nicksaiz65 Odyssey

[nicksaiz65]

Sorry for the late response. Don't let it bother you because if they don't cheat with you, then they will cheat with someone else. You shouldn't care what other people think. Shes friends with someone you work with? Who cares. Are you going to work there for the rest of your life? Your in college and I'm sure its some kind of throw away job. Don't be so outcome dependent. Yes, be direct. An alpha male goes after what he wants in life. Right now, your not showing her that you want to be more then friends.

Honestly, it will be hard with other people around. I don't know what you are all doing. But, if you go to some kind of party or bar then move her to a different part of the venue away from the people you came with. Isolate and seduce her.

Yeah unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to escalate with her, there was never a chance to get her alone. That and the fact that I blacked out by mistake.

But I’ve been applying lots of kino and flirting with her lots. I turn off my filter with her and the conversations go great. We were joking about abstinence, and she even said something to the extent of “I definitely didn’t get laid last night.” And this girl’s boyfriend lives several states over. Honestly if that isn’t a green light, I don’t know what is. She’s also complimenting my hair and body, telling me that I look good, I look like I work out, and all that. I’ll definitely be shooting my shot.

We were talking about how I made dubstep the other day. I’m thinking about just being like “hey I’m bored and making some music, wanna come over and kick it?” We has also talked about going to the gym, so I could go do that with her and then fvck her after that. Is that good enough? And should I ask her availability or should I just hit her up some random day? Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Also, random, but this didn’t really fit in any other portion of the journal. I finally got my boat shoes with the fur inside them, I’ve wanted these for a while. From Walmart of all places. Walmart really is a great place for dressing frugally. Gradually upping the style game until I dress so nicely that it would make a model jealous.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Coffee Dates
I just matched this girl that I Cold Approached and forgot about on Tinder. I’ll hopefully try to get her out on a date sometime.

After seeing a Based Zeus video and asking some members on here, apparently coffee dates/casual hangouts and all that are totally cool as dates. Although Action Dates are better. I’ve been wondering about that for a while now.

Over time, I’m going to go through all the Based Zeus, Simple Pickup, and RSD videos. They are all really good resources. It seems like I always learn the lesson that I need to after I fvck up. So this’ll pre-emptively help with that!

Another thing that I’m working on is speaking without a filter. This is part of becoming less self conscious.

 

[nicksaiz65]

The Most Perfect nicksaiz65
Guys, I just realized today: I freaking suck. I was around these people today that have learned so much more music than me and have way better grades than I do. I absolutely need to step my game up. I’m supposed to be perfect in pretty much every way, right?

I mean it’s not totally my fault, I didn’t have the instruction book for life until literally one year ago. At least now that I do have the instructions, I’ll be an even better Alpha Male than anyone else given time. But if I’m going to make it, I have to be perfect in literally every single way from now on. I don’t have the leeway to make even one mistake.

Getting real sick of these flaky girls and their stupid games. I guess all girls are flaky naturally though. I’ll keep approaching, but I’m honestly about to just say eff it with these women and just fvck my Lay Report 3 while I Self Improve. That way I’ll have constant sex and I’ll be able to work on my looks too. Then maybe I won’t have such a hard time out in the field.

 

[nicksaiz65]

The Wall
It's super freaking late, but I just had an epiphany. I think the reason that I'm struggling in game is because I'm taking all these rejections personally. It takes me a while to bounce back from each one.

Once my Self Improvement is done(which will admittedly take a really long time) I won't care. I'd be like fvck that bytch.

I haven't done enough approaches. At first I was like "I'll just approach casually" but I want to get my approach count all the way up to 100 and see where that gets me in game.

Until I finish all of my Self Improvement, I can't win this game.

 

[nicksaiz65]

My Anxiety

I don’t know why, but my anxiety is coming back again. I feel sick and jittery all the time. Nothing that some good grades can’t fix, I suppose.

At least while I was laying in bed sick I had an epiphany. I subscribe to the Dr. Nerdlove/Simple Pickup method of texting the most. And cause people do Snap Streaks, even texting them every other day or so is cool, like Dr. Nerdlove said. I use Snapchat, but I’m almost thinking texting would be more effective. I relate so much to Dr. Nerdlove’s stuff, I’m gonna use his texting model in my personal method of seduction. On top of that, when I accidentally seduced girls in the past, I used a texting model similar to his. At least I don’t have to worry about that anymore!

 

[nicksaiz65]

I think that turn up dates are important as well as casual hangouts. Casual hangouts are like totally cool too(all my female friends say that they are cool; even my friends L and S go on dates), but you gotta do both. Just a realization that I’ve had. It’s ok to be in groups. It’s like Girls’ Chase said: they count as dates. My observations are gonna be important to be a DJ also... although I’ve pretty much got it figured out. I just gotta boost my confidence, get rid of my anxiety, and then I should have it made. I fvcked my Lay Report 3 starting with coffee dates, so it will work out!!!! Apparently sliding in DMs is a thing too.

Also drugs like cocaine or molly? Not doing them, ever. A lot of my friends do, but it’s absolutely crazy to me.

Also, seduction stresses me the hell out. I’m about to just do one little thing a day for it and move forward with no time limit. That way I won’t feel like my head’s about to explode every day.

Hanging out at the house with friends and drinking/smoking is a good party date, I might start doing this more often as I make more friends.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Now that all this is listed out, I really do have a ton of issues to work through. I’m gonna succeed, I swear I will. Gonna just have to work through these problems a little bit at a time.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Drunk Update:
Kinda embarrassing, but I absolutely need to stop c*mming in bytches, even with Birth Control. I’m gonna end up messing up my life. From now on, just like every PUA says, I will ALWAYS practice safe sex because that’s what nicksaiz65 does.

Even my Lay Report 3 agreed that coffee dates are a thing! Even Haunted House Dates could be a thing too. And my Chad friends. Time to be a Don Juan. I just have to have some self confidence in myself for once in my life.

I was told today that I’m very well endowed, my sex game is great, and I can last a really long time in bed. That’s great to hear. Probably because of all the practice that I’ve been getting in with my Lay Report 3. So with this, I can have a bit more confidence in the “will I fvck her right” issue. I now know that I at least have a sexual base to work with.

I swear on everything that I’m gonna become a God in life AND with girls. I’ll be the Don Juan that has it all.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Morning Musings

I’ve really gotta get over my social anxiety. It’s messed me up in life. I was supposed to get a paper today and then I was scared to ask for it because of my social anxiety, then I got messed up. How can I call myself a Don Juan like this? My fear and/or avoidance of People ends today.

Also, my lesbian friend has hella confidence and is hooking up with hotter bytches than I am. If she has that confidence, then why can’t I?

Edit: A Harris O’Malley style of game is really gonna be what suits me, honestly. Combined with Don Juan and a pinch of PUA/Red Pill of course.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Afternoon Responsibilities
Updating lots cause I’m on a trip and I’m trying to be ultra responsible. I’m going to
1.) Stop leaving my shyt around everywhere so it can get stolen
And
2.) Be the type of nerd that lives his life out of a planner. I’m going to constantly be checking for dates, events, etc.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Ambitions

Quick nightly update. So I ended up going to the strip club tonight. The girls there were sooo ridiculously hot. It makes me realize that I have a really really long way to go in terms of this life stuff and pulling hot hoes. Gonna keep coping until then. I’m not even sure how I’m gonna get to the level that I see people at. But it absolutely can be done.

As an aside, another goal I have for myself is to be a runner alongside a lifter. I wanna be both a distance runner and be able to run really fast miles too.

And I’m gonna study more to Classical Music too. I have my most productive Study Sessions whenever I do that.

EDIT: Wtf is a juul? I know so many college students obsessed with these

 

[nicksaiz65]

I really can’t do **** against these hot women in clubs. I’m just not good enough yet and not worthy. Gonna go for 2 more girls before I go into my Self Improvement spell, that’s all the pain I can take.

On a positive note, I won a Speech Competition today! Actually doing something with my life.

Still gonna keep that 360 Waves and Low Bald Fade, the best of both worlds. I really like fades.

Gonna be doing a friendzone escape artist course soon. Gonna see how this goes...

My friends were talking about girls cheating again. Even a ring doesn’t matter. Infidelity is such a thing.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Plateau

Not really a field report. But I read some of the earlier entries in here and damn have I made a lot of progress. As long as I stay on this path, I’ll definitely get to where I want to be. I just get so negative so quickly sometimes. Do you guys have any advice for helping me keep my mindset positive as I improve?

As I reach my new level of mastery, I’m going to keep my strategy extremely simple to avoid headaches. If I don’t see results in the field, I’ll just put the effort into my self improvement. I have to just stay positive and put in the work. Reading positive things like Pook will help too. I’ll try to stop posting negative drunk field reports too as I work to become an Alpha Male.

My Chad Friends: “If you have a nice body and good hair, you can fvck any one in this world easily”

 

[nicksaiz65]

10/30/18: How am I Doing in Life?

I thought I’d give you all a quick update on how my life is going. I don’t have much time before class so this is going to be a bunch of really short things, almost bullet point like.

I saw some strippers this weekend. Shyt was crazy. I need to be on that level when I’m an adult and all that.

I won a speech competition as well. At least I did something that wasn’t BS for once and was able to make my parents proud.

I’m going back to the bald fade with deep waves. With all the **** life is throwing at me I don’t have time for a full 360. Plus I miss doing Self Cut Bald Fades, Doing other Wave Cuts is really annoying. As long as the waves are deep on top and I have a nice body, I’ll look extremely fvckable. I can get the hair confidence within a few months. And that cut just looks nice af on me anyways. Gonna invest in a Wahl Shaver to make the cuts easier. Also, only using Cantu, 360Style, and OGX Shampoos. That stuff works great on my hair.

Vega Protein and Greens is a really nice protein powder.

Still working on growing out a beard. I need every last bit of SMV that I can get. It’s gonna be really slow, but I can see the hairs popping up.

I’m not happy with myself as a violinist nor a producer. I have a ton of work to do. I’m not gonna like myself at all until I get this under control.

I’ve been working out like a beast as of late and I feel so much better about myself. My nutrition needs lots of work though.

Both of my best friends are graduating next semester. I’m scared that I’m gonna be alone and not hanging out with anyone. Trying to make some more social connections now.

Definitely moving into a single room next semester. I’m not having any more roommates unless we’re already kinda tight before moving in. Cause I’m adapting to the situation I’m in now, but this is not it at all. I’ll be going to talk with someone about that tomorrow.

I’m not on the level in game. I’m about to start Cold Approaching for the pure practice, and expect nothing from it until I Up my SMV. One day I’d like to do at least 100 approaches. This is what it will take to master the game. Gotta get back into Cold Approaching consistently, with more technique this time.

Due to my nerdy tendencies, no one will respect me until I’ve Gym Maxxed and I have some Deep Ass Waves.

I’m up to my ears in debt. I need to go talk to someone about this and get it fixed. I have no option but to get a job over break. I need to start looking.

I struggled so much because I was so sheltered and miserable. Couldn’t focus. But now that I’ve been unplugged from the Matrix, time to kick life’s ass. I will never mess up again.

As unhappy as I am, I’ve made a lot of progress in the 10 or so months that I’ve kept this journal. My social skills have improved dramatically. I gotta raise myself up so that I can get better pvssy though.

My singing and dancing projects MUST be finished over Winter Break. I just won’t have time if I don’t.

Life is trying to kick my ass. I literally don’t have time to chill with all the **** it’s throwing at me. I may give up video games like TRP said to. If I’m mentally stressed, I can go to the gym or brush my hair.

People real deal love parties and social hierarchies and juice. I just can’t relate. I asked Dr. Nerdlove a question about this and I hope that he answers. Being competent, untouchable and having value is more important than being cool to me.

I’ve got to be a Computer Nerd living out of a calendar if I am gonna make it in this world.

I’ve dabbled with suicidal thoughts in this journal when I got really messed up. I just happened to hear a really inspiring talk by RSD Madison today about how suicide isn’t a solution to any problem. So I guess if I want to be a true PUA, that option is out the window.

 

[nicksaiz65]

10/31/18: Ambitions in Life, Cold Approaches Tonight

Good morning, Sosuave Fam. As I’m working, I just wanted to share a few life updates with you all.

Not only will I be socially successful, but I am going to achieve all of my dreams just like Pook and AMS talked about.

One of my biggest dreams is to be a competent violinist/composer. Instead of a traditional composer, I’m going to be a producer to modernize that goal. Although I definitely will write a few String Quartets and things like that just for the practice. The best thing I can do for now is to make like 200-300 beats just for practice and learn a ton about Music Theory, along with listening to other music. This will make my beats less generic. Working to be the best violinist that I can possibly be also.

Another dream of mine was to become a Waver/Barber. I’m doing the Bald Fade cause it’s the only haircut that I can realistically do on myself as a Glasses Wearer. Plus, it’s just always clean and won’t go out of style. All I have to worry about is getting a clean blend. A well blended fade makes the top waves pop even more, especially if they’re deep. If I get bored with it I’ll learn a new fade. And just having DEEP waves on top is so maintainable along with my busy life.

Still working out hard, still pursuing that dream. I’ll whip myself back into shape extremely soon.

Even though I’ve fvcked up tremendously in school: my aim is to really learn this stuff and show programmers that I am the shyt. I’m going to code that synthesizer that I’ve been dreaming about and make sure it works great. Then I’ll enter it into a competition next Fall. I will absolutely win, and I’m going to show these companies that I know what the fvck I’m talking about when it comes to programming. Musical Applications is an area that I’m definitely interested in. I may look into polishing up the old application I made and do some Udemy Courses as well.

One day, I want to become a published author like AMS. When I really, really, really get on the level I’d like to write a book on gaining confidence and seduction, along with making a blog. I feel like I can write well enough that that would be interesting. The only issue is if I talk about Red Pill concepts that aren’t politically correct, I could get banned from Amazon just like Roosh did. Maybe I just write a PDF for free? This is a while away though. Maybe I’ll just do the blog, I don’t know. I have always wanted to write a book though, I need to think about that.

I’m starting to think I might just wanna find me a cute nerdy girl to date instead of one of these super party sluts. I see my friend dating one and she’s cute as hell. They did a video game cosplay and it was amazing. Or maybe I could date another classical musician. Still, we’ve tried this in the past, and it didn’t work because my Don Juan Game wasn’t on point. Game comes before anything else.

Is there any way I can take a Biology Course over the Winter Break? I need to research that, because if I could, that’d really help out.

I’m gonna start dancing every day starting in November. In this last month of school and over Winter Break, this issue needs to be KILLED. Otherwise I’m gonna be dead from the stress considering we have events involving dancing next semester. I simply don’t have time to be worrying about not being able to dance. It’ll be a boost to my Don Juan skills anyways, so might as well do it.

Working on getting a job for once I go back to my hometown. I could use the work experience, and on top of that I most definitely need the money.

I’ll be going out and Cold Approaching tonight so look forward to that.

 

[nicksaiz65]

11/2/18: My State and Emotions

I told myself that I wouldn't make any more of these long, sappy and emotional posts. But honestly, I'm feeling so many different emotions now that I don't really have a choice. I'll try to keep it concise. But there's so much going on in my life now. My whole Page 13 is gonna be venting and sorting my life pretty much until I get back out in that field, start Cold Approaching, and getting out in that field again.

So I got called lazy and pathetic by one of my best friends today. I didn't cry about it, but dang. We won't be talking for a bit until I resolve what caused the issue. I will admit that he made some extremely valid points against me, though. I don't even feel like a real person as much as I **** up. It's not cute or endearing at all anymore, I'm a grown ass man and I need to act like one. The only counter to this is to become the PERFECT Don Juan nicksaiz65 that I was always meant to be. In my own way, of course. I mean, I have Gav's Guide to Motivation on side. How could I go wrong?

I've decided that I'm quitting video games. Every second I have needs to be spent on my work and passions if I'm going to become perfect and untouchable. And I'm gonna totally be myself while I do it. If I want to see a video game, I'll watch a Let's Play while I brush the top of my head to get waves. This will save me both money and time also. I swear on everything that I will ascend, and I will spend every single second that I have doing it.

I've found a way to save my grades. May drop a ton of classes, but I will most definitely still graduate. I'll have a 3 or above this semester. I've just got to study my butt off.

No more fvck ups. Like, ever. Even small ones.

I've touched on this before, but I need to know how to dance. It's not enough just to be passable. To be perfect, I need to know how to break dance, shuffle, hip hop dance, all that crazy ****. I have to surpass everyone and be better than them. I haven't forgotten about being an EDM God either. I'll be making tons and tons of tracks so that I can finally get the producing clout that I deserve.

I need to balance my priorities. Like I'll be going to work instead of going to this party tomorrow so that I can start assuaging this crippling debt that I've put myself into.

One benefit of having deep waves on the top is that I can brush while I watch RSD Videos and value giving things. I feel kind of ugly and I always will until these top waves are deep and my blend is nice. So I'd better get to brushing.

I'm still uncomfortable around the super sluts that I want to fvck. As I attack the issues in this journal, that will fix itself.

I've said it before, but I will become the Ultimate Don Juan. The only way to do this is to keep working until I am literally UNTOUCHABLE and PERFECT. It can be done, but this is gonna take a while. I will live the life that was stolen from me and that I deserve to live.

I need to observe normies to learn game also. For example, I didn't know this, but a good way to fvck a girl is to go out with friends instead of on a "date." Then you just bring your girl home.

I'll try to be a good person, but I'm willing to lie through my teeth to be perfect.

No petty beefs ever. Good vibes only.

I'm about to start Cold Approaching my ass off. I can't be Ultimate if I haven't done at least 100 approaches. An Alpha Male always goes for what he wants in life. And I will do it in my own way, no matter how long it takes. I'll make lots of new friends too, as the Ultimate Alpha Male.

I need to have as much sex as humanly possible to keep getting used to pvssy. It'll help me beard too. I won't be mogged anymore.

Anyone who doubts me or doesn't believe in me, I'll destroy. I swear that I will be the Ultimate Alpha Male.

Rant over. I'll cold approach a couple of baddies at work tomorrow.

 

[nicksaiz65]

After having sex to de stress, I’ve realized 4 things.

1.) My Bald Fade needs work, it’ll keep getting better once I get a Self Cut System 2.0
2.) I absolutely must not fvck without a condom. Like Richard la Ruina says, “ALWAYS practice safe sex.”
3.) Need to check out those sex videos that were recommended for me. I need to learn more positions.
4.) Dancing is a human fundamental, if I don’t master it, I’ll never be a great DJ.

 

[Papa_smu]

How are you objectively measuring your progress? Just out of curiosity.

 

[nicksaiz65]

How are you objectively measuring your progress? Just out of curiosity.

I’ll usually have a general idea of some long term goals that I want to achieve. I break those down into smaller goals and eventually daily goals. Every single day, I make sure that I achieve as many of those daily goals as I can. I generally wanted this journal to be more action oriented, but I’ve had so many Inner game issues that I’ve had to write them all down. Doesn’t help that I update this journal after I’ve been drinking lol. But that’s about the best method I can think of to stay on track