ApolloCreed
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2012
- Messages
- 30
- Reaction score
- 1
Started dating a chick mid January (my first posts on here referred to this specific girl), and I'm trying to assess her value level. First exclusive relationship in 5 years, but I've got a lot of experience with dating, so when I spot red flags I don't forget them easily.
Ok, a bit about her/us: she's attractive, intelligent, with a very good career. She pushed for exclusivity, then eventually recently asked me to be her boyfriend. We currently spend around 4 nights a week together, and she goes all out for me in terms of both the bedroom and doing unexpected sweet things/buying me ****/inviting me places with her friends (who I've overheard talking very favourably about me). FYI, she's admitted to cheating in past relationships, as have I.
Now, before I explain some points of interest I must disclose that I'm secretly suspicious and skeptical with pretty much every girl I date, mainly due to a long history of cheating and being cheated on. I keep this aspect of my personality hidden, so this new girlfriend likely has almost zero idea I'm having doubts.
Red Flags/stuff I've noticed:
- Initially played a good girl routine until I told her to drop the act. I'm no saint and far from naive.
- Spotted inconsistencies and lies about past dating history (including only recently finding out she was 'casually seeing' someone at the time we met). I know this is something girls often do and not necessarily indicative, but it makes you wonder.
- Lives in a mixed sex share house, with one of the guys acting strange and almost hostile towards me.
- Was meant to be meeting me and friends for dinner on the 2nd day of starting a new job. Text me saying she'd be late due to a meeting at 5pm. Asked her how it went around 7.30pm and she gave a weird, avoidant response. Saw a couple of call logs and a text between her and a guy on that day saying "en-route now, meet at >company HQ< at 4pm". Her job involves a lot of coordinating people, and this guy may well innocently be a team member or her boss, but who knows.
- Her and her friend came to a party being hosted by some dude I know (friend of a friend). Her friend was sick, so she took her upstairs to lay down. This guy followed them upstairs after 5 mins, and was gone for maybe 20-30 mins. Didn't think anything of it, until a couple of hours later he was asking me if I'm with "that girl". As we left his house, my girlfriend told him she'd "send him those contacts" (we were all briefly talking about work at one point, but there was no swapping of numbers). The next day I casually asked if she sent this guy the contacts, and she said she doesn't have his contact details, which seemed odd considering her departing statement. This guy lives next door to a lot of my very close female friends, so it would be real risky for him to try anything on my chick, but it's not implausible.
- Bit of a flirt when we're out and she's drunk, but I suppose not really more than your average chick.
- Regularly leaves her phone laying around next to me unlocked, and her facebook logged in on my computer. Being the ******* that I am, of course I took a look. Couple of messages of guys hitting on her, but her rejecting them saying she has a boyfriend. However, I have spotted her deleting text messages while holding her phone out my my view. Makes me wonder if she purposefully leaves stuff laying around when she knows there wont be anything untoward to be found.
- Recently realised her phone is a DualSim (you can switch between 2 numbers). This makes me curious, but doesn't necessarily mean much considering she's had the phone before I was on the scene.
So what's your verdict? Shall I give her the benefit of the doubt and write it off as me being overly suspicious, keep monitoring, or just full on dump her? My experience tells me that gut instincts usually have something to them, but I've long been a known pessimist when it comes to relationships. I definitely find being a man***** much less complicated.
FYI I still have lots of interest from other girls, and being single is fine by me - which is why I need to know that I'm not giving it all up for a stealth slut.
Outside perspectives appreciated!
Ok, a bit about her/us: she's attractive, intelligent, with a very good career. She pushed for exclusivity, then eventually recently asked me to be her boyfriend. We currently spend around 4 nights a week together, and she goes all out for me in terms of both the bedroom and doing unexpected sweet things/buying me ****/inviting me places with her friends (who I've overheard talking very favourably about me). FYI, she's admitted to cheating in past relationships, as have I.
Now, before I explain some points of interest I must disclose that I'm secretly suspicious and skeptical with pretty much every girl I date, mainly due to a long history of cheating and being cheated on. I keep this aspect of my personality hidden, so this new girlfriend likely has almost zero idea I'm having doubts.
Red Flags/stuff I've noticed:
- Initially played a good girl routine until I told her to drop the act. I'm no saint and far from naive.
- Spotted inconsistencies and lies about past dating history (including only recently finding out she was 'casually seeing' someone at the time we met). I know this is something girls often do and not necessarily indicative, but it makes you wonder.
- Lives in a mixed sex share house, with one of the guys acting strange and almost hostile towards me.
- Was meant to be meeting me and friends for dinner on the 2nd day of starting a new job. Text me saying she'd be late due to a meeting at 5pm. Asked her how it went around 7.30pm and she gave a weird, avoidant response. Saw a couple of call logs and a text between her and a guy on that day saying "en-route now, meet at >company HQ< at 4pm". Her job involves a lot of coordinating people, and this guy may well innocently be a team member or her boss, but who knows.
- Her and her friend came to a party being hosted by some dude I know (friend of a friend). Her friend was sick, so she took her upstairs to lay down. This guy followed them upstairs after 5 mins, and was gone for maybe 20-30 mins. Didn't think anything of it, until a couple of hours later he was asking me if I'm with "that girl". As we left his house, my girlfriend told him she'd "send him those contacts" (we were all briefly talking about work at one point, but there was no swapping of numbers). The next day I casually asked if she sent this guy the contacts, and she said she doesn't have his contact details, which seemed odd considering her departing statement. This guy lives next door to a lot of my very close female friends, so it would be real risky for him to try anything on my chick, but it's not implausible.
- Bit of a flirt when we're out and she's drunk, but I suppose not really more than your average chick.
- Regularly leaves her phone laying around next to me unlocked, and her facebook logged in on my computer. Being the ******* that I am, of course I took a look. Couple of messages of guys hitting on her, but her rejecting them saying she has a boyfriend. However, I have spotted her deleting text messages while holding her phone out my my view. Makes me wonder if she purposefully leaves stuff laying around when she knows there wont be anything untoward to be found.
- Recently realised her phone is a DualSim (you can switch between 2 numbers). This makes me curious, but doesn't necessarily mean much considering she's had the phone before I was on the scene.
So what's your verdict? Shall I give her the benefit of the doubt and write it off as me being overly suspicious, keep monitoring, or just full on dump her? My experience tells me that gut instincts usually have something to them, but I've long been a known pessimist when it comes to relationships. I definitely find being a man***** much less complicated.
FYI I still have lots of interest from other girls, and being single is fine by me - which is why I need to know that I'm not giving it all up for a stealth slut.
Outside perspectives appreciated!
