NHY's Boot Camp: Week 2 Response Thread

[JC9]

Those of you still participating in the bootcamp started by NHY, post your week 2 reports and observations here.

Week 2 assignment: Casual conversation with 10 strangers, lasting longer than 2 minutes.

Right now I have completed 2/10.

This will be harder than I expected. I have tried to start up conversations with 8 people so far, only 2 have I been able to keep going past the initial few comments.

I have been basically using fluff talk about the weather, or remarking on something going on around at the time to strike up a conversation. However, I am not getting people to open up. They are sticking with short statements or answers that makes it hard to continue any sort of conversation.

Post up your reports, thoughts, observations.

Let's get everyone through this week. No drop outs.

 

[Dustin]

I posted tihs late in the other thread so I'll post it here lol btw for week 2 I have 1/10.

1st report....

It's approximately 2:29 PM were I live and i'm in the middle of watching one of the most exciting games on earth,Basketball,Ive decided to tell you what happened in my frist week "on the field".

Alirght so we'll start off wenesday, when I decided I was gonna get kicked out of boot camp if I didn't try anything so I was just hanging out then started talking to a few of my friends saw this HB 3 years older than me from my school so I started to talk to her and was like are you going to the dance and such so she was like ya,Then she was like are you going and I was like no I don't think so. So she started bugging me to get my ticket and finally I did. So she's going to the dance monday and so Am I and this is one of them dances with the girls ask the guy's to dance aha. She better ask me or else I'm gonna ask her.

Now let's skip to friday - I was leaving to go away that weekend and I went to the local pizza place for lunch break me and my friends and tehre were a couple HB's my age there so we started talking and stuff nothing to interesting but notihng to much cause one of them was one of my friend's girls.

Later that night at the hotel - Me and one of my friends were sitting in the lobby and here comes in a girls basketball team so I'm like sweet he's kinda the shy type. So one sits down so I'm like "So are you guys from around here" (Of course there not there staying at the hotel) they tell me were there from and such so I get small talk going on with a few of them get some of them laughin, Then my team was gonna have a poker game going so I asked them if they wanted to play and there coach wouldn't let them so I was like well if you girls get bored later I'm in room 206...Then one girl replied with "your a midget"...Now I am about 5'10 lol and they were the senior team so the girls I were talking to were probalby a few years older then me but I didn't get the midget part lol...

It's not that hard to talk to random chicks I figured that out and rejection isn't so bad cause that girl looked like an idiot and her friends knew it lol...Turns out later that night though that they had a room before my friend and went through the doors the deperate the 2 rooms til llike 3 in the mournign but nothing hppened lol...So I went in there the next mournign and after my friends were done telling me I knew them girls were still asleep so I knocked on the door and was like there my age to how come there not midgets lol.

Well that's my week 1 report and tips lol!

 

[SdotL]

Originally posted by Dustin
I posted tihs late in the other thread so I'll post it here lol btw for week 2 I have 1/10.

1st report....

It's approximately 2:29 PM were I live and i'm in the middle of watching one of the most exciting games on earth,Basketball,Ive decided to tell you what happened in my frist week "on the field".

Alirght so we'll start off wenesday, when I decided I was gonna get kicked out of boot camp if I didn't try anything so I was just hanging out then started talking to a few of my friends saw this HB 3 years older than me from my school so I started to talk to her and was like are you going to the dance and such so she was like ya,Then she was like are you going and I was like no I don't think so. So she started bugging me to get my ticket and finally I did. So she's going to the dance monday and so Am I and this is one of them dances with the girls ask the guy's to dance aha. She better ask me or else I'm gonna ask her.

Now let's skip to friday - I was leaving to go away that weekend and I went to the local pizza place for lunch break me and my friends and tehre were a couple HB's my age there so we started talking and stuff nothing to interesting but notihng to much cause one of them was one of my friend's girls.

Later that night at the hotel - Me and one of my friends were sitting in the lobby and here comes in a girls basketball team so I'm like sweet he's kinda the shy type. So one sits down so I'm like "So are you guys from around here" (Of course there not there staying at the hotel) they tell me were there from and such so I get small talk going on with a few of them get some of them laughin, Then my team was gonna have a poker game going so I asked them if they wanted to play and there coach wouldn't let them so I was like well if you girls get bored later I'm in room 206...Then one girl replied with "your a midget"...Now I am about 5'10 lol and they were the senior team so the girls I were talking to were probalby a few years older then me but I didn't get the midget part lol...

It's not that hard to talk to random chicks I figured that out and rejection isn't so bad cause that girl looked like an idiot and her friends knew it lol...Turns out later that night though that they had a room before my friend and went through the doors the deperate the 2 rooms til llike 3 in the mournign but nothing hppened lol...So I went in there the next mournign and after my friends were done telling me I knew them girls were still asleep so I knocked on the door and was like there my age to how come there not midgets lol.

Well that's my week 1 report and tips lol!

Sorry but I don't understand the last part... care to clear it up a bit?

 

[Microphone Fiend]

whats up people... I got 2/10 on saturday and I stayed in on sunday. I tried 3 conversations and two went through. My two managed conversations were with a bouncer who was at first giving me sh!t about looking to young and then after a couple well placed questions and assumed rapport he was telling me the good nights to show up, and cracking jokes, and a old store keeper who talked about how he went deep sea diving after I asked for his advice on fishing and the stuff he sells

My failed convo was with this rather nervous character at a bus stop who cleared his throat after speaking 2-3 words each time cuz he came out so hoarse...I gave up and then reopened him but after one word answers and I felt a lil intrusive I just balked out. Shudda stuck it out for my 3rd but I didnt have the mindset at the time. By any means neccesary next time fellas, lol. The people can think i am trying to hit on them (yes, even the fellas) so long as I get another tally in my convo column

 

[Microphone Fiend]

P.S. A lil reading material fellas
Bootcamp Week 2 (took place about a month or so ago)

If we don't learn from history, we are bound to repeat it

nahmean? Imma read it now and get a lil heads up on what to expect and stuff that the people wish they knew from the beginning...Good luck, and good job takin the initiative and making the thread JC9. i was looking for one last night but couldnt find it.


Edit:Something good I read, inspirational words going into battle I would say, lol.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=78205

Originally posted by BrotherAP
Welcome, recruits, to second week of the rest of your lives. You have survived the perils of week 1, and made eye contact with many a stranger. You have even stepped out on a limb and said hello to many of them. You went out fearing the worse, but somehow survived without being laughed off the face of the earth. Nothing wrong with a few friendly 'hello's, right? Well, don't get too comfortable in your seats...

It's time for Week 2. Your mission, should you choose to accept it (and you do, because I said so), is to initiate a conversation with 10 strangers, lasting at least 2 minutes. You will lead into the conversation using what is now your familiar eye contact + hello combination, and you will talk about whatever comes to mind.

If you are nervous about this, remember that nervousness is the very emotion that we are trying to beat out of you. If you want to see positive internal change, you must place yourself in front of the firing range and do what you fear most. Confidence will come as a result of experience. Remember, true confidence is hard to develop - that's why it is a rare thing. You are well on your way to being rid of your social akwardness - but we're not going to stop there. By the end of this, you will be able to approach any girl in any venue no matter how beautiful and stuck up she may seem. Remember - you are a man. You are a social and sexual being. Embrace it.

-----------------------------------------------

If you have not yet read the week 2 literature, do so. Focus on the tips on initiating the conversation. After getting one started, you will find that it flows quite naturally.

LINKS

The DJ Bootcamp

Xanga BlogRing

DJ Bootcamp Week 1 Thread

Bootcamp Recruiting Thread, Summer 2005

 

[ethnomethodologist]

LOL, NHY's response thread? I think NHY was supposed to make it Because he did.

Thank you kindly Mic fiend. Be reading soon, way too much talking lately

Well I posted my week 2 and week 1 completion in the thread started by NHY. I'll rewrite it without all the mubo sudicide jumbo and make it more accustomed to the DJ bootcamp philosophy.

Be kickin'

 

[NHY]

Lol, its OK, I'll delete the thread I started and this will the ' offical ' response thread. Edit: Drat, you have to be a moderator to delete it, just ingnore it

We all make mistakes in life, time I played cathup quick!

 

[skd]

Talking to strangers has always been a sticking point for me. So here it comes.

good news and sad news:

good news: went to a party last night, struck up 2+ min conversations (ranged from 2-7 initial conversations, then some more everytime I saw them) with 4 people, 1 of them a complete *****.

then today as I was shopping downtown, I ran into one of the cashiers I kinda joked around with when I was buying some shirts so I talked to her for a little bit, probably on the short end of 2 min.

sad news: remember the new social circle I mentioned in the week 1 response thread? well it looks like I've got the chance to explore it more deeply under the guidance of three of my friends who are already in it, who are more social and successful with women than I am. So I will be dropping out of the boot camp.

Success to you all, good luck and God-speed!

I'll be posting FRs on mASF.

 

[gab01]

i opened a conversation with a 50+ yo man. i commented on his shoes and asked him if he plays badminton. he asked me a bunch of questions too, which prevented it from becoming one-sided. it lasted the whole train ride so that's about 15+ mins.

i made ec and waved hi to this office chick on the way home. she rolled her eyes, complete with a "wtf" facial expression. it made me feel VERY uneasy. i just got rejected! haha

i tried to open a conversation on the way home with this other person. i asked him if he came from work and what he was doing in the mall etc. he kept on giving me one word answers so keeping convo was tough. either he's shy or i'm asking the wrong questions.

1/10

 

[JC9]

Originally posted by gab01

i tried to open a conversation on the way home with this other person. i asked him if he came from work and what he was doing in the mall etc. he kept on giving me one word answers so keeping convo was tough. either he's shy or i'm asking the wrong questions.

This is the same that has been happening to me.

If anyone gets some success with opening people who give short responses, post your methods.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/converse.htm

-best article i've read on conversing...doesnt really cover keeping the convo goin, but it does cover the essentials like what to say to make her think of you



http://www.sosuave.com/articles/start.htm - this one says:

the mistake I most often see a guy make when he opens a conversation with a girl is that he tries to get a response from her.

Maybe he tries too hard to make her laugh. Or he starts asking her weird questions that he shouldn't be interested in when speaking to a total stranger (e.g., "What's you major?" or "How has your day been today?"

This sets her up with a higher value than him.

Is that what you did? Asked a question that you dont really care about, or doesnt really serve a purpose? You gotta do kind of an interrupt imo. Like when someone is used to a pattern, you do something out of the ordinary to interupt the routine. Instead of going up and asking all these questions that are expected in tha setting, maybe give your own opinion on something? Thats me paraphrasing the article




Some other tips on talking

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/starting.htm
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/talktowomen.htm


Alright im just procrastinating gettin in the field by doin alla dis research Im out, still stuck at two for now, but i should change that hopefully

EDIT: Alright I walked out the door after reading all those and froze up on some jailbait outside waiting for a bus :crackup: I asked 1-2 questions and then didnt have any kind of follow up...Gotta keep her in my reality instead of jumping into hers like I did.

I got one in school from some chick in my group discussion who i never spoke to. I got transferred to class late and skipped a couple so yes, she counts, lol

There was a teacher who i talked to twice for about a minute each encounter in the hallway. It was actually a great flowing conversations, really high paced, but I wont count that convo unless I am low at the end of the week

Its crazy cuz sittin outside i swear I got like 25 hi's for the simple fact that they are no longer good enough. I naturally say hi and it feels so much better than acting like you dont see the person. Now when someone says Hi, i feel it out to see if I can stretch it into a convo.

Convo tally 3/10

 

[Dustin]

ok so far I'm 3/10 met this chick keeping score at a game I was coaching lmao...It was pretty ackwars because me and my fried(othe coach) got dressed up in suits and everythign as a joke It happened lol...I'd say the convo last a few hours befroe we left.

Read up to the top for my first 2.

 

[GinandTonic]

alright i'm at 3/10

on friday after i finished my exam (which i bent over and railed like a dirty tijuana hooker), i was walking back to rez with my buddy looking for something to do (apparently a lot of people had an economics exam the next morning, so it was pretty dead all around). anyways, we see these two girls on the street outside our dorm (an HB7 and an HB8), so we go over and strike up a conversation with them.

it turns out that they're actually from the same residence as us, and that they were going out to a bar. so after we go and chill for a bit in one of their rooms, they end up inviting us to go out with them. although i'm sorta resistant to the idea (i know, i know, completely against what this BC is about, but i was pretty beat after my calculus exam), my friend - being the horndog that he is (thank god for that) - ends up dragging me out with the girls.

well i'm not gonna go into detail on how it went down, but i'll just say it went decent. when we were waiting in line, my buddy got sorta separated from us and both girls were giving me some decent IOI's (they were giving me lots of kino, laughing at all my stupid jokes, stuff like that). anyways, i go into the bar with the two girls and we're just chillin for a bit when my friend finally shows up, only to have his fake ID rejected. so, not wanting do be a d*ck, i told the girls goodnight and left with him.

on a somewhat unrelated note, the cab driver on the way back was ****ing hilarious. he was talking about girls cheating on guys because their d*cks were too small, and other interesting subjects.

on saturday i went on a liquor run with two friends, and on the way back i started talking to this really fat chick sitting beside me on the bus. anyways, i started joking about randon stuff with her, but since she laughed exactly like a duck i ended up concentrating all my energy on not bursting out laughing everytime she chuckled.

other than that i've been sorta lazy. this laziness isn't too good, since this part of BC is especially important for me. striking up convo's with random strangers has always been a sticking point with me, and this is one aspect i definitely wanna get over.

 

[gab01]

something's holding me back from initiating conversations with people. their faces are just too.. blank! like they're lost deep in their thoughts. or they're trying to avoid all contact.. you know how people are these days.. they're very suspicious of strangers. this is true especially inside public transpos.

maybe it's one of those false beliefs (like when you talk to a girl, her boyfriend will beat you up). i need to get past this hurdle otherwise i'll fail this week. i'll make it a point to open no matter what!

anyway, i got 2 today. one was while queuing up for the ticket and the other was a short convo about my bag. i greeted the ladies (young / old) happy vday after i initiate EC. some hellos here and there.

i need to step it up. i'll read the literature posted by mic fiend (thanks for doing so, btw) tomorrow.

3/10

 

[JC9]

3/10 now.

This is much harder than I thought.

Going to have to spend alot more time out to finish this week on schedule.

I thought I could get into good convo's on my lunch breaks, but people are all rushing about and I have had very marginal success.

Think it's time to hit up some bookstores and cafe's. Maybe, if im really lagging behind I'll hit up a bar thursday night; those are always easy for convo's but sorta like cheating.

How about everyone else, what have been your best locals for conversations?

 

[Microphone Fiend]

yo fellas... got 1 more today...at a busstop with some tourists, that brings my total to 4/10. I had one that couldnt have been more than a minute and a half at a atm with a cheery lady who joked about letting me go in front of her if she got some of what i withdrew...I really tried to stretch it but to no avail.

Gab: that sounds like a page right out of "Zen and the Art of Motorcyle maintenance" lol. You are right about the looks i think. Sometimes I put that face on even tho i really want to talk to someone, and then when the person opens me Im like YAY. Try opening them to see if they're same.

JC9: I usally just go about my daily business and if that doesnt get me any approaches I start to wonder and look around. Get in those situations where you can remember consciously saying "Man this is boring and that HB wants to talk to me, I can feel it" those areas where its just like 1-2 people work best for me. Like in a store that isnt frequented by many, waiting for a bus stop where you talk to pass time, when you need advice on something, etc. Try something like buying a shirt (or just pretending to have bought one) and asking for female opinions on it. Chicks love giving out info on style and dumb ish like that. I was going to do this today but by the time I had brought the zippered-sweater thingy i was ready to head home

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Today was a good day

*watches tumbleweed blow through*

DAAAAYUUUUMMMMM where is everyone?

Yall fellas cant abandon ship...I dunno how good or bad you are doing but there is till time left! Stay in the field until you get that sweet success! Thats what I've been doing...Just looking for a conversation...and when my head is saying..."arrggghhhh, this person isnt even worth opening" I shut him up and open

Today I got a conversation with a janitor who was installing light fixtures in an empty computer lab. I said some stuff about gettin them for my house after findin out their cheaper than regular lightbulbs and last longer...this one was about 2 minutes conversation

Next I was sitting in the hallway and this older chubby chick sits next to me. I do a quick glance in her vicinity and she says what you reading or something. I one word answer her and then I had to damn near talk myself into reopening the girl. I get into a convo about childcare which is her major and we both take turns reinitiate the convo during pauses (I had to make sure it made the 2 minute time limit ) It ended up being like 7-10 min convo at least.

Last was when my friend was in another computer room, and there was another guy who apparently he had just met too. Shot the sh!t with him for a bit and then bounced. Longer conversation then the other two, but not as detailed or flowing really. We were both studyin and talking during breaks or lapses.


Convo total: 7/10

 

[stubbornlights]

Yikes.
I'm 3/10 for convo's now. Time to get moving. Later this week, I'm headed to the malls with a wing so it'll work out (hopefully).

--Sketchy Field Report--
On the public transit to college today, I struck up conversation with some dude sitting across from me. It wound up being the only real scenario that I had imagined that I really didn't want to stumble into.

It started just casually, with a "hello" and some banal comments on weather and school. But after the first few moments, it was clear this guy was a bit kooked out. I contemplated cutting the conversation off, but the guy was pretty burly and I'm pretty sure he was on drugs.

Here's some of what was said, SD stands for 'sketchy dude':


ME: Yeah man, it's a pretty cold morning. But yeah, school hey? What's your major?
SD: Oh dudde, I'm a music major. But I remember this time in Winnepeg, I was in Mel's apartment, and I farted and she was like, "dude you stink!" AHAHAHA!!!
ME: Uhhh... ok
SD: But you know what, it's those IBM nets that I love! They're much better than oranges.
ME: What are IBM nets?
SD: THE INTERNET! gahh, AHAHA!! But like those Mac mini's. That shyttt's EFFED UP!!.
ME: yeahhh... they're pretty small.
SD: Did you know this one time, I smashed a guitar, TO PIECES, and then I put everything together again, and it played, and I didn't use tools and it was in tune!
ME: That's incredible. (Very scared. Just replying so he doesn't hurt me at this point. In secluded part of transit, early morning, few other people on board)
SD: But F***k dude, it's so much better than when I had pneumonia. That was effed.

So the guy was completely disconnected. His pupils were huge, and everything he said made no sense. It was absurd and random, he jumped from memory to memory assuming rapport with me (Nice DJ skill, haha), and he was really confident too. Bah! When I got off transit, the bloke followed me for a bit. I managed to sneak away from him when he was trying to feed chalk he had in his pocket to kill some stray cat that was wandering around.

After enduring this, I DEFINITELY think HB10's will be a breeeeze. This was easily one of the most bizarre conversations I've had in my life. It lasted about half an hour, and I was freaked out walking around campus with this dude following me. Tomorrow, hopefully I'll be fortunate enough to encounter a really hot one as opposed to scary frightening insane people.

Keep sarging, everyone!

 

[JC9]

Alright,

Week 2 is almost done. Im 8/10 right now.

I went out last night with the attitude that people want to be opened up and talked to.

The 4 I did last night didn't even start with eye contact. I simply spotted a girl I wanted to talk to, walked over and started chatting her up. It was mostly fluff talk, about the weather changing or what she was studying but it worked.

One thing that has occured to me this week is a flawed internal belief I have. When people talk to me randomly I am always wondering what their angle is, what they want, etc. This frame of mind definately hurts my ability to go out and be social since I subconciously think people will see me talking to them the same way.

Credit bristollair.com for the link, but check out http://www.emofree.com/ for the emotional therapy thing. It's a bit unorthadox but effective. It's a combination of affirmations, like 'I am not afraid to approach attractive women' mixed with pressure point stimulation. Give it a look if your having approach anxiety like I was.

Going to get the last 2 today. Good luck to those still finishing out the week.

 

[Dustin]

I'm definaly 10/10 now, Hit the school dance last night. I was a little wussy till I came her turrns out dancing with random girls and talking to them wasn't as hard as Ithought. I was dancing with grads and everything and I'm only 15. Everyone wanted me when I got home I had at least 3 or 4 chicks add me on MSN, which I barely use lol. So I got there numbers and junk. Needless to say I'm pumped and waiting for next weeks mission!