new BC - I BET it works - join in !!!

[Mikers]

hey dj'ers
im joining the crew!
I've read this **** for a while, applied some of it, but my llife got messy and it stagnated my progress. Kinda sucks i halted from some obstacles in life but im now PERMANENTLY back in the game!
I'm starting tomorrow so ill keep you guys posted from then!

All the best in your search for the numbers.
keep it up.

Mike

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 2b, day 1

well folks,
have to admit that I spend 2-3 days with my famous old time-wasters & that I didn't do my BC-job. It's very dangerous, since this could be the first signs of giving up, so be aware!

I had the same impression upon completion of week 1, when I took a 1-day holiday. The new habits and skills are still fresh & fragile. Maybe the success was saturating me or I was afraid of my own abilities to come.

However, I managed the turn-around from the wrong direction. Phew! Since I did not complete week 2, and was not soo satisfied either with staying cool and having fun, I will repeat this excersice, i.e. week 2b. I hope I can manage in less than a week, in which case I will step to week 3 immideatly.

I think it was konfuzius who said that there a 3 ways to act the right way:
1) from thinking, the most noble way
2) from copying, the easiest way
and 3) from experience, the hardest way.

I hope this post can be an inspiration for you if YOUR little devils show up.

So today: 1 "real" convo, reasonable EC and HI, still further improvement in group-situation desired (entering a room full of people etc.)

1 down, 9 to go

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[Mikers]

Keep hanging in there man, and whatever you do.. IGNORE the little man in your head saying your not capable of anything! lol
He's got to me too at times.
I'm still in week 1 but ive done done a few approaches and the 3 second rule, doing approaches straight away from impulse is the only way ive been able to do it confidently.
Nervousness often comes from hesitation :S

Looking forward to seeing more don juan trainee's progress'

Mike

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 2b, days 2-3

First of all thanks for your encouragement, Mikers. Good luck with your camp!

my progress:
day 2:0
day 3: 3 convos >2min, one additional I didn't count since the guy approached me (probably doin' the BC ). 2 rather AFCs and an older lady. Some nice starters (also) with girls, but the follow-up is still difficult for me (to extend to 2-10 min.), i get a bit uncomfortable. This training is just what I needed.

EC and Hi come quite naturally now, I do not have to force myself. Just sometimes to get a boost when I feel like.

Overall I'm much more communicative, even though my motivation is a bit lower than before the break on the weekend. I got to read some more of the motivational stuff tomorrow (also WMS) & recapture my dream.

So 4 down, 6 to go on four days.

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[Mikers]

Goodluck with yours too mate.

I know what you mean by the EC and greetings, its come natural for me too.
I went to a buddhist meditation course today, got in around 10 conversations with ten people today and met much more people which helped with confidence. Too bad week 2 starts tommorow for me though lol. Oh well the more experience and effort the better i'll get.
I noticed due to my attempt in making a friendly and helpful nature when i was there i got a few looks from some of the ladies there, and one lady who seemed to show interest in me gave me the looks when i was making this other girl laugh a little.
I mean cmon, this is what ive imagined and heard about but now ive seen it for my own eyes. Guys, believe in it! I'm in week 1 and already some of it is working.

All the best fellow dj'ers.

Mike

 

[MoveYourAss...]

Week 2b, day 4-5

One more thing to last post. I had a quick chat with a girl which stood beside me on a dancing event. In commented a questien without EC. She turned around with (in the first moment) a face like total disgust. The face lifted to normal mode when she saw me (which in her case wasn't pretty or happy either, as I only realized then), she didn't really answer and asked back immediately. I answered. End of convo ( I didn't insist,too)
I failed the shyt test on a stupid one who had (in my eyes) absolutely no justification (better: excuse) to be arrogant at all. When I realized what just happend (a bit later) I found it absolutely hilarious.
Ok, I failed but I talked her up AND had the chance to learn in PRESENT reality how important it is to stay on top of the game, i.e. C&F. Her loss anyway... ;-)

Yesterday I was too tired and stayed home = 0.

I was often thinking about my past experiences like.. oh shyt, what did you fool do there
No I can more and more see my past-life as an exceptionally hilarious AFC-comedy full of exagerations and can actually laugh about it (well, more and more... don't YOU dare... just kidding)

Today started well:
1st success: I just sat on the table of another guy. Did this already, but was shy about it and only did it if there was no free table. He was talking on the phone for quiet a while I was reading.
2nd success: Started a convo with him about his accent. We talked about where we lived before and he didn't like it there and thats why he came over here. When I left he told me that such a convo would not have taken place in the place he lived before... what an AFC ;-) (arrogant grin, ironic here!).Told him that he has to do it himself, that sometimes you get rejected and sometimes not.

Points to improve:
-Still talking to the AFCs, i.e. ordinary people (?).
-still finishing their thoughts, i.e. bringing it to the point. I feel PRETTY smart ;-), but I think they don't. It is a good thing SOMETIMES,though.
- Want to get more relaxed and PATIENT during convos, specially in the beginning. This is already on the way though.

5 convos to go

goin' out now, dancing event

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[Mikers]

MoveYourAss, seems like your making real progress. By that i mean you are aware of what you need to work on, which is what it's all about, self improvement. I know i have lots of faults too but this BC should set us straight!

You want to relax? Meditate! lol just kidding.

Mike

 

[MoveYourAss...]

end of week 2b

I' m going out now for a short time, but it seems I failed my quota for this week. I did make consideryble progress, however (and was a strict jury. The subject of last week is already very established, I'd easily reach the 50 HI/week now. The talking to strangers will also further improve in the future, I'm not giving up training there.

I'm going to proceed to week 3 anyway, since this is the challenge now. I actually feel that is QUITE a challenge.
I'm a bit nervous about it, but hey, talking to females I would consider to date is part of it, and I want to transform this into FUN for the rest of my life.

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[Mikers]

Dont worry about it man, if you reallly give it 110% this time round you will feel much better and more confident.

Yesterday went to the royal show here in perth, which is like a festival. Now, you would think a festival would bring out the best in people.. To my suprise i couldnt get many holding eye contacts, not even many conversations, especially with the girls. Not to mention most were pretty young lol

But apart from that i got a few lasting conversations, one with a older woman who gave me free tickets to some of the rides! I guess it does pay off conversing with strangers in the end

Today i went to get my licence done (yep im a youngin - 18), and i wouldnt of thought it but there was quite a few HB's there.
I approached two girls, one was a 6, the other i'd say 8.5. Both seemed to have a interest in me, but the 8.5 more so.
Both me and the 8.5 (her name was porsha), did our test to get our licence at the same time. So while we were waiting we conversed some more, she kept asking me questions (a good sign ) then when the man at the desk announced we both passed i iniated some kino i'm like "double high five!", then, our fingers connected (which she iniated)and i felt like just hugging here but i didnt. Her mum was there.. Nice wuss out Mike! lol
Either way she was responding back, another good sign.
Speaking of parents, it made it harder to ask for her number! Which now when i look back on it is stupid i should have just pulled her away and asked(i mean told) for her number.
Oh well there's my 2 cents for today.

Keep the quest for numbers all.

Mike

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 3, day 1

a) first I choked even on the HI's
b) then I found the most boring person in the world. It's not me
. Talking to him in a bar. I could see many of the mistakes I used to do (long ago)
c) then I did my first real choke on the possibility to chat to a dateable. So this is done. I also experienced the truth of the 3-second rule.

So the week started low, 6 days to go.
Today will be a nice day, I will go & chat up some tourist-sweeties.

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[Mikers]

i just got home and approached a girl on the bus seat below me. Now im feeling more confident.
I felt nervous just planning to do it but i did it. And i felt what some have already stated... The more nervous you will get the more will you gain (in satisfaction?). It also feels fresh, stimulating, doing it nervously. Just enjoy the feeling and think on your feet and say anything on the spot, worked for me Just say to yourself "Ok. This is your opportunity, the worst she can do is, is... ignore you?! lol and even if she does do that, at least you had the balls to approach her"
Plus since your doing this BC to improve yourself, you need a foundation of experiences to work from. Thus why you approach no matter how arwkward it seems.
Of course when the nerves fade away over time after doing 1000 times, i wont be complaining and dig my calm cool collectedness self, and im sure after 1000 times you will too

Happy hunting MoveYourAss.

Mike

 

[Mikers]

day 4, things are looking up.

Approached two more girls today, one by herself the other with a friend. First approach the chick id say a 6/7, she seemed eager just to talk. Which didn't bother me. Although she was at least 4 years older than me but hey i should have just tried for the number close anyway.
You see, i havent really number closed yet with any of my subjects.. which will form bad habits in future if im not careful i'll bet.
Second approach the girl (assuming partly due to being with a friend) didnt really open up well. So after about 2 mins of convo with pauses , i made my way out of there!


I have to admit after reading the material and really trying to apply the DJ mindset things are already coming a bit natural to me. Still a long journey yet though
And i dont know about you, but after the first approach you just want to do more and more. And i could have but its the other opportunities seemed a bit outta the way. Like when a girl was sitting a few seats ahead on the bus, and i WOULD have felt stupid going all the way to sit next to her which will already clearly states my intentions... But i have to ask myself, SO WHAT? Whats the harm in trying yeah? You never know until you really do. I cant always rely on what you guys post, but make my own conclusions after DOING IT!!!!

Any feedback on situations like those would be handy though. lol

I guess i should just do it anyway and get up and just sit next to her DAMN IT!

I also got some eye contact back from a goth hottie (7.5), yet another opportunity missed! Should have just asked is this seat taken? then proceed from there.

Improvements to work on:
Focusing on being myself (confidently),
Finding more topics of conversations
Using compliments
Use different openers instead of "hows your day been" or "Hey, Do you have the time?" (hidden agenda)
Just enjoy it!
Sit next to and/or close to any chick you fancy practicing on.

Anyways goodluck in your own efforts.

Mike

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 3, day 2-3

Mike: congrats, you are taking the first steps without much fuss.

My own situation

day 2:0
day 3:0-1

difficult to say, didn't take my book of notes.
its really difficult since I still have too high standards (in an AFC-way). It's good to keep to your standards but I also have to see other real options, not dreams. I'm not giving up the aim to get those ones in the long run, however. Nor am I going for the ugly ones. It's just that it's also nice with some reasonable beatiful, but funny & horny ones.

I did make nice progress in talking to chicks at all, initiating convo with them, and I found out: They do NOT bite, and its not really a problem at all. i know, i know, but I really had to relearn this, it seems. perfect BC-design, again.

Week3 is nearly half over and I have maybe 1, but my hopes are still placed on the weekend. I also realized that I have to practive on the not-so-hot-ones, and that this really helps me to get more comfortable and relaxed. I was in AFC-mode for quite some years.

Most of the time I tried to do cold street approaches, since I found that there is lots of fluctuation -> more interesting ones. If you go & have a coffee there is only a limited amount of options. In order to fulfill the BC-requirements it is necessary for me to go clubbing more, since I'm not in college or other campus.

MoveYourA$$...and your brain will follow

 

[Mikers]

Yeah going to the clubs is a sure way.
Check this out
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56120&perpage=20&pagenumber=1
It's nailed it! Must read

Mike

 

[Mikers]

Well just got home from clubbing. Interesting experience tonight.. to say the least lol. I'll go on..
First waiting at the line, approached two chicks one was a 7, the other 5. Forgot their names, i didnt really care. Talked about cars, and drinks and stuff. Anyway made the 7 laugh a bit but after about what seemed to be 5 mins i couldnt be bothered holding up the conversation. And so their was silence. I said a few things after that but nuthin to continue on. I think this is one of my big problems i've noticed, i just get lazy and try and get them to do all the talking. And i run out of topics... which i recon is to do with my confidence or actually still caring what the girls think. Oh well theres some work to be done on me yet.
Managed to meet up some friends/acquantinces there, after about 10 mins with them walking in the club this girl i know walks upto me, no not BC material, the others dont bother to wait up n keep going. Gee nice one fellas! Anyway after i stop speaking to her i enter the dance floor. Danced for a bit, then i dance with the girl who bumped into me, we dance a little (with her group). Then i start dancing by myself a bit more and this girl in front of me gives me some eye and a smile. I smile back. Within a few minutes shes right near me and starts putting her booty(arse) onto me. I'm like ok wateva. and put my arms on her waist, she gets straight into it. Then eventually i turn her around we get some good eye then i notice her face looks a bit older than mine but im like hey must be 25, no complaints if its practice (I'm 18 remember). She was i'd say a 7.5 (with make up). Anyway shes trying to get all intimate from the get go right putting her neck and resting her head on my shoulder so i breathe on her, kiss her softly? We eventually hook up. Her friend who she was dancing with originally didnt like the idea us dancing being left alone but hey oh well she can wait. Then a few minutes later she asks my age, i tell her. Then she says im 30! That kinda spun me out you know, and this dude who used to goto my school was giving me disapproving looks i think lol. Funny stuff i recon, but hey its all part of life right.
You experience everything ONCE.
Then a moment later she hooks up with another guy and tries to nudge me with her butt? Maybe im looking into things too much but i think she was trying to get me jealous. A good laugh lol. But i think some people i know dancing near me had a good laugh seeing me with her hahah. Shyt happens .

Thats my highlight for tonight (maybe even this year haha.

I'll need to really get serious about approaching more girls though and doing some more effort. I've been lazy sort of lately, like trying to always be mr relaxed, but mr relaxed sometimes runs out of topics of conversation.
I need to USE EVERY OPPORTUNITY I GET!

Oh and in case you're wondering, i didnt get the 30 yr olds number, i think i can give that one a miss.

I'm out.

Mike

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 3b, day 1

I fugged up week 3.
It was still asked to much for me. I made it my main project and got to desperate.

I have to break this up into even smaller steps, as proposed in the WMS. I will do a week 3b starting today talking to 10 "reasonable" chicks, just to get used to it. Only then I will proceed and accept the challenge of 10 HB.

Another thing I realized is that it is true that in most cases you have to do most of the conve-stuff yourself. For instance, I was at a bar yesterday and I chatted to the guy next to me. It was difficult since he was SOOO cool (AFC). I insisted without pressure and he warmed up a little. It was not what I wanted for the evening so I left soon after, him getting a bit of a neg-hit. no insult, I just said that I wanted something else this evening.


MoveYourA$$.. and your brain will follow

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 3b, day 1 report

Number close. She was cute and kind of inviting me, but it might just have been a trick, though. She kind'a had to talk to me. I'll see if the number is right / if she has any interest when I phone her in a few days. I count this in any case since I was acting superbold. You should have been there...

Another convo with UG in a bar. Was funny since, as I found out in a short pause of convo ( I thought, ok, let's pause) she was the gf of the bar keeper... He came immediately holding her hand accross the bar, than came over & hugged her closely etc. Incredible, this AFC was getting so afraid and jelous, although I did NOTHING, just chatting. And for that girl...
Well, it was good practice for me.

I realized that it was a good decision for me to do the intermediate step. This way I have progress AND (important) have successful actions which increase my self-esteem / expand my belief system. HB-chat will be after 10 normal chick convos. It's also more difficult if you're not in college/university. Maybe I'll hang around those areas more, however.

Another thing I realized is that I too often went back to the areas where I had those fantastic success in the first week. It's a good place, however I got a bit bored running around there. Change in this is vital for me, since different surroundings make it more interesting and your skills become more universal, too.

What I will practice in these talks to (not necessarily HB) chicks is to flirt more, talk in a sensual way, EC, C&F etc, basically all the stuff. Since my other chats (week 2) have been basically with guys, I did not get much practice on those skills yet.

Chick convos 2 of 10

 

[Mikers]

Well done mate, keep up the good work
Yeah guys are good for general chit chat, but i find you can get away with more with girls
As for my situation, i've been a bit slack from being over worked. Yep i know, no excuse but it requires effort when you feel like just simply sleeping haha.
Done a few conversations this week with girls, no number closes yet. I swear chicks have a second sense for reading a guys feelings. Let me go on, i think i was trying to be over C&F and chicks seem to KNOW when its more a act than your natural charm lol.

MoveYourAss - if you find it viable, i suggest going on public transport for a new spot.
Believe me many HB's catch buses and trains over here. Chances are they do there too

well ill continue my week 3 at the clubs this weekend to finish up. Then onwards to number closes next week

peace

Mike

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 3b, day 4

day 2:0
day 3:0

day 4:2
went out, had a nice chat with the barkeeper, met a guy and winged immediately, got shot down badly but didn't take personally (EC before, but approached without, mistake), and had another chat with a chick wich was unfortunately WAY too stupid.
However, 2 countable and several other short ones and with guys. i.e. last weeks topics refreshed and deepened.
Have to work on voice (WMS), flirting, C&F and selling my own professional situation better.

4 down, 6 to go
zzzzzzz.....

 

[MoveYourAss...]

just briefly:
I forgot about one yesterday.
1 today,

that is 6, 4 to go on the final two days of week 3b. I want to do some cold / street approaches.
looking forward to the nice ones, but I must confess that I'm still a bit afraid of this next step. Well, actually a good sign. Overcoming your fears is growing.

Enough wisdom now, gotta sleep. yesterday night kinda killed me.

MoveYourA$$...and your brain will follow