New situation/girl (advice?)

[YoungHOV]

Ok, so this girl I met at school a couple weeks ago that is from my home town asked me out to lunch or coffee yesterday. I consider the girl asking an IOI, and I agreed to meet her for lunch today. I have never hung out with this girl before, I just talked to her at a bar a couple times and got her number.

During lunch, I noticed several other signals:
-touched her neck several times
-played with her hair sporadically
-played with her necklace
-played with the two rings on one of her finger, twisting and moving them around
-good eye contact
-laughing at a lot of my comments/stories

When the bill came, I guess the waitress assumed we were a couple and put it on one check (why do they do that anyway?). She got out her wallet and after some talking it's clear that her family is well off, but I said that I've got it, it wasn't an expensive lunch. Also, the fact that the girl was actually willing to pay her share earns her major points in my book and makes me more willing to pay because it's not expected of me. She insisted on getting the tip and asked if I wanted a coffee at the nearby coffee house.

We got drinks and sat down and talked some more, and I noticed more of the same IOI signals. I am having a party tomorrow night at my house and invited her to come with some friends if she wanted (she's single, and specifically said she would talk to her girl friends). She told me to give her my address later, so I texted her and she responded saying she had a good time and thanks for paying for lunch that was sweet.

Now, I KNOW everyone says when a girl says you're sweet that means friend-zoned, but all of the other signals point to her being interested. Also, she didn't say that I was sweet, she said my action was sweet, and I think there is a difference in that.

I guess we'll see if she comes tomorrow how interested she is, but any thoughts?

 

[rocket87]

you're reading too much into it. she's obviously into you, you need to escalate and get her 1 on 1 later after your party or another day next week. and you need to start kino/touching/physically escalating..

just let it happen, don't think so deep about everything. don't give her the credit that she could be LTR material, for all you know she could have a weenie or aids (this will help your mindset that you have options, you having options = attractive)

 

[bigneil]

It's not if she says you are sweet that is bad. It's if she says you are nice.

Or did I miss something?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110107023851AA3CT9T

 

[EvilAgenda]

Nothing wrong with her saying you are sweet (or that was sweet). Take it as a compliment.

If she persists saying you are sweet, tell her she is sour.

Good luck, stud, she is into you.

 

[Tiguere]

How come you didn't go for the kiss?

 

[IamJosan]

You should've let her pay for you. When girls do things for guys, they value them more because they had to work for it.

 

[Chickfight]

It's all about context bro. Don't let yourself get so consumed by thoughts of game that you can't just feel the vibe. If she's says "you're sweet" after you just poured your heart out to her, then yeah you're friendzoned. If she says "you're sweet" after you make her breakfast the morning after you fvcked her brains out, you're money. Hence the oft quoted "Judge her by her actions, not her words"

Let me clarify that some actions are expressed through words. If she says "ok, I'll come over to your place". Her action is submitting herself to your will and desire. If she says "oh, I can't make it tonight, I have to wash my hair", her action is blowing you off and disrespecting you. You have to judge her by her actions, but also learn to see the true actions behind her words, the particular words don't matter. In this case the action behind her saying "that was sweet." was showing love and appreciation after you had a great time together. So it's all good.

She's IN too you, relax and have fun.

 

[YoungHOV]

You should've let her pay for you. When girls do things for guys, they value them more because they had to work for it.

I guess I am old fashioned that way, even though I'm young. To me, her going for her wallet when the check came and telling me she doesn't mind paying means she values me enough to pay another time.

How come you didn't go for the kiss?

I don't know really, it just felt too informal getting lunch and coffee, but if she comes over tonight I am definitely going for it.

 

[YoungHOV]

I guess I am old fashioned that way, even though I'm young. To me, her going for her wallet when the check came and telling me she doesn't mind paying means she values me enough to pay another time.



I don't know really, it just felt too informal getting lunch and coffee, but if she comes over tonight I am definitely going for it.

Update here: she didn't come over that one night because she was still kind of suck, and I ended up going back to school for a couple weeks so I didn't see her after our lunch. In keeping with the two strike rule, I asked her to dinner tonight since I was going to be home for a couple days, and she said yes.

Her car broke down, so she asked me to pick her up. I obliged, and once we got in the car on our way to dinner she started kino-ing me! She touched my shoulder once, then touched my shoulder again and rubbed/squeezed it a few minutes later. Dinner went well, and our conversations were thoughtful and interesting, which is a huge turn on and great quality for me, as I need a woman who can keep up with me intellectually. At one point, we got on the subject of careers and she knows I plan on becoming a CPA when I graduate next year. So, she was like "well you can help me with my taxes then"--normally I would just be like "yeah I probably can", tonight I said "hey now I'm a busy man" (I felt very Alpha/dominant saying this to her) and she said "well I know nothing about money/finances so how about I cook you dinner for it?" she also explicitly said "next time I see you". I paid for dinner since I asked her out, but she insisted on getting the tip.

I'm having another party tomorrow night, and after dinner I asked what she wanted to do. She said "how about I for sure come over tomorrow, and just go to bed early tonight since I have class tomorrow morning? then we can get super drunk and I can just spend the night if that's ok?" Of course it is

As I drove her home, we continued to talk until we pulled up to her house. She thanked me for dinner, and hugged me. As she pulled away and her face was close to mine, I just went in and kissed her, because **** it I'm going back down to school for the next 2 months. She grabbed my face and immediately started kissing back with tongue, and we made out for a good 30 seconds to a minute. Then she pulled away, and I said "see you tomorrow night?" "yes i will be there"

 

[Gamtiwia]

She's a keeper. It's good to know that things are going well. Just do your best to have fun. I'll say this though, next time a girl offers to pay for dinner, JUST LET HER. When a woman woman does things like pay for dinner or buy you gifts, she's upping her investment in the relationship and upping her investment in you.

You're on your way...you're already half way there

 

[YoungHOV]

She's a keeper. It's good to know that things are going well. Just do your best to have fun. I'll say this though, next time a girl offers to pay for dinner, JUST LET HER. When a woman woman does things like pay for dinner or buy you gifts, she's upping her investment in the relationship and upping her investment in you.

You're on your way...you're already half way there

Yeah, after last night I've realized we have a lot in common, but I'm just keeping it casual for now. Next time we go out, I'll let her pay, but after tonight I'm not sure when I'll see her again.

 

[Gamtiwia]

Yeah, after last night I've realized we have a lot in common, but I'm just keeping it casual for now. Next time we go out, I'll let her pay, but after tonight I'm not sure when I'll see her again.

Keeping it casual is proly best but seeing as you don't know when you'll see her again I guess it can't hurt to keep in touch

 

[YoungHOV]

Keeping it casual is proly best but seeing as you don't know when you'll see her again I guess it can't hurt to keep in touch

Any comments on the conversation pieces is appreciated. Since people were saying that letting her buy stuff ups her investment, when she was on her way over she asked if she needed to get anything so I had her get some drinks. Not buying dinner, but I think the point stands.

She came to the party, but got ****faced and threw up all night LOL. I was pretty hammered too, but the next morning when we woke up she went into the bathroom to use some Listerine...OK, I can take a hint here, and I follow suit.

We started making out/dry humping, and the clothes come off.

"WOW! You have a huge penis....I think that's the biggest one I've ever seen"--if that doesn't keep her around, what will :yes:

We didn't have sex (and in my opinion, it's good to have something to build up to instead of just ****ing the first time), but I got a good ******* and she has AMAZING tits on a slender frame. She said she is scared to have sex with me because she thinks it will hurt, but she was talking about coming down to visit me on a weekend or something. She ended up hanging out at my house throughout the day before she had to go to work. Very cool/laidback girl that takes care of her body, and we think similarly.

Her: "Do you have a crush on me?"
Me: "What is this 6th grade?"--didn't real

She also asked a couple questions like "if we were in a relationship.." -->not sure what to think of this, other than she's evaluating my responses in terms of what she wants in a long-term partner.

Later on when we were just hanging out, she was like "I can see you in 10 years, extremely successful with a smoking hot wife...I'll bet you could get any girl you wanted your penis is so big." Hmmm...wonder if she's into me at all?!

 

[Gamtiwia]

Any comments on the conversation pieces is appreciated. Since people were saying that letting her buy stuff ups her investment, when she was on her way over she asked if she needed to get anything so I had her get some drinks. Not buying dinner, but I think the point stands.

She came to the party, but got ****faced and threw up all night LOL. I was pretty hammered too, but the next morning when we woke up she went into the bathroom to use some Listerine...OK, I can take a hint here, and I follow suit.

We started making out/dry humping, and the clothes come off.

"WOW! You have a huge penis....I think that's the biggest one I've ever seen"--if that doesn't keep her around, what will :yes:

We didn't have sex (and in my opinion, it's good to have something to build up to instead of just ****ing the first time), but I got a good ******* and she has AMAZING tits on a slender frame. She said she is scared to have sex with me because she thinks it will hurt, but she was talking about coming down to visit me on a weekend or something. She ended up hanging out at my house throughout the day before she had to go to work. Very cool/laidback girl that takes care of her body, and we think similarly.

Her: "Do you have a crush on me?"
Me: "What is this 6th grade?"--didn't real

She also asked a couple questions like "if we were in a relationship.." -->not sure what to think of this, other than she's evaluating my responses in terms of what she wants in a long-term partner.

Later on when we were just hanging out, she was like "I can see you in 10 years, extremely successful with a smoking hot wife...I'll bet you could get any girl you wanted your penis is so big." Hmmm...wonder if she's into me at all?!

I definitely think she's into you especially if that "smoking hot wife" she was referring to was her. Not ENTIRELY sure about her but I'm looking to see when you're going to do or say something definitively that makes the two of you exclusive. You did say you would keep things casual but when she asks "if we were in a relationship.." it seems like she was fishing for definite answer maybe. Maybe she wants to level up the relationship. The question is do you? The state of the current relationship (maybe even from her perspective) is ambiguous and in need of clarity. Decide what role you want her to play in your life: friend, friend with benefits, fling or girlfriend. Decide and confirm that role with her.

Her: "Do you have a crush on me?"
Me: "What is this 6th grade?"

Definitely think this was a good answer. After all both of you are way past the "crush" phase.

 

[YoungHOV]

I definitely think she's into you especially if that "smoking hot wife" she was referring to was her. Not ENTIRELY sure about her but I'm looking to see when you're going to do or say something definitively that makes the two of you exclusive. You did say you would keep things casual but when she asks "if we were in a relationship.." it seems like she was fishing for definite answer maybe. Maybe she wants to level up the relationship. The question is do you? The state of the current relationship (maybe even from her perspective) is ambiguous and in need of clarity. Decide what role you want her to play in your life: friend, friend with benefits, fling or girlfriend. Decide and confirm that role with her.

Her: "Do you have a crush on me?"
Me: "What is this 6th grade?"

Definitely think this was a good answer. After all both of you are way past the "crush" phase.

When we were hanging out she did say that she enjoys being in a relationship, and like anything else, there are pros and cons, just as there are to being single.

There is a good chance I will end up in the same city as her next year for a job, and my opinion on a distance relationship is that it can work if both people are committed and there is an eventual end to the distance. As I said, she is a very cool girl, and I really enjoyed spending time with her. We seem to agree on a lot of moral issues, which is good for long-term compatibility I suppose. I am just not the kind of guy to get into relationships unless I intend to be in them for a long time, so while I think there is definite long-term potential with her, I can't say for sure yet, though I definitely want to see her again.

 

[Gamtiwia]

When we were hanging out she did say that she enjoys being in a relationship, and like anything else, there are pros and cons, just as there are to being single.

There is a good chance I will end up in the same city as her next year for a job, and my opinion on a distance relationship is that it can work if both people are committed and there is an eventual end to the distance. As I said, she is a very cool girl, and I really enjoyed spending time with her. We seem to agree on a lot of moral issues, which is good for long-term compatibility I suppose. I am just not the kind of guy to get into relationships unless I intend to be in them for a long time, so while I think there is definite long-term potential with her, I can't say for sure yet, though I definitely want to see her again.

I guess at the end of the day you have to do what makes you comfortable. Nothing's wrong with weighing your options bro. You've got time. You say you want to see her again so even if there's a physical distance between you two ensure there isn't an emotional distance.