago about a girl who had totally baffled me by her behaviour and managed to get me doing some really silly AFC stuff. After consulting on this forum and getting some excellent advice, I decided to go completely NC.
I made no attempt to call or txt, ignored all her txts and only answered the phone to her after she had tried at least 3 times that day. The transformation in her behaviour has been quite dramatic. Whereas before she would make little or no effort and basically make me do all the running around, the roles have completely reversed. She is now frequently sending me messages, calling me many times a day and keeps arranging to meet up.
While it feels good to have her behaving like this to me, there is one distinction I'd like anyone reading this to know. I feel probably 10% of what I do for her now compared to before. By going NC it forced me to focus on myself and my behaviour, rather than waiting to feel good based on whether she contacted me or not. Being more detached from the outcome with her has helped immensely and I think the ability to not care (as much) and be willing to walk away makes such a difference.
I made no attempt to call or txt, ignored all her txts and only answered the phone to her after she had tried at least 3 times that day. The transformation in her behaviour has been quite dramatic. Whereas before she would make little or no effort and basically make me do all the running around, the roles have completely reversed. She is now frequently sending me messages, calling me many times a day and keeps arranging to meet up.
While it feels good to have her behaving like this to me, there is one distinction I'd like anyone reading this to know. I feel probably 10% of what I do for her now compared to before. By going NC it forced me to focus on myself and my behaviour, rather than waiting to feel good based on whether she contacted me or not. Being more detached from the outcome with her has helped immensely and I think the ability to not care (as much) and be willing to walk away makes such a difference.